Hello lovelies.

I apologize (again) for the late update. Real life has once again gotten in the way. My daughter had surgery. I had every germ that reared its ugly head. I filed for divorce. Pretty much if it was possible, it happened.

Holy Hannah that was the most enthusiastic bunch of reviews I have ever received. I think you guys also broke a record for follows and favorites! Woot! I am really excited because we are getting into some of my favorite chapters! You guys loved the first date and first kiss, but there are things to address!

So I know that I said that the only chapter that would be a split POV chapter was the anniversary of Alice's death but as I was starting to write this, I realized that just wasn't going to work. Because I couldn't just do it from Bella's point of view because Jasper's is so important for this chapter. So sorry for those of you who don't enjoy the split view but this is seriously one of the most intense chapters I will be writing.

The songs for this chapter are Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol (though I wrote to the Grey's Anatomy Cast recording of it. I love that acoustic sound) and Fix You originally by Coldplay but I did the cover by Boyce Avenue featuring Tyler Ward. I love those guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously, I might have to move into an ice cave after this.

Chapter Fourteen: Chasing Cars to Fix You

BPOV:

I squinted my eyes, peering through the windshield, trying to see past the torrential rains hitting my windshield. The weather was horrible and had it not been for my promise to pick Jasper up from the airport, I would be curled up in front of the fireplace with a book and a mug of tea. As it was, I had promised Jasper last night that I would come pick him up from the airport and then he would take me to dinner when he flew in today. He had been in New York taking care of some business with one of the many companies that he owned or had stocks in or whatever it was that the rich, undead did.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to see Jasper. I was excited to see him. Things had been so easy between us since that kiss and I enjoyed spending time with him whenever I could. It hadn't taken me too long to get over the worry and embarrassment I felt after that night. After our heated kisses, it had nearly killed me to tell him that I didn't feel right about sleeping with him yet. He was gorgeous and wonderful and wasn't telling me that he was worried about killing me -which in any other situation probably should have been a cause for alarm, but I think Jasper had more control than Edward did- and yet I couldn't help but feel like we were rushing things. It didn't feel right yet. I knew that Jasper wasn't the kind to just fall into bed with a woman but I had my reservations without a declaration of our feelings. And it was just too soon for that.

He'd been understanding and had even agreed. For a few days afterwards, I had been embarrassed when our kisses became passionate, worried that he was going to push me into something. It was a stupid fear and I realized that almost as soon as I acknowledged my fear. Jasper would never push me into anything that I wasn't comfortable with and he would know. He always knew. And so we settled into a routine, enjoying each other's company as always only with the added excitement of soft touches and shared kisses. It was an almost perfect existence and the only thing that could have perfected it would have been if it had been permanent and I knew how he felt about me. I knew that I wasn't just a 'bit of fluff' to pass the time but I also knew that not all relationships ended in happily ever afters.

So I was out driving in what had to be hurricane conditions -though that was not possible since Utah is landlocked- to the airport to pick him up. I had the windshield wipers running as fast as they could and I still could barely see anything out of my window. I briefly wondered if I shouldn't pull over and wait for the storm to pass or at least for the torrential rains to abate. But I knew that if I wasn't at the airport when Jasper got off his plane, he would worry and automatically assume the worst had happened to me and freak out. The aftermath of Jasper's worry was not a pleasant experience. It was like having him surgically attached to my hip and not always in a good way. So I kept driving, desperately trying to see through the wall of water pouring from the heavens. I occasionally saw brake lights and I would tap my brakes in response but I mostly just heard other cars passing me.

I heard the horn honking but I couldn't have told you where it came from. I looked around, desperately trying to find the source of the sound and I stepped on my brakes to try and avoid a collision should the car be in front of me. The next thing I knew there was a crash and blinding pain on my left side. Everything was black and hazy, moving in and out of focus. I could feel something digging into my side and pain in my head, but it was distant, foggy. I heard the sound of people shouting and horns honking and I tried to move my head around to find the source of the commotion but my head and neck weren't responding really. My head felt heavy and I could feel something hot sliding down my face and neck into my shirt. I was numbly aware of someone coming and talking to me, yelling around me but I couldn't seem to make my mouth respond. The words formed in my mind but they couldn't make it past my throat.

What happened?

There was blackness and then I felt myself being pulled from my car. The sharp pain that had been digging into my side was actually my car door. The window was shattered, as was the back. I remember wondering if Carlisle and Esme would be upset that I had wrecked the Audi they had given me but it was brief. People were poking and prodding me, shining a light n my eyes and strapping me to a stretcher. My vision was neon. Everything was too bright, too sharp. Except the sounds. Everything sounded fuzzy like I was hearing it from underwater or like they were at the other end of a very long corridor. I was vaguely aware of being moved but then I blacked out again.

Before I lost consciousness, I thought about Jasper's face when I wouldn't be there to pick him up.

Crap.

JPOV:

I stepped off the plane gratefully and pretended to stretch my neck and arms. It was such a natural part of the human charade now that I rarely had to think about it. It was almost second nature. I walked slowly, pulling my carryon bag behind me as I moved through the crowds towards security where I knew Bella would be waiting for me. I arms literally ached with the need to hold her and feel her warm, soft body and wet heartbeat against me. I'd only been gone a week but we'd talked every night on the phone and if it hadn't been for the fact that the man I normally put in charge of my business affairs was in the hospital having triple bypass surgery, I wouldn't have left her for something like business. But that was just the way the chips fell this time. I had flown to New York, completed my business in the speediest time possible and then hopped on the first plane out of the airport to Salt Lake City.

