I don't know how to feel about Mineta.

I don't know how to feel about a lot of things.

Sensei fixes dinner and I stay curled up on the couch, quiet as the rich scent of spices and dinner wafts through the house. He's cooking like that for me, I think quietly. Something warm fills my chest again, and I stroke the kitten content to purr and curl in my lap.

Mineta will not be returning.

It hurts.

It is more likely he will always struggle with debilitating headaches, sensitivity to light, and balance problems.

He's not coming back.

Sensei calls me for dinner, and he watches me quietly as we eat, his expression bored like he's thinking about something he wants to say. He finishes first, and when I take my last bite, he takes a deep breath.

"Rin."

I pause, glance at him, and swallow what I had been chewing.

"Sir?"

"We will begin packing the apartment tomorrow and Saturday. As soon as it's all together we will move our things, I am expecting us to have everything at the school by Sunday or Monday at the latest. The rest of the students will begin moving in Wednesdays."

I nod, frowning.

"What… What about Miska?"

"What about her?" Sensei asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Is… Is she coming?"

"Yes Rin," he says flatly. "When you are able to move into the dorm room provided for you, I will expect you to take her with you. She's your responsibility."

I blink, that strange warm feeling rising up again.

"M-Mine?"

He rolls his eyes.

"She is your kitten," he says, reaching out for my plate. I hand it to him and sip my water, understanding the unspoken request to wait. He washes them both and returns, sinking into his chair and watching me carefully.

"Sir?"

"We need to address an issue that you are not aware of."

I grimace, not liking the serious tone.

His lips thin.

"While you were in the hospital, a rescue operation was conducted to save Bakugou from the League of Villains. You were not aware because of your state, but a large battle ensued that was televised."

The shadow man!

Shirakumo!

I jerk in my chair, and Sensei's eyes narrow.

"Rin?"

"Sensei I know!"

He stills, eyebrows furrowing, and the look he gives me is strange.

"You know what?" he asks cautiously.

"The shadow villain, I saw his face," I tell him eyes wide and watery. "I told Aunt Nemuri I recognized him, but I didn't remember until the forest when he appeared again. I-I'm sorry! I- I didn't- I should have-"

Sensei's expression darkens.

"Rin, stop," he says, voice taking on a graveled note as he holds up a hand. "What do you mean you recognized him? Kurogiri? The villain with the warping ability?"

I still, confusion rising in my chest, and slowly nod.

Wasn't… Was that not what we were going to discuss?

"Sensei?"

The dark look on his face doesn't falter.

"What do you mean you recognized him? His quirk overshadows his face and we don't have anything that matches it in our databases. Are you saying you saw a humanoid face or that you recognized the shadow one?"

Does… Does he not know?

"The… Sensei, his human… Sensei, do… did you not know?"

"Know?" he asks, eyebrows furrowing. The frustration in his tone evident. He shakes his head and focuses his eyes on my face. "One question at a time, when did you see his human face?"

"At… At the USJ. I… I tried to stop him with my shadows. They… They connected. It… It was awful. He was cold and… and he felt like death and… and he… he looked at me."

Sensei scowls, jaw tightening.

"Rin, if you ever identify a villain, you report it immediately. I should not be hearing about this months later."

I cringe and he closes his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I… Alright, now why is he familiar?"

He doesn't know.

I don't know how to tell him.

My chest tightens as my words dry up in my throat.

"My closest friend is Hizashi," Sensei says tightly after a long moment. "Not only because I've known him the longest, but because at sixteen he was there with me when we buried our other best friend."

He… He thinks he's dead.

He felt like death.

"Rin," Sensei says, eyebrows drawn together. "Why are you looking like that."

"You don't know," I mumble, tears already rising to the surface. I don't want to hurt him. I don't… I don't want him to be upset. "You… you're supposed to already know."

He moves his chair, turning it to face me, and gestures me over.

I hesitate.

"Rin," he says, voice softer. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you want a hug?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Why would you hurt me?" he asks, and then his eyes narrow, some invisible piece clicking in his mind. "Rin, is Kurogiri someone I know?"

I nod and he closes his eyes, breathing deeply.

"Come here. No matter who the traitor is, I promise to not be angry with you."

"T-Traitor?" I whisper, lost. I don't move.

He frowns, opens his eyes, and I can see the thoughts racing through his head.

