After our awful morning, Sensei is late to the school.
He waits for me to calm down before he makes me eat, while he packs a bag. When I finish, I rinse my bowl, and then we're walking out the door. I wipe at my eyes as we walk, face downturned as his words whisper in my head.
Then you have my promise that no matter how angry, frustrated, or upset I get you are mine. I will never abandon you.
The walk is quiet.
My mind wanders everywhere, slipping from topic to topic so fast that I barely have time to process them. But it keeps returning to his words, his lips on my forehead, the kiss—the second one I can remember. I don't understand.
He lets me hold his arm as we walk.
I lean against it, wiping my eyes with my arm even as I press my cheek against his sleeve. The fabric feels weird, smooth and starchy. I'm probably going to wrinkle it.
He says nothing though, and he doesn't push me away.
When we do arrive, nearly an hour and a half late, Toshinori-san is waiting for us. I take in his rather beat up figure and frown. The arm wrapped and held across his chest worries me most. What happened? Is he okay?
The blonde smiles brightly and waves.
Sensei huffs in annoyance.
"Toshinori-kun," Sensei says, voice low and bored. "I apologize for our lateness."
The blonde blinks, mouth falling open, and a secret conversation seems to pass between them. I don't like it. I push aside Sensei's arm and bury my face in his side. It's just as starchy and weird, that strange cologne clinging to the fabric. I just want to go home and sleep.
I'm so tired.
Why am I always so tired?
He sighs, fingers drumming across my head.
"S-S-She doesn't know?" Toshinori squawks. I have no idea what he's talking about.
"Know what?" I mumble.
"No. Rin, we will discuss it later at home. Toshinori-kun, are you ready?"
He is. Sensei leads me to a car, places his bag on one side, and has me sit all the way in the middle. I kind of like it. Sensei takes up one part and Toshinori the other, and I can easily snuggle into both of them. Toshinori-san makes it weird though when he starts making awing noises and Sensei glares. I close my eyes and sigh, wishing I could lay down.
The ride doesn't take long, and after only about ten minutes the car stops.
Both men get out, but Sensei puts up his hand when I try to follow.
"We shouldn't be gone for long," he says, unzipping the bag he brought. He pulls out a blanket, headphones, and a CD player. "Hizashi made the music so I have no idea what's on it. Taiki-san, our driver, will stay here with you. If you get upset, you're to text or call me, understood?"
I frown but nod.
I lay down on the back seat, letting him spread the blanket across my body, and pull on the headphones. His hand slides over my face, his thumb running over my cheek before he pulls away and shuts the door. I hear the lock click before the music starts up.
It's nothing like what Yamada-sensei plays on the radio. It's a soft piano without words.
I don't expect to like it.
The bright tones play in my ears in a way that reminds me of my wings and a breeze. The fluttering notes, the trailing chords, they all strike something deeper than words. I close my eyes, pulling the blanket close to my nose. It smells like home.
I fall asleep in moments.
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.
.
I wake when someone opens the car door.
I sit up and yawn blinking away my sleep as Sensei returns, a familiar frog girl in tow. Tsuyu doesn't even hesitate, she climbs in the back of the car and drags me into a hug. It takes me a moment to realize she's crying.
"Tsuyu-chan?" I whisper, knocking away my headphones. The soft music murmurs mutely in the background, another pretty song.
"I'm so- I'm so glad you're okay!" the girl says, "ribbit!"
I don't understand.
I don't feel okay. But I swallow that thought and lean forward to hug the other girl back. After a moment, Sensei hums and Tsuyu lets go. She looks like she wants to say more, like she doesn't want to move, but she reluctantly backs out of the car, and I notice three other faces behind her. Siblings. My chest aches as they smile back, their expressions curious and kind. They cling to each other that scratches beneath my skin. I can't help the sob that climbs up my throat.
Tsuyu's expression turns sad.
"Rin-chan…"
Sensei pats the girl's head, leaning forward.
