-11-
Eventually, the antagonism at school dies away.
But I don't stop with it. Even as Haru graduates and leaves the Last One and two new kids arrive. I work, and I work, and I work. I work until I can call my shadows to my arms and control them like two long, tentacle-appendages.
I work until I can smile all day at my teachers.
I work until I can smile without hesitation with my peers.
I work until I can smile as I throw away hand-scratched notes.
And then, at Yui-san's suggestion, I practice using my tentacle-appendages actually like appendages. Eating with them, writing with them, putting on clothes, and washing with them. I spend hours on homework, painstakingly drawing out letters and numbers with a pencil wrapped in a black, shadowy tentacle.
"Freak," Niko says as she walks through the kitchen with her things.
Akira says nothing, but she flinches when I glance their way.
"What, got nothing to say?" Niko asks her trunk-like nose curling viciously, like a cobra ready to jump out and strike.
"No," I answer honestly. I offer a smile.
She sneers and walks away. I continue working, sweat dripping down my brow. Akira hesitates to follow, and I glance up again.
"Shadows don't have specific shapes," she says softly, staring at the shadows incasing my arm. I stop, eyebrows furrowing, and she lowers her eyes and pulls at her fingers. "Kinda… Kinda like water. If… If I imagine a bubble, it is one, and if I imagine a disc, it does that too. But if I don't imagine anything, it does whatever it wants."
I open my mouth, not sure what to say, and she stares at the red scratches now permanently scared on my neck. Then she flinches, making a hasty retreat.
I close my mouth and put down the pencil.
If I imagine a bubble, it is one, and if I imagine a disc, it does that too.
I've never imagined my shadows as anything other than tentacles. I close my eyes and imagine them a disc, still careful to keep them tightly wound next to my body. I open my eyes, and I blink at the odd, disc-shaped tentacle protruding oddly from my hand.
And then I smile.
