A/N: Does it count as a blanket fic...?
For what it is worth it's a gift for Cstorm86.
Nominated for Feudal Connection's 1st Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Award for Best Ficlet. If you want to vote on it, the voting will take place between 30th of June and 15th of June 2019 - all info can be found on feudalconnection on tumblr. Thanks for nomination!
InuBlanket
CALL NOW!
Do you get cold at night? Do you can't relax? Do you have trouble falling asleep or waking up? For those and many more problems you might be facing we found a wonderful solution!
InuBlanket!
It's the first blanket of this type. Forget about wool blankets or electric ones. Our impressive InuBlanket runs on Ramen! Yes, you read it right - you can charge its battery with Ramen (or any type of not spicy food, he's not picky)!
He won't take up space where you don't need him, he will just fold himself against the wall of your room or sit in any place of your choosing.
Forget about hauling him out to air him - he does it himself! The same goes for cleaning! It's truly a self-maintaining blanket that will transport you into the next century and life of comfort and pleasure!
So he's low maintenance and pretty portable, but how and for what can I use my InuBlanket? Oh, the possibilities are countless!
Let's say you have problems falling asleep, never finding a comfortable position. With our InuBlanket you can forget about that! You put him in your arms and wrap your legs around him and it will immediately start the Purr Sequence that will lull you to sleep! You prefer to relax your muscles before going to sleep? You can do it with our InuBlanket without a problem! Just plug his Massive Extension into your port hole (or your secondary port) and it will automatically start the Grrr Program that will last until you can't keep your eyes open and/or you get hoarse from voicing your pleasure with our product!
You can also lay on your back and get your legs stretched while exploring the joys of the Grrr Program!
But wait, there's more! You can experience the same amount of blind bliss by applying the InuBlanket on top of you while laying on your back or in any other configuration you can think of - he will gladly oblige any command!
Your InuBlanket will start all the aforementioned sequences with a Foreplay Sequence, unless commanded otherwise. After finishing the program InuBlanket will automatically switch to Cuddling and Nuzzling Purr that will surely be to your liking!
Sometimes InuBlanket can get a bit grumpy. To appease him you need only to apply the Good Doggie program (it's advised to do it on your bed or any other soft surface, because InuBlanket by default switches to the Fuck Till Tomorrow program) You can also play with his ears or put the Massive Extension in your mouth to make the InuBlanket happy and inclined to do whatever you want him to.
With a voice recognizing software you can adjust the intensity of the experience! From the low level of Slow and Loving, through the medium Hanyou Delight to the hard and fast Fuck Till Tomorrow. If you want you can make your InuBlanket go the extra mile and unleash the FullYoukai Knockout (this one works best with the user on their stomach)!
Your InuBlanket can be very loud during usage (and at some other times, but you'll sort things out), but you can greatly decrease the noise level by starting the Madly Kissing and Licking app.
Let's say you have problems waking up. You can program your InuBlanket to fit your schedule and be woken up every day (or multiple times during the night) by a sensual massage of specified areas accompanied by a refreshing and energizing Morning Romp, InuBlanket's special Alarm.
If you don't like planning, you can put the InuBlanket on Random Quickies Mode and enjoy a sensual massage throughout your day and night without having to worry about programming anything. Just let your InuBlanket please you! To spice things up your InuBlanket will switch randomly between programs and intensity levels.
You can also safely use your InuBlanket in water. With a little prompting he can also help wash your hair and back - but expect that the Bathroom Boner when you rub against his Massive Extension. Don't worry, it's not a malfunction! Plug it in and enjoy your bath!
You can take your InuBlanket anywhere with you and be sure he will take you there as many times as you wish! Our special InuBlanket can even literally carry you and you baggage there first (the option might require the use of one of the appeasing techniques)!
Remember, no other blanket can keep you warm and relaxed, help you stay flexible and fit, but also protect you! And it's all in one handsome package with attached dog ears for rubbing, long silver hair for pulling and brushing, golden eyes for looking into while enjoying one of the InuBlanket's many programs and a body of a skilled warrior to keep you happy. And don't forget the Massive Extension which comes in one size - LongThick&IronHard!
Specially for your enjoyment our product has an unlimited Again! feature that will surely provide you with hours upon hours of mindless bliss with your InuBlanket. And the increased use won't translate to increased need for refilling his batteries. His Massive Extension will be up and adamant hard with a few strokes of a gentle hand or a few dirty words breathed into his furry ear. Why is it? In our product we use just the best of two races, joining the Human Sensitivity with Youkai Stamina to bring you the best possible pleasure!
The InuBlanket is created only for you, with your pleasure in mind. It won't work for anyone else, but if you want to spend some time on it you might program him to launch a Threesome Tornado program. The InuBlanket's priority is your happiness, safety and comfort!
But there's more!
If you call us for your own InuBlanket right now you will get a special package of accessories you can put on yourself or on your InuBlanket for free!
Warning: the InuBlanket can cause a major depletion in your wardrobe, especially underwear and nightclothes. It's suggested you don't wear any around your InuBlanket. Don't worry about the cold - he can keep you plenty warm.
So, what are you waiting for? Call us to get your very own - and already ready to please you - InuBlanket!
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Kagome dropped her romance book she had wanted to finish in bed this Sunday evening and in which she had found the sheet of paper with the enticing offer. She leaped off of her bed and opened her window.
"Inuyasha!" she called and before she even finished the name of her favorite hanyou, he leaped to the windowsill, his eyes shining with mischief.
"Remember, we don't accept returns," he said before starting the Soft Kiss application.
A/N: Should I be proud or embarrassed?