Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Kim Possible are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Ephraim Tutt, Shego's lawyer, appeared in short stories starting in 1919 (prior to the discovery of King Tut's tomb). America's best known fictional lawyer for several decades. He knew where the boundaries of the law were and could push against them if it would help his clients. To further confuse things 'Tutt' published his 'autobiography' Yankee Lawyer in 1943. Since a fictional character can't publish an autobiography many book stores sold it as non-fiction and thousands of Americans accepted Tutt as real person who appeared in fictionalized form. An officer on Iwo Jima wrote Arthur Train, the author, asking for clarification – saying when his men weren't fighting Japs they were fighting each other over Tutt's existence. A lawyer, Lewis R. Linet, with no sense of humor, sued the publisher for fraud in 1944 and asked for his $3.50 back. Molly Guptill Manning wrote a book about the kerfuffle, The Myth of Ephraim Tutt.

That They Are Endowed by Their Creator

It was impossible for Kim to know where Shego was going. Shego was certain of that fact. Shego wasn't even certain where she would be. At the moment she was swabbing out one of the handful of cabins on a tramp freighter. But she'd slip away at some port and never be seen again.

Maybe she'd use one of the two fake passports she'd obtained before leaving Malta. Or maybe not. Kim's computer geek might check the records for new Maltese passports – and the pictures would give her away.

The captain of the freighter had fallen for her sob story – an abused wife desperate to get away. She'd fled the house with nothing but her purse. Her brute of a husband had even stolen her IDs and credit cards – but she couldn't stand it any more and had run away with nothing but the clothes on her back and almost empty purse. (The passports were sewn into the lining.) Her cash had gone into a new HSBC account and would be available in any country with a branch – which is to say most of the world.

She offered to work for her passage. She wasn't going to pay with sex. She'd seen the captain and a couple crew members stare at her. She kept them away with a story of being afraid of men after what she had suffered. If one tried to be 'charming' she'd leave at the next port. If they left her alone she would leave at some port where Kim would never think to look.

Contacting Tutt, of course, would be a royal pain – since Shego suspected Kim was getting her location from her lawyer. But Tutt was doing a great job and a few months with no Kim would give her time to figure out the redhead's game.

And Shego had been forced to abandon all her clothes again. Perhaps Kim had put a GPS in them during her Malta visit. So Shego had picked out something relatively frumpy at a second hand store and left everything else. Now, on board, she had found some old denim shirts and dungarees as she 'earned her keep'. She hoped it also made her look less attractive.

The tramp freighter steamed into the port of Tananger, if a ship powered by a diesel engine can be said to steam, with a load of supplies for the North Sea oil rigs. Inspired by Kim's research on Malta Shego did a fast check. Tananger seemed like a bad place to leave the ship – which made it the perfect place to leave the ship.

"Kim knows I like beaches or big cities." Shego told herself. "Tananger has nothing I'd like. Norway has enough coastline to circle the world twice, but sunning beaches? Not so much. And a little village like this? She'll never look for me here." Stavanger was close, but Shego would stay in Tananger. "Find some rooming house, claim I'm waiting for my husband who works out on a rig. No one will suspect anything." She grinned, maybe she'd even try to find where Slartibartfast had carved his name into a fjord.

"Your luggage?" the rooming house owner asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

Shego tried to put a note of frustration in her short laugh, "Airline says they lost it. Where's the nearest HSBC, I'll pay for a week and buy a few things to get me through 'til they find it." A week of peace would get her accepted, and if anyone asked later about the luggage the airline would give her a check because they failed to find her clothes.

Less than two hours later she dropped her few purchases on the bed in the simple room and went downstairs. "What's there to do around Tananger?"

"Very little," he apologized. "But we are close to so much. You should go to the Kverntorget Pub. There are many of oil widows who go there."

"Oil widows?"

"They wait for their husbands who are working on the rigs."

Shego resolved to never go near that pub. Too much chance of someone seeing through her false identity. If she mentioned a real rig the other woman might say, "Oh, my husband's there. What's your husband's name? They must know each other." "Where is this Kventorget Pub?"

He looked puzzled, "In Hafrsfjord. Just north. Everyone will know. Your husband told you so little?"

"I really need to look at a map." "Sorry, newlyweds. Just landed this morning. Where's a library so I can look things up for myself?"

It took Shego only a few days to realize her initial impression, that Tananger was a place no one could possibly look for her, was correct. The resources of the fishing village were almost as limited as Costa de María, and the local beach – Sjøbadet Myklebust – wasn't as nice: too much cement and stone and not enough sand.