"She'll be fine," he says simply. He bows to the others, and as Toshinori slides in on his side, Sensei takes the side Tsuyu had abandoned. I hug the blanket to my chest as I lean forward and try to breathe through the tears.
Toshinori-san rubs my back.
"There, there, Young Rin, it'll be okay. Don't cry-"
"Don't tell her that."
I can feel the blonde's confusion as I lean into him, resting my forehead against his knees even as Sensei closes the car door and reaches around me to buckle my seatbelt.
"Wha-What?"
"She's upset because she's thinking of her family. Let her cry. It's healthier than keeping it in."
The bony man pets my head and rubs my back, making an 'ahhh' noise. I hiccup and try to control my breath even as the car begins to move.
"I… I suppose that's true. My… My own master would tell me to smile. She said it could drive away the darkest of nights."
I don't have to look up to know Sensei is making a face.
"That is all well and good in the field but refusing to acknowledge and confront her emotions is the cause of half her panic attacks. That, and I would prefer she not smile ridiculously as she burns everything to the ground with her quirk. She looked ridiculous doing it during the sports festival."
I sniffle and send him a dirty look.
He raises an eyebrow and motions for me to sit up.
I do, embarrassed at the small wet spot I left on Toshinori's knee.
"I… I'm sorry," I whisper to the blonde. He holds up a hand and smiles helplessly.
"It'll dry! It's okay!" He rests his hand on his lap and stares off in a distance. "It certainly isn't the first time."
I curl into Sensei's side and wipe my eyes. He rests his hand against my head and breathes deeply. I hug the blanket to my chest as we ride, not paying much attention as the two men start up another conversation.
.
.
.
The pattern repeats itself several more, with Sensei and Toshinori-san leaving for some indeterminate time while I rest quietly in the back of the car. Sometimes someone will come to visit me, sometimes they don't. Ochako and Kaminari do, though I don't know who else they visit. Sometimes I sleep, sometimes I just stare blankly at the car ceiling, and sometimes the stranger in the front, Taiki-san, strikes up a quiet conversation.
It almost feels like a dream.
None of it feels real until Sensei comes back. It isn't until he slips in beside me, that the strange twisting feeling in my chest seems to subside.
I cling to him every time.
When they finally finish, Sensei has me put away my things and prepare to walk home. I bow politely to Taiki-san and give Toshinori-san a hug. When he pats my head with a small smile, I tug on his shirt.
"Yes?" he says, blinking.
"Can I kiss you?" I whisper.
He flushes instantly to his roots. Sensei, standing nearby groans.
"Rin, don't ask people that."
I ignore him, looking up at the blue-eyed man quietly. He dithers wildly, face turning between Sensei and me at a ridiculous rate. I sigh and grab his arm. I kiss the inside of it, and turn to nuzzle my cheek against the side of his chest. I can feel all of his ribs under his shirt.
I hope he's okay.
"Thank you."
"Ah…" Toshinori mumbles even as he makes a quiet noise and wraps me firmly in his arm. He's strong despite his bony appearance. "I don't know what for. I haven't done anything worthwhile today, but I appreciate it. You're a sweet girl, Rin-chan. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow."
I shrug, not really sure, and pull away.
Sensei and I walk home in silence.
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Sensei cooks dinner.
I don't help, I lay on the couch instead, and despite the ridiculous amount of sleep I've already had, I feel more exhausted than not. Miska wanders over, but I ignore her, not really in the mood to play.
When she jumps onto the couch, my eyes leak.
She purrs and demands my attention, headbutting my face and when that doesn't work, she climbs on my back and swats at my hair.
"Dinner's ready."
I don't move.
Sensei spends several minutes rinsing out the pans before he seems to notice. His footsteps are light as he makes his way to the couch, and when he squats down only to find my eyes open, he arches a brow.
"Rin?" he asks, his hand pushing back my hair. I can feel Miska bumping it with her head. "It's time to eat."
I stare blankly back, not moving.
After several, long seconds, he scowls.
"That means you get up."
