This story is a tag to the absolutely classic episode, 5.14 The One Where Everybody Finds Out. I hope you enjoy it.
Clear
"Alright, so that's it," Joey cheers, "It's over. Everybody knows!".
"Well actually, Ross doesn't," Monica reminds them. She's certain that now that the girls know about her and Chandler, the clock's ticking on Ross finding out too. They can manage it, but it'll need cautious handling to avoid a Major Ross Explosion all over her kitchen floor.
"Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet," Chandler adds.
Joey's face mulches into a glare.
"Please," Monica adds, fluttering her eyelashes at him (admittedly, this attempt at flirting to get Joey onside might work better if she wasn't clinging onto his best pal. But Chandler's just told her he loves her for the first time so she isn't letting go of him for anything).
"You know my terms," Joey reminds them, eyeing Monica lecherously.
"Dude, that's my girlfriend," says Chandler, and Monica almost keels over. "I love you," and "my girlfriend," in the same two minutes, in front of other people? Who is this man and what has he done with Chandler Bing?
Rachel must be able to read her mind, because she gushes, "Oh! He called her his girlfriend. You guys!"
"Yep, actually, could you give us a minute alone?" Monica adds, seizing the opportunity to get rid of their friends for a moment.
"Take the wine," corroborates Chandler, shooing Rachel, Joey and Pheebs away with his hand.
"And if Ross comes round, don't tell him!" Monica reiterates.
Chattering and cooing, the other three traipse out of the apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone. Monica immediately spins to face him, looping her arms back around his neck.
"I love you," Chandler repeats, smiling but sincere.
"I love you too," Monica beams back. He said it, he actually said it, and he didn't freak out or deny it a second later. He said it in front of their friends, over and over, and then to her. Now it seems he can't stop saying it, and Monica doesn't want to stop saying it back.
"I love you,"
"I love you,"
"I love you too," Chandler answers. He looks happier than Monica's ever seen him, goofy grin stretching across his face.
"I love how cute you are," she tells him. She'd do anything for that smile, but the strangest part of all is that she doesn't need to do much. It's easy for her to make him smile. He always seems happy around her, even when they're doing nothing in particular. And Chandler sometimes isn't such a happy person, the way he's so nervous and self-deprecating and stuck in his own head. It's astounding and, to be honest, disconcerting that even when she's barely trying, Monica can make him feel better. Overwhelming, too- obviously she's the boss, but she didn't ask for this much power over his emotions.
"We've gotta come up with reasons now?" Chandler clarifies, "Okay, well, I love you because of what we did in bed on Tuesday night,"
"Mmm," Monica purrs, bridling at the memory, and at the thought that the sex they're going to have tonight/later/right now, will be incredible. The explosive compatibility that's been since the first time, plus the intimacy growing for the past few months, plus now the fact that she can tell him she loves him during sex, over and over. She's wanted to tell him since he said it on Thanksgiving, so there's weeks of build-up waiting to be released…
"You wanna go and-" Chandler begins, obviously on the same train of thought, but he's interrupted by the door flinging open and Rachel, Joey and Phoebe tumbling back in.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't wait," Rachel babbles, "You guys: tell me everything,"
"Rachel!" Monica huffs, letting go of Chandler with one arm so she can face the others while still clutching on to him with her free hand. One of the most annoying parts of keeping this relationship a secret was that they kept being interrupted. Monica had assumed that if it was in the open, Rachel would know to keep out of the way. Though evidently she reckoned without her best friend's nose for gossip.
"Yeah, put a hose on it, you two. These two been at it like rabbits for months," Joey tells Rachel and Phoebe with an eyeroll.
Out of the corner of her eye, Monica sees Chandler swagger his shoulders smugly. She isn't sure if she should glare at him or giggle proudly.
"Wait, was this the guy from work? The one who was the best sex you ever had?" Rachel boggles. That had been months ago, not long after they got home from London and when they were still working out how to keep this a secret, and what "this" even was.
Monica elbows Chandler in the ribs before he has time to react with some kind of obnoxious idiocy.
"That was Chandler?" Phoebe gasps, "Maybe I should get my breasts back out,"
"You won't see me complainin'," chips in Joey.
"Chandler is the best sex you've ever had?" repeats Rachel. She jabs a finger in his direction.