"Yes, traitor. That is what we call people that sell information about the safety of our students to villains. I would rather not play twenty questions about this. It is not your fault that this person has chosen their current path. Whether it's a student or staff member, I promise to listen. Now, who are they?"

I stare at him.

He stares back, and I realize I'm not looking at my guardian, but at Eraserhead. The hero.

I shudder.

"You're not gonna believe me," I tell him, wishing I hadn't said anything at all. Does he think it's a staff member? A student?

Sensei's expression doesn't change.

"Stop stalling. I will listen and investigate. Who is he?"

I swallow.

Sensei's eyes narrow.

"Rin-"

"Shirakumo," I whisper, squeezing my eyes closed and flinching. I wait for the yelling to come, but it doesn't. I wait for the outrage and anger. But there's nothing.

Not even heavy breathing.

Slowly, I squint at the dark-haired man.

Sensei watches me, face entirely blank.

I cringe and immediately look down.

I can feel his eyes.

"Rin, Shirakumo is dead."

"I… I told you, you wouldn't believe me," I whisper, pulling my legs to my chest. Sensei makes a disgusted noise and stands, hands shoving in his pants as he walks into the kitchen. He leans against the counter and scowls.

"Couch," he commands.

I silently nod and push in my chair, heading there. He says nothing as I take my spot at the end of the couch, pulling my legs up and meeting his gaze over my knees.

He takes his own spot silently, sitting stiffly with a grimace.

"I do not believe you are lying," Sensei says. "But I do believe you are mistaken. What you are suggesting is impossible for multiple reasons. One, Shirakumo was crushed beneath the rubble of a collapsing building fourteen years ago. I attended the funeral. Two, he did not have a teleportation quirk, he had a cloud quirk. And Third, I saw and fought against Kurogiri at the USJ. Not only does he not act or behave anything like the boy I used to know, but he showed no recognition of me either."

I should probably just nod.

Everything he said makes sense.

But he's wrong. I've never been good about names, but I remembered his face.

I glower.

"Fine, don't believe me,"

He scowls back.

"Did you not hear me just say I don't think you were lying?"

"I saw it!" I snarl.

"And how would you know what he looks like?" Sensei asks, lips thin.

"Aunt Nemuri had a photo! I recognized him but couldn't remember from where! When I saw him- when he… when he took Bakugou I remembered. I thought you knew!"

Sensei grimaces and pulls out his phone.

I glare, realizing what he's doing.

"You're going to check with her, aren't you?" I growl.

"Yes," he snaps back.

That hurts.

"You- You really don't trust me!" I shout.

He rubs the bridge of his nose with his hand, glowering as he types out his message.

"Stop shouting. And no, I'm not asking because I don't trust you. I'm asking because I want to know what damn photo she showed you, and why the hell she thought that was a good idea."

I flinch at his curses, but he doesn't notice. He slides the phone back into his pocket a moment later and I give him my nastiest glare.

"I'd suggest you take some deep breaths," he says with narrowed eyes.

"Why don't you take some fucking breaths?" I snap back. I'm not a baby!

His jaw tightens and his nostrils flare.

"This is your warning. Stop cursing and calm down-"

"Or what? You'll put me in time out?" I gesture hysterically to the couch. "Guess what! I'm already here! I live in fucking time out."

"You have five minutes," he growls.

He stands and grabs the timer and I stand to, defiant as I move to stomp away.

He catches my arm and pulls me back.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asks.

"To my room," I hiss, trying to jerk away. The hand doesn't budge. "I'm not doing time out, I'm not five, and I'm not writing stupid essays! So let me go!"

"Sit back down."

"No!"

Smoke and flames lick at my arms and Sensei's eyes turn red in response. His hair rises to float around his head as my quirk disappears. And I hate it. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

"That's enough."

I snatch the timer from his hand and throw it across the room. Or at least I try to. He catches my other hand and releases my arm. In seconds he has the timer back and he glowers when I try to take it again.

"We do not throw thing," he says sharply. "If you don't want to be treated like a child, then stop throwing tantrums."

"It's not a fucking tantrum!" I snarl, stomping my foot. He pulls me back to the couch, and I stumble as he pushes me onto the cushions.

"Five minutes-"

"Fuck you!"

"If you don't stop cussing," he sneers. "I'm going to have you writing lines out of the dictionary. Close your mouth and breathe through your nose."

I glare and he glowers back, arms crossed over his chest. His hair falls back against his shoulders and his eyes turn black.

He doesn't move until the timer goes off.

