Chapter 18
Eating dinner with Susan and Seamus had felt very surreal to Hermione. Dinners at Grimmauld place had been a somber affair, with scant dishes that never seemed to fill her up. Conversations were always bleak, if there was any at all. Dinners when Hermione had been on her own had been even worse, consisting of what ever she could forage for or steal. There had been no conversation save the one in her head, and she was beginning to loathe her own company after a few days of that. But Susan had prepared a feast for them, with a glazed roast that almost made Hermione cry when she bit into it-not that that was a hard feat to do these days. They had rosemary mashed potatoes swimming with thick gravy, warm biscuits smeared with salted butter, green beans cooked with bacon fat. It had been so rich that Hermione could only eat a few small bites at time. Their conversation centered around what Susan and Seamus had gone through in the conversion program, and what they had done after they passed. Susan worked in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and Seamus had been taken on as a Broom Makers apprentice, which he talked about with a deep sense of pride.
Draco said very little during the conversation, but he wasn't cold and withdrawn. He nodded his head as Seamus spoke, made sympathetic faces to Susan as she explained to them how she had to spent a day in Azkaban when the Department for Lawful Re-introduction into Wizarding Society (As the Conversion program was dolefully named) decided to thoroughly search her home. He even clapped Hermione amicably on the back once as she listened, aghast, to Seamus explain that Justin Finch-Fletchley had been executed after failing out of the program. All-in-all, It had been the most normal-feeling occasion Hermione had been a part of for the better part of a year, and it filled her heart in a way she couldn't quite explain.
When their plates were cleared, and the left overs were put away, Seamus brought out a bottle of fire whisky, pouring them each a glass. Hermione had eyed it wearily. Last time she had drank fire whiskey, she had been on the run with Ron. He had pilfered it, somehow, and they had drank the bottle while hiding in an abandoned tree stand, the kind used for hunting deer. Hermione had always been a light weight, and at the time she had been carrying the mandrake leaf in her mouth. She had gotten so woefully drunk that she had swallowed the mandrake leaf, and then threw it up. She winced at the memory.
"To all those lost," Seamus had said, somberly, holding his glass out for a toast. Hermione tentatively grabbed her glass and clinked it against the others. It had been so long since she had had any alcohol, that one sip of it made her head light. Don't finish it, She warned herself. Should they need to act quickly, it wouldn't do for her to be impaired.
Draco had thrown his head back and downed his share in seconds, as did Seamus, and their glasses hit the table with a loud clink.
"I think it would be safe for ya' ta stay here, at least until tomorrow. We can give you any information ya' may be needin' about the ministry, if we're privy to it, of course, maybe find a good direction for ya' ta go in." Seamus had said, refilling his own glass. He gestured to the bottle towards Draco, who nodded and held his glass out for Seamus to fill.
"I suppose you will be needing to put a plan together. You don't have to tell us what you guys plan to do, actually I would prefer not to know, in the event something goes wrong." Susan interjected, taking a delicate sip of her own drink.
"Thank you. Thank you both so much. I do have some questions," Hermione responded, taking a swallow of her drink. Slow down on that fire whiskey, idiot, her mental voice piped up.
"Perhaps we can do that in the morning, yea? It's been so long since i've had a good drink, and all i've been listening to is you talk for days, Granger, and it's getting rather tiresome," Draco said with smirk, winking at her. The environment must have done something to enliven Draco, because his good humor caught Hermione off guard. Seamus stifled a laugh, and Susan rolled her eyes good natured-ly.
She mulled it over. Time was running so thin, circumstances were so dire. They didn't have the time, they couldn't spare a moment, really, to do something so inane as drinking socially. But she was so tried, and her mind was so burnt out. She supposed it wouldn't be the end of the world to take a night off. It could be the end of the world, though. For me at least. Death Eaters could come swarm this place at any time. More fool, me, if I put my guard down. She thought logically. You are turning into Mad-eye Moody. A smaller voiced said, causing her to sigh outwardly.
"Fine, we can discuss it in the morning, I suppose," Hermione said, half dismayed, half content.
"Then drink your drink Granger," Draco said, nodding to her still full glass. She smirked at him, but took another swallow anyways. The warm cinnamon taste slid down her throat, making her insides feel warm and her head a little hazy. It was not unpleasant, she reflected.
