Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Kim Possible are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
We Hold these Truths to Be Self-Evident,
"What do you mean, you don't know where she is?" Kim demanded.
"What word in that sentence don't you understand?" Wade shot back. "I think what I said is clear."
"You told me months ago that Shego had unique bio-metrics. You could track her anywhere!"
"Yes, and–"
"So, is she dead?"
"Is there any chance you could let me finish what I'm trying to say?"
"No."
Wade disconnected.
Kim called back in a minute to apologize. "I'm sorry, Wade. I'm worried. I feel like maybe I set her up to be arrested or something."
"We don't know that. We don't know what happened."
"But you don't know where she is! That could mean..."
"We have no idea what is means. You can make guesses, but we don't know."
"Any idea how she could block her bio-metric signal? Could she be dead?"
"She didn't block it... At least I'm pretty sure she didn't."
"But you said you can't find her!"
"So tell me, what does unique mean?"
"One-of-a-kind."
"Right. And I'm getting four signals now."
"Four? Did they clone her?"
"We can't rule it out, but my guess is they found some way to create a fake bio-metric signature. I've been talking with some guys at the NSA about–"
"You turned her into the Feds?"
"I didn't specifically say anything about Shego. Period. We've seen discussing bio-metric signature technology for months – more than a year. I got the idea to try and track her from the discussion. There aren't a lot of people in the world with patterns different enough to trace with current satellite surveillance. They may have been able to figure out Shego's family... Maybe they even saw you with her. They're smart guys. And if they saw you and her together they could have figured out I might be tracking her. Maybe they're testing out a kind of cloaking device – only if there's no way to cover up her signature then might be hiding her by putting out devices that create dummy patterns."
"Why would they do that? Could they have her in prison? Have you checked the locations?"
"They move around a little. Maybe a couple people put the devices in their cars or gave them to someone else. The readings show movement and none show up at a NSA building... Oh, Kim?"
"Yes."
"If anyone asks, I don't know the location for any NSA research facilities."
"But you said–"
"I'm telling you the truth. Nerds bluff each other. Anyway, back to Shego – I told you, you and I don't know what's going on. But there are potential uses for the technology. That's why I talked with the NSA guys about it, and could explain the NSA nerds playing around with different ways to utilize it. I mean, I was playing around when you asked me to find Shego. When I told them about my initial research, in a strictly theoretical e-mail exchange, they may have seen the value in it too."
Kim wondered if she could blame any part of what happened to Shego on Wade, or if she must accept full responsibility.
"Ms Possible?" the instructor demanded.
"Wha?" responded Kim, snapping out of her daze.
"I asked you a question."
"Sorry... I, uh, mind was elsewhere. Could you repeat the question?"
"Fine," sighed the professor, "but I would appreciate it, in the future, if your mind was in some proximity to your body while you attended class."
"Any changes?" Kim asked Wade. "Have you found a way to filter out the fake bio-signatures?"
"No to the second question. But a couple changes. There're now six bio-signatures–"
"Six? Six fake signatures?"
"I'm assuming five fakes and one real. They may be working on the tech for the fakes. And I'm feeling pretty confident my contacts in national security are doing it."
"How?"
"Well, last couple e-mails they've been asking me if I've seen anything unusual. Maybe not really asking... more like hinting. I've checked out Shego's brothers. They've now got doubles of everyone... Well, hard to tell with the Wegos. Doubles are all at a lab where my contacts work. So, I'm pretty sure they guessed I've tracked Shego and they want to know if I can tell the real and fake bio-metrics apart."
"Can you?"
"Not yet. Well, one of the new ones is bogus, I can tell."
"What did you tell your NSA nerds?"
"Well, they didn't come out and ask, and I didn't come out and tell them what I think. I said there seems to be some anomalous data in the readings I'm getting and I'm working on a filter to sort things out."
"Can you design a filter thingie?"
"Don't know. Probably. Might be easy if I knew exactly how–"
"Can I steal one of the devices for–"
"No, Kim. Let us science nerds play the game by our own rules."
"But–"
"No. Look we don't know what's going on with Shego. She's not in prison – unless they've actually found a way to shield the signal... I guess it could be six fakes. But you won't be able to help her at all if you go to jail."
"Could they be using her as a guinea pig to test stuff out on?"
Wade sighed, "We can't be sure of anything, we don't have enough data. Remember what I said, if they don't have a way to shield her presence she's not in a cage and they're not testing mascara on her. The real Shego is moving around."