"Can you repeat that a little louder, Rach? Maybe stand further towards the window when you say it," Chandler prompts.
"The Chandler? Our Chandler? That Chandler?"
"-or in Central Park, Times Square. You may wanna take an ad out in the New York Ti- ow!" Chandler winces as Monica pinches him. He's going to get insufferable if Rachel keeps giving him ammunition.
Thankfully Phoebe's there to bring him back down to Earth: "Best ever? I find that a little hard to believe,"
"I'm right here!" Chandler whinges.
"Well, he was sure to pick up a few tips from me," shrugs Joey, "So if you think about it, Mon, really you were sleeping with-"
"Can we stop talking about Chandler and I having sex!" Monica interrupts. It's not the sex talk which bothers her especially, but the fact that it's been two minutes since they came clean, and already everybody's prodding at and dissecting the relationship which until now was just for her and Chandler. Actually, perhaps it's not even that which is irritating her, but the fact that it's exactly what Chandler said would happen. Chandler being right is always infuriating.
"Yeah, we were hoping to be actually doing it. You know, not standing here talking about it," Chandler adds.
"We're not even gonna talk about the time you did twice in the coffee-house?" Joey interjects.
"A-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da!" Chandler babbles, trying to talk over Joey, though Monica still hears it. And that is the kind of sex talk which bothers her.
She rounds on him. "You told Joey?"
"Well, I didn't...it wasn't that I wanted to, he just…" Chandler stammers.
"In the coffee-house?" Rachel screeches, "Oh my God! Monica, you have to tell me,"
"See!" Chandler exclaims.
"No! Guys. They have to tell us everything, from. The. Beginning," emphasises Phoebe. She walks through the room to sit in Joey's BarCalounger, crosses one leg over the other and clasps her hands on top, like a child in a classroom awaiting instructions. Rachel goes over to Phoebe and leans her elbows on the top of the chair, and the two of them look at Monica and Chandler with an interrogating intensity which Monica knows she won't be able to wriggle away from. She feels Chandler shuffle apprehensively beside her. When she glances at him, he cringes, unsure of what and how much to reveal.
"Well it was, umm, Ross' rehearsal dinner-" Monica begins haltingly.
"What? This has been going on since Ross' wedding!" Phoebe shrieks, "Something else that happened in London that I wasn't there for!"
"You were pregnant," Rachel points out.
"And you were supposed to be taking care of me," Phoebe shoots back, "Let me tell you, guys, if I'd been there, we wouldn't have had to wait this long to find out about you two,"
"We were at the rehearsal dinner," interrupts Chandler, "And, uh-"
He cuts himself off. The truth is that Monica was upset and drunk, and that being halfway across the world made her reckless, and being away from Rachel gave her more time to ruminate on her own love life, which was pretty non-existent at the time. And Chandler was sweet and supportive, just like he'd been to her for years. Just like he's being right now, not wanting to tell all their friends how miserable and hasty she'd been that night in case she's embarrassed about it. He's so lovely, such a good guy, and what Monica wants to do now is ram her tongue down his throat and drag him into bed like she did that night in London, except this time they'll tell each other that they're in love.
But she can't.
"Things were a little tense because of Ross and Emily and everything," Monica adds, deliberately avoiding Rachel's eye, "We both felt weird and we'd had a lot to drink. One thing led to another and-"
"Ooh," Rachel gasps.
"Yeah," Joey leers.
Phoebe is baffled: "That's it? You had sex because you got drunk and felt weird?"
"Yes," Monica says firmly.
"And because she couldn't resist me," says Chandler, though nobody bothers to dignify this with a response.
"It seems like there's more to this story," Phoebe muses suspiciously. She can be astoundingly perceptive about stuff like that, and Monica sure that she'll wheedle it out of her later. But she doesn't want to get into the whole story now, not in front of Joey and especially not in front of Chandler. She hurries on:
"We had this amazing night, and when we got home we wanted to have more of those nights,"
"And days," cuts in Chandler.
"Yeah, and days," Monica agrees (because she'll allow herself a little boasting about how much sex they've been having, and how successfully they've managed it without anybody knowing).
"So you didn't have sex with Joey in London?" Rachel clarifies, "That was a lie?"
"And when I was in labour and you two were late," Phoebe realises, "You were actually-"
"There was no culinary fair in Jersey!" Rachel realises.
