I hide in the silence of the empty maintenance room until the fight against glasses begins. I can hear Present Mic even through the walls, his voice echoing and ringing until in obnoxious passion. He wails and screams about Midoriya and Todoroki with excitement. Part of me feels relief when he calls a hold to fix the arena. Most of me just wants to burn.
This is Takidori, Yui. Leave your name, number, and whatever you want after the tone.
I pull myself up and walk back out when Present Mic's voice calls for the next round.
The arena looks just the same. The crowd is the same, the stands the same, Midnight glances worriedly in my direction just the same. The overwhelming emotions, the fire in my blood, the same.
Glasses stares at me from across the arena with the same look of determination as the blonde. I can't find it in me to care.
"Begin!"
He races left, the same, and I catch him, the same. Only, this time, when the claw tosses him away, he flips mid-air, engines roaring in his legs, and returns.
I dodge and swipe, shadows swirling in the air between us to knock him back. He takes the hit, blocking it with his arms, and skids away on the pavement. And then he looks at me. I meet his eye, and he frowns.
"Hoki-san," he says, straightening. "Have you been crying?"
Anger rises, aggressive and bloodthirsty.
What do I have to cry for?
What, you want us to watch?
"No."
Shadowy arms stretch forth in the space between us, slipping and sliding against the ground. A snake, curling and crawling on the pavement. It rears back, tongue flaming. It strikes. He dodges back and I reach forward, the tendrils following suit.
"Did-" he huffs as he runs, "Who- hurt-?"
I sneer.
"I told you," I tell him angrily. "I'm fine."
He takes a blast, blocks it, and has to shake off the claws scratching at his sleeves.
"You're crying."
I wipe my face and it comes back wet with tears. I glare at the liquid. The anger intensifies, the fire burns hotter, and black flames engulf my figure. The liquid disappears in the heat.
"WHAT'S THIS? A NEW MOVE FROM HOKI? SHE'S COMPLETELY ENCAPSULATED IN BLACK FLAMES! MAN, ERASERHEAD, WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING THESE KIDS?"
"I hate you all," I tell him, pulling back my shadows. They swirl around me in a sudden cyclone, winds howling with claws and fangs and fiery tongues. Then it stops—a black cocoon. It cracks and from inside a thousand snakes burst forth, heads waving and tongues flickering.
The boy's face is horrified, his breath coming in short gulps, his eyes wide.
"AND HOKI HAS MANIFESTED SNAKES… THAT IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING…"
I glare at the box before turning back to my opponent. I throw my hands forward and the snakes descend at once. All one thousand.
The crowd screams.
Glasses shouts. Then (like they all eventually do) he runs.
He jumps and twists, kicking at the snakeheads, racing them, dodging them. He circles the platform, running against the edge as fangs and flaming tongues snap at his heels. I turn with him, fingers willing them to attack, to make him bleed.
He finds an opening and races towards me. I dodge back. His face determined. Eyes narrowed; lips thin. As if he has a purpose. As if any of this has a purpose.
It infuriates me.
"Hoki-"
"SHUT UP!"
I thrust my hands forward and black, shadowy fire streams out. He dodges, just barely. it leaves black soot and melted concrete in its trail.
"UH, HEY NOW, THAT… THAT LOOKED DANGEROUS…"
The snakes retract into tentacles and thin into something smaller, thinner—spider silk. It's the kind of nightmares, the kind you're afraid to walk into. They weave everywhere, crisscrossing the field. Glasses wheezes, his feet caught between them. He kicks through several, breaking them into black vapor. I squeeze my fist and pull inward.
Like a cat's cradle, collapsing, the shadowed threads surge inward. He tries to jump, but it's too late. He can't stop it. I wrap him in the nightmare, trapping his arms and feet. He stares wide-eyed in surprise.
Part of me isn't done.
Part of me wants him to burn.
You're not a hero, you're a fucking villain.
It takes all of my will to smother the flames. I heave and toss him from the ring. He hits the ground and I swallow the blackness down my throat. It's harder than before and I clutch at my flashlight as I do. Claws drag through the cement; fingers pull at my clothes. I choke as I force them back.
And when I'm sure I have them, I leave. Glasses calls for me from the sidelines. I pretend not to hear. I go inside to wait.
.
.
.
Glasses, despite the loss, finds me with relative speed. Is it his quirk or his determination? I don't know. I don't care. I don't want to.
"Hoki-chan!"
I ignore him.
Go away.
"Hoki!"
The hand on my shoulder is strong, calloused, powerful. A hero's hand. Daddy's jaw as it snaps. My brother's screams. Fuck heroes. Fuck your stupid quirk. Go be one if you want, it's not like you ever did shit for us anyways. I spin and glare.
"Go away!"
"Hoki-"
"Leave me alone!"
"What's wrong?" he asks, glasses flashing and blue eyes pleading.
"Why do you care?"
He flinches, stung.
"I'm your class rep," he says. The usual cockiness is gone. "I… I didn't want to lose today. I tried my best to win, but as the class rep, my responsibility should come before my pride. It's my job to care."
I laugh. The sound cruel and bitter.
"Your job," I mock. I've never spoken to anyone like this. I can't stop it as it pours out. "Go away. I don't need you. I don't need anyone."
He stares.
"Hoki?"
"I nearly killed you," I spit, not understanding why he's still here. "So just, just go away!"
His mouth drops open and I can't stand the look in his eyes. I can't stand the sheen.
"No!" he says, fists clenching at his sides. "I'm going to be a true hero, like my brother! I won't run when others are hurting. I'm not going anywhere!"
I shake at his stubbornness.
"Leave or I'll hurt you," I manage, voice shaking too.
"Is that what you're worried about?" Glasses asks. He grabs my shoulder and twists me back around. I stare at my own reflection in his lens. Pale-faced, with dark hair messily hanging about. Tears cut lines through dirty cheeks. "You would never hurt me! This is a tournament! We're supposed to give it our all! You faced a real villain with injuries to protect Aizawa-sensei! You protected Asui-chan and Midoriya-kun from his quirk-"
"I lost control!" I shout.
He stills.
"Wha-"
"I didn't protect anyone," I snap at him. "I wanted to hurt that monster. Today, I wanted to hurt you!"
"Hoki, you're not-"
"You know nothing about me. You have no idea what I've done! When I was five, I robbed gas stations with my mother," I say, the words taste like knives in my mouth. He stumbles back, hand retreating, eyes wide. "I watched them cower, I covered them with shadows, and mother threatened to kill them if they didn't hand over the cash."
My eyes and nose are both leaking.
"So say it again, tell me you care," I tell him viciously swiping at my face.
I turn my back. I don't want to see him leave.
I'm tired of watching them leave.
But he doesn't. He crosses the space between us, thick, sweaty arms grabbing my shoulders. He turns me around, body bent low, face set, glasses gleaming. I blink at his watery eyes.
"I care."
My mind stutters to a halt.
For a moment, I can't breathe.
"W-W-What?"
He pulls me forward, crushing me against his chest. I stiffen in the embrace, my face pressed against his sweat-coated shirt, huge, strong hands pressed against my back. He smells like soap and exhaust. It feels like if he lets go, I'll fall apart right here.
"Hoki-san, as your classmates, it's our job to care!"
I can't help myself. All of the pent-up anger, all of the pain, the unanswered phone, the cold stares, it all erupts out in heart-wrenching sobs. My body aches, my throat burns, and a weight settles in my throat as my knees go weak. I fall to the floor and Glasses falls with me, his knees hitting the wood before mine, his voice soft as he rocks me in his arms.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I should have noticed."
I cry harder.