I stare for a moment longer, trying to find the energy to do anything.
"Miska won't move."
Sensei makes a weird noise as he rubs his face. Then, reaching out, he scoops up the long kitten and, ignoring her protest, drops her unceremoniously on the floor. She meows angrily and immediately rolls over to lick her leg. I reluctantly sit up.
"Go wash your hands and join me at the table."
I sigh and do.
I feel half asleep and numb as I go through the familiar routine. Dreamlike. Why am I in my teacher's home? Why do I live with him? Strange thoughts swirl through my head as I sit down and stare at my food. And when he clears his throat, I reluctantly pick up my utensils, not hungry or full.
How did my life get here?
I take a bite and still, eyebrows furrowing as the taste hits my tongue.
The food is seasoned. I stare at it strangely as Sensei begins to eat. And, after a moment, he puts down his utensils. He sighs noisily, clearly annoyed.
That's rude.
"What now?" he asks, lips thinning.
"You seasoned it," I mumble, eyebrows furrowing.
"Yes, I'm aware. Why are you not eating it?"
"You don't season food," I remind him, frowning. I stare at the food strangely. Then I look at him. Dark, wavy hair, short scruff, and tired, bored eyes. He looks like Sensei always does. "Are you sick?"
Sensei glowers as he crosses his arms.
That, at least, seems normal.
"You complain constantly that I don't use enough spices, and the one time I chose to fix your food with them, you ask me if I'm sick? I'm tempted to go wash all those vegetables and make them 'bland' again."
I flush.
"N-No, thank you!" I squeak, quickly picking up my fork.
He looks petulant as he glares, and I hurriedly eat a bite.
It tastes… good.
I take a bite, and then another. And Sensei's grouchy look slowly disappears as I suddenly realize how ravenous I am. He watches for a long moment before shaking his head and turning back to his own food. We eat dinner in silence, the only sound that of our utensils scraping across the dishes and the quiet noise of our chewing. When I finish, I stand, rinse my plate, and return.
I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around the dark-haired man's neck, and he stills as my face presses into his hair. My cheek into the stubble of his jaw
"I'm eating," he grumbles, putting down his utensils. Then his arm reaches out and wraps around my back. "You're such a touchy child."
I smile half-heartedly and crawl in his lap. He lets me, lets me snuggle against his chest and wraps me in his arms. It's so much better without his stiff button-down. I rub my cheek against the dark, black fabric and sigh, breathing deeply the familiar smell.
It smells like home.
"Dinner was good," I whisper.
"I don't require your compliments," he huffs, and I wonder if some small part of him is pleased. "It was a logical choice to get you to eat more."
"Thank you."
He makes a grumbled noise and leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. He looks thoughtful as I close my eyes. I rest there in his lap, more at ease than I've been all day.
"Sensei," I whisper.
"Hmm?"
"I like this."
"I know," he grumbles, patting my back. "I'm about to make you move though, I'm hungry and I've hugged you all day."
I smile, one of the first real ones I've felt in a while. His own lips twitch when he glances down. I snuggle a little closer, closing my eyes.
"Can I have a kiss?"
Sensei groans.
"If I give you one, will you let me eat?"
"Maybe," I mumble, not opening my eyes. Then, I point to my forehead. "Right there? I liked that one."
Sensei laughs, it's short and brisk and leans forward to press his lips against my forehead. They're dry and warm and soft. And I can feel his breath ghost across my head.
I smile and duck my head into his chest, feeling my face flush even as my skin takes on the slightest of glows.
Sensei huffs as his hand moves through my hair, and even without looking I can sense his amusement. He leans forward and presses another against the top of my head.
"Go text your friends," he says gruffly, pulling me to my feet. "You have about two hours before bed."
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.
.
I don't sleep well. I wake up continuously, haunted by dreams and thoughts of Kaito, of his scarred and mangled face, of his hands wrapped around my throat, the knife glinting in the darkness. I can't stand it, can't stand the memories, can't stand the way they scrape at my insides. Why?
