To Be A Hero: Family

by jessylane318

The world of the quirkless isn't fair. They're discriminated against, denied rights, & often poverty-stricken. Hoki Rin was born in this world, but unlike her brothers, she has a quirk, and it's terrifying. An exploration of how a teenager, when given love, attention, and respect, can rise above the neglect and abuse of their past. Dark beginnings, Happy ending. Dad!Aizawa. Dad!Mic

77. Chapter 77

A/N: The big reveal... Are you ready?

---

Dinner is another disaster, though this time I'm more prepared for it.

Iida and the redhead from class 1B take charge and begin handing out jobs. Bakugou, Tsuyu, and I are put in charge of food preparations with three other students from Vlad's class. Bakugou works on chopping meat while Tsuyu and I prepare the vegetables. Everyone else has to either peel vegetables, chop firewood, or do whatever miscellaneous tasks available.

I finish my portion quickly and glower at the nasty instabox we've been given again.

Nasty.

If you want something else, you'll have to ask for it.

The idea of talking to Mandalay makes my stomach churn. But the idea of having to stomach another day's worth of feet-flavored food is enough to get me moving.

Aizawa-sensei had, eventually, given me a granola of his own when I'd started feeling dizzy. He'd made me sit out a round as well and drink water, but that wasn't nearly enough.

I reluctantly leave my vegetables and head towards the brown-haired cat woman. She's leaning towards the child, the one that had helped me before, and I frown noticing his displeasure. I don't blame him. I would hate living here too.

Mandalay looks up and smiles politely when she sees me.

I contain my sigh and offer a small bow.

"I… I apologize for my behavior yesterday," I say, swallowing my pride and attempting to quiet my thoughts. I mean none of it. I wasn't sorry.

The cat woman says nothing for a moment and the little boy makes a rude noise. I lift my head slightly to look at his face and he stills, before crossing his arms and leaving. Mandalay sighs.

"While I accept the apology, I would appreciate it more if you didn't say things you didn't mean. I spoke with Eraserhead, and I tried to speak with you earlier. But, I'm the one that owes you an apology."

But you read my mind just now, I think nastily.

This isn't going according to plan.

She just… She just makes me so mad. I purse my lips.

"I'm not reading your mind," Mandalay says quietly. I scoff and she sighs, her paws rubbing against her face. "I'm not, kitten. I don't need telepathy to be able to see you don't trust me. And I get it. I understand why now and… I… I don't normally hear people as clearly as you. I can usually drown them all out, but the things you were seeing, hearing, feeling, they were overwhelming, even from a distance."

I shive at the reminder and straighten as the woman's dark eyes look back at me seriously.

Then she offers a small smile.

"If it makes you feel any better, your guardian chewed me out quite thoroughly."

I frown and my eyebrows furrow.

For some reason, that does help. I wonder if he fussed at her like he did me in that clearing.

I hope it made her cry.

That thought makes me uncomfortable, and I push it aside. It sounds like… like Niko. I don't like that, don't like the comparison.

I decide to ask for what I came for.

"Is… Can we use your seasonings instead of the insta-mix?" I ask quietly, trying to ignore the way my stomach jerks at the thought of asking her for anything. I don't like it.

I don't like that food more, I remind myself.

"Oh? My spices?" the cat woman says excitedly. Her entire expression changes as she perks up. "Oh, that's asking quite a lot! Hmm, they're quite expensive, I'm not sure I can just give that away."

My eye twitches and I try not to glower.

Stupid Sensei.

I knew this was a waste of time.

I turn to leave, but a paw on my shoulder stops me.

I shake it off instantly and glower.

"Don't touch me."

"Sorry!" Mandalay says, looking sincere even as she smiles. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean you couldn't have any, just that they wouldn't be free! We can do a trade!"

"A trade," I deadpan.

Trust is something you earn, that they need to earn. You ask for identification, you question their motive, and you don't believe everything they say.

"What?" I ask suspiciously. If it's to get in my head again, I'm gonna hit her in her stupid-

"I want you to glow," she says smiling. "If you'll do a glowing kitten pose you can have access to every seasoning in the kitchen. What do you say? Not bad, right?"

I scowl at her.

"Why?"

She rubs her neck and makes an awkward little laugh.

"Cause I know it makes you feel better? And I'm sorry? And I know that this trip has been just one rough patch after another?"

My eyes narrow.

I don't believe her. She makes a nervous face.

"I… I also think it's really cute and just wanna see it one more time?"

That I believe. I huff through my nose and glower. Then I concentrate. Sensei would make me summon my glow when we practiced analyzing the different pieces, but it was easier with him. I didn't want this… this cat woman to see those thoughts. They were, they were special.

"You promise to stay out?" I growl. "I don't want you in my head."

Mandalay nods agreeingly.

"I haven't connected with you since yesterday, and I promise not to do it again without your permission."

I give her a dark look.

