I hope you guys are still reading and still loving this story. I've worked on it a little bit more this weekend so I'll try and post Chapter 12 soon too. I found out not all that long ago that Penn and Domino have moved outta New York into some neighborhood I can't remember the name of. Anyway, for the sake of this story or at least so far...they still live in Williamsburg.

Chapter 11.

How did he get here? How had his life gone so rapidly off track? He'd been sitting still on the couch for over an hour and had barely moved a muscle. He hadn't even been thinking. Not really thinking or at least, not in the way she had wanted him to. He had been lulled into a state of both denial and confusion. "Yes you do." How was she so sure about this? How could she read his feelings in a way he obviously couldn't? The past few months were slowly tumbling into his conciencence now, like a waterfall they flooded his mind as he scratched at his temples slowly.

"I uh, I got married."

"You've got your mom's eyes."

'Maybe we can continue, whatever it was..Thursday night.'

"So you only heard tonight...that she's gonna be there?"

"Because...it has sentimental value now."

"You're married. We're both happy. I don't know why you're pressing this."

"So...how does she feel, I mean, is this...thing you two have, mutual?" "Yeah...I think it is."

"...You were everything to me, Blake. I loved you. I...loved you."

"Because I can see in your fucking face you're more concerned about that damn clock than you are about me!"

He shook his head and in what she had perhaps anticipated would take hours of thought and conjecture, took only a few fleeting seconds. And that scared the shit out of him.

Feeling faint all of a sudden he made his way quickly into the kitchen and downed a glass of water. Boy though did he need something stronger than that. He began pacing round the kitchen and back into the living room where his hands began to twitch uncontrollably and he could feel himself beginning to sweat. Their baby was due in less than six weeks and he had found himself longing for something he thought he had left behind. Terrified, he reached for his phone, his fingers trembling so greatly in its hold he almost dropped it and let it smash into smithereens. Just like that damn clock. 'Hey. I need to see you. And not like before, we need to talk about this, properly. Let me know if you still feel the same. Penn.'

It was like he had jumped off the edge of a cliff with nothing but a questionable parachute in his grasp. Whether he plummeted to the ground or was launched into safety was anyone's guess at this point.

It was now twenty minutes later and Penn was no longer wearing a hole in the floor but had found himself pacing around Bedford Avenue, just round the corner from his home. He could feel sweat cling to him like desperation clung to his thoughts. He could feel himself becoming more nauseous and he was honestly beginning to think being sick was a serious possibility here. Desperately trying to see through his now somewhat blurry vision, he attempted to make his way towards a nearby bench. 'Fuck I hope a fan doesn't get a picture of me vommiting' he thought to himself. Or worse, paparazzi. There always seemed to be some looming around. Before he could make it to the bench to rest his quivering legs he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. A pang of adrenalin seeped through him causing him to yank at his shorts desperately and draw his phone into his somewhat clearer sight. It was from her. Relief wasn't the right word. It was a comprehensive blend of words, or emotions for that matter. But most of all, he felt panicked. His eyes had only registered one word so far, the one word his eyes darted straight towards. 'Yes'. He blinked, swallowing hard simultaneously and taking a moment to look up from his phone to the passers-by ahead to breathe. One deep long breath, before he continued. 'Hi...Yes I do. Call me back, Ryan's out tonight so - later is good, if not, just text me a time and a place. Bx' He took a moment to let the reality of this unpredicted twist of fate sink in, to let his heart rate return to normal and allow him to accept the situation he had found himself in. It didn't take long before he was itching to respond. 'Hey. I'm gonna need to talk about this with Domino...tonight. I'll text you in a few days with an address. Have a good evening, Blake. X' His words were so cold, so categorically lacking emotion, but he knew it was the right thing for now. He needed to allow some time to get his head together and to talk to Domino before taking things any further with Blake.

He lay in bed, he could see the light of the alarm clock by his side illuminate a small portion of the floor. He hadn't slept a wink, which filled him with even more trepidation as he knew Domino would be able to tell he was tired and she'd then wonder why he hadn't slept. Words from their heated conversation earlier that night were running ramped round his mind. "Look, okay Blake and I have a history. You know that. Seeing her again has affected me in ways I didn't expect, but that doesn't mean I want to be with her it's just taken some getting used to. I love you, Domino. With all my heart I do and...I know that you know that. Please, believe it."

A few days had trickled by now and Penn was conscious he needed to reply to Blake. In fact, it had been all he'd been able to think about. How had he morphed into this guy who seemed to have two women waiting for him to make his mind up? It was like he was seventeen again. He shook his head violently, trying to drown his thoughts urgently. He couldn't think about it like that. He was married and he hated passionately how he was behaving. He needed to see Blake, to try to make sense of it all and pray to God that at the end of it he would choose his wife over her.

It was the 8th June. 5.54pm. She was due to get there in six minutes. Six fucking minutes until he could sort his life out for good. Put an end to whatever the hell these two were clinging on to so he could move forward with his life. To say he was feeling the most petrified he had felt in quite possibly his entire life would not be an understatement. Each noise of a passing car outside made his heart flutter and his stomach churn. He was restless, so restless all he could do was helplessly pace round his friend's abode, glancing at his watch every twenty or so seconds. Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door and somehow he had missed the noise of a car pulling up on the driveway. Fuck. He gulped hard. His throat was so dry he wasn't even sure he'd be able to speak, but then, he wasn't really sure what he was going to say anyway. Not now. Not now that he had had days to think about this. Days where each passing hour his wife had slowly begun to act a little more normal around him and that filled him with an undeniable sense of relief.