"Have you tried to get video of any of the signal sources?"
"Well, I identified the one bogus signal. Managed limited video of two, neither really helpful. Grainy image from a gas station camera. A lot of cars passing by, one of them was source for one signal. I can't be sure which car and I didn't get a clear look at any drivers or passengers in the bad video. Got the plate for a car that stopped by barbecue takeout. Car is registered to a cousin of a neighbor of one of my nerds... And I should bill you by the hour for the work I did on that one."
"But for you nerds it's all a game, isn't it?"
"Pretty much," Wade laughed. "Shego may have volunteered for the biometric experiment. Maybe they offered her a pardon or something for helping. Maybe she's doing something else and my nerd buddies just heard about it and asked for her help. Have you talked with her lawyer?"
"Yeah, but he gave me the lawyer-client confidentiality line... Wade?"
"Yes?"
"If she can move around, why hasn't she contacted me? I felt like... And... If she likes me, why hasn't she called or something?"
"I don't read minds. Maybe she's trying to protect you from being called an accessory or something."
"You really think so?"
"Kim, I've been telling you over and over, we don't know what's going on."
"So... Maybe she hates me?"
"You said she kissed you?"
"Finally. Took her long enough."
"Would she kiss you if she hated you?"
"I don't think so. We were working well together, and she promised to wake me with a kiss when she got back – and she never came back."
Kim had many long calls with Ron or Monique.
Ron tried to comfort Kim with a, "Give her time, you don't know what she's doing... Isn't there some way to tell who's in prison?"
"Yes. There's supposed to be anyway. Not supposed to hold anyone more than twenty-four hours unless they're charged with something."
"Then she's out. Maybe she got a job and doesn't have any vacation time or something."
"She could have called."
"Hey, I don't know what's she's doing either."
While Ron provided little comfort Kim felt at least he tried. She felt like Monique provided even less – advice that wasn't wanted. "The way you were putting pressure on her, GF? You probably scared her off."
"We were hugging and kissing on the way to Bulgaria."
"Which you said kept the locals from looking at her too closely."
"She enjoyed it!"
"Maybe, maybe not. You can't know what's going on in another person's head. She might just figure you're crazy and be avoiding you."
"You really feel like she's dumping me?"
"First, I'm not sure the two of you were ever a real couple. She can't dump you if you were never a real couple. Second, remember I told you nobody knows what's going on in another person's head? I don't either. Maybe she's interested and has a good reason to not call. Maybe you scared her off. I watched a couple of those Pepé Le Pew cartoons you told me about. Someone came after me like that? I'd run the other way... Unless he had money. Lots of money. What I'm sayin' is, don't spend your life moping. You're a beautiful woman, lot of nice fish in the sea – hey, you're one of them – if she couldn't appreciate you, find some woman who can."
"But I've been looking, and I haven't found–"
"Don't give up and settle! You've got a ton to offer! There's someone out there for you! There may be several someones... Uh, I don't mean several all at once. I'm sayin' don't think there is just one woman in the world for you, and then look for Ms Perfect. Everyone has her little quirks, you're kind of high maintenance yourself. I'm sayin' you can find a woman to have a wonderful relationship with... Hey, Lord knows Shego isn't perfect and you made a play for her."
It was a lovely dream. Shego's lips were pressed against her own. It felt amazingly real. And the alarm rang. Kim awakened – furious at the alarm which shattered her sleep."
"Did I make it into your dreams?" Shego demanded.
"Wha?" the groggy Kim responded, fairly certain she was still asleep.
"Checked your alarm, started kissing you about five minutes ago. Did you dream about me?"
Can you dream that you are dreaming? Kim looked at the alarm clock, and looked at Shego, and looked back at the bed to see if she was still asleep and dreaming. "I think I'm sleeping."
Shego reached out a hand and pinched her.
"Oww!"
"Now convinced you're awake?"
"Not sure. Maybe another kiss would convince me."
Shego obliged. When the kiss ended Shego asked, "Blow off classes today and talk?"
"Absolutely I... I Can't. Have a major exam this morning. Can I handcuff you to me or something so you won't run away?"
"No, no need for that. Three or four days before I need to go back..."
"Hey! I'm mad!"
"I just got here. What have I done?"
"Why haven't I heard from you? I was scared you were dead or something."