Then I close my eyes and try to draw up happy thoughts. It's more difficult than usual, but they come eventually. Sensei holding me in his lap. Shinsou laid out on the grass as I lean over him smiling shyly, please don't be mad. Yamada-sensei teasing on his couch, the night Shinsou spent the night. When Sensei tickled and held me to his chest.

I smile as the thoughts warm in my chest and something alongside happiness blooms there, small and deep.

I open my eyes and feel something flutter against my back. Wings.

The cat woman stares at them, eyes wide. I frown but concentrate instead on the thought of delicious food. My hair shifts, a tail, I concentrate and make the paws as well. I open my eyes and Mandalay has tears in her eyes.

What a weirdo.

When she takes too long, I give her a dark look and she hurriedly shows me the pose. It looks like the one she does with her group. I roll my eyes and imitate it. She does another, and I imitate that one too. And on the third pose, I stop, fold my arms and the light all disappears.

She gives an embarrassed laugh and shows me to the spices.

I'm only too happy to get away.

.

.

.

Dinner is amazing.

I throw away the instabox as soon as I return with real spices, and I invade Bakugou's space to season all of the meat he chopped. He gives me a weird look, but I shake the curry powder in his direction.

"It won't taste like feet!"

He snorts and moves over to let me work.

My glow returns when we eat. It's so delicious I smile happily and go back for seconds. Several of my classmates (Toru, Ochako, and Mina) squeal happily as they eat. Momo gives me a thankful smile. And, oddly enough, even Dark Shadow seems in a good mood.

He winds his way over and nuzzles my cheek.

Its… weird.

"You smell so good," the bird shadow whispers even as a flustered Tokoyami tries to take back control. I snort.

"Th-Thanks?"

Tokoyami has to physically come collect his weird shadow bird when it starts sniffing my neck and licking my arm. It's so weird.

"Noooo! But it smells so good!"

I have no idea what to think. I do, however, notice Sensei watching the exchange with a rather annoyed expression. I smile and he scowls back.

After dinner is the so-called 'games.' Everyone washes their dishes, several people clean up the picnic tables, and afterward, we all meet up in a different section of the forest. All four cat people are there, posing and shouting, and I really just want to roll my eyes. When they start explaining the 'game,' however, I feel my ire return. A Test of Courage. They want us to go into the forest at night in pairs and see who can scare the most people.

"Show us how scary you are with your quirks!"

My lips thin and I cross my arms, glaring angrily at the cat group now currently posing. I really, really don't like them. Then, annoyed that this is even a game, I turn to Sensei and glare at him too.

Who thought this was a good idea?

Why would you let them do this?

Pretending to be monsters.

It makes me want to scream.

I make my way to Sensei even as Tiger begins explaining what he wants.

"The class that makes the most people piss their pants with creativity and imagination wins!"

I wrinkle my nose.

I hope someone pisses on him.

Sensei meets me at the back of the group and frowns.

"Yes?"

"This isn't okay," I tell him flatly.

His frown deepens further.

"You don't have to participate," he says simply. He glances behind me towards several others before his gaze return to mine. "I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. I was apprehensive that it might with your history. You are welcome to join us in remediation. You can work on one of your essays."

Behind me, I can hear the excited chatter of the others.

I don't like this. I don't like any of it.

It's… They're…

I reach forward, not caring who's looking and claw at his shirt. His eyes narrow, his face taking on a concerned expression.

"I don't want to scare them," I whisper. I push my forehead into the firm planes of his chest, shivering as the fear begins to work its way through my body. "I always scare them. Sensei- Sensei, I'll hurt them."

"You will not," he says quietly, and his hand settles warmly against my head. "First, no matter what you do, you will not be using your shadows. Second, you don't have to participate in this. If you don't feel comfortable, you can stay with me in the classroom. Vlad and I will both be offering extra lessons most of the night. You can stay until it ends, and then you can go to bed. You don't have to go in that forest or participate in this game."

"But why?" I ask, frustrated by the emotions quickly building in my throat. They bubble up ominously, threatening to close around my words and pull me into a panic.

"Why what?"

I can't explain it. I growl and knock my head against him angrily, frustrated. His hand moves, sliding through the top portion of my braid to the back of my head, holding it still. I like the pressure. I like the way it makes my thoughts not so quickly unravel.

But I don't like this.

Why?

But I don't want to quit.

Pull yourself together and behave like a student or go home and behave like a child.

I'm not a little kid.

I shove away and scrub at my face. Sensei's face darkens at the tears I know he sees. I scowl at the dirt, at his boots. This is stupid. This is stupid and dumb and…

"Rin," Sensei says when I get lost in my head. "I need to leave. Are you coming?"

I glare at him and his shoulders sag.

"No! I'll stay," I tell him angrily.

"If you're upset-"

"I'm fine," I growl, crossing my arms and looking away. "But- But I won't scare them! You can't make me!"