Why?
And worst of it all, I don't know.
Are you awake, I message Shinsou. The bright screen of my phone nearly blinding in the dark, the numbers 02:05 makes my stomach churn.
Yeah, what's up? Isn't it past your bedtime? Lol
I scowl at my phone.
I had a nightmare.
Ah, that sucks. You wanna talk about it or be distracted?
I sigh, rubbing my face, and curling around the phone.
Distracted.
Ah, well my parents want to meet you.
I blink and furrow my eyebrows.
Why? I text, confused. I wait as three dots appear on my screen, disappear, and then reappear again. A small box appears at the top, distracting me.
From Guardian.
I bite my lip and switch over.
Why are you awake?
I blink at that one too, not really sure how he knows. Then, scowling, I turn to look at the small box on the wall of my room and glare. The baby monitor.
I'm not a baby.
I had a nightmare, I text him promptly. I'm texting Shinsou.
You have an hour, Rin. After that, cut it off and try to go back to sleep. Staying up all night isn't good for you. Do you need me to return?
No, I respond, huffing. Then, realizing he can probably hear everything, I grimace and climb out of my bed. The apartment is dark as I pad into the living room and stretch out on the couch, smiling slightly at Miska's sleeping form. She snores lightly from the cat tower, her body outstretched and relaxed. Sensei says nothing more, so I switch back over to read Shinsou's message.
What do you mean why? Because you're my friend, duh. What kind of weird question is that?
LOL, did you fall back asleep that fast?
No, I text. Sensei wanted to know why I was awake. The stupid baby monitor went off.
…
Are you serious? What do you mean 'baby monitor'?
I don't need to see him to know he's laughing. I glare at my phone and pout and reach for the blanket Sensei had begun leaving on the couch and drag it over my legs.
I'm not answering that, I respond grouchily.
Oh god! You're serious! Sensei actually has a baby monitor on you? HAHAHAHA!
My face burns and I groan.
Shut up.
Does Dadzawa tuck you in too?
I growl and turn over, flustered and embarrassed as I hide my face in my arms. I take a deep breath and glance at the screen. Then, almost shyly type out - Yes.
There's a pause before his answer flickers on the screen.
Heh, that's cute.
He gives me kisses now too.
If this devolves into you telling me all of Sensei's soft new habits, I'm turning you on silent. There are some things I just don't need to know…
Like kisses?
Yes. Don't make this weird.
I giggle and change the subject, and only remember to go to bed when Sensei sends me a text.
The nightmares are less bad.
.
.
.
The next two days are much like the previous. Sensei still wears the strange button-down and tie, we still walk to the school in the morning, and Toshinori-san is still waiting for us when we get there, even though this time we aren't late.
I get to see my classmates too, Momo, Kirishima, and even Toru—who drags me from the car only to have more invisible people hug me. It had been incredibly weird because I couldn't see any of them, and it was like being hugged by ghost clothes. And Toshinori-san had thought it hilarious. He'd started spluttering and laughing, and I'm pretty sure Sensei took a picture, even though he denies it.
Mineta, however, is the most bitter reunion of them all.
Sensei comes to get me then, waking me up and helping me from the car. I blink and rub at my eyes, and he smooths down my hair with a somber expression.
I instantly don't like it.
"Is… Is something wrong?" I mumble.
"Mineta would like to speak with you," he says, and I frown in confusion, recognizing that he hadn't answered my question. I swallow as he pauses. He leans forward to look me in the eye. "Rin, I want you to be aware, he's… struggling with recovery. Please be patient."
My stomach twists into knots.
"R-Recovery?" I whisper.
Sensei's eyes close and he breathes deeply.
"Concussions are dangerous," he answers, voice low. "Mineta has been diagnosed with TBI—traumatic brain injury from the blow he took to the head. As of now, it's affecting multiple aspects, but most notably his balance and therefore his ability to walk…"
Sensei pauses and then runs his thumb across my cheek, wiping away tears I hadn't realized I was crying. His eyes are sadder than I ever remember them being.
