"Effie, so nice of you to agree to visit. Do come in," Julia welcomed the other woman into her home.
"Would you care for some wine?" Julia asked, guiding Effie to sit with her.
Effie looked around the open space that served in the place of multiple rooms in the Murdoch residence. "Your husband isn't home?"
"No, I thought it would be nice for the two of us to spend some time together, just to talk," Julia said. "How have you been feeling lately?"
"I'm perfectly all right," Effie replied stiffly. "Everything is back to normal, and I'm... fine with all of it."
"Are you certain? George tells me you've been having trouble sleeping," Julia pressed gently.
"Oh, he did, did he?" Effie snapped. "I suppose he wants you to sort me out. We can't have anything disturbing his sleep."
"No, just the opposite. He thinks you're strong, stronger than you think yourself, but you don't have to be strong all the time," Julia reassured her. "I only wanted to reach out, in case there is anything I might do to help."
"Help," Effie scoffed. "Calling for help didn't do me any good while I was stuck in that tree. Instead I had to wait for Dorothy of all people to let me down again. Now people want to help, when I don't need it. I'm only sitting around, feeling like a fool every time I jump at a strange noise, or have a nightmare..." she broke off, agitated.
"You're not foolish, Effie. You're haunted. I know what that's like," Julia tried to console her.
Effie slumped back in her chair and groaned. "How would you know what it's like, with your perfect marriage and your perfect life? Did you read about it in one of those medical textbooks?"
"No, not exactly," Julia looked down into her glass, contemplating her fingers through the swirling red liquid. She put her drink down hastily, but it was too late to keep herself from seeing blood on her hands. "I've been through it, or something like it. A woman, a patient of mine actually, Eva Pearce, once tried to murder me over William's affections."
Effie sat up again, regarding Dr. Ogden more carefully than she had before."You seemed to have coped without any trouble."
Julia shook her head. "No, I didn't at all. My response at the time was rash, and it tormented me afterwards. To this day I go back over it in my mind, trying to find some other solution. You see, I killed her."
Effie pulled back slightly.
"I know, it's something I recoil from myself," Julia said. "I thought I'd feel safer once she was dead, but instead I felt the opposite. The truth is, I wish I had someone to talk to in those days. Trying to carry on, to be fine when I really wasn't, nearly destroyed me. I don't want to see anyone else go through what I did, I simply couldn't bear it."
"I didn't realize," Effie murmured.
"Yes, well, I didn't tell you all that in order to shock you, or belittle your own experiences. I simply wanted you to know if you ever did want to talk, it would do as much to benefit my peace of mind as it would your own," Julia confessed.
"I trusted Dorothy. I thought of her as more than an assistant, I believed she was my friend," Effie drew in a shaky breath. "Now I'm not so sure I know how to judge who my friends are. Even George..."
"What about George?" Julia asked when Effie stopped.
"When I saw him that night, holding hands with another woman, being told that he'd married her... For a minute, I believed them. I believed that George really had betrayed me," Effie said.
"Do you still believe that now?" Julia asked.
"No, I," Effie stopped again. "I don't know what to believe."
"Looking back on my own life, there were so many things that tried to keep William and I apart. Sometimes, one of those things was me giving in to my fears. I only wish I could go back in time, and warn myself how much I'd come to regret letting those fears dictate my actions," Julia told her.
"You think I should be with George," Effie concluded.
"I think you should follow your heart," Julia answered.
"Follow my heart," Effie repeated. "That's not the sort of thing a lawyer typically does. I'm not sure I want to try, not when my heart keeps telling me I'm not safe yet. I'm not ready to put my faith in the world."
"It isn't wrong to want to take time. No matter what you decide to do, about George, about life, I promise I will be there for you," Julia told her.
"I'm not ready to decide anything in life. I still feel so trapped," Effie wiped at her eyes with a shaking hand.
"I know some methods that can help you process what your feeling, and help you cope with the trauma you've endured," Julia offered.
"I already know what I'm feeling, what I want to know is when those feelings will stop. I want it all to end," Effie protested.
"Even at the expense of not feeling anything at all? Apathy is not something I would recommend to anyone," Julia warned.
Effie dropped her gaze. "Perhaps I don't want all of my feelings to end. I do love George, but I don't think I could fight for him."
"Love isn't about fighting for people. I learned that too late, please don't repeat my mistakes," Julia said.
"Then what? When Dorothy and Amelia come back, I should let them win?" Effie huffed.
"Not at all," Julia insisted. "It may sound hypocritical of me to say, but if they ever do come back, let the law handle them. In the meantime, don't spend your life waiting, and looking out for them. Spend your life living, however you want to live."
Effie thought on that for a long time. "I think I can do that," she said at last, and picked up her own drink for the first time. She took a deep swallow. "Look at that," she said, regarding the glass. "Not even drugged. Maybe I can trust some people after all."