After a long night's rest, a morning routine, and two classes, Makoto Naegi still couldn't tell if what happened last night was a dream or not. It was just too bizarre to be anything but the product of eating something strange before retiring for the night.
Sitting in an empty classroom, half-eaten chicken sandwich in hand, Makoto basked in the temporary isolation. The teenager actually preferred being alone most of the time. For as many friends as he had, social interaction was hard, and sometimes it was nice to just sit around and not have to think about other people. And today, that was going just fine.
Until a soft pair of hands planted themselves on his shoulders.
"Gyah!" Makoto yelled, jumping out of his chair and spinning in the air before landing on the ground. Behind the seat stood Kyu Sugardust, as scantily clad as ever.
"Rise and shine, both heads get to work today."
The Ultimate Lucky Student felt something like a panic attack working its way through him. She wasn't supposed to be real. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Love fairies were like Toko's social life, nonexistent.
"You're not supposed to be here," he sputtered out, scooching backwards along the plywood floor.
"Pfft, as if. I have a Virgin Reader the likes of which most bitches dream of, and I can tell that you already made up your mind about my little offer."
A small blush crawled across Makoto's face. "You don't know that."
"Aww, how fucking annoying. Stop trying to put up the chaste and innocent act, you're a fucking high schooler. By now you should know that I'm not here to judge you for wanting to stick some baby batter in these cutie's ovens."
Kyu's wording made Makoto gag a little.
"Okay, you're right," Makoto conceded. "I'll do it. What are you even going to do?"
A twisted smile spread its way across Kyu's face. The kind that a cat gave before devouring a rat. Or that Kyu gave before inhaling cock.
"Alright, now we're fucking cooking. From now on, you take my advice, and before you know it, you'll have all the girls you want slobbering on your knob."
Makoto really wished she'd find a more tactful way to describe intercourse, and soon.
"What do we do now?"
Kyu reached into her bra as Makoto averted his eyes, and somehow produced a lengthy magic wand.
"Since you're such a special case, my boss has allowed me to use some special sauce for this super sexcapade."
Giving a little flick, bits of glitter and… fluids sputtered from the end of the wand, a few landing on Makoto's jacket. He made a mental note to wash it later. The Love Fairy twirled the wand in the air a few times before pointing it directly at Makoto. A rainbow wave emerged from the tip, floated across the room, and slammed into the Ultimate Lucky Student's face. It felt like a pillow made of carbon dioxide, and he began gagging and sputtering as it dissipated.
"Now, let's test it. Stand up."
Makoto did as he was told, rising to his feet as he hacked and waved his hands around to try and get any trace of that foul rainbow out of the air.
"Now, turn around, bend over, and touch your toes."
And, to Makoto's own surprise, he did. Kyu could see the outline of his rear in great detail, much to her pleasure
"Hot damn kid, that's a pretty good ass. I bet girls would line up around this place to give it a good pegging."
Makoto wasn't sure he wanted to learn whatever it was that pegging was. As fast as he could, he straightened up and spun around.
"What did you do?"
"A spell. Take off your shirt."
Despite not wanting to, Makoto found himself peeling his jacket off and taking his shirt off as quickly as he could. A bit of wind made the boy shiver as he found himself unable to properly cover himself. Despite his best efforts, most of his skin was still visible to the fairy's prying eyes.
"Not too shabby," Kyu reviewed as she ran her eyes up and down every inch of skin she could. "Hardly an absolute stud, but you have a cute chest. Some girls love giving that kind of bod a good licking, y'know?"
"Kyu, please stop this…"
"Nah ah, we gotta make sure this really works. Put your shirt back on, and drop the pants."
It took all of his willpower and physical might, but Makoto still failed. He put his top back on, slid his jacket on, and dropped his pants and boxers in full view of the love fairy. Kyu inadvertently let out a bit of drool as her eyes locked onto his flaccid penis.
"Nice cock, bro. Not too big, not too small, and pretty smooth. Eight out of ten. Put your stuff back on."
Makoto was greatly relieved when he finally could put his clothes back on. Who knows what kind of danger would happen if he was found naked with a scantily clad woman in a schoolroom.
"Lemme do some editing real fast," Kyu announced as she summoned another rainbow. Makoto watched in awe as she used the wand to shift around colors and hues until she seemed satisfied with the result.
"So, what did you do?"
"Simple mind control magic. For the next week, you can't say no."
"Wha-"
"Chow on the chill pills, dude. Whatever you're thinking of, that's what the edits are for. Nobody can order you to do anything sexual without your consent now-"
"Gee, thanks."
"Nobody can order you to do anything that'd cause harm to yourself and others, and if an order takes more than ten minutes to undergo then you can neglect it after ten minutes."
"Why that?"
"Simple, the only thing holding you back is your own confidence. If a girl were to ask you out, you'd clam up harder than a virgin confronting her first nine-incher. This spell ensures that any girls who ask you about that kind of stuff will get you."
"But, girls don't normally ask me that kind of stuff. I mean, I talk to them, quite a bit, but that's never come up."
"Well, that's what I'm fucking here for, isn't it?"
Makoto rubbed his ahoge a little. "Yeah, I guess."
"Well then let's go find some ass!"
Kyu began flying towards the door until Makoto stopped her.
"Wait! What if people see you like this?"
The Love Fairy gave him another smile. "More magic, kiddo. No human can see me unless I want them to, and the same goes for hearing, smelling, feeling, or thinking about me. You have no idea how great this is for peeping on girls."