"I was trying to protect you!"
"By scaring me out of my mind?"
"Look, I'll explain later. Short answer – I didn't want the Feds knowing about you and me. Details later."
"So, you're legal now?"
"Define legal. Details later. You have an exam."
"Oh, right... You could have called."
"Not when you think you're being watched every second!"
"But you're here now."
"Yesterday I was told they don't give a damn who I'm having sex with."
"We haven't had sex."
"Yet. Any chance of a quickie before the exam?"
"No."
"C'mon, Princess. The way you were chasing me around? You must be hot for me."
"And the time and money I put into chasing you? You owe me an incredible time. I'm not going to let our first time be a quickie... We should probably do some talking first."
Shego gave her a half smile, "Yeah... Yeah, we need to talk seriously about what's going on."
"Followed by sex. Been way too long for me."
"And for me."
They grabbed each other and began kissing. Kim finally pushed Shego away. "Save it for later. Exam. Need a shower."
Shego was in the kitchen when Kim came out from her shower and throwing something on. "Pop Tarts™ and cold cereal? That's it? That's what you live on? Where's the food?"
"I, uh, have soda too."
"And that's less of a food group than Pop Tarts™."
"Mostly I eat at the student cafeteria or fast food... The Celestial Wok has better Chinese take-out than the best Chinese restaurant in Paris."
"Which is damning with faint praise. Seriously, if you're expecting me to move in with you, you need to upgrade the menu."
"You're moving in?"
"No, but this is going to be my legal address."
"You're not moving in, but this is your legal address?"
"They've been busting my ass, saying I needed a legal address for them to send paperwork and shit to. They won't let me use the office for a legal address and I'm not going to use one of those cheap motel rooms I usually end up with. So I figure you owe me. This is my legal address. Expect letters and forms that I'll have to fill out and sign whenever I come 'home'."
"This is home? How much time will–"
"Three or four days at a time, two or three times a month."
"And who are 'they'?"'
"They're one of the things we'll talk about."
"I don't think my lease–"
"Your landlord doesn't have to know this is my address. I could just be someone you're banging."
"But–"
"Eat," Shego ordered, pointing to a package of PopTarts™ on the table, sitting on top of a clothing box. "Late birthday gift."
Kim took of the lid and saw a black silk garment. "Ninja outfit?"
"Pajamas. Look underneath." Kim started to lift the box, to look at the bottom of box. "No, take out the pajama top. Look at the back."
Kim burst into laughter as she took out the top – which featured two wide white stripes running down the back. "And I'll think of you when I have the black silk against my skin."
"Which will get you through when I'm not around myself to be next to your skin. Scared Pepé, now that Penelope says it's serious?"
"Not scared a bit. He was an idiot."
As Kim ate her cherry ersatz food she asked, "Hey, how'd you get in here?"
"I told the deadbolt I was your girlfriend and it opened right up."
"I'd like a serious answer."
"Seriously? Your deadbolt is a piece of crap. That's supposed to be security?"
"It's what the apartment came with."
"Well, call the landlord and threaten to withhold rent until he pays for something that isn't junk."
"We'll discuss that after class."
Shego wasn't in the apartment when Kim returned and briefly panicked before finding the note, "Gone to find a grocery store," on the table. Some twenty minutes later Shego returned the apartment with two sacks of food.
"Checked your pots and pans before I left. You have pots and pans and no food?
"They came with the apartment."
"Tonight's menu is rice and beans, fish steamed in coconut milk wrapped up in a banana leaf, fried plantains, and masa for tortillas."
"Wow! You're a gourmet cook?"
"No, that was pretty much breakfast, lunch, and dinner down at Costa Yo Mama and I was sick to death of it, but it's been long enough that I think I can stomach it again. I should probably thank you for chasing me out of there."
"You're welcome. I hate making you cook as soon as you get here."
"A, you're not making me cook – I volunteered. B, at some point tonight we're going to rip each other's clothes off and make love. Better here at the apartment than at a restaurant or movie."
"The theaters are pretty dark, but yeah, I see what you mean. Can we talk before we rip each other's clothes off? I was... You didn't call because you were trying to protect me? What happened to you?"
"Let me finish putting groceries away... Answer to the first question. I was afraid if the Feds knew you were helping me you'd get in trouble."
"You could have called."
