Bonus Chapter: A Lie to Comfort

Yes, another little bonus chapter… Not even gonna think about the timeline with the original chapters anymore, just hope you enjoy it :)

Warning: A bit of harsh (but totally justified) language ahead.

-.-.-.-

As an Angel, Castiel was not supposed to feel guilt. He was supposed to feel devotion to his Father and complete faith in the decisions of the Host. It was a tranquil, peaceful existence, even in times of war, because his faith was so all-encompassing that he felt no inner turmoil, no doubt, no questions.

No involvement.

That all changed the day he dragged a soul from Hell. He quickly felt sympathy for what Dean had gone through and how the hunter tore himself apart over it. His dedication to his younger brother and to saving people was admirable, especially for a being with so little power.

However, Dean was not the only source of Castiel's change of heart. For the first time in centuries, he was walking among humanity. Not just for a quick mission, but actually walking, seeing, experiencing. Even amidst angelic war, he observed parents caring for their children, lovers quarrelling, small kindnesses exchanged between strangers, and cars honking in frustration. When he called humanity a work of art, he truly meant it.

All these experiences awoke emotions within him, some easy to identify and others completely incomprehensible.

The first that he identified was doubt. It was easy to analyse, as he related the emotion to all the questions that were spinning in his head. The next was guilt. Also easily identified as it quickly followed doubt. He felt guilty for questioning the orders from the Host, knowing that they should be just and yet feeling pulled in a different direction.

Other emotions were more complex, like anger. Dean Winchester could infuriate him in a way no other being ever had. His stubbornness, his disobedience, his recklessness. But it shouldn't anger him. He should remain calm, collected and demand respect. Except he didn't. Which lead to confusion.

When he rebelled against Heaven, he was blessed by the Apocalypse. It took up all of his time and provided a clear mission amongst the chaos. He rarely had time to truly feel his emotions, just fighting, fighting, fighting.

But when the Apocalypse was stopped and Castiel was faced with possibly taking over Heaven, he had to come to terms with who he had become and who he wanted to be. In which direction, he wanted to guide the Angels.

Needless to say, he had not succeeded. An Angel doing soul searching, only having developed emotions two years prior, had been a catastrophe waiting to happen.

And what a catastrophe it had been.

The lying, the deceive, the constant questioning and battle. The resulting slaughtering of his kin. Nothing haunted him more than that year of his millennia long life.

Dean had asked him why he didn't come to him. Why he had deceived them all. The hunter's pleading eyes was a new level of pain for the Angel. Castiel had wanted nothing more than for Dean to retire and no longer be in constant danger from every evil in the world. Yet, he learned that the lies hurt Dean more than disturbing his retirement would have.

It was a lesson hard learned, and the theme of honesty would hunt their relationship from then on.

That is why Castiel was stunned when Dean asked him to lie. Not to work a case, not to get information, not to feign a representative of the law, but to comfort the hunter.

They were sitting on the hood of the Impala, lit up by red and blue lights flickering around them in the dark night. Normally they would have fled the scene, but someone must have heard the screams of the would-have-been-victims and called the cops. The authorities had arrived just minutes after the ghost had gone up in flames. Therefore, they had to stay and give a statement. "We just heard the screams and came to help, officer." Dean innocently explained with no sincerity.

Dean and Castiel had come to protect the family that was most likely the next target of a vengeful spirit while Sam dug up the body and burned the remains. Now, they just waited for the officers to allow them to leave so they could meet up with the younger Winchester and get out of town before any more questions were asked.

They were looking at the family, who were standing on the porch of the house, trying to explain why the police had been called. The father was clearly shaken, stealing looks at Dean while he stuttered an explanation. The police officers were picking up on his nerves and seemed to try to guide the mother and son away from the father to get separate statements.

It was probably not the first time that the authorities had been called to this specific address.

"I'm telling you, Cas. I don't know if we should leave or go finish the spirit's job."

Cas studied Dean. The hunter was clenching his jaw, anger evident in his features. If looks could kill, the father of the family would not need to be haunted by a ghost to fall victim to an early death.

"We are not here to decide who lives and who dies." Cas tried, though admittedly half-heartedly.

"But that doesn't mean we should save evil sons of bitches like him." Dean lowered his head while he kept his stare at the father, as a bull readying itself to attack. His hands fisted to the point of his knuckles turning white.

Castiel sighed. He barely knew what he could say to appease the hunter. He understood Dean's anger.

The ghost had been of a young girl who had died after long-time abuse from her parents. In her honour, the town had opened a counselling office where children and teenagers could seek help. They had even kept a neckless from the young girl, with a pendant of a dragonfly, as a symbol of the office. However, it had become a hunting ground for the ghost to find victims deserving of punishment for how they treated their children, leading to painful deaths scattered all over town.

In this case, the father was physically abusing both his wife and son. The son had been the last child to visit the counselling office, and when he denied talking to any authorities, the ghost had decided to make sure the boy was never hurt again.

In the short time between the spirit going up in flames and the police arriving, Dean had ripped the father a new one, all but hitting the man, though he shoved him quite forcefully against a wall. If the ghost didn't scare the man, the hunter surely did.

"I mean…" Dean continued. "If these are the kinds of people we save, what the hell is the point?"

"Well, we… We save people-"

"Innocent people, Cas! Not child-abusing assholes!"

"We brought peace to-"

"She was killing parents who hurt their kids! Kids that would be better off if we had never come here!"

"What do you want me to say, Dean!?" The Angel's uncharacteristic raise of voice stopped the argument.

Dean turned his head to the clouded sky, closing his eyes while taking a few deep breaths, and then; "Lie to me."

"What?" Castiel whipped his head around, studying the hunter's profile.

"Lie to me, Cas. Just… anything…" Dean's voice faltered, and he looked back at the family, avoiding Castiel's eyes. "Never mind…"

Cas frowned, looking over Dean's profile, trying to find any clues as to what the hunter was asking him. He surely didn't want Cas to say the opposite of what he actually meant. That they did this for the sake of evil, to hurt people or for personal gratification.

So, if Dean was not looking for falsehood, maybe he was looking for… hope?

"Tomorrow will be a better day. Mr. Wilson will have learned his lesson and will treat his family with love from now on." Before Dean could interrupt, Castiel quickly continued with things that he hoped Dean would appreciate. "When we wake up in the morning, the sun will be shining. The temperature will be perfect for driving. The coffee at the Gas'n'Sip will be warm and fulfilling. They will have your favourite bacon bagel. Sam will allow you to play your music without complaint. We will have burgers for lunch. We will not find a new case because evil has left Earth, and all is calm and quiet. We can just do whatever we want. Life will be happy and easy."

As Castiel spoke, a smile slowly bloomed on Dean's face when he realised what the Angel was doing, especially as the Castiel's predictions became more and more exaggerated. He finally looked back at Castiel. "And unicorns?"

Castiel frowned. "You want there to be unicorns?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Then, there will be plenty of unicorns." Dean laughed, shaking his head at the image. Castiel smiled back.

Dean lightly bumped Castiel's shoulder with his own. "Liar."

-.-.-.-

Fellow Buffy fans will probably have caught on to the source of inspiration: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2, Episode 7; Lie to Me.