"I'm pretty sure I need psychiatric help by this point."-Bill Hicks
Test day in Makoto's first class. The air was thick with silence as a little over a dozen students frantically scribbled on their papers.
Silent, except for one particular fairy.
"This is fucking LAME!" Kyu exclaimed, doing a flying backflip over Makoto's head. "I came here to help you slay pussy, not slay math."
The Ultimate Lucky Student was pretty adept at ignoring her antics. The test was difficult enough that devoting brain power to it distracted him from whatever it was Kyu was doing.
For the most part.
"Hey, dick-for-brains," the Love Fairy spoke towards Junko Enoshima, who remained unable to hear her. "Ever heard of 'Goat Girl?'"
Makoto's ears perked up at the strange statement. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kyu cup her hands over her mouth as a dark, intense look came into her eyes.
"Goat Girl has gone into estrus," Kyu boomed in a low, sultry voice. "She is in need of nubile virgins with questionable morals regarding sexuality."
His focus having left the test entirely, Makoto's eyes followed Kyu around as she analyzed each of his classmates.
"This small one is quite adorable," 'Goat Girl' declared as she hovered over Hiyoko Saionji's desk. 'Cute' was the last word most people would use towards the Ultimate Traditional Dancer, but then again, Kyu didn't know her. "Goat Girl desires to put her tongue so far in her loli ass that she can taste the bowels."
A light gag left Makoto's throat, one that his classmates, thankfully, didn't hear. As quick as she came, Goat Girl zoomed over to the teacher, Ms. Yokizume.
"Teachers are the best kind of fuck. You give these bitches five-hundred yen and they'll drink piss by the gallon," Goat Girl declared as she sat on the desk. "This one in particular looks desperate for cash. Goat Girl desires to see her thrown in a room with a dozen particularly muscular, well hung males."
As if that sequence of sentences wasn't horrendous enough, Kyu then dropped her hands to the side, looked up, and began grinding against the desk while doing a bad impersonation of Chisa's voice.
"Oh god, yes, yes," Kyu moaned in an overly nasally voice.
Then, she put her hands back over her mouth. "Goat Girl's massive fucking futa cock is pleased with your virginal educationhole."
The love fairy stood up and backflipped off the desk, her wings fluttering intensely to keep her suspended in the air as she approached Chiaki Nanami.
"Fuck are you an adorable piece of nerdmeat," Goat Girl opined as she flew circles around Chiaki. "Goat Girl is willing to bet that eating you out is just as good as fucking you."
Makoto dropped his pen as Kyu continued. Slowly, she started imitating doing just that. Horrible squelching and sucking noises assaulted Makoto's ears as Kyu tonguefucked the small gap she made between her hands. The Love Fairy seemed to be genuinely into it too, bobbing her head and circling her tongue as she began making mocking moans in between the horrible noises.
"Oh, fuck, Goat Girl," Kyu moaned. "Wear me like a feed bag!"
Leaning back and throwing her hands into the air, Kyu let out a long 'Ahh' noise in imitation of an orgasm.
Turning around, Kyu locked eyes with Makoto and started laughing.
"Am I distracting you?" Kyu inquired, almost daring Makoto to say anything. The Ultimate Lucky Student tried to refocus on the test, but then he felt Kyu hover over him.
"Goat Girl is hurt by your indifference," Kyu stated in that horrible, horrible voice. "You do not want Goat Girl to shove her tongue into your urethra?"
Makoto could imagine the act for a second, and that was all he needed to start shivering in the middle of class.
"Goat Girl could directly stimulate your prostate. It would be a thousand heavens stacked upon each other, as only a master slut such as Goat Girl can provide."
As if to prove her point, Kyu made a fist with her hand, turned so Makoto could clearly see what happened next, and started driving her tongue in between the fingers.
"Gulk, gulk, gulk," she moaned, making eye contact with Makoto and giving him the most lustful stare imaginable. "Your urethra tastes better than most guy's cum~"
His blush was overwhelming, and Makoto had to bury his head in his hands to keep from staring at Kyu. And yet, she continued.
"Or, maybe you want something special."
He couldn't stop himself from looking. Kyu stood up, mimed the act of gripping a dick, and positioned herself over the pantomimed penis.
"Oh fuck," she moaned as she pretended to lower herself down upon it. "Goat Girl is in heat. It's the most dangerous time of the month."
The Ultimate Lucky Student was transfixed. Kyu miming riding his cock was somehow both the most erotic and most repugnant sight he had ever seen.
"You're absolutely massive~ It feels like shitting out of my pussy," Kyu whined, using one hand to get back into the proper 'Goat Girl' voice. "Join me in the pleasures of bestiality!"
Then, in an act of divine punishment for the already shattered ears of Makoto, Kyu mimed an orgasmic moan just as the class bell rung; her gravelly voice harmonizing with the grating bell in the worst duo Makoto had heard ever since he'd overheard Sayaka trying to give Leon singing lessons.
The rest of the class started packing their things and submitting their tests, while Makoto sat paralyzed. Kyu laughed herself into a fit in the air over the center of the classroom.
"I slay myself, that was great," Kyu reviewed. "Anyways, what's next?"
Makoto's catatonic state was interrupted by Chisa tapping on his shoulder.
"Excuse me, Makoto? You still need to submit your test."
"Yes, yes," the traumatized male repeated as he handed a half-blank test to his teacher. She gave a look of concern over its status before returning to her desk, just as Kyu flew a bit closer to him.
"C'mon kid, time for your next dumb class."
The Love Fairy led Makoto out of the classroom, and it wasn't until the middle of next class he would fully recover from this horrible event.