Sensei makes a noise as he rubs his neck.

"You don't sound fine," he grumbles. "I just said you don't have to do this. If you don't want to scare them, don't. I'm not going to make you do something that clearly upsets you, I'm tempted to make you come back with me. But you've made it abundantly clear you would prefer to make your own decisions. The proponents of this idea thought it would be fun, but this isn't worth the risk of you having a panic attack. If I were you, I'd leave. So if you change your mind, you're welcome to join us, and you can meet your friends afterward."

I swallow as he turns, activates his quirk, and quickly lassos several students: Kirishima, Mina, Kaminari, Sero, Muscles, and Mineta. I shiver when the small boy doesn't struggle in the bindings. Instead, he looks at me, and I realize he's probably been looking this entire time, face drawn in worry.

I glance away, uncomfortable.

"You six will be doing remediation with me," Sensei growls, and five of them protest loudly at his words. "I'm not impressed with your progress today. So let's go."

I watch, uneasily, as they walk away.

I don't like this.

It's not okay.

The rest of the class devolves into chatter as the blonde cat woman begins walking around with a handful of papers.

Kyoka and Iida, begin chatting the loudest, and it makes my stomach churn. I don't like this. I don't like it-I don't like it-Idon'tlikeit! I'm so distracted by my thoughts, I don't notice when the blonde walks up, and I nearly punch her in her stupid nose when she suddenly thrust a paw full of numbers in my face. I pull one silently, glaring. The number 7 gleams in the evening light.

The nausea doesn't abate.

Anger rises to take its place.

I stomp over to Momo who holds the 8 and take a spot beside her, crossing my arms.

"R-Rin-chan? Are you okay?" the taller girl asks nervously.

I glare.

"This is stupid," and I make a furious face at Tiger who makes a rather nasty one right back.

"What! Hoki-chan, this is a great opportunity for us to show off our creativity!" Iida shouts enthusiastically. He stops when he takes in my expression. Then he blinks. And I really don't like the look of sudden shame swirling across his face. "I… I'm sorry. Forgive me Hoki-chan, that was thoughtless."

I glare at him too.

I don't even know why he's apologizing.

He backs away when I don't speak and goes to strike up a conversation with Ochako and Tsuyu who were paired.

"Revelry in the dark," Tokoyami mumbles dramatically. I want to shove my foot up his-

I cut that thought off.

This is not revelry.

I keep the thoughts to myself and cross my arms, squatting on my knees as we wait. Momo chews nervously on her fingers as we do, striking up conversations with the random pairs that mill around in the darkness. A few speak to me, but I don't listen or even care. I don't want to be here. But I don't want to quit either.

I continuously shoot the cats nasty looks even as I think even nastier ones.

The way Mandalay's face doesn't change tells me she either really isn't listening or she's incredibly good at faking it. It could go either way.

I vividly imagine someone shoving her in a creek.

She doesn't even flinch.

Team one goes first, then two, and three with Kyoka and Toru ahead of us. After ten minutes, it's finally our turn. I follow Momo into the darkness. Someone screams in the distance, it sounds like Toru, and I have to clench my jaw to keep from snarling. Black shadows swirling out, blocking out the sound and sun. The taste of death in the air, nails scraping down my spine. I don't flinch.

Part of me wants to show them how stupid this idea is.

Part of me wants to make them afraid—wants to wrap them all in shadows like I did those cashiers. I hate the thought instantly. I hate this idea.

Heroes.

Another scream echoes through the forest, and Momo jumps and squeaks in terror.

See how everything moves? That's normal. You can't be scared of all the movements in the dark or you'll hurt yourself in your fear.

"Aren't you even a little nervous?" Momo asks, looking around and twitching.

"No," I say stiffly. I stuff my hands in my pockets and look anywhere else. "I'm angry. This is dumb."

I see the bushes rattle and grimace.

They aren't even subtle.

Something moves again, and I snatch Momo back just in time to see the word BOO! physically explode in front of us in huge, yellow letters. Momo screams, high pitched and screechy even as a loud, breathy laugh wheezes from the trees. I have to stop myself from reacting and viciously raking shadow claws through it and the fool behind it.

You're too tense.

I stomp around the giant word without comment, nose wrinkling. Someone else screams in the distance. It sounds like Kyoka this time. I glance back.

"Coming?"

Momo shivers as she follows, nervously looking around. We get a few feet before I see her jump at the sound of a squirrel.

"You're more scared of being scared than the actual woods," I tell her after watching it happen again, this time from falling leaves. Is this how I looked to Yamada-Sensei? I sniff and pout. I hope not.

"How are you not… reacting?" she says quietly as she shivers.

This isn't real.

Nightmare.

"Practice. If I do, I'll hurt them," I answer shortly, lips pressing together.

I remember the homes, the mask, Niko's trunk around my shirt and dragging me to my feet.

She stares.

