AN: Thank you so much everyone for the reviews and alerts. I am truly flattered.

This chapter's song title is by Taylor Swift. I also wrote while listening to Through the Mist by Piano Soulos on the Tube.

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, a woman wrote an amazing series that has taken the world by force like a hurricane… that was not I.

Chapter Two: You're Not Sorry

BPOV

I stood there for several minutes before pulling myself together. I could not afford to mourn the loss of my one great love right now. I was alone, in the middle of the forest, with no idea where to go from here.

Literally.

I started to stumble my way through the underbrush, tripping over roots of the massive trees I was trying to see past. The déjà vu made me laugh bitterly. Why did it feel like I was always stumbling through the woods after Edward telling me he didn't want me? Maybe because I was. The brief view of sunshine gave me my heading. I tried to tell where it was in the sky and get my bearings in relation but it was no surprise when I started to feel myself walking on a perceptible incline. If we had been close to the Cullen's house, I should have been there by now. The fact that I wasn't only confirmed my suspicions that I was lost. Hopelessly. I stepped on a rock, preparing to hoist myself up, but slipped on the slick, mossy surface and fell, knee scraping against the rough edges of the rocks, breaking skin. I landed on my tailbone with a thud. I felt sick and then I noticed the stinging pain of my new scrapes and cuts.

It was at this point that I could no long hold in the agony that I had been trying to contain. I set back, pulling my knees up to my chin, ignoring the pain that shoots through my legs as I do so. The tears were waiting to come and need no formal invitation now to begin pouring down my cheeks. Sobs rise from my too-pressured lungs and rack my entire body with their escape from my throat. I rest my forehead on my knees and give in to the pain completely. That small hole in my chest has ripped me completely open and it is almost as if I can feel the chill of the mist I am sitting in on my wounded heart. I try not to remember my favorite times with Edward. I pretend that I've been knocked unconscious and when I woke up, I have no idea who Edward is, what he meant to me. But my attempts at deception are unsuccessful. I end up dwelling on the first time that Edward kissed me; his slow, careful approach; the feel of his cold, hard lips moving against mine; the way his breath felt on my lips. These memories made my tears fall in torrents, soaking my jeans.

A branch snapping jolted me out of my agonizing thoughts. My head shot up and I saw Jasper standing a few feet away from me. His eyes were black with dark, defined circles under them. They made his already pale skin seem whiter somehow. His hair was windswept from running and he was looking at me, not breathing. I looked down at my legs and realized I was still bleeding freely from where the rock had one the fight against my legs. I managed to feel a flicker of worry and fear as I realized that I was in prime condition to undo all of Jasper's self-control. I watched as he moved towards me and I felt my fear increase, felt my heartbeat accelerate, pounding so loud that it was surely a siren call to his thirst. I closed my eyes, hoping that it would be quick, that I wouldn't even realize when it happened.

I felt an arm under my knees and another around my back. Suddenly I was in the air and we were flying through the trees. I looked up into Jasper's face but he didn't meet my gaze. His jaw was set and a small frown played on the corner of his lips. We slowed down a few yards from the house and he walked at human speed the rest of the way. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie came outside the house and ran –at human speed, I noticed- over to us. Carlisle was at the hospital. I felt a sense of expectancy I couldn't place. My heart ached as I realized that I was half expecting Alice to come out and tell me that my future wasn't ruined by Edward's betrayal. My tears began anew as I felt the pain of loss. Jasper's chest spasmed and I noticed that he was looking at me with understanding and agony of his own reflecting in his eyes. He looked at me like I was the only one who felt the same that he did. And maybe I did. I knew that Alice wasn't any closer to Emmett and Rose than I was. Edward was probably her closest sibling. She was my best friend in the world, the only girl I could have a serious talk with because I didn't have to hide my desire to become a vampire from her like I did with Angela. And now, now I would be able to discuss my hopes and dreams for a lost future with anyone.

"Bella, are you okay," Esme asked, hands fluttering over me. She took in my bloody legs and glanced up at Jasper, her eyes worried and confused like she wasn't sure it was he carrying me. Emmett looked pissed. I was guessing that Edward hadn't let on to anyone of his infidelity and abandonment. Rosalie was staring at her 'twin' speculatively, as though confident in his control and yet completely dumbfounded by it.

"I'm fine, Esme. Really, I'm okay. I just slipped and fell trying to climb up a mountain." Esme's eyebrows snapped together. She looked livid, and yet there was still the warm, comforting, motherly glow in them.

"Edward is going to be getting a piece of my mind," she growled.

"Ha! You and me both, Mom. Although I might just throw in some punches and kicks to help my piece sink in," Emmett said, outraged. "No bastard treats my sister like that!" He punched his fist for emphasis, although I doubt anyone questioned his intent.

"Emmett, no matter how angry you are with him, violence will only beget more anger and pain," Esme said, placing a hand on his arm. He glared at a nearby tree and muttered incoherently under his breath. Jasper moved forward and the others followed behind. Esme was offering me anything. She offered to call Carlisle to clean up my injuries, or to make me anything I wanted. I refused politely and said that I could take care my legs and that I wasn't hungry. Jasper carried me up the stairs until we came to his room. When he opened the door, I gasped.