"There's no way Possible will find me," Shego thought as she spent time in the library. "But if she does I'm going to know all the cultural shit there is to know." Not that there was anything to know about Tananger proper, but as part of the larger Stavanger metropolitan area.

The Vigå Pub was also in Hafrsfjord, and appeared to not attract the oil widows. Additionally Hafrsfjord had the Swords in Rock monument. Okay, it only dated from 1983 and wasn't seven thousand years old, but it was still kind of cool and celebrated the uniting of Norway. "I'll bring Kim here. If she shows up. I don't want her to show up – but that's never stopped her before."

Snøde, just to the south had some ruins up on top of a hill. The owner of the small rooming house didn't know their history.

Bored to tears by the end of the week Shego even started researching the Temple Zone of Sambor Prei Kuk on the internet. "If she brings up her intern work I'm going to show her I know even more about the place than she does." Shego found herself almost wanting Kim to show up, just so she could show off. "Hey, maybe I can find out when the kid's summer program will be done – give me some warning."

"Maybe I did too good a job," Shego started to worry. "Maybe she really can't find me... That'll prove she's spying on my lawyer."

The boarding house manager seemed slightly flustered when Shego returned one day.

"Missus White?"

"Yes."

"There... There was an incident today. A young woman asked me to let you into her room. She said she was your lover."

"You sent her away, I hope."

"She was very insistent. I called the police."

"The police?"

"Yes, I feared she might be a... a..."

"Stalker?"

"Yes, stalker. That is the word."

"A red haired woman?"

"Yes, you know her? Was she–"

Shego thought fast, and laughed in what she hoped was a relaxed manner. "The younger cousin of my old college roommate." She dropped her voice slightly and continued in a slightly conspiratorial tone, "They were both practical jokers – or maybe a little crazy. I was never sure which. Thanks for calling the police. Serves her right... But I should probably get her out of jail... Know where she would be?"

"I think the Sola station. I promised I would telephone with information when you returned. They would not have sent her to Stavanger, I do not think."

"You call and find out. I'll call a cab or something if–"

"Cab?"

"A taxi cab. Please call and make sure she's there."

Shego shivered slightly at the idea of going into a police station voluntarily. "There's no way this could be a setup," she told herself. "She couldn't have known I'd be coming to Norway."

Twenty minutes later Shego grinned, "It seems so natural to have bars between us."

"Yes, but I'm usually the one on the outside."

"You know this woman?" the officer asked Shego politely.

"Afraid so. As I explained at the desk, my old college roommate must have heard about my marriage and called her cousin to visit me as a bad practical joke."

Shego saw Kim look startled at the words, "heard about my marriage." "She knew I was here, but didn't know squat about my cover story. So, how in the hell did she find me?"

"You will sign paper so she may go?"

"Certainly," smiled Shego. "Or am I allowed to just leave her here?" The policeman looked puzzled. "Just kidding," Shego reassured him.

Shego hesitated a second before signing, trying to remember the first name she was currently using. The police officer, interpreted the hesitation as a different thought. "Do you wish I should ask a judge for an order to keep her away from you?"

"No. No thanks. I appreciate the offer. That seems a bit too strong a response to a bad practical joke."

Kim remained quiet on the taxi ride back to Tananger. "Leave us off at the harbor," Shego told the driver. "We're going to walk around."

Once on foot Kim asked, "Marriage?"

"Cover story. Jesus, Princess, how can you know where I am – but not know diddly squat about the cover I'm using? That makes no sense."

"I'm trying not to pry into your personal life."

"You're telling people we're lovers, you're chasing me around the world, you're breaking into my room – and getting busted for trying to break in here – but not trying to pry into my personal life?"

"Well, except for the part where I'm in it. I'm not considering your past, I'm only considering our future. Oh, and thanks for getting me out of jail."

"No problem, and you could have gotten out of jail in two minutes if you'd told them who you were and who I really was."

"But where is the fun in that? I wanted to see if you'd be my white knight and come to rescue me from the dungeon in which an ogre had imprisoned me."

"The Norwegian cops aren't ogres. That wasn't a dungeon. And I'm no white knight."

"If you aren't a white knight, can I try you on a dark night?"

"Dark knight? Isn't that Batman?"

"Not knight with a K. I'm asking to try you on a dark night, n-i-g-h-t. Just saying, if you aren't a white knight you might want to take advantage of a helpless damsel in distress."

"You are least helpless damsel in the whole fucking world!"

"You could still try and take advantage of me. I might melt in your arms at the heat of your passion."

"Put Pepé La Pew back in the can for Norway, Princess. I'm calling the shots here. My cover is a respectable married woman and you aren't allowed to screw that up. You are the fun-loving and mentally unstable younger cousin of my old college room-mate... Damn. I probably need a name for her."

