Chapter 8

Nick threw himself into the work of the ranch. He would rise before dawn and would work until sundown, at times doing the work of two men. By the time he fell into bed at night he was exhausted. He wouldn't have any trouble falling asleep and his dreams at night were filled with visions of Ava. Her smile and laughter would fill his ears and the memories of her in his arms filled his heart with joy. Then, toward the end of the night, his dreams would turn into nightmares. Ava's last days were heartrending. Her cries of pain would come back to Nick, causing him to awaken in a cold sweat. He would lie in bed, his arms aching to hold her again.

The family honored Nick's wishes and allowed him to grieve. The first few weeks after his return, he was quiet and withdrawn. He would eat his meals with them, but rarely joined in the conversations going on around him. No one was used to this quiet Nick. They all admitted they missed their boisterous brother and son but waited patiently.

Slowly, Nick's heart began to heal. The pain of losing Ava had been so sharp in the beginning. It almost hurt to breath when she would invade his thoughts. But eventually, Nick found the pain becoming a dull ache.

One day, he and Heath were riding the range, checking for downed fence lines from the storm that swept through the night before. Heath was telling him about one of the ranch hands and his run-in with the new schoolteacher. Nick laughed out loud at the way the teacher had put Bill in his place. The sound of his own laughter ringing in his ears, caused tears to well up in his eyes. He abruptly stopped Coco and dismounted. Heath, who had been enjoying listening to his brother's laughter stopped as well. He walked up beside Nick, who was leaning against a fence post, his hand covering his eyes.

Heath was a very perceptive man and placed his hands on Nick's shoulders. Nick didn't look up at him, but this didn't stop Heath from speaking.

"You aren't betraying Ava's memory by laughing, Nick. It's okay to enjoy yourself again."

Nick nodded, knowing Heath was right. He looked at his brother and said, "You go on. I'm gonna ride over to the west ridge and make sure there was no damage there by the storm. I'll see you at home."

Heath was hesitant to leave. "You sure? I don't mind staying."

"I'm sure. I just want to be by myself for a little while. I'll be home in time for dinner."

Little by little Nick returned to normal. He joined in with the family again, instead of staying on the outskirts, observing as he had done the past few months.

Jarrod's wedding to Colleen was upon them and Nick stood beside his brother as best man. Nick admitted the day was difficult for him, but seeing the happiness of his beloved older brother, helped to cushion his pain. The brothers were spending a few minutes alone before the wedding started.

Nick sat in a chair and watched as Jarrod paced around the room like a caged animal. He couldn't help but smile as he watched the normally calm man muttering to himself.

"You've got the ring, right?" Jarrod asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, Pappy, I got the ring right here," Nick said, patting his coat pocket. Jarrod nodded and paced some more. Nick was sure a hole was going to be worn in the carpet if the signal weren't given soon for them to leave the room.

Nick stood in front of his brother, stopping the other man. "Seeing you here today, the happiness - no - the joy on your face...gives me hope Jarrod."

Jarrod knew exactly what Nick was talking about. He smiled a little, blinking back tears. It had been a long journey since Beth's death. The dark tunnel had gone on for so long, but there was now a light shining to show Jarrod the way.

"You'll have it too someday, Nick."

Nick nodded; his emotions too close to the surface to speak.

"Who knows? Joy may be sitting downstairs right now?" Jarrod said, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Nick sighed. "Cut that out! I never thought you were one to play matchmaker!"

Jarrod laughed. "Laura Anderson is a nice young lady and an excellent secretary. You would do well to get to know her."

Before Nick could answer, someone knocked on the door. Heath poked his head in and whistled.

"Boy howdy, if you two don't look pretty!"