I looked for Bella as I approached the area that was deemed safe for people to wait. I listened for her heartbeat, sniffed for her blood but I felt my heart drop as nothing but alien smells and sounds assaulted. I looked out the windows and noticed the onslaught of rain that was pounding against the building. Maybe she was late because of the road conditions. I immediately began to worry about her driving in such conditions. No, she had to be here. She would have called if she had been unable to make it. She wouldn't have let me worry. Bella said that when I worried, I was like a dog peeing on a tree to mark its territory. She wouldn't have put me through this unless it was something important. I pulled out my phone and turned it on, waiting impatiently for the screen to light up and open on my menu. A new voicemail dinged and I pressed the send button and laid the phone to my ear.

"You have one new message. First unheard message," the voicemail voicebot told me before an unfamiliar voice came on the line.

"Hello Mr. Whitlock, this is Karen, I'm an ER nurse at University of Utah Medical Center. I'm calling because you are currently listed as the emergency contact for Isabella Swan. If you could give me a call as soon as you get this, we would appreciate it." Had my heart been beating, it surely would have stopped in that moment. I sped out of the airport and began to run, my carryon bag a forgotten nuisance behind me. In this rain, I had little chance of being spotted though in this moment, the only concern I had was for Bella. The U of U Medical Center was not the nearest hospital to the airport but it was a level one trauma center, which meant she needed the best and she needed it fast. The rain pounded against my skin as I sped through the streets of the city to the east bench of the Wasatch Mountains, a million scenarios running through my head of what could have happened to Bella.

I burst through the emergency room doors moments later, dripping water and frantically searching for Bella. The smell of blood didn't even faze me as people bled around me from all sides. I approached the desk frantically, barking out Bella's name and asking what had happened.

"Mr. Whitlock, I need you to calm down," the same voice from the voicemail said to me. I turned around and saw a short, woman with flyaway hair and a bloody surgical dress. I sniffed.

Bella. It was her blood.

"Where is she?" I asked through clenched teeth. Karen didn't seem to be frightened of my harsh tone.

"Miss Swan was in a car accident on I-215. A truck lost control and started hydroplaning and hit her car on the driver's side. She has several crushed ribs, several injuries sustained from broken glass, a broken arm and a crushed leg. Her hip was fractured but the doctor's are working on her now. She had a piece of glass enter her thoracic cavity and surgeons are working right now to remove it without piercing her heart or an artery." Her words swirled around my head. I was having trouble processing what she was saying.

"Was there any brain trauma," I asked weakly.

"She has a pretty bad concussion but it doesn't look like her brain was injured. Doctors are still waiting for her surgery to finish so they can continue to work on her. She lost a lot of blood and they've had to do two transfusions already. Meanwhile, if you'd like to sit in the waiting room, I'll keep you updated on their progress. Is there anyone I can call for you?" I shook my head and moved over to the waiting room filled with people who's loved ones had also suffered some sort of accident. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and hit the three on speed dial. He picked up on the first ring.

"Jasper?"

"Carlisle, you have to come. Now. Bella got in a car accident."

"What happened?" I quickly ran through all of her injuries, speaking so fast it was almost a buzz. Carlisle listened and I heard him grabbing a bag and instructing Esme to call the airport for the family jet.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few hours."

"Thank you," I whispered. He disconnected and I went bag to pacing, my hands pulling at the roots of my hair. I couldn't stand just sitting here while Bella was upstairs fighting for her life. Why had I agreed to let her come pick me up?! In weather like this, her vision was impaired and her reflexes were already humorously slow without the added strain of trying to see through this rain and control a car that was likely to hydroplane at any moment. I kept pacing, ignoring the concerned looks from the people around me. I tried to listen for Bella's heartbeat but there were so many humans in the building I had no way to differentiate. Nurses and interns came and updated me every hour and eight hours later, they finally announced that they had successfully removed the shard of glass from her chest and she was in recovery, still under the influence of the anesthetic. Despite my best effort to convince them to let me see her, they refused until she came out of the anesthesia. That didn't seem likely to happen since they planned on more surgeries for her arm and leg.

I was certain that if Carlisle hadn't shown up shortly after Bella got out of surgery, I would have gone mad. He arrived and approached a nurse about Bella. He told her he was Bella's primary physician and got her charts. I wasn't allowed to see them but he recited them to me after they'd been handed back. It was unbearable, knowing that Carlisle could see her, that she was only floors away from me, and being unable to see her.

I finally resigned myself to sitting in the waiting room after Carlisle told me that she had gone into surgery again after her vitals were stable. There was too much damage from the accident for me to expect a quick fix, despite my desire for it to be so. Carlisle scrubbed in on her last two surgeries, hoping to use his abilities to give Bella the best chance possible. I grabbed a cup of poor quality coffee from the cafeteria and pretended to sip it periodically until I heard news. I berated myself about letting Bella drive to get me. I didn't know what I would do if she didn't come out of this. I recalled and relived our relationship over and over in my mind, having different conversations, making different decisions. Our awkward friendship had grown from a mutual love of Alice to the strong, valued love we now shared.

I loved her.

The realization struck me like a bolt of lightning.

I was in love with Bella Swan.

And she didn't know.