Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and Yu-Gi-Oh.
Author's note: This is dedicated to LoupDreams, Zelda of the Bedroom, Jack Whack, Whankin' David, Eva larsen III and Jessica Swartz.
Author's note 2: Isaiah Flamez is NOT allowed to read my stories!
Author's note 3: Leave only positive reviews, please.
Jade's path
Jade West is a powerful duelist.
Not as powerful as Aria Montgomery, but still very good.
The deck Jade use is a Demonic Fire deck, which means it is focused around Grand Pyrus Demon, a monster with 5200 in attack.
In order to become so good at Duel Monsters, Jade has trained on her own.
She never went to Duel Academy, because she grew up poor.
She is now an adult and not poor anymore, but is now too old for the Academy.
Because she was poor, Jade does not own a dueling motorcycle, like those Hanna and Mona own.
Jade doesn't want one though.
She prefer regular standing duels.
"I challenge you." says a girl as she walk up to Jade.
"And that I accept." says Jade.
Jade and the girl draw their 5-card opening hands.
"First I play a card face down and then I summon Zenit Fire in attack mode." says Jade.
"Okay...uh...I summon Flying Kegulo in defense mode..." says the girl.
"Not much. Zenit Fire, attack...Central Glame." says Jade.
Zenot Fire destroys Flying Kegulo.
"And now I summon Lava Lady in attack mode." says Jade.
"Good card." says the girl.
"Indeed." says Jade.
"My turn. I set a monster in defense..." says the girl.
"That card won't stay face down for long 'cause I play my spell card Defense Augioto, which force any face down defense monsters into face up attack." says Jade.
It is revelaed that the girl's monster is Anukunu Soldier.
"Here we go. Lava Lady, attack, Noble Flame!" says jade.
Lava Lady destroys Anukunu Soldier.
"No..." says the girl.
"Loser." says Jade.
Jade's Zenit Fire attack the girl directly.
"NO!" scream the girl in pain and fear.
"You can never win." says Jade.
"I play Viclante Guard...in defense mode." says the girl.
"I summon my Pyrus Imp in attack mode and then I equip him with Volcanic Upgrade Gamma, bringing his attack up to 2205." says Jade.
The girl gasp in fear.
"Alright, my imp. Go and attack, Sneaky Fire Slam!" says Jade.
Pyrus Imp destroys Viclante Guard.
"That's not all...Lava Lady, attack the little wimp directly." says Jade.
Lava Lady attack the girl directly.
"NO!" scream the girl in pain and fear.
Jade simply laugh.
"I summaon Budangi Soldier in defense mode..." says the girl.
"You can't make a difference with such a weak card. Pyrus Imp, attack." says Jade.
Pyrus Imp destroys Budangi Soldier.
"Now...I play Axeelah Soldier in defense and then play a card face down too." says the girl.
"Finally a move that doesn't stink like a fart. C'mon, imp...attack that thing." says Jade.
"You set off my trap...Spindelia Ascelente!" says the girl.
The trap card block the attack from Jade's imp when the girl send a card from her hand to the Graveyard.
"Interesting. I hope you know the negative effect of that card, girl." says Jade.
"Me have to skip one turn. I know that." says the girl.
"Sexy. I summon Fire Druid." says Jade.
The girl gasp in fear.
"Be prepared. Since I have 4 pure fire monsters on my side of the field I can tribute all of them to summon the best monster I have...welcome, my amazing Grand Pyrus Demon." says Jade.
"I'm little...me can never battle such a rare monster card. I give up!" says the girl in fear.
"Fuck no!" says Jade as she push a secret button on her duel disk.
That button is a special over-ride button that means her opponents cannot give up.
"What?" says the girl when she discover that she can't switch off her duel disk.
"You're stuck in this duel, kid. And now I'll play my demon's special ability, which allows him to get rid of your defense and then he'll end this." says Jade.
Grand Pyrus Demon removes the girl's defense monster from play and then attack the girl directly.
Jade is the winner.
"See? I knew you were weak. It's over." says Jade.
The girl starts to cry, but Jade doesn't care.
Jade walk away.
20 minutes later.
Jade walk into the exotic garden, a place she actually visit often.
"Duel me, fat idiot." says Jade as she sees a fat lesbian who relax under a big tree.
"Sure, babe!" says the lesbian as she stand up fast for such a fat human.
