Buffer quietly knocked on the door before stepping into the small room. He didn't miss the days of junior sailor's quarters. Spider was stretched out as much as he could be on his short bunk, face down, pillow clutched over his head.
"Spider," Buffer closed the door behind him.
"I'm not on duty for another hour. Leave me alone." Came the muffled response.
Buffer stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Just checking in on you. You alright?"
"I'm fine." Spider kept the pillow over his head. He sounded despondent.
"Okay," Buffer settled his gaze on Spider's back. "I might believe you if I could see your face."
Spider made a sniffling sound from under the pillow and didn't reply.
"C'mon, Spider. There's no sulking allowed in the Navy."
"Fuck off, Buffer," muttered Spider into his pillow.
"What did you just say?" Buffer kept his voice hard but had to keep himself from smiling. If Spider was swearing at him, it meant he was starting to feel better. Anger was a surefire way to snap a junior sailor out of their self-pity. "Say that to me again and see how fast you'll be on your knees scrubbing the corridor with a toothbrush." He threatened.
Spider flung the pillow off his head and in one swift motion flipped over so he was laying on his side. He looked up at Buffer and Buffer saw his tear-streaked face and damp eyelashes.
"Jesus Christ, Spider, you can't let them get to you," Buffer's voice was gentle but he was serious. If Spider let himself get this frustrated by some good-natured insults, then he wasn't going to last long on board.
"I know. I know! But they won't stop taunting me about it. It's been an entire week of having to put up with this shit…the other guys think it's hilarious but it's driving me crazy." Spider's voice got louder as a new wave of frustration washed over him.
Buffer motioned for Spider to sit up and then took a seat beside him on the bed.
"Look, don't let yourself get so worked up about it. Go do some push-ups or something. Burn off your anger in a productive way next time. Hiding in your rack isn't going to do anything for you." Buffer gave him the advice that had always worked for him.
"Easy for you to say. You already have your mates. You and Charge and Swaino are above all of this. You don't have to deal with the constant mocking all the time."
Buffer nodded. He did remember what it was like to be young and new on a ship, to be surrounded by a new crew and to have to fight for your place in the pecking order.
"Who did this to you? Who has so much power that they've caused you to fall apart with only their words?" Buffer meant his question to illustrate the fact that words meant nothing, that insults could bounce off you all day; but he also needed to know if there was a bully in this new batch of junior sailors so that he could keep an eye on them.
"It's not just one person, it's everyone! This entire ship hates me!"
Buffer couldn't help chuckling at how dramatic Spider sounded. "Alright. I'll put everyone on gash duty then, to teach them a lesson."
Spider looked at Buffer, taking a moment too long to figure out whether Buffer was joking.
"It's a joke, Spider. I'm not getting involved in this." Buffer smiled at Spider and patted him on the back. "You need to get a hold of your emotions and learn what works best for you. When I was younger it was physical activity that helped me clear my head. For RO, he reads books to help him calm down. Charge putters around the engine room to forget a bad day. Figure out how you're going to deal with it."
"I'll try," Spider sighed.
Buffer stood up and walked to the door. He turned to look back at Spider as the younger man stood up and stretched.
"Hey, it's only four days until we're back in Cairns and then you can forget these dickheads for a few days." He grinned at Spider.
"True enough." Spider finally cracked a small smile as he followed Buffer into the corridor.