The thought made Makoto shudder a little. "Let's just go."
It was almost time for class anyways.
As soon as Makoto exited the classroom, he was confronted by a good friend of his; Kyoko Kirigiri, the Ultimate Detective.
"Ooh!" Kyu gasped as her eyes travelled across Kyoko's modest yet attractive form. "Stoic chicks are so cute. Either you fuck 'em so hard that the cock-drunk look stays there permanently, or they grin like an animal while you eat them out. No in betweens."
Makoto involuntarily cringed a little as Kyu spoke, and Kyoko raised an eyebrow towards him.
"Makoto, is there something wrong? You seem tense."
"Ah, nothing. Something in the air," he explained, glancing a bit towards Kyu.
Kyoko nodded and smiled a little. "It's good to see you."
"Th-thanks," Makoto sputtered, his blush being clearly noticeable from a distance. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kyu recoil in shock.
"This is how you talk to girls and you're somehow not slaying pussy like a master? You have the shy and chivalrous schtick down pat!"
"I was actually hoping to ask you a question, if that's okay with you," Kyoko began.
"Absolutely!" Makoto blurted out a little too quickly. Stupid curse.
"Would you be willing to help me with something after school? I sometimes have issues with the more… artistic assignments that Ms. Yokizume assigns us."
"Of course, Kyoko! I'll see you there!" Makoto almost shouted, the words flying from his mouth faster than he could think of them.
"It's good to see your enthusiasm. Meet me after your last class."
"Without a doubt!"
Makoto and Kyu watched as the Ultimate Detective spun around and marched down the hall, hips swaying just enough to make Kyu visibly drool.
"Dude, this is the easiest fucking gig of my life," Kyu declared as Makoto turned towards her. "That chick is absolutely throwing herself at you. The only question is whether or not she'll be kissing your dick or you'll be kissing her clit by the end of the day."
"Kyu, I want that to happen," Makoto tried to argue, before realizing his choice of words. "I want that to happen. No! I mean, I want that to happen! Why can't I say it?"
"'Don't' is another form of 'No' under the spell."
"This is great," Makoto tried to whine.
"Oh, stop being a fucking virgin. Let's head to your stupid class."
The next class was Physical Education, and Makoto's worst fears were validated as soon as he started changing in the locker room.
"Holy fucking penis!" Kyu exclaimed as she fawned over Taka's nude form, the oblivious student changing in the corner. "This kid could kill a girl with that thing!"
Makoto made it a point to not gawk at his classmate's genitals, so he had to take her word for it.
Even as the other males started clearing out, Kyu kept commenting on them.
"Fuck, look at that Togami guy walk. That ass was just fucking built for smacking. I bet so many girls would love to knock him down a peg or two."
Kyu turned to notice Makoto still in the locker room, sitting against the locker.
"What, you don't agree?"
"I just don't like guys that way," the Ultimate Lucky Student explained.
"Wait, what?" Kyu asked, as if he'd asked her to not masturbate for the day.
"I've just never liked a guy in.. that way."
"That's… that's possible?"
Makoto wasn't sure how to explain this. "Uh, yeah?"
"I mean, I know it is, but I'm more used to working with… well… more open-minded people. Not even a femboy?"
"I don't know what that is."
"Y'know, that Chihiro kid."
"But Chihiro's a girl."
Kyu blinked a few times before a 'eureka face' came across her. Quickly, she pulled a notepad and pen out of her bra and began filling it out.
"She and her," Kyu muttered as she wrote it down. "Every time this happens I feel like a bitch."
"Wait wait, what's with Chihiro?"
"Nothing you need to know," Kyu responded with a hint of accusation as she put the notepad and pen back into the evidently infinite recesses of her bra. "Got it?"
Makoto raised his hands. "Okay then."
Other than that scene, Physical Education went without a hitch. It was what happened afterwards that complicated things.
"Hey Mac," a certain Ultimate Soldier began as she approached him. "Whatcha doing after school?"
"Yo, a tomboy!" Kyu declared. "I fucking love those. It's, like, the ultimate bi experience."
"Nothing whatsoever!" Makoto replied as his brain screamed into the cold and uncaring void.
"Neat, I was hoping you'd be able to be my spotter for my workout." Mukuro explained. "I was gonna try breaking my maxes and Junko doesn't like helping with that stuff."
"Can do! Directly after school! Yes! Gladly!"
"Umm, okay. See ya then."
"One-hundred percent!"
As Mukuro walked away, Makoto turned to Kyu with a look of sheer horror.
"I can attend both events at the same time!" He yelled in desperation, before letting out a grunt of pure despair as the wording reached his ears.
"Yeah, metaphorical No's aren't allowed either. Still, it's not as bad as it could be. That Mukuro girl is a real piece, if you know what I mean. The kind of girl who sticks her boot down your gullet and has you begging for more."
Makoto cringed at the image of Mukuro fitting an entire boot into his throat. "Whatever, the point is, I can do this."
The Ultimate 'Lucky' Student bit his sleeve and screamed as quietly as possible.
"Well, look at the bright side. If for whatever stupid and dumb reason you don't want to do sexy stuff, they can't make you do that."
"But what about everything else? I can't do all of this, and people could easily add stuff after school."
The Love Fairy shrugged. "Ah well, what's a guy to do?"
"Today is gonna suck," Makoto lamented, dreading what was to come.