Chapter 6
When Ava awoke, she found Nick sleeping by her side. She wasn't sure how long she had been out this time, but it was dark outside. She needed to make a visit to the bathroom so she rose as quietly as she could. The lamp that had been left burning low in the room showed her how tired Nick was, and she knew he desperately needed rest.
The combination of the pain she suffered, and the medicine made her feel weak and groggy. She decided to make something to eat; after eating a small sandwich, Ava sat in the parlor. She was tired of lying down. From her place on the sofa, she could see Nick sleeping in the other room. She was so thankful for him. She couldn't imagine having to go through this alone. But she also felt guilty. He was giving up a lot by being here with her. He loved the ranch and hadn't really paid much attention to it since he found out about her illness. This showed her the depths of his feelings. The simple act of taking time away from the ranch he loved so much assured her of his love.
Ava continued to study him, wishing things had turned out differently. She wished that they could be married and have babies together. She was sure their boys would look just like Nick. Hazel eyed and handsome. While any daughters they would have would look like her. She enjoyed the little fantasy her mind had dreamed up, until she realized it would never be. She let the tears fall as she mourned a life she could never have.
Nick stirred and reached across the bed. His eyes opened when he found the other side was empty. He sat up and pulled his pants on, not bothering with a shirt. When he walked into the parlor, he saw Ava curled up on the small sofa with a light blanket pulled over her. He smiled at her disheveled appearance.
His outburst before helped to vent some of his pent-up emotions. This was turning out to be one of the hardest things in his life, watching the woman he loved die. His heart remained heavy. He thought perhaps he had cried all of his tears out before but found a few of them still lining his cheeks. He wiped them away and softly sat down in the chair across from Ava. He enjoyed watching her sleep now as much as she had enjoyed watching him earlier.
It wasn't much later that Ava woke and smiled at Nick. He returned the smile, noticing the glassy look she had in her eyes. The medicine Dr. Merar had given her always took a while to wear off completely which was one of the reasons Ava didn't like taking it. Nick found himself hoping that this would be one of Ava's good days. They had been blessed with more than they could have hoped for since arriving, and he really wanted today to be a good day as well.
"How do you feel?" he asked, coming to sit with her on the sofa.
She snuggled up against him, running her hands across his bare chest.
"Tired, but no pain, at least not now."
Nick held her close and kissed the top of her head. They sat in silence for a while until Ava spoke.
"Nick, will you make me a promise?"
"Anything," he said.
Ava hesitated. She had thought long and hard about what she wanted to say to him, but the words were difficult to articulate. She took a deep breath and plunged on.
"Promise me you'll marry someone you truly love and have a happy life together."
Ava felt Nick's body stiffen beside her. She sat up and looked into his eyes.
"Ava-" he began.
"Nick. I want you to promise me. You deserve that. After I'm gone, I want you to go on with your life. I know you'll grieve, but I don't want you to die with me. Please. Promise me."
Nick shifted uncomfortably and said, "Ava, I don't want to talk about this now."
Ava nodded, knowing that now was not the time to push him. She would have to plant the seed and let the idea take fruition in his mind, but she didn't have much time. It would be difficult for him, but she knew it was the right thing. Just as she couldn't bear the thought of him being a widower, she couldn't bear the thought of him being alone for the rest of his life. A lot of people might say Ava was a saint for encouraging the man she loved to find someone else after her death. She didn't see it that way at all. She felt as though she were being selfish by keeping him here, away from his family and the ranch. She felt selfish for wanting him to stay and care for her, even though she knew it was difficult for him to do so.
Ava looked out the window and noticed the sun was just beginning to rise. The dazzling display of colors was beautiful. She thought of the joy she felt to be sharing this glorious day with the man she truly loved. She snuggled closer to Nick, running her hand across his chest. She began to kiss him, and he returned the kiss; then her hand slid down weakly from its grasp and her lips relaxed under his. He took her delicate hand and kissed it tenderly. Quietly and gently, he carried her to the bedroom they shared for one last time.