.
Chapter IX: Family Matters
Of all powers, love forgives most,
but condones least;
pleased with little,
it demands all.
~CS Lewis
"You awake?" Aerith whispered, quiet as she could be, even as the earliest rays of the sun dusted their ways through the slightly-fogged glass.
Rinoa's half-groan was her response, "I wish I wasn't."
Aerith carefully shifted Zack's arm, draped over her shoulder, so she could catch sight of her friend—it was almost like their old sleepovers, she thought—except that they actually went to bed now and woke up at a time that reasonable people would still call "morning".
"That makes sense." Aerith replied. Rinoa only smiled and pulled her blanket over her head, turning herself into little more than a balled-up bit of drapery atop Squall's chest. He, himself, was still sitting in the exact same position Aerith had last seen the night before—a feat that half-impressed and half-worried her, though none of it was surprising.
"Well, there's nothing to say for it—" Aerith continued in a whisper, "Time to get the day started!"
A slight murmur from Rinoa, and a shift in the blanket, was her only response. Aerith tittered, as she slipped out from under Zack and flattened out the wrinkles in her dress. Zack, much to her pain, never stopped moving in his sleep and had somehow got himself wrapped three-times round with his blanket, with a pillow under one arm and his head nearly slipping from the lounge.
Shaking her own head, Aerith gently restored his to safer country, lifted a stay leg back off the floor, and restored his blanket to some semblance of order. Turning as she patted down her hair, she took stock of her guests and roommates: dear Merlin, still asleep in his chair, pipe held loosely in hand (she quickly snatched it up, telling herself it was to keep it from falling, but knowing she'd try to hide it from him again—it was such an awful habit!).
Across from him, Cloud lay curled into a ball, his body wedged between the arm and back of the lounge he shared with Tifa—who was now totally stretched out, with the tips of her toes prodding Cloud's side; the contented look of a satisfied slumber stretched across her face.
With a second examination of Cloud, enough to satisfy Aerith he wasn't suffering any sort of sleep terror or disturbance-no twitching, shifting, groans or fluttering eyes—Aerith realized only one was missing: Cid, who she assumed must have headed out early to continue his work. That was pretty typical—she'd have to bring him breakfast later.
"Hehehe…" a brief giggle from Squall's lap-blanket suddenly caught Aerith's attention, "Remember…hehe…remember when I dared you to sneak out some of Merlin's fireworks for Garnet's sleepover?"
"And we nearly caught her room on fire?" Aerith answered quickly, remembering that evening with both amusement and embarrassment.
"Only because you went overboard and brought a whole armful!" Rinoa broke out, "Weren't you just trying to impress her brother, hmm?"
"Okay, that's enough!" Aerith yell-whispered, reaching over to drag Rinoa's blanket from her.
Rinoa, eyes wide, returned with an equally serious whisper, "Nooo, nooo! I'll be good! It's too nice and warm in here!"
"Fine." Aerith smiled, warning her with a wave of her finger, "Be good!"
Rinoa nodded vigorously, as Aerith began to gather a few wayward dishes from dessert, pushing in Merlin's footstool in the process, as it had begun to slip out from under him—as it tended to do. She really needed to anchor it down somehow…
"Would you like any help?" Rinoa asked, following Aerith's tiptoes across the room with her eyes.
"No, no," Aerith chided with a smile, "You just got back and you're the guest. You stay right there."
With a smile, Rinoa nodded her appreciation and pulled the blanket up and over her chin, her eyes still lit with a joy that surpassed the morning and warmed Aerith's heart. There was something so kindly infectious about Rinoa—just a look communicated to Aerith her appreciation, her familiarity, and her love.
"Awww!" Rinoa's muffled whisper came next, "Look at those two under that blanket! So cute!"
Aerith nodded, looking over the back of the lounge as Tifa stretched a little, prodding Cloud to shift and compress himself even more, as if he was trying to disappear into the cushions.
"She certainly is dedicated to him." Aerith sighed. "I'm proud of all she does."
"I think she needs to put her foot down more, you know. Cloud can't be her whole life." Rinoa answered.
Aerith couldn't disagree—everything she gave up for him, everything she sacrificed; she believed, she had to believe, it went somewhere; affected him somehow, but even Aerith would be lying to say it made a clear impact.
"How is Cloud doing out there, Rinoa?" Aerith asked, sitting beneath Zack, without taking her eyes from them.
"I worry about him." Replied the ever-frank Rinoa, much to Aerith's appreciation. "Something is always bothering him. He's always looking over his shoulder, you know?" she kept her bright eyes trained on him, "Sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not. He's a good kid, but there's something missing. He's too quiet."