"He's asked to see you."
I swallow and clutch at his arm, suddenly afraid.
Mineta not being able to walk.
The idea… it feels absurd. Like he's being ridiculous, like… like I'm still in some weird dream, the crazy, strange dream where my brother is an evil villain, my homeroom teacher adopted me, and my first friend is suddenly… suddenly…
My throat tightens as the emotions swirl in my chest.
Sensei lets me cling to his arm as we walk into the quiet house. It's small and quaint and strangely dark. Curtains are all pulled shut, the lights in the house all casting dim light. A short woman, hardly even a hundred centimeters tall ushers us inside. She has dark purple hair almost the same color as Mineta's with wide, round eyes and a soft, flushed face.
She pauses in the doorway with a tissue, her nose a vibrant red as we change our shoes.
"You must be Rin-chan," the woman says with a sniffle and a bow. "My name is Mineta Sumire, Minoru's mother. He… He speaks highly of you. I'm glad you're safe."
I flinch, but if the woman notices, she doesn't mention it.
Instead, she leads us to another room. Toshinori-san is sitting there, one arm still in a brace, and the other curled in his pants leg. He looks helpless, defeated. The shadows that haunt the gaunt caverns of his face seem deeper. He glances at us both and I swallow, realizing there are tears in his vibrant blue eyes.
"H-Hoki-chan?" whispers a voice.
And then I see him.
And even knowing everything, I can't help the glow of warmth in my chest that he's alive. That despite knowing it, there isn't that horrid 8 carved sideways on his head. That it isn't a table, with his picture smiling back. That his eyes are open, that he's breathing and speaking and… And I stumble forward, crashing to my knees beside the twin-sized bed to the small boy still wrapped in bandages. He's alive.
"Mineta-kun," I sniffle, taking his hand gently in my own. He squeezes it, tears streaming from his own, large eyes. "Mineta-kun… I… I…"
I cry even as he does, head bending forward as tears leaking against the hand caught in my grip.
"I'm sorry!" the small boy suddenly yells.
I flinch at the noise and he pulls away, snatching his own hand back to cover his own face. He makes a wounded noise and hiccups.
"I… I was so scared I'd never get to tell you. I… I'm sorry Hoki-chan! I should have never tried to peek in that stupid hot spring and if I could I'd take it back! I was selfish and stupid and I'm sorry—I'm so sorry Hoki-chan! And- And- I'm sorry! I… I never meant to hurt you."
My eyes ache as I watch the boy, the same boy I'd sat behind for months, break down.
The one that had always been kind to me.
And it takes me a moment to realize what he's apologizing for.
And then it hurts even more because it's... it's so stupid. He... He saved me.
And… And for a moment, I'd thought he was dead. And that had hurt so much worse.
"You- You saved me," I manage, choking on my own emotions as his lip quivers and his nose runs. He picks up a dirty cloth and blows into it loudly. I smile even as I cry at the ridiculous noise. "Mineta-kun, I… I thought you were dead. I woke up on the ground and you- you were bleeding and I didn't know why. And I thought… I thought… I thought he had killed you too!"
This time when I break down, Sensei is there, pulling me away and into his chest. He runs his hands through my hair, unraveling my braid as I cling to him.
"Breathe Rin."
I take a shuddering breath. It hurts.
I take another.
"Oh dear, maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Mineta's mother tsks, her voice soft as she passes by. I turn my face and watch numbly as she pulls Mineta into her own chest, picking up the dirty rag to dry his face. "I had just hoped… he's been so worried about her… I apologize Aizawa-kun."
Sensei sighs as I press my face into his chest.
"It was the expected," Sensei says tonelessly. "Thank you for your-"
"N-N-No!" I suddenly snarl, pushing away. I stare up at Sensei in confusion, anger, and frustration. "I… I'm sorry! I- I can control myself!"