"Hurt them?" she asks after a moment. She pauses, twitches, and moves suddenly closer. "What… What do you mean?"

"When I get too afraid or worried, I… I hurt people," I admit, glancing her way and frowning. I don't like the look on her face. I don't like the paleness or the way she shakes. I press my shoulder to hers, not sure how to stop this. I only ever made them afraid. I don't know how to… how to not. "Its why I moved so much. I… I don't like this. It's too much like Mama."

Momo's fear of the forest diminishes as worry clouds her face.

"Your… mom?" she asks quietly. "Is that why… why you- I mean… I, I shouldn't ask, never mind."

I frown.

"Do… Do you want to know?"

Momo swallows, and slowly, nods.

I watch her face and then look forward down the barely lit path. Someone had filled the course with some sort of solar lights. My eyes follow the path forward, searching the shadows for life. Birds in the trees, squirrels and owls making noise.

Safe.

"Mama used to make me rob banks," I tell her quietly. "We needed the money for food, so she made me wrap them in my shadows. I would scare them. She told them I would kill them if they didn't hand over the money."

I hated it.

"That's awful," the taller girl whispers, and I'm surprised at the tears in her eyes. "Oh, Rin-chan, I'm so sorry!"

I stiffen as she leans forward and hugs me. She's so much taller than me, my chin presses against her collarbone. But then I relax and pat her back. I like hugs. And even if hers feel kind of like Midnight's, it's still nice.

I pull away and tug at her wrist.

"We should keep going."

Momo nods and does, but if her hand stays on my wrist, I don't shake it loose.

Instead, I try to distract her as we walk, asking her little questions as we walk. What are her parents like? The story she paints is… strange. They remind me of Takamura, with lots of money, parties, and empty rooms. She talks about the expectations as well, the never-ending lists of materials and their components to memorize, how she'd been told to make them perfect, how she'd been tutored since she was three.

It sounds lonely.

"Why do you want to be a hero?" I ask, struggling to comprehend why someone so… so nice would want to do this.

Momo opens her mouth to answer, but then one of the nearby bushes rattle. Sharp green tendrils explode from the foliage, and for an instant, I forget where we are. My own shadows rise to the surface in defense, thick and smoky and charging.

"Rin-chan!"

I freeze as the bushes scream. I quickly pull them back, swallowing them whole down my throat. They knot into an ache in my belly as a guy coated in silver rushes out. I shiver, not from fear, but frustration as a girl with long green hair stumbles out as well, her eyes wide and watery.

Momo scowls.

I feel my body tremble as I shove away.

I could have hurt you!

"Hey! What gives? We're supposed to be the ones scaring!"

"Don't yell at her-"

"That was terrifying-"

Villain…

"This is stupid. This game is stupid," I snap at all three of them, stuffing my hands in my pockets to keep them from noticing the shakes. "I'm done. I'd rather deal with Sensei than this dumb-"

"Wait, Rin-"

I do, but not because of Momo. I freeze as something familiar assaults my senses. My nose twitches at the sudden smell on the breeze. Sickly sweet. Smoke. I twist, my hands rising to my face. Everything drops away as tentacles swirl and squeeze inside my chest.

No. No, no, no!

"Don't breathe," I shout even as I take a deadly gulp and cover my face. My head spins with the sweetness. "Poison!"

Momo's eyes widen before she covers her own nose and screws her eyes shut. After a moment, four breathing masks fall from her exposed arms and legs. I quickly snatch one up and tie it around my face. The feeling of it brings back horrid memories. Nausea rises in my throat, and my arms shake even harder, making it almost impossible to tie. I try to forget the children's moans—Niko's mutilated face.

The others cover their faces, the green-haired girl looking faint.

After a second, she topples over with the strap halfway tied. The silver boy catches her and secures it. I take a steadying breath, trying to control the panic in my veins. It's almost too hard. What's going on? Is this some kind of test? He wouldn't. Sensei wouldn't. Sensei. Sensei! Where is he? What about the others? What do I do?

I look to Momo, their classmates are in the woods!

Are you ready to watch them all die?

Asp.

"Momo, we need more-"

"On it," she says, concentrating and producing several more. I grab four more from the pile.

"There're three more groups ahead of us and eight behind." I reason out loud, heart thundering in my ears. Even as the words spill out my mind swirls through other questions. Is he here? The league? Why? How?

Sensei said we were safe!

He said we were safe!

What about the scarers in the woods though? How far is the gas?

"I'll carry Shiozaki," the silver guy says. My eyebrows furrow before I realize he's talking about the plant girl. "The base is back behind us, we can-"

"I'll help the ones ahead," I tell Momo. She frowns.

"No! We should stay together."

"We don't have time," I snap callously. "Kyoka and Toru won't have masks! If it's Asp… This could be deadly this gas is. They could die!"

Both of them stiffen.

Momo still looks reluctant.

"Fine… But- But be careful," Momo says, I nod.

"Good luck."