"And your kissing wasn't some European thing," accuses Joey.
"Joe, you've known about us for months," Chandler reminds him.
"It's taking me all that time to untangle your web of lies!"
"Wait wait wait, go back to London. Who kissed who first?" Rachel demands.
"A gentleman never tells," says Chandler, then adds in a stage whisper, "Monica did,"
"Chandler!" she reprimands.
"What? Now they know about us I can brag about my girlfriend, who is gorgeous and tidy and gives the best worst massages,"
He always knows just what to say. Well, he doesn't actually, but the things he does say are so endearing to her. Monica buzzes from the compliment- though she can't let Chandler know that.
"And whose fault was it that you couldn't tell them before?" she points out shooting him a sultrily accusing expression.
"Our totally joint and mutually beneficial idea to keep this a secret," he answers innocently.
"It was Chandler's idea," Monica tells the others, deadpan.
"You loved it," Chandler insists, and hearing him say "love" is one thing Monica can't ignore or pretend to be unimpressed by.
"I love you,"
"Love you too,"
He pulls her against him, and Monica snuggles in close as he rests his chin on the top of her head. She once told Chandler that, at least physically, he wasn't her type. Okay, she's always known that he's handsome, but Monica generally went for guys who were taller, broader and burlier. Chandler's boyishly cute, and Monica thought she preferred her men to be more...well, manly. Now, that thinking seems ridiculous. She's so close to Chandler so often nowadays that she's realised he's taller than she thought. She likes being wedged under his chin like this. He's got less scrawny in the last couple of years, too- highlighting his puny biceps earlier was only teasing because he has bulked up a little lately. And the Chandler who pins her against the wall and growls gruffly in her ear about what he wants to do to her, the Chandler who shows up in a suit to buy her fancy dinners, the Chandler who holds doors open and lends her his jacket in the cold, the Chandler who meets her eye with a fierce, cocky look before making her come harder than she ever has before...yeah, that Chandler is definitely manly enough for her.
"You two are cute," coos Rachel, "It's weird,"
"Now you see what I've been dealing with!" Joey exclaims.
"What's he like on a date, Mon?" Rachel demands.
"Does he pay for dinner?" asks Phoebe.
"Only for Joey," says Chandler, then realises how this joke sounds and mutters, "I heard it,"
"He's the best date," Monica recounts proudly, "We have tonnes of fun and we get along great and it's...I'm dating my best friend,"
The other three immediately explode.
"I'm sorry, best friend?" questions Rachel.
"I thought I was your best friend," interjects Phoebe.
"I call dibs on being Chandler's best friend!" Joey shouts.
"Dating one of our best friends," Chandler corrects.
Phoebe, who always has a nose for drama, presses: "Tell us about your fights!"
"Ooh, yeah. I love it when Monica's angry at someone who isn't me," says Joey.
"You and me both," deadpans Rachel, and they high-five.
"We may have fought a little," Monica admits.
Above her, Chandler snorts with laughter.
"Okay, more than a little, but we work it out," she elaborates.
"Chandler works out a fight with his girlfriend?" Rachel echoes, "Are we talking about the same Chandler?"
Monica doesn't know how to reply to that, because the truth is that he is different. This relationship has lasted longer than Chandler's been with any of his other girlfriends, and when he and Monica row they deal with it and move on, with only a little freaking out on Chandler's side. Though Monica isn't giving him all the credit: the fact is that she likes him and being his girlfriend so much that she's refused to let their arguments bring them close to a break-up. She should probably mention that to Chandler soon, just in case he's overlooked how many compromises she's made and how many battles she's had to choose to pick to ensure that this relationship doesn't crumble.
But that's a not-in-front-of-the-group conversation, so what Monica says instead is: "Well, the make-up sex helps,"
"You're allowed to talk about our sex life in front of everyone but I'm not," Chandler grouses.
"You'll tell Joey," Monica retorts.
"You'll tell Rachel,"
"And they'll both tell me," points out Phoebe, "I have everybody's secrets,"
"When d'you guys make it official?" Rachel quizzes..
"Yeah, when did you two fall in love?"
"Umm, I guess after the culinary fair and conference that wasn't a culinary fair or a conference," Chandler explains.
"Which question was that an answer to?" clarifies Rachel.