"Roberta McCorkle. You always called her Bobbie."

"That was fast. You got a real cousin with that name? McCorkle sounds like a bogus name."

"Probably is. You're calling the shots here in Norway?"

"Yes," Shego answered firmly."

"Good," Kim purred, "I love a strong, dominant woman. I think it's why I scared off so many women on the first date."

"Wait, you're really... But..."

Kim gently tapped twice on Shego's forehead. "Earth to Shego? You thought I was investing this time and effort in a joke?"

"But..."

"Close your mouth before you catch a fly. Oh, and dominant – not like BDSM or anything. No kink. I'm a strong woman. I need a woman who can push back if I'm ever wrong. I mean, it might happen some day." Kim playfully swung a hip and bumped it against Shego.

"If you're practicing the mentally unstable part you got it nailed," Shego grumbled. "I'm in charge. My cover is respectable married woman. No PDAs. No hand-holding. No kissing. And no more hip bumps."

"In public. Agreed."

"None, period."

"No. In private no one will see, and I may need some TLC to assure me you still love me after a day without physical displays of affection. Oh, want to hear how long I can stay?"

"You're not leaving tomorrow?"

"Nope. Here for three days."

"But your internship just ended! You can't have even been home yet!"

"How nice, you're following me. No I haven't been home. I told my mom I was stopping off to see my girlfriend before I came back to Middleton."

"Tell your mom who your 'girlfriend' was?"

"Do I look stupid?"

"Interesting question. Have you asked yourself why you're chasing a dangerous woman all over the world?"

"Why do guys drive cars that'll do two hundred miles an hour?"

"Because they're stupid."

"No, for the thrill of it. I'm kind of strong-willed–"

"You're damn near a force of nature."

Kim smiled, "Thank you, that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me without being prompted." Shego rolled her eyes to show it hadn't been meant as a compliment. "I need a woman I can regard as an equal. One who won't let herself be pushed around. You're actually not fighting as much as I–"

"I'm worried about you turning me over to the authorities, remember!"

"I know, and that's why I forgive you. But you're still the second strongest woman I know."

"After you?"

"No, I'm saying of all the women I know you're endowed with the second strongest will."

"Endowed? Fancy word there, Princess. Why don't you try chasing number one?"

"That's my mom. Chasing her like I've been chasing you? That would be major ick."

"Worse than that," Shego agreed. "If you were a guy I'd call it Oedipal."

"Aren't you glad I'm not a guy?"

"How about I just concede you come by the strong-willed honestly?"

"Both sides," Kim agreed. "Dad's mom is really something too."

"Did I meet–"

"In Florida, remember?"

"I can't believe you're rating me above her."

"I have faith in you."

Shego introduced Kim to the owner of the small boarding house, and asked for a small folding bed to be put in the room for, "the idiot cousin of my college dorm mate."

"Idiot cousin?" Kim complained. "And those things are worse than a couch."

"Be thankful I'm not making you sleep on the floor. And where's your stuff? Did the police keep it?"

"I left it in a locker at the airport. You're moving around during the day I wasn't exactly sure where you were."

"Moving around? How the hell do you know that?"

"It isn't important."

"Maybe not to you, it is to me."

"So, I'll pick my stuff up before... Why are you in Norway? I'm not sure I have anything to wear."

"Well, you're sure as hell not going to walk around buck naked. You didn't have to stop and see me on your way home. Let's hit the airport and then eat."

Dinner was pub fare at the Vigå. Shego lost the coin toss and agreed to pay. "Skip the local wines," she advised before ordering.

"They make wine here?"

"Not much, and not good. Plenty of vodka–"

"Pass."

"You should try a shot of akvavit before you go."

"What's that?"

"I'm not entirely sure. What vodka is to Russia, wine is to France, or moonshine is to old Kentuck, akvavit is to Norway."

"There's a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one."

"Beer is good, but expensive. This place has a bunch of the things from microbreweries. I'm not a beer expert."

"Neither am I."

"Have a glass of whatever's on tap or order a Tre Gamle Damer."

Back in Shego's room the older woman quizzed Kim on Sambor Prei Kuk. Since the internship had focused on stabilization of the structures Shego had information Kim didn't know on the history and archaeology. "You are so culturally illiterate," Shego sniffed, "you spent the summer there and didn't know that stuff?"

Kim just grinned, happy that Shego had done the research. "What can I say? Great place for a honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?"

"Sure. When your husband, what's-his-name, comes ashore from the oil rig."

They talked of Kim's work on the Temple Zone and Shego told of life on the tramp freighter until one. Kim emerged from the bathroom dressed in– "What the hell is that, Princess?"