"Do you need-"

"Fuck you."

His lips thin.

"Five more minutes."

I watch as he resets the timer and waits. I consider getting up and shoving past him. I don't. I have no doubt he'd shove me back onto the couch. So I grab the blanket and pull it over my shoulders.

"I hate you," I snarl loud enough for him to hear, rolling over so my back is to him and I can't see his face. I can imagine it well enough. "You treat me like I'm dumb, or five, and you never believe me about anything! You're stupid and- and your punishments are stupid."

He doesn't say anything, and I glare at the couch cushions with tears in my eyes.

"I hate this stupid couch and your stupid timer and your stupid face!"

I can hear him make a huffing noise and I glance backward to see his arms still folded, his eyebrow raised. I glare and make a noise as I turn back towards the cushion, wondering what he would do if I set the stupid thing on fire.

He'd put out your quirk.

"I hope you have dry eyes," I snarl. "I hope they itch."

"It's more of a throb," Sensei says darkly.

"I'm not talking to you."

"Oh? Was that aimed at the couch? Forgive me, I didn't know it had eyes."

I flush, annoyed. The timer beeps and I don't turn around.

"You're not going to do the breathing exercises are you?" Sensei asks.

I suck in a loud breath and blow it out between my teeth.

"There."

"Very mature."

I sit up and glare at him.

"If we're done here, I'm going to my room," I tell him sourly. "I've served my time out, sir."

Sensei's lip twitches.

Does he think this is funny?

"We still need to address the issue that started all of this."

I shrink back into the couch.

"Damn."

His amusement withers as his eye twitches.

"Stop cursing."

"You do it," I sneer.

"I curse at you multiple times a day?" he asks wryly.

"You just did it about Aunt Nemuri," I point out with a scoff.

He makes disgusted noise in his throat.

"We are not having this argument. It's pointless and you're being illogical. I have asked you to stop and now I am telling you. Continue to curse and face the consequences. Returning to the original subject, there was a fight between All Might and villain in the attempt to rescue Bakugou. The fight was televised, and All Might's civilian form was exposed to the world."

"Civilian form?" I ask as I glare at Sensei. "What do you mean form?"

"All Might's hero persona had a time limit. This was kept under wraps for safety purposes from the students. However, his time limit has now been exhausted. All Might has been forced to retire."

Something uncertain knots itself in my stomach as I narrow my eyes.

"Why are you telling me?" I ask slowly.

"Your peers will now be aware of this change. My goal in telling you now is to prevent an episode later."

"Why would I care?" I ask, even more suspicious. "I don't like All Might and I don't care what his stupid civilian form looks like."

"Because Toshinori is concerned you will reject him out of principal."

I…

My mouth drops and Sensei's face doesn't twitch to amusement.

"That's not funny," I snarl, all of my earlier anger rising again.

"Considering it wasn't a joke, I didn't expect it to be."

I clamber off the couch, snarling, and shove my way past him. My shoulder slams into him, and this time he doesn't catch me. He watches, expression disapproving as I stomp to my room. And I pause outside the door to offer a nasty glare. His eyes narrow, mouth opening likely to tell me more rules.

I turn my back and slam the door.

.

.

.

Toshinori is All Might.

I pull up YouTube and nearly hurl.

I watch in shock and anger and fury as my huge, muscled teacher fights against a bald guy in a suit. I watch as Bakugou launches himself in the air, and a group of weirdo people that are very obviously my classmates catch him. I watch as the man that terrifies me falls apart. As his muscles literally deteriorate and disappear.

And he becomes the kind, blue-eyed stranger that I like.

All Might is Toshinori-san.

And they knew.

I snarl and swear, and in the confines of my room I rip up my notebooks, needing to destroy something. Because every single one of them fucking knew and- and-

"You… don't like All Might?" Toshinori asks, his voice oddly strained.

"Not really," I answer quietly with a lopsided smile. The gaunt man frowns and comes to sit by me, ignoring Sensei who he no doubt came to visit.

"Why's that? He's the number one hero!"

Sensei stood there! He just stood there and let me… let me embarrass myself! He knew I didn't like All Might and he knew- he knew! And he just pretended like it was fine! He just… He just…

I rip out another page from my notebook and shred it to pieces, wanting nothing more than to burn the stupid paper, to burn everything to the ground. I don't.

Sensei would just put me back on the couch.

Like this is my fault!

I pull out my phone and then pause as another realization hits.

I snarl.