"I told you, not if you're as paranoid as I was! I was afraid they were bugging me or something. Oh, and I they gave me strict orders to not go to Middleton. I guessed that meant they knew I had some connection with you and didn't want me corrupting you."
"But we're not in Middleton."
"Yeah, and then I started to wonder if they really don't care if I'm having sex with you or not. I've got no fucking idea why they don't want me in Middleton but I don't think it has anything to... I finally talked to supervisor yesterday, and here I am."
"You could have called yesterday when you heard it was okay."
"Afraid I'd find you in the sack with another woman? I figured I owed you a couple for your surprise visits to me."
"If you weren't right I'd be mad."
"Oh, the no Middleton is still in effect. I don't understand it, but the good news is that it gets us off the hook."
"What do you mean?"
"Your Mom or Dad asks to meet your girlfriend, you can tell them the Federal government won't let her come to Middleton."
"They may come here to meet you."
"Crap, you're right. And you're willing to introduce me to them?"
"Probably. Depends on how we're feeling after we've ripped each other's clothes off and made love." The groceries having been put away Kim demanded, "But first, come sit on the couch and tell me what you're doing? You're free? You got a pardon?"
As they moved to the couch in the living room Shego answered, "No pardon. Promise of one in a couple years if I play nice. For a real pardon I need to keep my nose clean."
"But you have to be doing something for someone. They don't just– Can you tell me?"
"Don't know, but I'm sure you're not going to rat on me." Shego fell silent for a minute. "Well, do you want my," Shego held up her hands to make air quotes, "real job, the job I'm actually doing, or the government's secret plans for me?"
"You've got three jobs?"
"Near as I can tell. Where do you want me to start?"
"Is the 'real job' the one you get a paycheck from? What's that?"
"Officially I'm on the NSA payroll."
"National Security Administration? You're like, Bond, Jane Bond?"
"That's my paycheck. Given my background if anyone even hears me say the words," Shego paused and pretended to look around the room very carefully, then whispered the words, "top secret documents." She returned to her normal volume, "They have orders to shoot me. My security rating, on a scale of one to ten, is minus two."
"So, you don't actually work for the NSA?"
Shego shrugged, "They give me a paycheck. Done a couple things for them. Some big VIP meeting for ambassadors, I was one of two agents assigned to watch the keys for valet parking. A Rolls got swiped one time when there was only one agent watching the valets. Daughter of some assistant ambassador from Germany was invited to a birthday party for six-year olds. I had to test the cake to make sure it wasn't poisoned and make sure she didn't get hit with the stick for the piñata. They couldn't find enough jobs for someone who's as high a security risk as I am. They give me a paycheck, but they farmed me out to another department for my real work."
"You said two more jobs? What's the one that keeps you busy?"
"You'll never guess."
"Department of Justice?"
"Almost that crazy. Unofficially I'm a very high administrator in the Treasury Department."
"The Treasury... High administrator? What's the story?"
"The Secret Service is part of the Treasury Department. Some scandals with agents on overseas missions having too good a time with hookers and booze. They should hire choir boys... Not that it would change anything. The choir boys I knew would like booze and hookers. So they're sending along a, quote, high level administrator, unquote, to make sure agents keep on their toes. My job is to play the Spanish Inquisition – except they tell the agents to expect me."
Kim looked a little confused, "But, you have no authority to do anything?"
"Define authority? Officially? No. You're an agent. You're told I'm a nasty find-the-dirt supervisor and will do two surprise checks on you each day. Do you jack off on the assignment or will you behave? Of course Kim Possible wouldn't even be tempted to do anything wrong."
"Unless it was with you."
"Good answer. Anyway, I could file a report saying, 'I found Agent Jones in his hotel room at four in the morning with three hookers, two underage sheep, and a partridge in a pear tree,' and get his ass fired and the agents know it, so everyone behaves."
"Why does the Treasury send you out instead of a real administrator?"
"'Cause real administrators don't want to travel around and herd cats. Besides my pay scale is at the bottom of the barrel and it saves the government money to send me out instead of someone with real authority."
"Okay, you're off the hook for rent. You'll need your salary for airplane tickets so we can spend time together."
"Fine by me. Oh, and the part about what I think is really going on, and why they're letting me off with the probation and promise of a pardon?"
"I'm not sure you should tell me."
"I won't let that stop me. I think I'm, like, part of a super soldier program or something."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean every now and then I have to go in to talk with science geeks and they do all kinds of test stuff to me. They even had my brothers there one day. So I figure they're hoping to find some way to duplicate our powers."