Jade activate her duel disk and so does the fat lesbo.
"I'll go first. I summon my Pyrus Imp in attack mode and then I equip him with Volcanic Upgrade Gamma, bringing his attack up to 2205." says Jade.
"My monster's goin' to be Fat Mama Slut in defense mode." says the fat lesbo.
"Kind of weird monster, but it's defense is pretty damn solid." says Jade.
"Yup." says the fat lesbo.
"Don't think I'll fall for your tricks. I shall not attack this turn." says Jade.
Jade place a card face down.
"I summon Masturbating Big Boy in defense mode." says the fat lesbo.
"Your deck's got an obvious flaw. And that falw I'm going to take advantage of." says Jade.
"How?" says the fat lesbo, who clearly is not smart.
"Let me show you, loser. First I play Erotic Aromatics. This spell force all your monsters to be horny for mine, making them unable to defend even a shit. Then I let my imp destroy one of your monsters. Attack the damn masturbating one." says Jade.
Pyrus Imp destroys Masturbating Big Boy.
"Uh...me play the spell card Extracium Pedimenta." says the fat lesbo.
The fat lesbo get to draw an extra card.
She then summon Raw Fuck in attack mode.
"Raw Fuck? I have to admit it, that's a pretty good card. Sure, it's low in both defense and attack, but it's ability is what makes it better than crappy." says Jade.
"I'll win." says the fat lesbo.
"Are you sure? I don't think so. I summon Little Fire Girl and use her to attack your Raw Fuck." sasy Jade.
Little Fire Girl destroys Raw Fuck, but Little Fire Girl die too as a result of Raw Fuck's special ability.
"I use my spell card Remove Acusium to destroy your remaining monster. And now, imp, direct attack!" says Jade.
Pyrus Imp attack the fat lesbo directly.
"Ahhhh, fuckin' crap!" scream th fat lesbo in pain.
"You can never defeat me." says Jade.
"I summon Genus Akuudo in attack mode." says the fat lesbo.
"I summon Flying Kapa, also in attack mode. And then I use the spell card Polymerization to fuse them together. Welcome, Flying Flame Imp. He has 2630 in attack. Flamin' Sky Attack!" says Jade.
Flying Flame Imp destroys Genus Akuudo.
"Nice." says Jade.
"Not at all. I summon Horny Goblin in defense mode." says the fat lesbo.
"He's weak. Imp, kill the goblin." says Jade.
Flying Flame Imp destroys Horny Goblin.
"I now play the spell card Mystical Thief, which allows me to grab a level 4 monster from your deck and use it as my own." says Jade.
On the screen on her duel disk, Jade can see a list of every level 4 monster in the fat lesbo's deck.
Jade pick Dirty Whore and summon it in defense mode.
"No! My whore...give her back..." says the fat lesbo.
"She's mine now." says Jade.
"I set a monster in defense-shit." says the fat lesbo.
"My turn. I equip your whore with Orgasmic Fire and then switch her to attack mode. Then I play Mystic Revailos to flip your monster face up. Ah, it's a weak one. And finally...imp, kill that perverted thing." says Jade.
"No!" says the fat lesbo as her monster is killed.
"And that's not all. Remember the whore? She can now strike directly. Attack." says Jade.
Dirty Whore attack the fat lesbo directly.
"I summon Ancient Fucker in attack mode." says the fat lesbo.
"He cannot kill my imp." says Jade.
"True, but he can kill the whore once I equip him with Ancient Viagra." says the fat lesbo.
Ancient Fucker rape Dirty Whore to death.
"Okay. That doesn't even mean a shit to me. I summon Azuurio in attack mode and then I play Hot Fusion to fuse him with my imp, creating the monster known as Lord Azuurio, a monster with 3110 in attack." says Jade.
"NO!" scream the fat lesbo as Lord Azuurio attack her directly.
"You'll lose this duel." says Jade.
"I summon Crazy Masturbata in defense mode." says the fat lesbo.
"I summon Blazin' Devil in attack mode by sending 3 cards in my hand to the graveyard." says Jade.
"What?" says the fat lesbo.
"Then I play a card face down." says Jade.
"I tribute Crazy Masturbata to bring in Big Masturbata Babe." says the fat lesbo.
"Your fat masturbating monster stand no chance against Lord Azuurio." says Jade.
"Maybe so, but I don't give up." says the fat lesbo as she play a card face down.
