Thank ya'll! I just have to say that I LOVED the mail that came flooding into my inbox with words of praise and encouragement. It was a highlight of my week. It has been a really rough week and hearing that you guys liked the latest chapter (my return chapter nonetheless) was a huge boost for me.

So, sorry in advance to all of you people who wanted Jasper and Bella to just sort of jump in and get to it. This chapter… well, this chapter is a little unique. And long. You can thank Bella for that. She had a lot to say.

Song for this chapter is Hello (I did by the Glee Cast aka Lea Michele and whatever the guy is who plays Jesse). I normally don't write to Glee but this song has always struck a chord with me (it's the piano. I am a sucker for piano). And the title works nicely, don't you think? I also listened to I Dreamed A Dream by Glee Cast and I'll Follow You by Jon McLaughlin (again, the piano!).

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's characters were obviously well balanced, healthy, sane people…. Er vampires. Mine: crazy, hormonal, emotional wrecks. I am sure she loves me for this.

Chapter 5: Hello

BPOV:

I couldn't move. Couldn't think. I wasn't even sure if I was awake or if this was one of those bizarre dreams that feels like it's actually happening; like when you dream about waking up and it is so realistic and vivid that when you wake up for real, you can't help but be confused.

Jasper just continued to stare at me. I could see worry and misgivings playing on his face but still I did not move, short of breathing. He was watching me worriedly, as though unsure of my mental facilities.

I couldn't say that I blamed him.

"Bella, would you please say something," he finally pleaded. I looked at him, his beauty, his presence. I could tell he was reading my feelings closely but I don't think he felt anything from me but numb shock. Hadn't I just been thinking about him, missing him, wishing he would come out here and be with me so that I would not have to be alone anymore? And I came home to find him here on the living room couch as calm as can be. Was it true then? I had thought of the Devil, had the Devil appeared?

Well that was just ridiculous. Jasper was as close to the Devil as he was to Scarlett O'Hara. It was just an odd coincidence.

"Bella?" His voice was beginning to sound past controlled. I could tell that it was all he could do not to rush to me. He didn't want to frighten me.

That was all it took.

My knees buckled from beneath. Before I could feel my body make impact with the floor, I felt his strong, solid arms around me, catching me. I slumped into his chest, sobs catching in my throat as I tried to stop the torrents of tears that were now crashing down my cheeks to the ground. I sobbed into this chest and clutched at his shirt like I was drowning, falling away to a dark place I couldn't escape from. And in a way, I was. It suddenly fell apart. My carefully composed façade of disinterest in my position, in what Edward had done to me, in how Alice's death had affected me. I realized now that I had been running, hiding, avoiding the pain of these events and now, with Jasper here, holding me, it all caught up to me and knocked the breath out of me, paralyzing my body. I felt my heart tear open as I remembered Edward's disinterest, all the nights that I had woken to an empty bed, an empty house. All the comments that I could hear Alice make if she could see my outfits, listen to my dance instructor giving me tips and instructions. I could hear her tinkling laugh when I rock climbed, could see her sparkling skin in the sunlight as I hiked around the mountains I now lived in.

I had thought that Jasper was the one who needed saving, that I was in a place to try and comfort him, to help him heal. But the fact that he was here, that he was the one comforting me, told me that I was the one who needed saving, that I was in no position to help him. He had left Forks to come save me. He left Alice behind and I knew, as sure as I knew Tanya had tricked Edward into leaving me, that it was because he was strong enough, that he was healing.

I had been kidding myself in my last letter to him. I was not closer to getting over Edward. I had just escaped the environment that reminded me of him. And if I was being honest with myself, I knew that it did still hurt. It hurt in that way that even after a relationship has ended and you realized that it wasn't as good as you thought it was, that the good times weren't that good, you still mourned the loss of a body pressing itself against yours, or a should to cry on or fall asleep on. It hurt because you had lost an aspect of your life that you didn't realize you needed until you no longer had someone to kiss you goodnight, to sing you to sleep, to hold your hand during a sad movie, to hand you Kleenex during a tearjerker, to be your support system and to love you. Unconditionally. Even if you realize later that the love you shared was conditional or maybe wasn't even love, you still missed having someone that belonged to you.