.

.

.

I find both Kyoka and Toru passed out in the swirl of pink gas. Pale, sweaty, and chests barely moving. They look too much like corpses. Muffled cries spill out into the hall, childish and broken. Shin cries in the corner, Yui-san slumped next to him, throat slit and a sideways 8 carved in her forehead. Stuffing the masks on their face is difficult. I shake and sweat as I do it, nausea rolling in my stomach at the familiarity.

Again.

He's here again.

I barely manage to tie on the ends.

Then I have to carry them.

Listen up, you don't have a provisional license. You cannot, unless your life is in actual danger, use your quirk. Do you understand?

Did this count?

Sensei said not to use it.

He said not to train with it.

He said no shadows in the woods.

I stare at their near lifeless forms and snarl.

I don't care.

The tentacles come quickly to my will, but they're wild and unforgiving. I have to work twice as hard to keep them from squeezing too hard or changing into clawed hooks.

I heave them up and race forward, working up to a run. It's hard with the mask—god I hate this mask. It tastes like death. I can barely breathe, the panic rising and rising and rising until I just want to snatch it off and hurl. Why poison? Why?

I run with everything I have, sides aching and stomach tight. My blood thunders in my ears, my heart pounding with my steps.

Where are the others? Where are they?

Bakugou and Todoroki should have been next. Were they knocked out? Did they notice in time? Were they dead?

Would I find them dead?

Would I find their throats slit, a sideways 8 carved into their heads?

Would I find them dismembered?

Where are they!

Tears fall as I try to concentrate, sobs choking my breath as I try to run. I barely avoid the pitfalls in the path, I barely balance the girls, I barely control the terror and shadows bubbling over my skin.

And then I see it.

A shadow in the poison mist.

I slide to a stop, nearly tumbling face first. A familiar figure blocks my way.

Tall, thin, and a shiny black mask—even in the dark he's instantly recognizable.

I clutch the girls closer, horror rising. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

If I put them down, will he notice? Will he go after them? What if someone else does?

Can I fight and hold them?

I have seconds before he notices. I push them into bushes, shoving them none-to-gently in the foliage. Please don't notice. Please don't notice. Please don't notice.

Maybe I can distract him.

Maybe I can lead him away…

Maybe…

I slide into the middle of the path, hands clenched at my side as my body makes the choice for me. I shake as I move closer, as I put more distance between us.

Please don't notice. Please don't notice. Please don't notice.

"Asp," I hiss, shadows and black flames flaring around me.

He tilts his head, like a curious cat inspecting a mouse. Just his presence makes my tentacles bigger, thicker, wilder. He laughs, high-pitched and nasally.

"Rin-chan," he says, drawing a knife. It's long and wicked and sharp. "I knew I'd find you eventually."

"You bastard," I snarl. Rage bubbles up under my skin. Black flames flicker across my arms, my shoulders, my clothes. They burn in my vision, the scent of melting fibers and smoke mingling with the scent of death. My skin feels tight and stretched. Like dough pulled too far. The clothes begin to melt. My shirt begins to incinerate. "I'm going to kill you."

"Are you?" he asks, humor lilting with every word. "That doesn't sound very heroic."

I race forward, a fist full of black fire charging with me. He evades with ease, dancing back.

"But then, you heroes, rarely are, are you?"

"SHUT UP!" I scream, fire blasting from my palm in a massive beam that engulfs my entire arm. It incinerates a bush, leaving a smoky hull. It blackens the Earth. He laughs, that same, high pitched sound as he leads me through the woods, back and away, into the shadows and off the path.

Away from the poison.

Away from the girls.

He might not have noticed. I hope he didn't notice. Please don't notice.

I yank away the mask to breathe.

The heat of my quirk and the smells are nauseating.

I nearly vomit there, the taste of blood and soot and hopelessness thick against my tongue.

Asp.

Look what he did to Niko. What makes you think you can win?

"What's wrong, Rin-chan? You seem upset. Kind of like that boy, the little one. I heard he killed himself. Pathetic. Fucking useless little bitch," he says. "You know he cried and slit that old biddy's throat. Cried and pissed his fucking pants. The world's better off without weak little shits like that-"

I grind my teeth.

"YOU'RE A MONSTER!" I scream, fingers curling into fists as I stop. He laughs again and it rings in my head.

"No," he says, then he rushes forward. I run to meet him. My shadows condensing into a pole, extending out into a fiery sickle. I swing it forward and miss. He steps back before striking, his sword arcing. My shadows twist in mid-air, a shield extending with the fire, and catching his return strike. The force of it is powerful, so much stronger than anyone I've ever fought.

The shield holds, but my legs buckle and the tremors shake through my entire body.

He hammers forward again, strike after strike. One, three, four hits. He laughs, and I can smell the smoke in his clothes, sickly sweet and putrid.

"You're the monster, Rin-chan!"