"Lord Azuurio, attack...Sadistic Flame!" says Jade.
Big Masturbata Babe is destroyed.
"Shit. My monster's dead, but ya also set off my very sexy trap...Forced Masturbation. This card force your monster to masturbate, which means he can't battle." says the fat lesbo.
"Damn...a perma-trap." says Jade.
"Exactly and now I use my spell card Magic of the Rising Moon to summon my best monster...the great Dark Fuck Dragon, a monster with 2800 in attack." says the fat lesbo.
"I stop him with my trap card, Fire Stand Strong. This card stop your monsters as long as I have a fire monster on my side and as you can see I do." says Jade.
"Fuck!" says the fat lesbo in anger.
"My turn now. I activate my devil's special ability. He's now replaced with his older brother Inferno Devil." says Jade.
"Holy shit...your deck's fuckin' strong!" says the fat lesbo.
"Yeah, what the fuck did you expect?" says Jade.
Lord Azzurio destroys Dark Fuck Dragon, ending the duel in Jade's favor.
"I won." says Jade.
"Fuck! Ya just had luck." says the fat lesbo, being 100 % pissed off.
Jade walk away.
Jade has only lost 5 duels in her entire life.
She has never gone to the Academy or dueled in a big PRO tournament, but she's still very good, having natural talent.
"Fuck, yeah." says Jade.
She walk home.
Once home, Jade remove her deck from the diska nd takes off the disk from her arm.
Jade's duel disk is one that she built herself from stolen parts back when she was a beginner.
The disk is black with silver details and a red screen.
"I need a sharp drink." says Jade.
She enter her bedroom and open a black ebony cabinet.
There are many glass bottles in there and Jade grab one and drink som of the orange liquid in it.
The orange liquid is alcohol of some sort that Jade has bought in Mexico.
It taste similar to tequila, but is not exactly the same.
Jade get almost horny.
The next day.
Jade read an old porno-book when someone rings the door bell.
Jade open the door and sees Cat Valentine.
Cat is the same age as Jade and also Jade's only real friend.
Cat is not a duelist, but she does own a weak beginner-deck.
"Hi, kid." says Jade.
Jade often refer to Cat as 'kid' even though they're the same age.
The reason for this is that Jade is mature and Cat is childish.
"Hi, mommy." says Cat, who call Jade mommy, since Jade call her kid.
"Welcome in. Do you want something?" says Jade.
"Just wanna visit." says Cat.
"Nice." says Jade.
"Yay!" says a happy Cat.
"Indeed." says Jade.
Jade gives Cat tea and a cookie because Cat never drink any alcohol.
"Thanks." says Cat, all cute.
Cat and Jade has known each other since kindergarten.
They are very good friends, almost like sisters.
"No problem." says Jade.
"Awwww!" says Cat.
"Yeah." says Jade.
Jade flip through her deck.
"Hmm..." mumbles Jade.
"What you doing?" says Cat.
"Simply checking my deck." says Jade.
"Okay." says Cat.
"Yes." says Jade.
Jade and Cat are loyal BFFs.
Whenever Cat has problems, Jade help her.
"Cute." says Cat.
"Thanks." says Jade.
"You're welcome, Jade." says Cat.
"Alright, Cat." says Jade.
Both Jade and Cat are happy.
"Yay!" says Cat.
The next day.
Jade sit outside a bar as the sun is almost about to go down.
"Can I have a duel..." says a tomboy-ish lesbian as she walk up to Jade.
"Yes, sure." says Jade as she stand up. "Though be ready to lose."
"Alright, me is read." says the lesbian. "Let's duel."
"Here we go. First I summon Pyro Cleric in attack mode and then I play two cards face down as well, just in case." says Jade.
"I play my Destiny Hero Pussy in attack mode." says the lesbian.
"My monster's stronger. C'mon, cleric, destroy that damn thing." says Jade.
Pyro Cleric destroys Destiny Hero Pussy.
"Fuck! Here we go...I fuse Destiny Hero Dick no. 2 with Destiny Hero Cumshot to create the big powerful horny Destiny Hero Incest King. He has the best dick ever. He'll rape the shit out of all your female monsters." says the lesbian.
"Not bad..." says Jade, all badass.
"Attack!" says the lesbian.
