Chapter 3

Sunday dawned clear and bright without a cloud in the sky. Nick whistled as he rode into town, impatient to get there and see Ava for the first time in what seemed like forever. He pulled up in front of the boarding house, but before he could step down from the wagon, the door was opening and out walked Ava. Nick smiled broadly and ran up the steps to take her into his arms.

"What a site for sore eyes!" he said.

They got back into the buggy and began talking nonstop on their ride back. They had missed one another so much. After church the family all had lunch together, then Nick and Ava went for a walk, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company.

Nick had noticed when he picked Ava up in town that she seemed pale, like she did the night they had gone to dinner the first time. He hadn't asked her then if something were wrong, for fear of intruding, but he had no such qualms about it now.

"Are you feeling alright, Ava?" he asked, watching her face.

"Of course," she said. "Why, don't I look like I feel fine?"

"You just look a little pale. Could you be coming down with something?"

Ava sighed. "I have been feeling tired lately. But being here with you is just what I needed," she said as she moved closer to him. Nick smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

They walked on for a while then returned to the house, finding that everyone was involved in their own pursuits. Victoria had gone upstairs for an afternoon nap; Heath and Audra had gone for a ride and Jarrod was working in the library. Nick and Ava sat in the parlor on the sofa, talking in soft tones. Nick's mind went to what they could be doing if they were married. Lazy Sunday afternoons were the days he looked forward to most when he thought about marriage. The week could be busy, the days passing quickly. But Sundays seemed to last a long time and Nick's thoughts were on what he would like to be doing right now with Ava. If things went as he planned, then in a few months' time, he would be spending Sunday afternoons in her arms.

Ava was having a marvelous time, but she admitted to herself that she wasn't feeling well. Her stomach had been bothering her again. She hadn't had any problems with it in over a month, but in the last week, she had had two episodes of severe pain. Thankfully, both had been while she was in her room and not at work. She didn't even want to think about having to pay for dropping an entire tray of food.

Ava excused herself from Nick to take care of her personal needs. She was walking up the stairs when she doubled over in pain. Jarrod had just come into the foyer and noticed her.

"Nick!" he called, and Nick came running.

He ran to Ava and asked, "Ava, honey, what's wrong?"

"Nick," she gasped out. "It hurts!"

Nick picked her up in his arms and took her upstairs, with Jarrod on his heels. He carried Ava to his room and gently placed her on the bed. Victoria had heard Jarrod's alarmed cry and came to find out what was wrong. Nick asked Jarrod to go for the doctor and he left immediately.

Ava groaned again but could feel the pain receding. She lay there feeling weak and her face was pale. Nick was leaning down next to her, holding her hand.

"Ava?" he called her name softly.

She opened her eyes and tried to smile at him but didn't quite make it.

"Ava, Jarrod's gone to get the doc," Nick assured her. She nodded but held on tighter to his hand. Victoria brought a small basin of cool water and a washcloth. Nick took the wet cloth from her and began wiping Ava's brow. She seemed to relax at his touch.

The doctor finally arrived and shooed everyone from the room. Nick waited just outside the door, listening to the voices but not able to understand what was being said. Jarrod and Victoria, who were joined by Heath and Audra after their ride, waited with him.

After about an hour, Doctor Merar opened the door and said that Ava was asking for Nick. He walked in and found her still looking pale. He sat down on the bed next to her.

"Are you all right?" he asked. She turned her head to the wall to hide her tears and Nick looked to the doc for an explanation.

"Nick, I've examined Ava and have found a growth inside her. That's what's been causing the pain. She's had other episodes like today and they've become more frequent the last few months. I've seen this before, and I'm sorry..."

Nick looked at Ava who was still facing the wall. He turned again to the doc. "What are you saying?"

Doctor Merar sighed. "Given the size of the growth and the pain Ava is in, I'm afraid her condition is terminal."

Terminal? What a horrible word, Nick thought.

"How long?" he whispered.

"Two maybe three-"

"Years?" Nick asked in alarm. The doctor shook his head.

"Months."