Chandler's head swivels frenziedly between Rachel and Monica. "The first one?"
"What about the second one?" interrogates Phoebe.
The apprehension gets too much for Chandler, and he performs his trademark twitch-flail-gargle. Monica still mostly finds that particular quirk of his annoying (wriggling around and jabbing his arms when he's stressing out only makes it more obvious that he's stressing out, which makes him feel more stressed out. How hasn't he realised that by now?) but she's still high on hearing him tell her he loves her, so this time watching him convulse gives her a rush of affection.
She smiles tenderly and brushes her hand against Chandler's sleeve. "I don't think there was a moment,"
Monica did not fall in love with Chandler. Falling happens suddenly, and while their initial hook-up was abrupt and unexpected, the feelings that developed weren't. Instead of falling, she sunk into love with him, the bond which had been there for years becoming deeper and softer and more all-encompassing. It wasn't one big moment but a thousand little ones: the way he took an apple from her fridge and tossed it to himself when they were finally alone back in New York. The spaceman pyjamas he lent her the first time she spent the night. The look of relief on his face when she told him they were okay after they argued in the hospital while Pheebs was in labour. The way he beamed when she spelt it out to him that they were in a relationship. The little packet of chocolates he bought her after their tumultuous weekend in New Jersey, because she said that she liked it when chocolates were left on the pillow. The joke he made about Fossella the morning after the mid-terms. The way he got upset at Thanksgiving because his emotions about the holiday are still so raw. The boggle of his eyes when she handed him the naked Polaroid of herself. The sound of him tapping his hands impatiently on his seat armrest because he was so excited for Cabaret to start when she took him to Broadway at Christmas. The nonchalant shrug he gave her when she told him they couldn't have sex for a few days because coming off the pill had messed with her periods. The way he told her her hair looked nice in bunches before their tennis match. The cuddle he gave her after he invented the Monica Award For Worst Massages. A thousand little moments.
"Rach, Pheebs, she's looking at him all mushy again!" Joey warns.
"Aren't you used to this?" Phoebe asks him, though Monica's distracted by gazing at Chandler and isn't paying the others much mind.
"But now I get to tell you guys about it! D'you know how many times she's looked at him mushy and I've had to pretend I didn't notice,"
"Yeah, thanks Joe. We put you into some sticky situations there," says Chandler.
"Guess it was worth it. You two can see how happy he is," says Joey.
"I noticed you had kind of a spring in your step lately," Phoebe tells Chandler, "I just thought there'd been a bowling shirt sale or something. Turns out that you're in loooove,"
Monica bridles contentedly: everybody can see that he's changed for the better, and now everybody will know that she's the reason why. She's made him this smiley, spritely Chandler, who perhaps doesn't dislike himself quite as much as he used to.
"Back up on love for a second," Rachel orders, "Have long have you liked him? Why didn't you tell me?"
Because she didn't think it was a big deal. Monica had phases of fancying Chandler a bit, but those feelings were usually easily dismissed by the fact that she didn't think he was really her type, and that he was aggravating, immature, twitchy, a bad boyfriend, self-pitying, sloppy, et cetera et cetera. She hadn't been kidding that day at the beach when she told him he wasn't boyfriend material. Plus, friends were off-limits, and Chandler was her best friend. She hadn't told Rachel because there was nothing to tell. And then London happened, and "nothing" went out of the window. And then New York happened and Chandler was still irritating and childish and clueless, but wonderful too, and this relationship has been absolutely spectacular.
"A little while," she murmurs to Rachel, grinning up at Chandler. She wants to make out with him, but the others are still here and Monica doesn't want them watching (and she knows from experience that Joey doesn't want to watch either). That part is private, it's just for her and her boyfriend to enjoy.
"And she didn't tell you because she didn't want to start a fight over me," says Chandler. It's a typical stupid Chandler joke, but he isn't looking at Rachel either. He's gazing back at Monica looking gorgeous and goofy. And then Monica realises how obvious the solution to making the others leave them alone is.
She tilts forward and kisses Chandler hard on the mouth. He responds instantly- they've always been in-sync like that, and of course he tastes delicious.
"Ugh, I don't wanna see that!" groans Joey.
"This is very strange," Phoebe marvels.
"I feel like I'm watching my parents," says Rachel.