"You can't 'cause I activate a trap, Shadow Fricolendum Beta. This card stop your attack if I pay 1000 life points." says Jade.
"Crap!" says the lesbian in anger.
"Say welcome to Fire Druid in attack mode." says Jade.
"He'll die." says the lesbian.
"I don't think so. Now I equip him with God's Blessing. This double his power, making him have 2600 in attack. And he gets even stronger, since when he battle and E-hero or D-hero he recieve 500 attack in bonus, making him strong enough to burn down your Destiny Hero Incest King to a pile of dust." sasy Jade.
Fire Druid destroys Destiny Hero Incest King.
"Now it's my turn and I play Destiny Hero Shit in defense mode." says the lesbian.
"I summon Laurian Flame Wolf, also in defense." says Jade.
"Bye to my hero. I tribute it to bring in a stronger one...Destiny Hero Black Bitch in defense mode." says the lesbian.
"Okay, a pretty good mosnter, but I can beat it. I summon Priest of Fire in attack mode and I send the top card on my deck to the Graveyard to pay for his special ability." says Jade.
"Destiny Hero Ravenshadow in attack mode, attack the cleric." says the lesbian.
"No! You set off a trap...Blazin' Avanterium. This card stop any attack that doesn't come from a fire monster." says Jade.
"Fuck!" says the lesbian.
"I summon Orizantu Fire in defense mode. Since I have 4 pure fire monsters on my side of the field now I can tribute all of them to summon the best monster in my entire deck...welcome, my Grand Pyrus Demon." says Jade.
The lesbian feel a lot of fear.
"Right. You should be afraid. This rare monster can create enough fire to burn your whole deck to a stinky old pile of ash. Attack." says Jade.
Grand Pyrus Demon destroys Destiny Hero Ravenshadow.
Jade win the duel.
"Victory's mine, as always." says Jade, all rude and hardcore.
The lesbian simply walk away.
The next day.
Jade is at a store where she buy a couple random packs of cards.
When she get home, she open the packs.
She get almost no good cards, but she's badass so it's fine.
One of the cards is great though, but since it doesn't fit in her deck she still doesn't wanna use it.
She put the card in an old binder where szhe keep good cards that she doesn't use in her actual deck.
The card she got is Isogrande Vampire, a strong dark monster.
"Nice. Sexy." says Jade.
She drink some red wine from Italy.
"Fuck, yeah." says Jade.
3 hours later.
Jade is over at Cat's apartment for dinner.
"Pasta, tomato-sauce and chicken." says Cat as she place the food on the table.
"Nice, indeed." says Jade.
Cat is actually very good at cooking awesome Italian food.
"Yay!" says a happy Cat.
"Yes." says Jade.
"Awwww!" says Cat, all cute.
"Nice." says Jade.
Jade and Cat eat and it tastes amazing.
"This food's very good." says Jade.
"Sweet. Thanks, mommy." says Cat.
"No problem, kid." says Jade.
"Wonderful." says Cat.
"It sure is." says Jade.
"Me love that you're my best friend." says Cat.
"Our friendship means a lot to me as well." says Jade.
"Cute." says a happy Cat.
"I guess so." says Jade, also happy.
"Yay!" says Cat, being childish and sweet.
"You're an adorable girl." says Jade.
"Thanks sooooo much!" says a happy Cat.
"Sure, kid." says Jade.
2 days later.
"Give me your best card." says Jade as she walk up to a guy.
"No..." says the guy.
Jade pull down the guys pants and boxers, goes down on her knees and gives him a blowjob.
Jade then unzip her jacket a bit.
"Holy shit...sexy!" moans the guy, getting very horny.
The guy slide his best card into Jade's red latex bra.
"Thanks." says Jade.
3 minutes later.
"Yes...fuck!" moans the gusy as he cum.
Jade swallow every drop of the guys thick creamy cum.
"Thanks for the card. Bye." says Jade and then walk away.
She get into her car and drive home.
Once home, she pull out the card from her bra.
Jade smile sexy when she sees that the card is a fire card.
It's the spell card Flame Palace.
Jade is happy because she didn't have this card before.
She add it to her deck.
"Sexy." says Jade.
4 hours later.
"Okay..." says Jade as she download something from her computer to her duel disk.
Jade wear only a bra and baggy sweatpants.
She look very slutty.
"Here we go." mumbles Jade.
As always, her voice is that special mix of rude and sexy that is so typical for her.