And Alice… how could my body even bear the loss of someone I had a closer connection to than Alice. I felt like I was going to be crushed like a bug to a windshield from the pain of that loss. Not only the loss of a friend, but the loss of a sister. She had been my confidante, the one person that I could go to when Edward was being bossy or grumpy or was refusing to change me. I couldn't talk to anyone else about that. So many things in my life had been flimsy, unsure. Alice had been the person I could go to and have her tell me things were going to work out and to know it. She had been the constant variable in my life and now… now I knew nothing. I was sure of nothing. I couldn't be sure that tomorrow I wouldn't be killed by a sadistic vampire or the flu or that tomorrow I would meet the love of my life, the one person whose very presence could fill my heart with joy. Without her, I didn't even know if a person like that existed.

I realized that I had been crying on Jasper's shoulder for a while now, although my sobs had evanesced into silent tears. I raised my head to stare into his eyes and saw pain echoed in his features.

My pain.

He had felt everything that I was feeling; he knew exactly what I was feeling. He had taken it, withstanding feeling my own agony as well as his own. He stared down at me and his face softened.

"Liar," he whispered. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"I didn't realize I was," I said unnecessarily. He smiled slightly.

"I know," he said. He raised a hand to my face and brushed a tear from cheek with his cold thumb lightly and then cupped his hand to my cheek. I inadvertently leaned into his touch. His comforting presence eased the pain now that I calmed down enough to appreciate his company. He lifted us up off the hardwood floor and carried me to the couch. He disappeared for a few moments and came back a few minutes later with a mug which he handed to me and then sat next to me, his knee resting against my leg. I lifted the cup to my lips and smiled as I tasted the hot chocolate on my tongue. I looked at it after I had taken a gulp and smiled at the white puffs of marshmallows in the brown liquid. I sniffed and then sighed.

"Sorry," I said with a half hearted laugh, "I didn't mean to release all that on you." He chuckled next to me and I looked up into his topaz eyes. Humor shined in their depths but the shadow of pain was not erased completely and I wondered briefly if it ever would be. Would Jasper ever let go of his pain and find a happy existence again?

"I sincerely hope that you didn't," he drawled and I felt my lips rise in a smile at the easy, slow warmth that crawled into my chest from his Southern accent. "That would be a pretty horrible to inflict on a friend who just ran nine hundred miles to see you." He nudged my shoulder with his. I smiled crookedly and brushed the hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"I can't believe you're really here," I said, looking back at him. "You didn't need to come, I would have been okay." He cocked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "I would have been okay for a while longer. I think it was the initial shock of finding you on my couch that made everything fall apart for me." I shuddered at the thought of experiencing that alone. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and I rested my head on his.

"I wanted to see you," he murmured, kissing the top of my head. I smiled softly and rested a hand on his knee, playing with the hold on the knee.

"Jasper," I said after a few minutes of comforting silence.

"Yes, Bella," he whispered.

"How long are you… how long are you staying," I asked, trying to keep the fear from my voice. Of course he felt it but I couldn't hide that from him. His arm tightened.

"As long as you want me here," he said, giving my shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

"I might want you to stay for a long time," I muttered. He laughed softly. Of course he heard.

"Then I will be here a long time." I looked up at him and saw in his face and eyes the fierce loyalty that I had become familiar with over the past few months. My heart fluttered as I realized that Jasper and I had become more than just friends of misery.

We needed each other. At least, I knew I needed him, his comfort. He probably just needed someone to save. I had become all too familiar with his hero complex. I hadn't noticed before if he had one, but I suppose after not being fast enough to save Alice, he felt he needed to save me from his horrible brother. I was only human after all.

"Thank you, Jasper," I whispered as I rested my cheek on his shoulder again.

"You're welcome, darlin'," he said against my hair.

I closed my eyes and smiled, feeling a little piece of warmth wrap itself around my aching heart.

This chapter was both difficult and easy for me to write. The words, the descriptions eluded me. I couldn't find a song to write to that me connect to her emotions and that was difficult for me, to try and communicate the level of pain that she is experiencing without doing it a great injustice. But it was easy because once I found the song that evoked the depth of the pain and loss she was feeling, the words flowed so fast that I thought I would miss them.

I am Southern so please don't make fun of me for the future misuses of grammar that makes my accent so sexy (on him. It's sexy on him).

I would also like to thank you wonderful reviewers who commended me on my ability to portray and convey grief and loss. It is actually quite easy for me to do as a veteran of these feelings. I am just glad that I didn't make you want to slit your wrists.