Midoriya knew. He had too. He knew, and I told him, and he said nothing-

I pull up his contact and start typing.

You fucking bastard. You knew All Might was Toshinori-san and you just let me-

Let me what?

Let me trust him. Let me trust you?

I snarl and delete the message, ripping out another three sheets and tearing them into pieces. Midoriya knew. Aizawa knew. Yamada knew. Aunt—Midnight knew! She even tried to cover it up at the stupid baby shower and-

I glare and look for the stupid rabbit, wanting to tear it to pieces too.

It's not on my bed.

Sensei has it.

I pull my pillow off my bed and scream into it.

I shove the pillow aside and pick up my phone, turning to Yamada-sensei instead.

I hate you. You're a fucking liar.

It doesn't take long to get a response.

It's a wide-eyed emoji that just pisses me off further.

Ouch! That's not very nice!

Neither are you. You knew he was All Might and you didn't say anything! I trusted you! I hate you. I hate all of you!

I toss my phone aside, not caring if it breaks. I roll over onto the piles of paper to scream into my pillow again.

I bar my teeth when he actually responds.

Rin, that wasn't my secret to tell. I understand you're hurt right now, but you're being unfair.

I don't want to hear that.

I glare.

Go to hell.

I can see the little check that he read it, but there's no response. Good. I hope it hurts. I hope he cried. I hope-

"Rin," says Sensei's voice from the hall. "Come here."

"Fuck you."

Sensei snorts, and even from my room, I can hear him grumbling in the hall. He knocks on the door and I glare at it.

"Rin, I'm coming in."

I wait for the door to open up and throw the pillow at his face. He catches it and drops it to the floor before pausing. His expression twists into annoyance when he takes in the mess on the floor of torn and ripped up paper, eye twitching and lips curling sharply.

"You're worse than a kitten," he says sourly. Then he holds out his hand. "Phone. You can have it back when you can behave civilly."

I chuck it at his head.

He catches that too, nostrils flaring.

"Do not throw things. Do not throw phones. They break-"

"Tough shit," I snarl, interrupting. "Leave me the hell alone."

Sensei glares and stuffs the phone in his pocket.

"Get up, if you have this much energy, you can train."

I stand and glower, more than pleased with the idea of hitting something—or rather someone.

I'm gonna punch him in his stupid face!

"Sure thing, Sensei."

.

.

.

We end up at a park even as the afternoon sun settles against the horizon. Sensei motions for me to stretch and I ignore him. When several minutes pass and I still refuse, he makes a face.

"If you do this in school, I will expel you," he says flatly.

"Are you going to expel me now?" I snap, furious.

"From your home?" he says coldly. "No. I am going to help you work out all this pent-up aggression."

He moves his legs slightly apart and raises his arms. Then, without another word, he gestures me forward.

I don't even hesitate.

My feet pound against the ground as I attack, hands curling into fists as I strike towards his face. He catches the hand and blocks the kick that follows swiftly after. He doesn't grunt like Midoriya would, instead he pushes me back and strikes forward.

He's fast, but I can tell he's slowing himself purposefully.

And I hate it.

I hate being so weak.

I hate being helpless!

"Stop leaving yourself open," Sensei says sourly. He dodges my strike and taps my exposed side three times. "Don't throw yourself forward without a thought, you need to think when you fight or you're too easy to read."

I drop to the ground and kick at his legs. He moves back, easily avoiding them, and waits for me to rise.

"Stay on your feet if you can't transition more quickly-"

"Stop talking!" I snarl.

"Make me," he growls.

I can't. He drags out the fight for nearly twenty minutes, correcting everything from my attacks to my rolls. And no matter how hard I push myself, I can't win. I can't do anything but batter uselessly against him. By the time he stops, I'm bent forward with my hands on my knees and exhausted—a different kind of exhaustion than the one I've felt all week. Drool leaking from my mouth, sweat dripping down my head and back, and heaving. My entire body feels sore, hurts.

And I like it.

I swipe at the droplets on my face as Sensei watches me, both hands in his pockets, not even winded.

"Your stamina is awful."

He sounds like Yamada-sensei.

I glare.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Should we keep going?"

Just the thought of it makes me want to hurl.

"N-No," I choke out, breathless.

"You will apologize to Hizashi tomorrow. It's not his fault you're angry. Don't take your emotions out on others."

"He lied," I manage. "You all lied."

"Would you like me to tell your classmates about what your parents did to you?" Sensei asks callously.