I scream as his legs slide beneath and I'm knocked back.

He stomps and I roll, instinct and practice saving me from the knife stabbing into the earth beside me. He grunts as he pulls it out and I somehow manage back on my feet.

I stumble and spit the loose dirt from my mouth, before shooting black flames out my hand. It launches across the space between us. It sears across his arm and he lets out a painful yelp. He dodges back and I follow, leaving a trail of charred Earth.

I'll stop you.

"I hear you've got a new little caretaker," the villain says, moving back into the trees. He disappears into the darkness and I follow warily, arms at the ready. Tentacles curl around one side while fire burns on the other. Most of my shirt is gone, the bra underneath disintegrated, and the shadows threaten to rip apart the rest of it. I don't care. I can't, not when Toru and Kyoka are unconscious and helpless.

Not when one wrong move will mean their lives as well as mine.

"Oh, will you sit with us?" Toru asks Sensei, pushing aside the magazine. "Can we brush your hair?"

"Nicest?" Kyoka asks, teasingly. Something warm fills my chest. "I don't know if that'd be my first choice. Maybe strict and goofy with that sleeping bag…"

"They even feel real!" exclaims the invisible girl beside me. I struggle, as usual, to know where to look when an empty t-shirt and shorts leans against me, her fingers running over the glowing cat ears atop my head.

The memories ache.

They burn in my chest, they burn in the black flames and the shadows, and my throat ceases as a deep protectiveness fills me.

I won't let him hurt them.

Why do you want to be a hero?

I'm going to protect you!

"You'll need to move faster than that," Yamada-sensei says, almost conversationally as he knocks me off my feet with a well-placed kick. "You can't just defend. You wanna be a hero, you're gonna need to stop me, not just run away."

I stop trying to control it and hunt, stalking the shadows.

"Eraserhead, huh? Did he show you my notes? Tch… probably not. Did you know he's been hunting me every night?"

"Don't talk about him," I growl. His voice echoes everywhere. I can't find him.

"I'm sure he's so much better than that old bitch," he says to my left, and I claw at the empty space fruitlessly. Asp's voice echoes, high pitched and nasally all around. "You know she cursed you when she died. I offered to let her live if she did."

I scream as a knife flies from the shadows near my feet and slices at my leg. The shadows react immediately, all those training sessions with Sensei forming a shield. But not fast enough. A thin line of red spills across my shin. The next comes only seconds later, flying towards my right hip from an entirely different area, I barely stop it. I release a blast of fire in the direction.

How is he doing that? Is he in the trees?

I can barely think, barely process anything as his laughter fills my head. It's everywhere and all at once!

I spin, breath catching.

"Why?" I scream, not sure what else to do, not sure where to turn. I can't find him. "Why are you doing this?"

The fire completely disappears from my side. The familiar tentacles replace it, waving wildly in the shadows. They curl across my chest, sealing my body partially behind their wild, flailing limbs.

"Why me?"

"I told you," he says, and suddenly he's falling from the branches. There's a hand against my throat. I gasp as he falls steps onto the tentacles without fear or restraint. He slams me into a tree, knocking my head against the bark and pushing my breath away. My feet slip from under me and I dangle in his hold, my shadows disappearing as my world explodes into pain. "I hate you. I hate your face, your name, your quirk, your everything. I'm going to destroy you, just like you did me."

I grasp at the fingers, silent and unable to even gasp.

I kick wildly on instinct, one hand reaching for him.

His mask glints in the night. He pulls back and slams me into the tree again. My vision flickers, my ears ring, and something wet and hot slides down my scalp and neck. He holds me there.

"You're going to die alone," he says.

My lungs burn. I kick out again for purchase. I claw at the arm, feeling my vision go fuzzy. His fabric tears under my nails as panic takes control. I can't breathe, can't speak, can't even cry. My shadows whirl uselessly beneath me, panicked and harmless. He holds up a syringe.

No. No. No! No!

Not again! Not again!

Please no!

"Goodbye-"

I drop to the ground as ice springs up where he was and an explosions ring in my ears. I gobble down air, my throat tender, and my head aching. A blonde figure slides in front of me, hands sparking, expression fierce.

Bakugou.

You came.

"The fuck are you doing, dumbass?"

I shake, unable to respond, and he glances back, eyes narrow. Then he scowls, face wrinkling in disgust. In one swift move, he tears off his shirt and throws it at my face.

"Cover the fuck up," he says angrily. I look down to realize nearly my entire chest is exposed, the scars that run down it clearly visible in his light. I pull over his shirt and drag myself to my feet.

"Thanks," I say, voice hoarse and scratchy. I rub at my throat and then at my head. The hand comes back bloody.

"Dumbass," Bakugou says. "Now where'd that freak go?"

A high-pitched laugh echoes.