Ava started crying, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Nick looked at the doctor as though he were crazy. His mind was trying to comprehend what it was hearing while his heart was in severe pain. No! His mind screamed. No! This cannot be happening.

"Can't you do something? Perform surgery or-"

The doctor shook his head. There was no surgery for this kind of condition. He had no doubt that there would be some day, but like he had said, he had seen this before and it was always fatal.

Nick refused to accept what the doctor was saying. He stood up, the anger in his eyes clearly showing the Doc that Nick would not accept this without a fight. The doctor sighed and waited for the eruption he knew would be coming.

"I refuse to believe that there is nothing we can do. We'll go to San Francisco and see a specialist there. We'll find a way to help her!"

Ava had been listening to the conversation and turned to look at Nick when he said they would find another doctor. She sat up, or at least tried to and reached out to put a hand on his arm. Nick turned to look at her and sat back down. Doc Merar took this as his chance to leave. He walked out into the hallway and waited with the family while Nick and Ava discussed this in private.

"Nick, I can't afford to go to San Francisco to see another doctor."

"I'll pay for it," Nick said decisively.

"Nick! I can't allow you to do that. It could be very expensive!"

"I don't care!" Nick almost yelled. He grabbed her by the arms, holding her in a firm, but gentle grip. In a softer voice he said, "Ava, I just found you. I'm not going to lose you now. We've got to do whatever we can to help you beat this!"

Ava's eyes filled with tears. She shook her head, bringing her hands up to her face and sobbed. Nick held her, rocking back and forth, whispering soothing words. Finally, Ava sat up again.

"Nick, we can't beat this."

"Ava," he pleaded.

"No! Nick don't you understand? There is no cure! This is how my mother died. I watched it happen. I was only 5 at the time, but I remember it so clearly. Dr. Merar is right, Nick."

"Can't we just go to a specialist in San Francisco, Ava? Please? For me, would you agree to go? I'll take care of everything. I can't let you go, knowing that I didn't at least try," he begged her.

Ava knew there would be no help for her in San Francisco, but she hated seeing the hurt look on Nick's face. For his sake, she nodded her head in agreement. He held her closely again for a long time. When he realized she had fallen asleep, he set her back down gently.

He rose and walked downstairs. He found the doctor and his family waiting for him in the parlor. His mother's and Audra's eyes were red from crying. Jarrod and Heath stood near the fireplace, looking solemn. Nick guessed from their demeanor that Dr. Merar had already filled them in. He was grateful because he didn't feel like explaining everything.

"Doc, I know you said there's no cure, but Ava has agreed to go and see a doctor in San Francisco. Maybe there's been some advances in this that you don't know about and someone else can help us." The words were said with a bit of an edge.

If Dr. Merar had not known Nick for all his life, he might have been insulted. However, he had seen the love that this young couple had for each other and felt as if he had single handedly destroyed their world. Ava had told him that her mother had died from the same condition and he hoped that she was not filled with a false hope. More than likely, she was doing this just for Nick and his respect for the young woman grew.

"Of course, Nick," was all he said out loud. Everyone else saw the doubts on the doctor's face.

Nick nodded his thanks to the doctor and then walked out of the room. He went straight to the library and poured himself a strong drink. He drank it in one gulp then poured himself another. He was on his third glass when Victoria walked in. She watched him for a moment and then spoke.

"Nick, do you really think a doctor in San Francisco can help?"

"I have to try," Nick said, draining his glass.

"What about Ava?"

Nick looked over at his mother in confusion. He was doing this for Ava. Didn't she understand?

"If Ava only has a few months to live, I'm sure she doesn't want to spend that time seeing doctors who will only tell her the same thing she has been told today."

Nick set his glass down, none too gently, showing Victoria her middle son was barely holding in his frustration. She didn't want to hurt him further, but she knew he needed to realize what a trip to San Francisco could mean. It could raise false hopes that would just be dashed, and Victoria wondered if Ava could take that. Or Nick for that matter.

"I'm going upstairs to sit with Ava," he said as he walked past her. She sighed, knowing that now wasn't the time to try and convince him to change his mind. She only hoped that Ava would be able to help him see that this wasn't the best course of action.