He was at the door now and his left hand was trembling over the handle. He wasn't sure whether he was about to open the door to his future or his past or maybe some bizarre concoction of the two. Taking one long, courageous breath, he opened it to reveal her. Standing there. "Fuck." He muttered. Unsure if he'd uttered it in and amongst his thoughts or audibly under his breath. Straight away her eyes were on him and they looked almost, pleading. His lips twisted around in an almost confused smirk as he surveyed her, taking in every inch of her being before plucking up the courage to say something. "Hi." His voice was slow and almost deep, but his greeting was also met with a warm smile. She flinched as she watched his lips break into what looked a little like a beam.

"Hi…" she was trying not to reflect his expression, to try and appear a little less than ecstatic but she wasn't sure that was possible, considering how she was feeling. His smile escalated uncontrollably and within a matter of a few milliseconds they were both loitering there, beaming.

Standing almost a metre away from each other in the hall, she was now a little too nervous to meet his gaze. Feeling too afraid to watch his face as she told him something she wasn't sure he'd want to hear. "I umm…" her fingers were gently interlocked in front of her stomach and her eyes were fastened on them intently, as if somehow they would give her the strength to continue. "I told Ryan I want a divorce." Somehow she found the bravery to face him, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to conceal his reaction and that his expression in that moment would say more than words ever could.

Letting a small amount of air escape from his lips he raised his hand to his forehead, trying to still the new found turbulence in his mind. Gulping hard, he prepared himself to speak.

"Uh...why?" Observing his face with fierce intensity she really wasn't sure how he was feeling right now. His thoughts so well concealed from her it made her fret with wild panic.

"I realized...I was wrong." His eyes twitched and his head lilted to the side as he watched her, confused.

"Wrong about what?" The depth of his voice and the dance of his lips never failed to knock her back a few feet. God he was sexy.

"I spent the last...almost nine years thinking he was the one for me. I did. I believed it and I thought...I really thought I knew it too?" She pushed her lips together in what appeared almost like a pout but he was used this expression with her and although he knew full well it wasn't a pout, he had always thought it was sexy. "You know how they say, you know when you know? And I did. I knew." She shook her head slowly almost in disbelief and laughed a little ironically at her own remark. "But I guess I was wrong. Because it's been hard for me to come to terms with this, really...really hard but I realized he couldn't be the one all the while I have been feeling a certain way about someone else." Someone else? Did she need to be so stupidly indiscrete? Of course he knew she was talking about him as if it wasn't the most obvious thing she'd ever said to him. Apart from maybe the time she first told him she loved him. She knew he knew that too.

Speechless. He wasn't normally, rarely in fact, but this time he was. He chuckled a little under his breath now, realizing he now knew something too.

"You know I uh." He stopped "There's this picture...of us. From 2008...I think." He moved his tongue to the side of his mouth preparing himself to continue his monologue. "We looked happy, Blake. We looked...so happy." He raised his eyes tentatively to glance at her, catching her eye he felt a pang in his heart and adrenaline seep rapidly through to his brain. "I um...I loved that picture." He inhaled deeply, "and after we broke up, I was going through stuff that reminded me of you and I um, I found that picture...and I told myself I'd keep it." He paused. "But only until I found someone I loved as much as I loved you. Then I'd you know, chuck it out." Biting his nail nervously he looked back at her, her eyes practically begging him to continue speaking as soon as humanly possible. He smiled, a small smile as he caught her gaze. "Then I met Zoe and I loved her, Blake. I was totally in love with her and pretty soon after working that out, I remembered that picture...of us. But somehow….for some reason that I could never understand, I couldn't get rid of it. I knew I loved her. I thought...I actually...still think, in a way...I loved her more than you." Licking his lips casually before persisting with his confession. "But I...I kept it. Then Domino came along and for a long time I didn't even remember the picture existed. You know, I haven't been lying in bed, every night...looking at it longingly under the covers…" they shared a small laugh and suddenly she thought she could see love pouring out from his adorning eyes. "But uh...I did. I did remember, shortly after I asked her to marry me actually and...being engaged kind of, reminded me of us. So I dug it out and walked all the way over to the nearest trash can and I stared at the picture for the longest time and umm…" stopping, he breathed. It was like he hadn't breathed in almost ten years. Reality dawning on him like a ton of bricks, fast and uncontrollable. Even knowing he was going to see her tonight he didn't know where this was going to go. He couldn't predict how he would feel, how she would feel. It was all an unknown but suddenly for the first time since that night in January it all made sense. Lifting his eyes he locked his with hers and watched her in simple awe. In unison he parted his lips to continue as he stuck his hand in his pocket and fumbled around a bit as he began to speak. Drawing a somewhat crumpled and most definitely aged photograph from his shorts he brought it into sight and twisted it a little in his grip. "I never got rid of it."