"Rin…"
"Please?" I beg, turning to the mother now staring at me with surprise. "Please, can't I stay a little longer? Please, I just… I just want to…"
I don't know what I want to do.
I just got here though, I don't want to leave already!
But... But I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do with the awful sensation in my chest or the words I don't really know how to articulate. It hurts. Something in my chest aches, and it throbs, and it's too warm to—not like the anger or my black flames, but something softer, kinder, and so much worse. I hate it. I hate the way it makes me want to grab the smaller boy in a hug and scream to the ceiling at the top of my lungs.
But Mineta's eyes widen at my demand.
"You… You want to- to stay?" he slurs, and my lip quivers at the surprise on his face. How could he think I wouldn't? "After… After everything I did?"
I sniff and wipe my eyes, wishing I were Shinsou so I could tell him all the things I don't know how to say.
"I… Yes. Of- Of course I want to. You're... I... Mineta-kun… You saved… Mineta-kun, you're a hero."
The boy looks dumbfounded. His mother winces. Sensei makes a soft noise behind me, and I can hear Toshinori-san struggling to his feet.
"I apologize Rin-chan," Mineta's mother says, her smile wet and uncomfortable and sad. "Minoru needs rest. I'm afraid this has already been too much stimulation. You are always welcome to text, and maybe... maybe later, when this isn't all so fresh we can... you can visit again."
It's a clear dismissal.
I hang my head, and Sensei's hand presses against my shoulder.
"Forgive us," Sensei says bowing, and his hand pushes me forward as well. "Thank you for your time."
Behind us, Toshinori-san repeats the farewell, adding on his own apology and well-wishes.
.
.
.
Mineta's house was the last one.
We walk home in silence as I struggle to confront my own thoughts and emotions. I bow mechanically to Taiki-san and offer Toshinori-san a rather half-hearted hug, barely hearing any of their words. And then, when we finally arrive at the apartment, I collect Miska, a blanket, and curl up on the couch.
Sensei watches me from the doorway even as he loosens and undoes his tie.
"Do you want to talk?"
I nod.
He sighs and disappears to his room. When he returns, his hair is pulled up in a messy bun, and he's wearing his favorite sweater and sweats. He sits on his side of the sofa and I quickly move to invade his space, leaning sideways so I can rest my head against his thighs.
Miska purrs on my chest as I rub and scratch her head.
"Sensei, he… he looked fine."
Sensei sighs again as he leans back, one arm stretching across the back of the couch and the other on the armrest. He slumps backward and I watch him stare up at the ceiling in exhaustion.
"Rin, Mineta's injuries were caused by a kick to the head. The blow was hard enough it caused his brain to press against the interior of his skull and knock him out. The concussion was caused when his brain began to swell, and the injury developed in the frontal and parietal lobes. The damage is on the inside to an organ that controls multiple facets of his body. So unless you know what to look for, he would outwardly appear fine. That was the reason for the dimmed lights."
I press my head against his stomach, feeling the muscles flex.
"But he'll… he'll be alright though, right? Can't... Can't Recovery Girl fix him?"
Sensei grimaces, and that sad look returns to his eye.
"She cannot."
My stomach churns.
I sit up, twisting so I'm on my knees. Sensei watches me, his expression something more solemn than bored, and I pull at my fingers in my lap.
"Does… Does that mean he… he can't walk again? Ever?"
"No."
My shoulders sag, but Sensei doesn't look relieved.
"Most cases can walk again with intensive therapies within a few months. Mineta is young and strong enough, he will likely be able to overcome that obstacle with hard work. However, most cannot run again. And it is more than likely he will always struggle with debilitating headaches, sensitivity to light, and balance problems."
My lip quivers as I try to find the words to the question I don't know how to ask.
Sensei waits, patient as I sort through them, lips creased, his frown deepening.
"But… he'll… he'll still come back?" I whisper.
"No," Sensei says, his own voice soft. "Mineta will not be returning. He has chosen to not become a Hero."
I lean forward, wrap my arms around Sensei's neck, and cry. He sighs as he holds me close.