"Oh, Jasper," I said sympathetically. The room was littered with broken picture frames and vases. Alice's clothes were thrown all over the floor and other surfaces. Only her closet of shoes remained immaculate. I almost laughed. If there was one thing you didn't touch, even in death, it was Alice's shoes.

"They're just things. Things that you pay money for. Things you can replace," he said bitterly. "You can't replace a person," he said so quietly I almost missed it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. Then I jumped back, unsure if I was pushing him too far. He rolled his eyes.

"Bella, I am far to upset with my brother –and in general- to care about blood. You can ask Esme, she's been on me to go hunting like fleas on a dog." I watched as he collapsed on the bed next to me and put his head in his hands. "I just… I couldn't save her," he said, deep voice strangled. "She called me as it was happening to say goodbye. I tried to get to her in time but I wasn't fast enough." I watched as his shoulders shook with dry sobs. Tears graced my own cheeks. I placed a hand on his back and rubbed it soothingly. "And then Edward," he said, spitting out the name like it was a bad taste in his mouth, "just up and left you! He had you, he had everything and he threw it all away for some blonde slut in Alaska who had it in her head to ensnare him all along. You think I don't know what she was doing? Tanya hated Alice. She hated her gift, her size, her beauty, her wit, all of it! If she was mourning over Alice, my heart will start beating."

"Jasper, I'm hurt, devastated by what Edward has done, but I'm not angry. Not right now anyways. I'm still in denial." Jasper's mouth twitched slightly at the psychology reference. "Please, Jasper, don't let Edward's stupidity make you more miserable. This isn't healthy. This isn't how she would want you to be living," I pleaded. He flew up from the bed and his face was inches from mine. His eyes blazed like fire and his lips were curled in anger.

"Thanks to Jane, I will never know what Alice wanted! Do you think I don't know that what I am doing is unhealthy? Do you think that I don't know that if Alice walked into this room she would scream like a maniac? I do, Bella! I know exactly how different things would be if Alice were here. But she isn't, so please, let me miss my wife!" I stared at him, sobs fighting to escape my throat. "Please," he whispered before dropping to his knees and laying his face in my lap, crying as well as he could without being able to actually shed tears. I stroked his hair, crying myself.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I miss her too," I whispered quietly. He sobbed harder. After a few hours of our grieving, he sat back and then sighed.

"Feel better," I asked with a small smile.

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe I just yelled at you and then cried on your lap for hours. How will I possibly have my manly dignity after this?" I laughed.

"You know what I find hardest to believe? You left Alice's shoes alone. You trashed everything else in this room but those." He smiled and shrugged.

"I couldn't be sure she wouldn't find some way to haunt me if I even touched one of her shoes." I laughed and then sighed, looking at my legs. They were a mess of rust-colored dried blood and dirt. I should have cleaned up.

"What about you, Bella? What are you going to do now that Edward's left?" I stared at the paintings on the wall, half smiling at the irony of my situation.

"I think I might go to Utah," I said finally.

"What's in Utah?" I shrugged.

"I'm not sure. But it's different, you know? I mean, I can't afford it, but if I had my choice I think I would go there and learn to ski and start rock climbing or something. I think it's just different from here… I think I need to be different." He stared at me for a few moments, head cocked to one side. Then he stood up and pulled a silver briefcase like the ones you see in spy movies out of the top drawer of the dresser. He handed it to me.

"Here. You'll need this," he said. I took the case from him, confused. When I opened it, neat, pristine stacks of hundred dollar bills smiled up at me.

"No, Jasper, I couldn't possibly," I said, but he stopped me, putting his hand on mine.

"Alice… Alice always kept that suitcase in case something happened to you and she needed quick cash. She always told me that it would come in handy one day. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find out she was right. Go, Bella," he said when I opened my mouth to argue. "Go get over Edward. Go learn to ski and climb rocks and dance and all the things you never thought you could do. Do it because Alice would have followed you to Utah and then dragged you all over the world, just so that you could say you'd seen the world," he said, a bittersweet smile on his face. I stared into his dark eyes and then began to feel my chin quiver as I thought of all the things Alice had said we would do. But for Jasper…

Jasper was losing his best friend, his mate, the person who had saved him from a life of hell, blood and violence. He was losing his other half.

"She probably wouldn't have settled for Utah," I said shakily at an attempt at humor. "She would have taken me straight to the Alps." He laughed and I chuckled sadly, picturing Alice in her snow gear trying to coax me down a mountain on a pair skis.

"She loved you, Bella," he said quietly, feeling my pain. "She would have beat Edward dead for leaving." I smiled.

"She wouldn't have had to," I said. "He isn't worth the effort." He playful nudged my chin.

"There's the spirit," he said, smiling. "You'll write from wherever you decide to go, right?" I was a little surprised he was asking. Today was the most I'd ever interacted with Jasper alone. Then I realized that Jasper wasn't scary or cold. He just knew his limits.

"Of course I will," I promised.

"Good, now go say goodbye to everyone. They all want to make sure you're okay." I smiled and then hugged him one last time. He was cold and hard but when I felt his arms close around me, I felt a little warmer, a little closer to healing than I had before.

I felt like maybe, just maybe, I might be able to get past this.