"Umm... Actually I'm pretty sure they're doing something else."
"Huh? What else could they be doing? What makes you think–"
"Science nerds are trying... I'm not sure how to describe it. I think Wade may be part of it, it may be related to tracing you... You need to talk with Wade... That's why you can't go to Middleton!"
"Nerdlinger is why I can't go to Middleton?"
"Oh yea! It's Nerd Wars!"
"I thought you being crazy was an act."
"No, it makes sense. The tracking thing I used to find you. It's part of that."
"The tracking... Can you explain that?"
"No, I can't. I would, but I can't. Like I said, Nerd Wars thing. I need Wade... I may ask him to come out and try to explain it – and you can tell him what they're doing with you on the Death Star."
"So Wade is Luke Skywalker?"
"I think... At least I hope he's not Darth Vader."
Kim reluctantly attended her afternoon class. "Come to the campus with me?"
"I'm planning on a nap. And food prep."
"Well, you're coming tomorrow. I want to show you off."
In the evening Kim watched Shego perform magic in the kitchen. At least it appeared that way to the redhead. After dinner they moved to the bedroom and performed even better magic on each other until finally falling asleep.
Kim left the bed reluctantly at 7:30 the next morning. A half hour later she shook Shego's shoulder, "Breakfast."
Shego staggered to the table by the kitchen to find, "Breakfast by candlelight?"
"You cooked last night. I wanted the first breakfast I cooked for you to be special."
"Pop Tarts™ and..."
"Orange soda. Would you like me to buy milk or orange juice?"
"How about I buy us one of those coffee makers that takes the pods?"
"Or you could do that."
The Pop Tart™ crunched as Shego bit into it.
"It's kinda burned," Kim apologized.
"How can you burn it in the toaster?"
"Well, the spring isn't in great... And I was lighting the candles and setting the table and–"
"Maybe I'll buy us a new toaster too."
Instead of letting Shego head directly to a department store Kim brought her along to class. As they neared campus Kim suddenly asked, "If we meet anyone I know, how do I introduce you? 'This is my girlfriend...' Are you still using Sheila Gillespie?"
"Nope, currently Shoshana Golightly. May even keep the damn thing if I can get a pardon with it."
"Hmmm... Call you Shoshie for the time being?"
Shego shrugged, "For the time being."
That evening Shego taught Kim a class on, "Fun with Mister Egg."
"There's calcium in the shells, right?" Kim asked as she transformed an attempt at fried eggs into scrambled.
Afterwards they attended a women's gymnastics competition and stopped for tea before returning to the apartment.
"You were terribly affectionate tonight, Cupcake. Showing me off?"
"Um, sort of. I had first dates with two of the gymnasts and a barista at the coffee shop. One of them never called me again... One said I was too controlling–"
"They'll think I'm another one-date-wonder."
Kim put her arms around Shego, "Not when I keep showing you off every time you're in town."
The next morning they met Wade's plane, and were surprised when Ron walked into the terminal with the young black man. They were more surprised when Wade held up a small sign which read, "DON'T SAY MY NAME!" as soon as he saw them.
Kim and Shego looked at each other. Kim shrugged in an, "I have no idea" gesture.
"Juss liken to shcan youse," Wade told the couple. "I vants to maken ze shure neizzer of youse hasen un mind control ship."
He took out a security wand similar to those TSA screeners use in airports and quickly ran it around Shego. After a minute he sighed, "You're clean."
"I should hope so."
"What's up with the bad fake accent?" Kim demanded.
"If there was a bug on Shego I didn't want anyone to recognize my voice. Always the chance the other side might have her chipped."
"Other side?" asked Shego.
"Nerd science guy games," Kim reminded her. "They don't want you to talk with Wade."
"But if the mountain won't come to Muhammad..."
"I came here to you. And those are impressive mountains."
"Put your tongue back in your head," Kim sighed. "She's mine."
"I know that," Wade grinned. "Just pulling your leg." The nineteen year old was still a bit stocky, but he was tall and looked like a linebacker more than a genius with multiple PhDs. "Can we go someplace where I can grill her on what the other side is doing?"
"Before we go any place Kim promised you could give me a short answer to what the hell is going on?"
"Uh, no. Even the short answer takes a little while and I'd rather not discuss it in public."