"Jammies."

"It's indecent."

"It was hot in Cambodia."

"Well, it isn't here. You'll freeze your ass off."

"I could sleep on the bed with you."

"I'll give you my blanket."

"What will you sleep in?"

"My bathrobe – and a chastity belt. You're going to buy something flannel tomorrow."

"And maybe a couple sweaters."

Stavanger, the urban center, offered more choices for clothing stores. They spent the day there. During window shopping in the afternoon Kim slipped her arm through Shego's. "No public displays of affection," the green woman reminded her.

"Arm-in-arm is a sign of friendship – not a statement of affection," argued Kim.

Shego grumbled, but didn't push Kim away. The redhead fought the urge to snuggle closer.

Kim paid for dinner, in a better restaurant, before they returned to the rooming house in Tananger.

The redhead put on her new flannel night gown. They sat closer, and talked until one again, Shego relaxed and appreciated the fact she had someone with whom she could be honest, and Kim loved the fact Shego appeared to be trusting her.

Shego had purchased a small bottle of akvavit while they shopped, but the conversation didn't require alcohol for fuel. Shego had poured generous drinks into two glasses, but neither woman felt any desire to finish the liquor in her glass.

The next day Shego provided Kim with proof of her cultural literacy as they saw the local sights. "Impressed?" the older woman asked at Sverd i fjell.

"That we both know how to use Google™? But it's definitely cool."

Kim sat beside Shego that night as they shared a plate of Måneskinnsfromasj. "Going to need to go to back to sparring with you if we eat too much stuff like this," Kim warned. "Now, put an arm around me."

"You are so demanding," chuckled Shego, but put an arm around the younger woman. "I'll punch you later."

"And tonight's topic is, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'. While I was in Cambodia I had more ideas about what I want to do after college, and you'll say what you want to do when you're legal and we can tell the world we're dating."

"Am I allowed to say I'll dump you?"

"No, you have to be honest. You love me. Now, what do you want to do?"

Kim saw Shego's expression turn serious. "I don't know that I'll ever be legal... Maybe after prison..."

"Your lawyer is doing a good job!"

"He's doing a great job, but no way the charges in the US are going away. No way I can ever go..." Shego fell silent. Kim felt certain she saw tears in the older woman's eyes and looked away, knowing Shego did not want Kim to see them. "Hell... I'd even like to see that jerk Hego."

"So," Kim asked hesitantly, "is it just down to the US?"

"Don't know," Shego said softly. "Haven't talked with him in weeks... I figured you were finding out where I was through him. I... I don't know."

"You should talk with–"

"Dammit! Didn't you just hear me say–"

Kim raised her voice slightly, "And I have no idea who your lawyer is!"

"Fine, I'll contact him somehow."

"Uh, Shego?"

"Yes, Princess?

"Any chance the Feds might be watching him?"

"If you couldn't find him the–"

"Wade didn't try to find him."

"Hell, you've got some super secret way to–"

"Wade does."

"And you haven't turned me in?"

"Wade thinks we should. But you're keeping your nose clean and I asked him not to."

"You tell him why... Have you told me the real reason why you haven't?"

"I've told you the real reason. I said you and I could have a serious relationship – if they take your picture down off those wanted bulletin boards in the post office."

Shego managed a lop-sided grin, "So, only way to dodge you is prison? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

"You don't mean that," Kim told her, and kissed the thief.

It lasted longer than Kim expected, and Shego looked slightly flushed when she finally pushed the younger woman away. "Picture's still up in the post office," she reminded Kim.

"Yeah," Kim admitted sadly. "Still is."

They were both slightly subdued the next morning. Shego rode with Kim to the Stavanger airport. "Ephraim Tutt," she said.

"Ephraim Tutt?"

"My lawyer. Old as dirt. Maybe older. Will do anything that isn't illegal for a client – and has been known to push the edges. He knows the law better than anyone sitting on the Supreme Court... At least he knows criminal law better. Tutt doesn't... No, shouldn't say that. For all I know he helped write the damn Constitution. Did I tell you he's old?"

"I do think the topic came up in the conversation."

"Well, he is. Let him know you heard from me."

"Weren't you going to contact him yourself?"

"You got me spooked, Princess. There's some way your Nerdlinger can trace me that I don't understand – and now you've got me paranoid the Feds might be watching my lawyer."

Shego didn't get out of the taxi at the airport. After getting her bag from the trunk Kim motioned for Shego to roll down the window, "I'll tell cousin Bobbie that married life agrees with you!" she called.

The green woman managed a sad smile, "Thanks, Pepé, I appreciate that."