The First Kiss
The midsummer banquet was going splendidly. Too splendidly, in fact, Merlin thought critically pacing his eyes around the room.
Arthur had given a heroic, motivating, yet proportionately conservative speech, in which everyone from Gwaine to Gaius had nodded in approval.
No fights had started between the younger knights and older lords.
And most importantly, no one had come close to dying. Yet.
Everything was running right on schedule, going exactly according to the plan (a rarity in Camelot despite being such a prosperous kingdom), putting Merlin on the edge of his metaphorical seat. Arthur had even told Merlin he could enjoy the festivities after serving at the banquet. Perhaps it was this idea of relaxing and letting his guard down that wound him up so much more, exacerbating his protective and jumpy nature.
"Merlin." Arthur snapped making Merlin stumble and almost drop the wine decanter before 'magically' catching. Arthur's eyes flattened and a few of the knights on his table let out a snicker.
"Yep." Merlin popped up. Arthur gritted his teeth and raised his eyebrows before eyeing the room.
"Yes. Sire." Merlin heaved. Truly the worst form of torture.
"Wine, please." Arthur beckoned shaking his goblet.
The usual suspects were on Arthur's table at the back of the great hall - Gwen of course, and all his trusted knights, along with a few ladies of the court who had turned inwards to their own gossip. Gaius was seated at another table with more mature company. As the banquet was an internal, more casual affair, the tables were scattered across the hall to allow more private groups and even more private conversations.
"Ahh Merlin, won't you be joining us?" Gwaine said pulling Merlin in the empty seat next to him before he could get to Arthur. Near the end of any banquet, you could always find an empty seat next to Sir Gwaine. Any sorry soul who had to sit next to him would be funnelled drinks over the course of the night and would have to keep up with the man util eventually they were sick and retired to their chambers. It was best to put Gwaine at the end of the table.
And now Merlin was sitting in that seat as Gwaine grabbed the goblet and began to pour wine.
"A glass for you Merlin?" Gwaine chuckled.
"Well, I am meant to be working." The knights turned to the king who addressed them all.
"It seems the main banquet has ended. Merlin, you can join us." A few of the knights raise their eyebrows in surprise and chorused with surprise.
"I know, I am as worried as you all are." Merlin joked, earning in a snarl from Arthur.
"Well Merlin," Gwaine began throwing his arm around the man, disregarding Arthur's authority, "We have all be going around the table sharing the story of our first kiss. Of young love, heroic deeds, youthful ambivalence, of-"
"Oh shut up!" Leon yelled from across the table. Even the most mature knight had begun to get bashful and slur his words.
"Well I do have a good story, I mean it's kind of a silly story but nether-the-less," Merlin began, everyone at the table leaned in, keen on his next words. Everyone but Guinevere, which Merlin found odd. Merlin shook his head and moved on.
"Well it was back in my village, and I was just a kid, but there was this beautiful girl. One day, I took her to this large tree and bought her some flowers, and in an act of courage, I kissed her and ran away. Little did I know, or she knew, that she was in fact allergic to those flowers and that night she broke out in a large red rash and couldn't leave her house for a week! I came to my mum crying because I had to tell her that I had in fact cursed her when I kissed her and that she was going to die because of me!" The knights laughed but it was not the first time Merlin thought he would kill someone from his curse. "Anyway, my mum knew it was in fact the flowers I had given her, but that didn't stop Will and I chasing girls around the village for the next month warning them of the evil kissing curse!"*
There were other reasons people used to be afraid of Merlin, his natural adherence to magic which was in fact highly illegal was one of them, but that could be saved for another day.
"Of course Merlin would have the worst luck," Elyan said chuckling.
"Tries to give a girl a kiss and ends up with a curse!" Percival continued.
"Now I think everyone has told their story," Arthur said.
"No! No," Gwaine called out, "We have one more. In fact, we have not been gentlemen at all." The knights curiously looked between each other.
"Miss Guinevere, we have neglected our fair queen. Tell us, what was the story of your first kiss?"
All the knights stole sneaky looks to one another and giggled before leaning in with cunning grins.
"Oh well there is no story, right? Your first kiss was me." Arthur boldly stated in an attempt to steal some eyes from his shy wife before smugly turning to her with a smirk.
"Ah yes well you were my first real kiss." Gwen smiled.
"Wait. Real kiss?" Arthur was taken aback, "What does that mean?" A few of the knights chuckled.
"I mean that you were the first kiss I had with someone I truly loved. Well not that I don't love the other guy it's just I don't love him like that. Not like I love you-"
Arthur's eyes widen in disbelief.
"Well then who was this infamous man" 'and how can I kill him' Arthur neglected to say.
"Well… I ummmm" Gwen muttered. Merlin glared at her perplexed and even more perplexed as to why her eyes seemed to dart towards him before prancing about the table, back to him, to the table, back to him.
Shit.
Merlin quickly stood up and started to generously fill everyone's glasses with the luscious red wine.
"Wine? Wine anyone? Wine Percival? Gwaine?" Arthur was trying to concentrate on his wife but could not help his eyes divert to his servant.
"Yes, thanks, Merlin!" Gwaine cheered. Guinevere looked to Merlin.
"Over here, Merlin!" Leon called. Arthur turned to see Merlin avoiding his eyes.
"Ah save some for me Merlin!" Percival pleaded. Arthur watched as Guienerve avoided his eyes.
"MERLIN!" Arthur yelled slamming his fist on the table.
The whole group, and even some of the greater party, stopped and stared at the king. Everyone knew he could be a little impatient for the drink but –
It was Gwaine who realised first, yelled, and started laughing (which luckily allowed others to continue their evening)
Both Merlin and Gwen went bright red and all the other knights caught on and began laughing so hard they were struggling for air. Arthur's face was a deep red too, but for another reason.
"Oh Merlin, Merlin my friend you have officially killed him. He is NEVER going to live this down." Gwaine heaved, dragging Merlin back down to the adjacent seat.
Merlin gritted his teeth at the thought of flying goblets, painful training sessions, and longer hunting trips.
"Arthur, it was one time and Merlin was dying and when I found out he was alive well I… I was just so grateful and happy." Gwen pleaded.
"You kissed him?"
Double shit.
Gwen bit her lower lip before glaring at Merlin for help, not having intended to make the situation worse for herself.
Arthur turned back to the table to put his head in his hands and mutter intensely to himself.
"So," Leon said between heavy breathes, "now we need the whole story, what happened?" he baited.
"It was nothing really!" Gwen desperately tried to explain "Merlin was dying because he had drunk some poison to save Arthur and when Arthur returned with the flower for the elixir we made a potion and waited all night for Merlin to awaken and then when he did I –"
Arthur shot up.
"I left Camelot for ONE DAY to save YOUR LIFE and you kiss MY WIFE!?" Arthur boomed pointing at Merlin.
"I didn't mean to. And may I add, I saved your life first!" Merlin suddenly realised what he said and immediately shut his lips tightly. The knights could not help cracking up once more as the king's face grew bright red.
In the end, there was no major disaster or threat. The festivities continued, the knights continued to bashfully share stories of heroic deeds, Gaius shot Merlin a quizzical glance once or twice. It was quite a joyous evening with a disaster of a different kind.
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The End
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Hahaha I hope you find this funny. I'm always surprised no one had really written about this, to me, it felt very obvious. Also, this is not a story/metaphor about chastity at all. I feel like Arthur is a bit of the jealous type and I thought it would be FUNNY if he found out they had kissed.
*I think of this like cooties or something. "and if you kiss you you will be cursed!" (queue silly screams) Please Merlin and Will are respectful men who would never kiss anyone without consent.