Nick and Jarrod both laughed and invited Heath in for a quick drink. Jarrod needed something to calm his nerves and Nick was thankful for the interruption. He had been noticing Jarrod's new secretary for a while but hadn't made any overt moves. She was a beautiful woman, with reddish blond hair and big blue eyes. She always smiled so sweetly at him whenever he came to visit Jarrod at his office. And Nick was finding more and more reasons to "drop in" to see his brother. On several occasions, Nick was tempted to ask Miss Anderson to dinner, but couldn't bring himself to take that step.

Another knock on the door interrupted Nick's thoughts. It was the signal that the service was about to begin. Nick smiled at Jarrod and Heath and the three made their way down front.

The reception was in full swing, the newly married couple receiving congratulations from all around. Nick had danced with his mother, sister and new sister-in-law but now found himself walking toward a certain strawberry blond.

Laura looked up from her glass of punch and held her breath as she watched Nick approach. She didn't know such a handsome man existed in the world. His tall, well-built frame and dark hair drew Laura's interest immediately. But it was Nick's hazel eyes that caused her heart to beat just a bit faster whenever he was around. There was such a sadness in them, one that she hoped she would have the chance to take away.

"Miss Anderson, may I have this dance?"

Laura smiled sweetly and said, "I would be honored, Mr. Barkley."

They danced the next three dances together, talking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. When the music ended, Nick found it hard to let Laura's hand go. She had been so sweet to hold. He asked her if he could take her to dinner later in the week and she accepted. Nick admitted he was looking forward to their evening together.

As Victoria Barkley watched her middle son ride away, she felt deep concern. He had informed the family the day before he was leaving for a few days. Heath offered to go with him, but Nick had said he wanted to be alone. Victoria couldn't help but think back to when Nick left the family because he had been bitten by a wolf. Nick was certain the wolf had been rabid and to spare his family pain, he stayed away for two months. Victoria had been so worried about him. Her tossing and turning at night as she wondered where he was and what was wrong were still a vivid memory. At the time, she hadn't known about the wolf. Once she found out Nick's reasons for leaving, she understood his decision, though she didn't agree with it at all.

Nick had seemed to return to his old self since Jarrod's wedding. His boisterous laughter could be heard all over and he still made quite an entrance into the house. Victoria smiled at the thought.

But the last few days Nick seemed to be withdrawing from them again. He and Laura Anderson were almost inseparable, and Victoria guessed there would be an announcement soon regarding their relationship. Nick seemed happy until he told them he was leaving. Victoria found a private moment to ask Jarrod if perhaps the couple had had a falling out, but Jarrod assured her they seemed to be doing well.

What Victoria didn't know, was Nick was headed back to Indian Springs. He had not been there since Ava's death and was feeling the need to be near her again. He arrived late in the afternoon and after unloading his supplies, he made the short trek up the hill to her resting place. He sat in silence for a few minutes, then began to speak.

"I miss you, Ava. It's so hard to believe it will be a year next month that you died. In a way the year has gone by quickly, and in others it was so long." He paused, taking a deep breath. " I wanted you to know I've met someone. Her name is Laura and I think you would like her a lot. She's a kind and generous woman, and feisty too. Got a lot of spirit. You two would have been great friends.

"I decided I'm going to ask her to marry me. It's something I've thought long and hard about, and I felt I needed to let you know. I've told her all about you and she understands. She knows how much I loved you and how much it hurt to lose you.

"I know you wanted me to have a bunch of boys to help me with the ranch, but I hope we have a girl too, because I want to name her Ava. I want her to grow up to be the kind of woman you were a wonderful, unselfish woman."

Nick paused again, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'll never forget you, Ava," he whispered.

Nick's wedding day...

Jarrod watched as Nick paced nervously, waiting for the signal to stand down in front of the church. He smiled as he thought of the long journey Nick had taken, knowing it had been difficult for him. But Nick had finally found joy again. He and Laura were the perfect complement to each other.

Jarrod smiled when he thought of Laura's name. Laura Joy Anderson. How fitting. Nick had found his "joy" again. In more ways than one.

THE END