Kim turned to Ron, "And I'm happy you're here... But why?"
"Well, first to hear you say you're happy with Shego–"
Kim threw her arms around Shego, "Beyond happy," she assured Ron. "Ecstatic!"
"Second, I want to check Shego out to make sure you didn't put a mind-control chip on her." He grinned at Shego, "Been a couple years. I'd forgotten just... Wade is right, those are impressive mountains."
"I wouldn't advise looking too close," Shego warned Ron. "Kim might hurt you worse that I would."
Kim reminded Ron, "Tara is enough for you."
"Sure is. And my third reason for coming is to hear you both say thanks."
"Thanks?"
"Kim said it was my idea for you to get together with her. I reminded her how you always used to flirt with–"
"I did not flirt with her!"
"Sure you did, those pet names were–"
"A distraction! I wasn't flirting with her! She was a minor."
"Let it go for now, Ron," Kim suggested. "She's still in denial."
"I am not in–"
"Hold that thought," Wade suggested, "airport security is bringing out my bags."
"Airport security?" asked Kim.
"Lot of high-tech monitoring equipment. I explained it was for medical diagnostics. They put it in special storage for the flight."
While taking Wade and Ron to check-in at a motel Kim enthused about Shego's cooking. Shego dismissed the praise with, "Central American peasant food, but she's impressed."
"You got a store here with banana leaves?"
"Yeah."
"Caribbean stuff?"
"I haven't paid that much attention."
"Drop me off there. I'll look. Cooking elective. If they have what I need I can give you jerk something tonight and mannish water with–"
Kim grimaced, "Mannish water?"
"That what you're calling your used bath water?"
"Goat part soup. It's Jamaican. Inspired title of the Rolling Stones' album Goat Head Soup."
"There a goat head in it?"
"If we're lucky. That's why it's goat part soup. Whatever goat parts you got on-hand. Instructor played some song about ram goat liver being good in mannish water during class that night."
They dropped Ron at the grocery, Wade checked-in to a motel, and Kim and Shego brought him back to their apartment.
Wade gave Shego the short version of tracking as he assembled his diagnostic equipment. "
"Short version... Okay, each person... Your brain communicates with every cell in your body through nerve impulses. The hand picks up something and sends a signal 'potato is in my hand,' and brain responds, 'drop it idiot before it burns you'. Those impulses mean that every living person has sort of an bio-metric field around him or her. Now–"
"Like an aura or something?"
"No, it's... Yeah, like an aura – only real and not that psychic mumbo-jumbo. Think of it like a kind of bio-metric DNA. You and your brothers? Your signals are strong enough, and different enough, that you can be tracked with existing satellite technology. So–"
"That's how you tracked me! From space?"
"Exactly. So–"
"I think I'm going to punch you," Shego threatened Wade.
"He brought us together," Kim reminded her.
Shego sighed, "I guess I'll forgive you."
"And you have to stay honest now," Kim pointed out, "since they can track you anywhere."
"The point is," Wade continued. "If we could develop the technology better it might be possible to track anyone we've got a bio-metric signature for. Felons who're arrested now have to give DNA samples. If the technology works maybe someday they'll be able to trace any felon who skips meetings with parole officers or is wanted for another crime so they can be located easily."
"Okay, I get that," Kim told him. "Do you really think that's possible?"
"No. Not unless we get satellites a million times more powerful than is possible now."
"So why bother?"
"Okay, maybe instead of tracking from space you get something like those tri-corders on the Star Trek show. A hand held device for a fast check if someone is using a fake identity or won't give a real name. Or have monitors that send an alert if someone under court order not to come close to you comes near them. Even if space monitoring isn't possible the tech might have value."
"And what's with all the cloaking and fake signals?"
"Well, if there's a cheap and easy way to block the signal the project is worthless. Or a cheap and easy way to make fake signals that can't be distinguished from real signals there's no point in working further. We're really early in this tech, a beginning point. We've no way to know what may or may not develop."
Wade spent a couple hours working with Shego. Ron called and Kim picked him up at the grocery store and brought him back.
"That's a ton of food," Shego commented when she saw the bags.
"Got stuff I'll take back to Middleton. That's a great store."
"Did they have your goat head?" asked Kim.
"KP, I think there are things you're better off not knowing. Now, out of the kitchen while I cook."
As they gathered around the table Wade explained, "Mannish water is considered sort of a... Well, it's supposed to increase a man's performance ability."