I flinch.

"W-Wha-"

"Should I tell Vlad's class that your family abused you?" he asks again, lips curled.

"N-No!"

"Why?" he asks, stepping closer. When I look down, refusing to answer, he squats in front of me. His hand reaches out and pushes my sweaty head back so we're eye-level. "Why not Rin?

I shake off his hand and glare.

"It- It's none- I- I d-don't know them!"

"What you mean is that kind of secret makes you vulnerable," Sensei says sharply. "It wouldn't matter if I told them your name or your favorite food but giving away knowledge about something as personal and painful as that is different. And yet you would demand All Might do exactly that. He doesn't owe you his secrets and I'm not obligated to share them with you."

I suck in large gulps of air, shaking.

Sensei scowls.

"Your behavior this afternoon is abhorrent," he continues. I flinch, and he meets my eyes evenly. "You are hurt, and you have every right to be angry and frustrated. In these last six months, you have been hurt more than most will ever experience in their lifetime. In the last week, you have been betrayed by your closest sibling, you have fought against a man that attempted to torture and break you, today you found out your friend has been injured in a way he will never recover from, and All Might's identity is just one more item to add to the long list of wounds. I understand that. But this is life, Rin. This is the life of a hero that you keep chasing. It isn't glorious battles or saving people all the time. It's painful and vicious and more bitter than anyone ever wants to admit. You tell me you do this to protect others, but here you are lashing out at those very people you claim to be doing all of this for."

I swallow as his eyes narrow.

"Mineta is not dead, he is alive and has opportunities. I understand your guilt and frustration, but he is alive. However, the next battle may not end the same way. The next time it may be Mina or Tsuyu or Bakugou, and they may not be as lucky. When All Might, the most powerful hero in history, has to retire with only half his organs, it's an indication of just how dangerous this job is. If you continue on this path you will watch your comrades die, you will watch them get hurt, and you will have to keep going. You will fail to save people. You will make the wrong choice and it will have consequences, usually in lives. This is the reality of what you are pursuing, and you cannot lash out like this every time things get overwhelming, regardless of what you are going through. Is protecting Yamada worth this? Is protecting Shinsou? Quit Rin or face your issues head-on. But you will not tear down others because you're hurting. You don't have that right."

Sensei reaches down then, and I cringe waiting for the hit.

But it doesn't come.

And when I look up his eyes are sad.

"I will help you," he says, hand still outstretched and open. "I will do everything in my power to help you, but you have to want this. You have to work for it. Healing isn't a magic pill or a quirk. It's a choice, and one only you can make. Stop fighting me and let me help you. I promise you, if you will trust me, I will not abandon you."

Tears swim in my eyes as his dark eyes peer back down.

My homeroom teacher, with a scruffy beard and dark bags under his eyes. A hero.

He holds the hand steady at my face.

It doesn't make any sense.

Nobody ever cares.

He doesn't move, patient as always.

Why?

Why does he want me when no one else ever did?

I reach, fingers ghosting across his own.

"I... I don't know if I can," I whisper, the ache inside and out. The tears spill across my cheeks.

"Try," he answers clearly, voice gruff.

I grasp his hand, clinging to him, and he pulls me upright and into his chest.

In the warm, summer darkness, he holds me. And as long as today has felt, as horrible as this week has been, as awful as everything has felt... the calloused pressure of his fingers in my hair, the coarse prickle of his beard on my scalp, and the safe scent of his shirt—it all mean so much more than it ever has before.

.

.

.

That night, when we return I clean the paper from the floor of my room and then go to take a shower. Sensei keeps my phone, offering to return it in the morning, he also places a dictionary on the kitchen table alongside a thick stack of papers. I wince and crawl into my bed, wanting nothing more than to pretend that today never existed. He returns the rabbit as he shuts off my lights, the bed dipping as he sits beside me on the bed. I close my eyes and roll sideways, curling around the soft bunny, the brush of its fur against my lips.

"Rin," he says quietly.

I rub my eyes, exhausted, and sink into the sheets, feeling his hand move through my hair.

That's nice...

"Sir?" I slur.

"I love you."

I yawn hugely and struggle to open my eyes. They're so heavy. Instead, I lean into the touch, the whispers of sleep already filling my mind.

"Huh?"

"Goodnight Rin," he answers, and the bed squeaks as he leans forward. I feel his lips brush against my head.

"G'Night," I think I whisper back.