"He's hiding in the shadows," Todoroki says, finally joining us. He holds a boy against his back. I sway uselessly on my feet, the adrenaline and fear still gripping my chest. My relief turns to fear. What if they get hurt? What am I going to do? I can't… I can't protect them all! I'm not- I'm not strong enough! I'm not- I gag and spit and call the shadows back. Todoroki stomps his foot, his ice rippling out all around us in a circular hedge. It deflects several projectiles I hadn't seen. He gives me a strange look. "Are you okay?"

No.

No, I can't be.

I can't…

Asp's voice echoes as if being projected through the ice.

"Friends, Rin-chan? I thought I killed them all!"

We whip around to find nothing; I turn back to see knives flying from the sky. I knock them away with my tentacles, shaking.

"You know this fucker?" Bakugou asks, grinding his teeth.

"He… He kidnapped me," I whisper, barely able to speak. "H-H-He keeps finding me. At- At USJ a-a-and t-t-the mall."

Bakugou growls. Todoroki glances my way, incredulous.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…"

Todoroki's face wrinkles in disgust. He steps closer and his eyes narrow as they examine my neck.

"You're hurt. Why haven't you caught him with your shadows?" Todoroki asks voice low and sharp.

I shiver, more from the terror than the sudden coolness filling the area from his quirk.

"H-H-He's too fast. And- And I… I can't see," I answer, my voice raspy. "My fire doesn't make light."

"That, we can do something about," Bakugou smirks, curling his wrist. Sparks jump in his hand and illuminate the stark lines of his body. His muscles ripple as he coils in preparation. "Let's light this bitch up!"

Todoroki's eyes narrow and, before the blonde can move, he grabs him by his arm.

"No, you'll start a forest fire. It could kill our classmates."

Explosive's eye twitches.

My chest aches.

"We just need to see the fucker, I ain't gonna burn down the damn forest. Hoki, break this ice wall down. We're going to beat this mother fucker's ass!"

I… I stare.

And when more knives fly towards us, I follow his command.

Reaching inside, I grab hold of all the fear and hate and pain. I grab it, hold it, and something inside cracks. I scream, my voice rising high as the scars on my arms split open, and shadows spill from my skin, my eyes, my mouth—cutting off my voice. I throw my head back as the shadows swirl around us. A huge tornado of darkness knocks away the incoming weapons, it lifts my hair into the air. It breaks the frozen hedge, shattering it and sending shimmering chunks of ice into the darkness.

Bakugou gives a shout of encouragement, his hands bursting into large orange flames.

The ice glitters like stars in the darkness. I spread my arms and snarl, casting it forward. The trees around us snap and break under the onslaught, the darkness crashing over them as the tornado changes into a tide pool. It smashes into the world around us like a tidal wave. Snakes writhe in the undulating mass, faces screaming from the surf, hands reaching out, nails clawing at the air.

Todoroki stomps. The ground around us now a mirror as it turns to ice.

Bakugou's flames reflect against it, suddenly flooding everything in light. I grimace, blinded, and try to find him—to find Asp.

A snarl snaps from above.

I jerk towards it, Todoroki and Bakugou doing the same, and Asp is in the air.

I bar my teeth and thrust out my arm, Todoroki moves as well, ice spiking towards the man.

He dodges both, levitating and flying sideways.

His mask gleams against Bakugou's firelight. He streaks towards us, knives tearing through the air. Both boys dodge, I let the shadows beyond me fade and stand my ground. A shield sprouts from my outstretched hand. Three blades smash into it, through it. One cuts into my forehead, nicking the space between my eyes.

That would have killed you.

I grind my teeth, too terrified to scream. Spikes flare from the shield as the knives drop to my feet.

Asp dances backward, avoiding my shadows and Todoroki's ice.

But he isn't laughing.

"I'm going to kill you!" he snarls, touching down on a nearby tree. "I'll kill you and all of your little classmates just like I did those bastard brats that thought they could stop me. You think because you have some flashy quirk you can stop me?"

"If you two don't shut him the fuck up, I'm gonna blow his fucking head off!" Bakugou snarls. "Forest fire be damned."

"Punk," Asp sneers, his hand rising to his mask. It lingers on the edge before dropping back down. "I'm going to enjoy carving my sign into your fucking head."

My stomach rolls.

Yui-san, throat slit, the sideway 8 cut into her skin.

"And when I'm done, I'm gonna find that bastard Eraserhead, and I'm gonna slit his fucking throat-"

Asp cuts off as my mouth opens and shadows surge through my lips, hot and dangerous and furious. The tree he had managed to retreat to melts in what looks like dragon fire. My lungs burn as I turn, chasing him with the flames and incinerating anything in my way.

He weaves around the clearing and I follow, my hot breath searing as darkness and flames follow in a steady stream.

Bakugou ducks out of my way.

Todoroki blocks the next set of weapons, locking them in ice, and then, following the trajectory, forces a spike directly in his path.

Asp dodges, and I'm forced to my knees as I inhale.