"Tara exhausting you?" Shego asked Ron.
"Superstition," insisted Ron. "It's good stuff."
The mannish water was pronounced a success. Shego labeled the callaloo inedible as Ron took seconds. "He likes spicy food," Kim explained. Jerk turk was the star, "Okay, turkey is not traditional," Ron admitted, "but it was fresh and cheap."
"Jerk turk... Good stuff."
Ron brought out some Jamaican ginger beer. Wade declined. "C'mon," Ron urged.
"I'm not legal," Wade reminded him.
"Your mother will never know."
"Mom's in Middleton, but she knows everything. Besides, it may be superstition but I'm thinking of Jamaican Ginger."
"Jamaican Ginger?"
"Old patent medicine. High alcohol content. Sales took off during Prohibition... Production standards weren't great. Left a lot of guys with partial paralysis and impotent."
"Impotent?" Ron walked over the sink and emptied the rest of his can down the drain.
Sunday morning Kim attempted a better candle-light breakfast for Shego before they took Ron and Wade to the airport.
Kim had discovered that in addition to coffee pods there were also hot cocoa and tea pods. With the additional purchase of a can of whipped cream and small plastic jars of cinnamon and chocolate sprinkles she prepared 'dessert' to sip while watching television, with the hot chocolate served in glass mugs Shego had purchased.
"A shot of Kahlúa might be good in this."
"Maybe, but it's fine without any." Kim held up her mug, "And now a toast."
Shego grinned and held up her mug.
"To us," Kim announced solemnly. "I hold this truth to be self-evident – we belong together."
Shego rolled her eyes, "That's a self-evident truth?"
"As near as I can tell," Kim answered, "self-evident means you've got no proof. So you say any idiot should know it. And the guy who wrote that line about all men being equal? He owned slaves. So I have at least as much right to say it's self evident we belong together."
Shego laughed. "I like you, you're silly... That's another Warner Brothers cartoon line. This something new? You seemed to be so serious when you were in high school."
"I was doing what other people expected me to... When I'm around you I feel like I can be myself. And there were silly moments back in high school. That's why you were flirting with me."
"I was not flirting with you when you were in high school."
"Sure you were. And some day you'll admit you had a crush on me since the moment you saw me."
Shego simply rolled her eyes.
"When will you be here next?"
"Pretty sure I can be out in nine days. The Prez and the Veep – when you're in the Treasury Department you get to call them the Prez and Veep – have their schedules laid out weeks in advance. So, unless Queen of England dies and someone needs to go to the funeral, or the Israelis throw a surprise birthday party for the president of Iran and decide to invite the Veep I have a pretty good idea."
"Good. Need to introduce you to my parents soon. They'll come here to meet you."
"Have you told your mom yet who your mythical girlfriend was that you went all of the world to see?"
"Ah, no. And you weren't mythical."
"But I don't think I was your girlfriend."
"Well you are now."
"You will tell her before you introduce me as your girlfriend. I don't her doing an improv brain surgery on me with a butter knife."
"She wouldn't–"
"Strongest willed woman you know, remember?"
"Okay, I'll tell her. Um, Shego?"
"Yes."
"I'd rather she not know about the Pepé Le Pew routine."
"You said she knew about your trips."
"Yes, but she thinks we were already lovers when I made the trips to see you. That's what I told her."
"And when, exactly, did we become lovers?"
"Any chance you could have had a mad crush on me from the moment you saw me?"
"No. You were a minor and I tried to kill you the first couple times we fought."
"How about when I turned eighteen? That's legal. You were saving my life when I was eighteen."
"And we were still fighting! Your mom doesn't want you dating a woman who's mentally unstable."
"Well, you are."
"We both are, but you're missing the point. How about your twenty-first birthday? You wondered what was going on with me and found out I was trying to get my life together. Something clicked for us and here we are."
Kim thought a minute. "Okay, that works. I told her about some dating disasters the first couple years in college. Our story is I remembered you, looked you up, and one thing led to another."
"Any chance another thing will lead to the bedroom, after we finish our hot chocolate?"
"I'd be disappointed if it didn't."
The Rolling Stones released the album Goat's Head Soup in 1973. Pluto Shervington's song 'Ramgoat Liver' came out in 1974. Search "Jake Leg" in YouTube® for songs about results of Jamaican Ginger.