Hermione turned at caught Seamus and Susan exchanging a meaningful look. She shrugged it off. Let them think what they want.
"We only have one guest bedroom, and I would offer to fix up the couch but sometimes Hannah floos over in the mornings so we can go to work together." Susan said with a small frown. "I suppose I could fix the attic up, maybe."
"We can share a room. I wouldn't want to put you out at all, " Hermione said, dismissively. Draco can just sleep on floor.
"Don't be fooled, Granger just wants to get me alone and vulnerable," Draco said pompously, grinning at Susan. With some alcohol in his system, he seemed to be warming up.
"Oh, sodd off, Draco," Hermione responded, rolling her eyes dramatically. Her head swam a little with the whiskey, and she was surprised she didn't feel disgusted by his joke. "You're welcome to the attic than, you absolute git."
"I'm warning ya, it's got spiders," Seamus said, downing his glass casually. Susan laughed from beside him, her cheeks blushing pink from the whiskey.
"I think I'd rather have the spiders," Hermione answered, taking another swallow of her drink. She was shocked to see that she had finished it.
Seamus snorted into his hand and Susan giggled prettily.
"Didn't realize you were into that sort of thing," Draco responded, eyes shining mischievously, as he, too, laughed.
It feels nice to pretend to be normal. Hermione thought giddily, holding her glass out to be refilled. Susan had moved her chair closer to Seamus and was leaning her head on his shoulder, yawning.
"I think I need to get this lil' lady up to bed before she falls asleep on the table," Seamus said lovingly, using his free hand to stroke Susan's hair. It was a cozy scene, and Hermione couldn't help but feel that green jealous monster well back up in her chest. She wanted what they had. She wanted a complete life, with love and security. No doubt like they did, which was probably what made them give up their fight and go through the conversion program. Hermione doubted very much that she would be accepted into that conversion program, and even if she was accepted, she would never go through with it.
Seamus cleared the table with his wand, and threw the now-empty bottle of fire whiskey into the sink.
"We would appreciate it if you didn't come out of the room in the morning before we give you the all clear, just in case," Susan said apologetically, stifling a yawn.
"Of course," Hermione said. Am I slurring? She wondered self consciously. "Thank you again, for everything. For taking us in. and Listening," She added, feeling her cheeks grow warm.
"I'm just happy ta see ya. I feel like i'm getting another chance ta help," Seamus told her solemnly, taking one of her hands in his own. Hermione felt her heart warm at that. We are capable.
Hermione sat back in her chair and watched Seamus and Susan disapear into their bedroom. She yawned herself, putting her hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. She felt a little dizzy and closing her eyes did nothing to calm that.
"I'm surprised you know how to loosen up, Granger," Draco said humorously, his gray eyes meeting her brown ones.
"What you don't know about me could fill a book," She answered back contemptuously, her mind going to her newly found animagus state. Oh, how I wish I could transform. Draco arched his eyebrow at her.
"Do tell, Granger," He said, arching an eyebrow and leaning toward her. The whiskey had clearly gotten to him, too. His eye were heavily lidded, and his face looked flushed. When he spoke there was the smallest slurr to his words, that Hermione almost didn't catch. For some reason Hermione tensed up. The moment felt too intimate- too close. Her brain felt soupy. "What could the prim and proper Hermione Granger possibly have hidden away?" He prodded, smiling slyly. He seemed to be looking through her brown eyes, right down to her soul. His eyes are so startling, She realized with a start. She had never examined them this attentively before.
"Well, there is one thing i've been bottling up," Hermione said after a moment, watching Draco's face move closer to hear her low tone. "I caught Filch snogging Trelawney in the dungeons in 6th year," she waited till he was within inches of her and blurted out.
Draco fell back into his chair, grabbing his stomach and laugh so hard Hermione feared they would wake Seamus and Susan. But than she started laughing, too. The tension cleared and that weird feeling of being too close passed from Hermione.
After their laughing had died down, they both started yawning. The day had been long and tense, and even though the evening had been light and ordinary, tomorrow would be a new day that would need to be addressed with the same determination and commitment that Hermione had worn through the whole war so far.