You won't touch him-

Asp takes advantage of the interruption. He moves, suddenly faster than he's ever moved before, straight towards us.

Bakugou, now liberated by the lack of trees, peppers him with fireballs, each bigger than the last. Todoroki slams ice in his way, but both have to move as projectiles spin dangerously in their direction. He's fast, so fast he's on me in another breath, his knife out and swinging high to cleave me in half.

Todoroki stops it with a chunk of ice, but Asp isn't stopped. I summon shadows again, dragging them from my skin. They surge straight ahead, but he jumps over the ice and darkness effortlessly. He throws himself forward. My other arm cracks and the shadows swell again. Bakugou gets off a blast but has to drop at the last second when something sharp slices towards his chest again.

But my shadows connect.

They spike up from the ice, splitting in a way I'd never managed before. A clawed hand slams directly into his mask before the man manages to cleave it in two. Asp screams, the sound horrid and fetid. His mask cracks, shattering up the middle as he corrects himself mid-air. He touches it, fingers rising towards his face. It falls away.

And I see him.

And I can't breathe.

My shadows dissolve into vapor.

My rage and fear disperse, and something paralyzing replaces them.

I can't move.

I can't breathe.

Two familiar eyes stare back, long black hair, and a mutilated face. I'd recognize it anywhere. I've known it for years. I'd seen it in the mirror so many times.

It looks just like my own.

Kaito.

The lips curl back in disgust.

"Die."

I can't move. My body stays frozen. Defenseless.

A knife appears in his hand and he raises it in the air, behind his head and hurling it through the air. It whistles as it flies. Straight towards my throat.

Kaito.

Silver flashes in the dark.

I can't breathe.

I can't move.

Is this the end?

I see Shinsou's face wrinkling in annoyance. Aizawa-sensei glowering with a huff. Yamada-Sensei dragging me in for a hug. Midnight winking with a grin. My classmates. Toru and Kyoka in the bush. Kagura-nee-chan's tears.

I can taste the bile in my throat.

Kaito.

My brother, Kaito.

Blonde hair fills my vision.

Bakugou replaces the knife.

"You fucking dumbass!"

.

.

.

Kaito leaves. By the time I blink into awareness, he's gone, retreating into the woods.

He takes some part of me with him. Some part I hadn't known I needed.

I'm a dazed, dysfunctional mess.

My shadows won't come to my call, my black flames are lost in the night, and the world seems to spin in chaos.

I can't. I don't. Why?

I don't know how to breathe.

It's like drowning in my shadows.

Only the world hasn't disappeared.

"What the fuck just happened, scar-face? You fucking froze up, again! Had I not been there-" He pulls me up by his shirt and stills when I stare lifelessly back.

Kaito.

Why?

"Snap out of it," he sneers.

I can't. I can't do anything. My chest doesn't rise. My body won't move. I can't- I can't- I can't-

The panic isn't the same. It locks at my lungs, paralyzing everything. I can't move, I can't think, I can't breathe.

He shakes me and glares.

My lungs won't work. I can't breathe.

Kaito.

I can't breathe.

My vision blackens, my chest aches, burning.

Nothing's working. I can't.

Kaito…

A hand slaps across my face.

The hit forces my entire head sideways. Todoroki hisses. I gasp through the stinging pain as sharp, beady eyes glare angrily back. Tears spill over, and I gasp for breath again. He shakes me once more, lips curled back into a snarl.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he says.

I choke on a sob, the world feeling like its coming undone at the seams.

"Bakugou!"

"Don't fuck with me, you bastard-"

"Bakugou, we need to prioritize-"

"My brother," I manage.

Both of them stop and stare at me in shock.

"That… that was my brother."

"Fuck," Bakugou says, letting me go. I crash back to my knees. He steps back, nearly stumbling. Todoroki grimaces.

"We need to get out of here," the dual-haired boy says. He readjusts the boy on his back. I claw at my hair, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the endless abyss that is my chest.

Kaito.

I can't. How do I-

Deep breath.

It rattles in my chest.

"Toru and Kyoka," I whisper, pulling on Bakugou's shorts. He glares, then snarls, and drags me up by my elbow. I stumble away, towards where I left them, following the lines of destruction. The other two follow.

The girls are where I left them, exactly as I remember. A silver mask covers their face, skin pale and death-like.

He did this.

He did this because of me.

"You… carried them here?" Todoroki asks, eyebrows furrowed as I stoop on shaky legs to grab the invisible girl. My knees knock and my arms trembles as I pull her towards me, her invisible skin clammy, her breath nearly non-existent. I struggle as I pull her on my back, Todoroki having to put down his own passenger to help. Bakugou pulls Kyoka on his back, his motion much more fluid.

"Yes," I say.

Todoroki's eyes are wide. I can't stand to even look at them.

---

A/N: This chapter has actually been written since about chapter five. I've had to change a few choice pieces, but most of it's been done for a while... :) Did you guess it?