Monica snakes a hand up to the nape of Chandler's neck and gently pulls at his hair, trying to tell him non-verbally to keep going, if they stay kissing then surely the others will get bored and wander off. He gets the message, or perhaps he just likes her tugging on his hair that way, because his tongue pushes her lips apart and delves into her mouth. She loves it when he does that, when he shows her how much he wants her.
"Well, now you know how it felt when it was you and Ross," Phoebe points out.
"I can just about imagine Ross and Chandler out of it and put Rach and Mon together," says Joey.
"What about me?" Phoebe protests.
"Oh, I'll put you in there two Pheebs," Joey promises quickly.
Monica really needs them to leave because the kisses are getting deeper and wetter, Chandler's clutching her tighter and soon it's going to get heady and intense and they won't be able to stop. Stopping has always been difficult- it's a miracle it's taken this long for the others to find out because she and Chandler haven't always been subtle. They just couldn't help themselves. He's fantastic at all this physical stuff- well, perhaps he isn't fantastic, judging by the surprise on his face about how easily she came the first few times they slept together, and how his bragging about being the best she's ever had was blatantly due to incredulity. Perhaps he's only fantastic with Monica, and that makes her feel even more pleased and turned on and special. It was her who could unlock this, it was only Monica Geller who could turn that jittery, awkward guy into a mind-blowing lover.
"They do this all day?" Rachel sighs.
"Pretty much," answers Joey, "Sometimes I go over to yours to give them space,"
"Don't you come to ours for food?"
"Yeah. Actually I'm kind of hungry now, Rach. You got any cookies or anythin'?"
And then, finally, Joey and Phoebe and Rachel leave. Monica feels Chandler wilt with relief, and then he detaches his mouth from hers.
"Oh my God," he breathes, "I thought they were going to stay here all day,"
"I know,"
"That was a smart move," he says, and stamps another kiss on her mouth. Then he grins and says, "I love you,"
"I love you too, Chandler,"
She slides her hands down his chest, fiddling with his sweater vest buttons and probing at his stomach.
"You feelin' okay about everybody knowing? I guess I kind of decided for the both of us," he says sheepishly.
"I don't mind," Monica tells him, which is true. Partly because she's accepted that she'll have to wait for Chandler to make decisions about their relationship. That's what he needs to feel safe, that's what it'll take to keep them together- but mostly because it was worth it to hear him tell her he loves her, "What about you?"
"Uh, I think I'm okay. Guess it'll take some time to get used to,"
"It'll be different at first, but we can get used to it together," she promises.
"I don't want them examining us," Chandler explains for the thousandth time, "Is that mean of me?"
"They didn't take it too badly," Monica points out, "They were pleased for us,"
She hopes she'll be able to say the same for Ross when they inevitably have to admit the truth to him.
"Yeah they were," Chandler beams, and Monica can detect a hint of the uncharacteristic trait she's recognised in him these last few months: self-confidence. Not fake arrogance for comedic effect. Not brief flashes of grating cockiness. Genuine, quiet self-assuredness. It looks good on him.
Monica slips her hands from Chandler's vest to his butt and squeezes. "So, I heard you were very pleased to be having all the sex tonight, and Phoebe doesn't seem to be here,"
"I could always call her back if you wanna get her involved too," Chandler suggests, though they both know it's a joke because he was flustered and befuddled and not at all turned on when Phoebe was trying to seduce him. And because Chandler isn't Joey.
"You wanna go get the rest of them again, be my guest. Or we could make the most of them leaving us alone,"
"The second one," Chandler deadpans, "Let's do the second one,"
"Mmm-hmm. That's what I thought,"
As Monica tugs on his vest to pull him across to his bedroom, she realises that now they can call it "making love". She's been too nervous to say that in front of him so far (even though their sex has felt like lovemaking plenty of times), and now "love" is out there, she can say it all the time. She can call him "my love," and "lover". She can start writing "Love from," in his cards again (this Christmas she chickened out and wrote "Best wishes," in his Christmas card, as if Chandler was her colleague or her hairdresser and not her best friend, the guy she'd been sleeping with for months, and the person she found herself sinking deeper and deeper in love with).
"Wait, Monica," Chandler says, stopping her, "You are gonna do Phoebe's dance for me, right?".
Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you thought of this story.