I'm baaaaaack!

I absolutely love all of you! Seriously, I loved the reviews and the alerts! All of it! You guys make me so happy when you give feedback (and for those of you who are lurky readers, I love you too. I know you're there :D )

So I know that I kind of left you guys cliffied… sort of. Poor Jasper, he has not handled our poor Bella's recovery and accident well, has he. But then again, he's used to instant (ish) gratification. And it might have been better if he had been able to see her. The imagination is a dangerous place. I know I tend to think of the most drastic and horrible outcome when left to myself. Seriously, guys never tell me that you need to tell me something and then leave me hanging. I will assume the worst.

The song for this chapter is Awake by Secondhand Serenade. To be honest, I had Secrets by OneRepublic picked out and even wrote the chapter to Beethoven's 5 Secrets by the Piano Guys on repeat while I wrote because I loved the climatic build of the song but it didn't feel right. I knew there were songs that would work but I couldn't find any. Until, like a light bulb, I remembered that SS did some awesome builds like in a Twist In My Story (which I will have to use in another fic) and thus I stumbled across Awake and remembered how much I loved it and realized it was perfect for this chapter. Seriously, could the title be any more appropriate?

Disclaimer: I don't anything worth owning. I am noticing that I own an alarming amount of loose leaf paper, notebooks and binders with scrawled ideas on them. I think I need to see someone about that.

Chapter Fifteen: Awake

BPOV

My eyes felt heavy.

The rest of my body felt weighted with lead. My head was fuzzy as I struggled to tell my eyes to open. I could hear mumbled whispers near me and a slow rhythmic beeping.

A familiar beeping.

The room smelled of heavy astringent and that other harsh scent that makes up a hospital. Germs, perhaps? It was a smell that I was overly familiar with. Why was I in the hospital? My mind was having trouble lifting itself from the heavy fog of what I assumed were pain meds. I thought back as far as my memory would take me.

I was going somewhere… in the car.

The airport. I was going to the airport.

Why was I going to the airport?

I remembered blearily that it had been raining, torrentially. My visibility was poor. I was driving through the rain and then I heard the horns honking.

Oh God.

I had been in an accident.

It all flooded back into my head. The car hitting me on the side, crushing my leg and arm. The pain in my head. The hot, metallic smell of blood as it coursed down my face and neck before seeping into my shirt; the bleary voices of the paramedics; the feeling of floating that I experienced before my eyes shut and I fell into a dark slumber. Why had I been driving in rains that impaired my vision? What could be important enough to risk it? If Jasper found out…

Jasper.

Jasper!

My eyes flew open and I blinked them rapidly to try and dispel the blurriness and sharpen my focus. The white tile ceiling stared down at me. I looked around frantically, my neck confined to the bed. I began to panic as I realized I couldn't move my head, arm or leg. I felt like my chest had been crushed by an anvil, the weight of the world pressing on my heart. I heard the monitors began to increase in my alarm before the sound of chair legs scraping against tile registered and suddenly there he was.

His blonde hair was in complete disarray with the look of fingers abusing it frequently. His eyes had shadows under them and were the dark golden that was almost onyx and filled with panic and worry and finally relief. He pressed a cold hand to the side of my head and I nearly cried in relief. The small smile of relief that curved his lips calmed my racing heart and I reached for him with my unobstructed arm.

"Hey," he said softly, smiling and looking over every inch of my face worriedly.

"Hi," I rasped out, my throat thick with morphine and disuse.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a bus. And then trampled by rhinos. And then abused by elephants."

"Do you remember what happened," he asked gently.

"I was coming to get you. It was raining and I could barely see. I heard horns honking and then I was hit. Everything after that is a little fuzzy."

"You ran a red light on Bangerter Highway. A truck hydroplaned into you. You were in pretty bad shape. They LifeFlighted you here to University of Utah Medical Center. You've been in and out of surgery for almost three days. There was a piece of glass near your heart. And your leg was broken in several places, as well as your arm. You cut your head open and got pretty bad whiplash," he said seriously, grabbing my good hand and squeezing gently.

"Wow, you make it sound like I almost didn't make it," I said, half joking. His face remained somber.