"Fuck, yeah." says Jade when she sees that what she's doing truly works.
The next day.
"I need a real duel, a true fucking challenge and not just some easy shit that I can win in my damn sleep." says Jade as she put on her clothes.
She hate easy duels.
"Alright. Time to scare the shit out of someone." says Jade as she grab her duel disk and walk out to her car.
Jade drive to a small village a few miles outside the city.
"Duel me filthy farm-slut." says Jade as she walk up to a girl who actually has a duel disk.
The girl has curly blonde hair, big boobs, wear typical farmer-girl clothes and seem to be a few years younger than Jade.
"Okay." says the farm-girl.
"Sexy. I go first. Lava Lady in attack mode." says Jade.
Jade also play a card face down.
"I'm playin' me awesome Kwataou Warrior in attack mode." says the farm-girl.
"Alright. Not too bad. I summon Dark Fire Bitch in defense mode and then my Lava Lady will attack." says Jade.
Lava Lady destroys Kwataou Warrior.
"Fuck that. I summon Destiny Hero Shield to defend me life points. Yeah." says the farm-girl.
"Fortunately for me I'm aware of your hero's ability, so I won't fall for its sneaky fucking tricks." says Jade.
"Oh..." says the farm-girl, who expected Jade to attack.
"Yeah. Now I summon a third monster...welcome Flame Samurai. He goes in attack mode." says Jade.
"I summon Silver Bitch in attack mode and I equip her with Mercury Magic. Bitch, attack and kill the Dark Fire Bitch." says the farm girl.
Silver Bitch destroys Dark Fire Bitch.
Jade obviously doesn't show this with a sweet smile, but she's happy that she get a duel that's actually a bit more hard.
Instead of smiling in joy, Jade keep the hard cold look on her face as she usually does.
"My turn now. I summon Rock Flame in defense mode." says Jade.
"Silver Bitch, attack...Silver Slam!" says the farm girl.
"Not this time, baby. I activate the trap card Mystic Jenga. When I send a monster from my hand to the Graveyard, damage is reduced to zero." says Jade.
"Fuck..." says the farm-girl.
"And here we go...Fire Knight of Xandu in attack mode." says Jade.
"I tribute Silver Bitch to summon Ruby Slut." says the farm-girl.
Ruby Slut kill Fire Knight of Xandu.
Jade enjoy the fact that the farm-girl actually put up a solid fight.
"Vagabundio Fire in defense mode and a card face down." says Jade.
"I switch Ruby Slut into defense for a lil' bit...yeah." says the farm-girl.
"I summon Fire Druid." says Jade.
"Oh..." says the farm-girl.
"Yeah." says Jade.
"Here goes somethin'...the monster known as Pavdaalian Warrior. In attack mode." says the farm-girl.
"Now I summon Fire Soldier in defense mode." says Jade.
"Alright." says the farm-girl.
"I equip the spell card Burning Wrath onto Lava lady." says Jade.
Lava Lady destroys Pavdaalian Warrior.
"I now switch all my monsters into defense mode." says Jade.
"I summon Bronze Whore in defense mode. Then I fuse her with Ruby Slut, creatin' the sexy Gold Bitch!" says the farm-girl.
Gold Bitch tries to attack Fire Soldier.
"Fuck. I play my trap...Curse of the Fucked One. This card stop all sexual or semi-sexual monsters dead in their tracks." says Jade.
"No..." says the farm-girl.
Jade is happy that the farm-girl is not an easy opponent.
"I skip this turn." sats Jade.
"Sexy shit. I play Mungo Blade in attack mode." says the farm-girl.
"Alright. I draw. Nice, just waht I neeed. Get ready. I trubute my 4 monsters to summon Grand Pyrus Demon." says Jade.
"What...?" says the famr-girl in hge surprise.
"Grand Pyrus Demon, attack...Death Flame!" says Jade.
Grand Pyrus Demon destroys Mungo Blade.
"I play the spell card, Serene Grace. It let me summon Wild Whore Lady." says the farm-girl.
"That things kinda strong. Though not strong enought to win against my demon. C'mon, my demon, kill that thing." says Jade.
Grand Pyrus Demon destroys Wild Whore Lady.
"Nice. You lose." says Jade.
Jade is happy that she won, but that she had to work for it.
She thank the farm-girl for a good duel and then leave.
The End.