"You almost didn't," said a familiar voice after Jasper remained silent for several minutes. I moved my eyes over to meet Carlisle's smiling face. I smiled at him.

"Carlisle, what are you doing here?" He smiled and came closer, checking my monitors.

"Jasper called me. And for good reason, too. The surgeons here are very talented but your injuries were extensive and I was able to lend my skills and expertise to helping to save your life."

"I guess I should thank you," I said quietly. He patted my shoulder.

"No thanks needed. We would all be devastated if anything happened to you, Bella." He patted my shoulder one last time and then nodded to Jasper and left, mumbling something about calling Esme.

I looked back to Jasper, who was staring at me like if he took his eyes off of me for a second I would disappear.

"Say something," I mumbled after a few minutes. He was probably angry. I was clumsy in the most perfect of conditions and to risk myself in such imperfect conditions was sure to merit some frustration at the least.

"Bella, I… That was… Do you have any idea what I would have done if you had died? What I would have become?" My eyes widened and I shook my head almost imperceptibly, as much as the neck brace would allow. He swallowed and clenched his eyes shut as though fighting back tears I knew could never fall. His hand gripped mine and I stared into face, concern and worry flooding into my heart and making my tense up. He opened his eyes and stared into mine for several minutes.

Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed my lips, holding my head softly as his lips brushed over mine passionately and I could feel it. I could feel every ounce of worry and heartache he had felt while he waited for the doctors to fix me, to save me. I felt the frustration and self loathing he had experience while he punished himself for putting me in a position where I had become injured. But what surprised me most was that I felt the strong, ardent adoration and love that seemed to pour out of his heart and race through his veins like fire, hot and all consuming, changing everything in its path. This love engulfed him, ached to be free, to shine out of his pores and consume me and everything around us.

I did the only thing I could when faced with such a stunning discovery. I opened myself up and let him feel it, that same glowing fire that raced through my veins at the mere thought of him, the love that threatened to engulf me in delicious flames and flared whenever his skin brushed against mine. I poured out all the trust and respect that I had for him, the extreme gratitude that I had that he had willingly opened himself to me and helped me not only heal, but find my truest friend and confidant, the man that I would die for. I let him feel the deep stirrings in my gut that seemed to run straight to my heart, charging it with insatiable desire and need.

He groaned into my mouth as we kissed to the sound of my heart monitors going on the blitz. My good arm wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close as he could get with an arm encased in plaster and a leg done up the same way and elevated. His hands moved to my waist, squeezing gently, before pulling towards him. I gasped in pain and broke our kiss, my breath labored from the pain mingled with the strength of feeling that was flowing through me.

"Sorry," he whispered, brushing his fingertips lightly over my hip. "I forgot to mention you hurt your hip." I chuckled breathlessly at the beautiful smile that graced his face. In this moment, he almost seemed to glow with elation. I smiled at him and we both laughed softly. He brushed his fingers over my forehead, brushing hair back and behind my ear. Goosebumps trailed down my arms and legs, heightening my senses.

"I love you," he whispered before brushing his lips softly against mine.

"I've been waiting for you to say that," I teased before reclaiming his lips.

"And," he asked, his face mere millimeters from mine.

"Well…," I said, trailing off and looking thoughtful. He pressed his lips to mine forcefully and once he was finished, I smiled and brushed my fingertips over his cheekbone. "It was superior to perfect," I whispered. He smiled and mirrored my actions, brushing the back of his fingers over my cheek.

"I worried I'd lost you," he whispered, resting his forehead against mine. I sighed, drinking in this moment.

"Never," I whispered. "I will never leave you." He stared at me and then kissed my nose.

I pulled him over onto my good side and he stretched out on the hospital bed next to me, draping his arm gently across my obviously injured ribs and pressing soft kisses into my hair. My good arm was over his, our fingers tangling in a perfect blend of soft and hard, warm and cold, his thumb brushing over mine. I hummed contentedly and felt sleep begin to pull at the edges of my consciousness.

"Jasper," I mumbled as slumber began to creep in and engulf my thoughts.

"Yes, darlin'?"

"I love you, too," I whispered and felt him chuckle and press a light kiss to my forehead.

"About time you said it," he whispered and I drifted off to sleep with a soft smile on my face and the unmistakable scent of bliss surrounding me.