Aerith raised an eyebrow.
"Not like Squall-quiet. Worse. More isolated." Rinoa responded.
Aerith nodded, understanding totally but unsure what else to say
"It's really good that you took him in." Rinoa continued, "Good, but I have to say, just a touch…crazy."
"It took a little while to convince Merlin." Aerith replied, eyes still attached to Cloud, as if trying to see through everything he had piled up atop him.
"I remember. Your track record with Cid didn't help, either."
"Aw, they get along fine; way down deep—where it counts." Aerith affirmed, knowing how much the bluster of both men covered. They were almost simple that way—everything they had was on their sleeve, just out there to be seen by anyone with the right eyes. But Cloud…Cloud was a good deal more separated; like one of Merlin's old toys: a lockbox inside a lockbox.
"And Merlin has come around to Cloud—and Tifa—just as well." She smiled, "Especially when he saw Cloud's militant cleanliness!"
"So that's why it looks so good around here!" Rinoa acknowledged, as Aerith nodded slightly, her eyes still fixed on Cloud.
"And you, Aerith—how about you?" Rinoa asked, "How are you doing back here in the Garden?"
"Well, you know…" Aerith began slowly, almost hesitantly. Rinoa was prodding at something Aerith hadn't fully allowed herself to recognize, "I keep myself busy. Between work at the infirmary and my own gardens, I barely have time to referee between Cid and Merlin?"
Rinoa's silence told Aerith she was contemplating something, so she continued, "Tifa comes over, too, when she can—we go for walks." With no response forthcoming, Aerith pressed on, "And then you guys come back and I have all my friends again!" she finally turned her eyes back to Zack, joyfully reminding herself that he was here; he was real—Zack was here. And despite being left alone in Radiant Garden, these times made up for it entirely.
"Aww, look at you!" Rinoa cooed, "You two! Just look at how you look at him! Your eyes!"
Aerith blushed slightly, brushing back at Rinoa without disturbing Squall, "Physician, heal thyself!"
Rinoa arched an eyebrow, "Was that supposed to be a doctor joke?"
"Er, maybe?"
"What's really wrong, Aerith?" Rinoa suddenly steered the conversation back, her eyes becoming serious just as Aerith realized she had been lulled into distraction.
Knowing there was no point in hiding anything, Aerith sighed, "Things just…aren't right here. I'm feeling…like the Garden is moving away from me."
"What do you mean?"
"I go out there, Rinoa and—you know, it looks the same on top—but underneath…underneath something's changing." She sighed, her eyes drifting back to Cloud, "People aren't like they used to be. They're more scared, and that makes them angry. Princess Kairi's party makes it seem like everything's okay, but…it just feels thin to me."
Cloud's breaths were coming slowly, his short blonde spikes rising and sinking with each one-Aerith spoke quietly now, matching almost the volume of those breaths, "They think there's going to be another war. People are looking for someone to blame—you should hear what they whisper about at the infirmary."
"Yeah," Rinoa nodded, relieving Aerith's verbose embarrassment by her balm of sympathy, "That's what it's like out there, too. Things seem to be balanced on an edge."
"People lock their doors earlier and the gates rarely open." Aerith wondered why she was saying so much, "Every train is suspicious and every visitor, too."
"Everyone looks for a scapegoat." Rinoa affirmed, her voice itself thin.
Aerith, eager for a change, quickly shifted—though not without a hesitating hiccup, "H-how about you? Do you have a date yet?"
"October 13th, next year, of course." Rinoa murmured, still engaged in the prior topic.
"But does Squall know?" Aerith asked, risking a smile to try and push it further.
"Not yet, but he will soon if he doesn't propose himself!" Rinoa replied, her attention lightening, much to Aerith's relief. These sorts of things were dreadfully uncomfortable—especially with Cloud sleeping right there. How was one to talk about their home changing around them?
"Tonight would be a perfect time for him to ask, hmm?" Aerith added, thinking forward to the Princess' birthday.
Rinoa snorted and stroked Squall's chin, lightly, causing him a slight stir, "That's how you can know he won't."
Aerith smiled, her own mind turning to Zack—one day, she was sure—a long way away, when the time was right-maybe he'd-
"Sooooo…what's for breakfast?" Zack suddenly asked with a yawn, blue eyes as startlingly bright and wide as when she had first looked up at them. There was never any 'in-between' with Zachary Fair. Aerith noticed with amusement that Rinoa had definitely startled with Zack's awakening, but tried to hide it by ducking back under her blanket.
"You'll have to make it yourself, Mr. Sunshine!" Aerith smiled sweetly.
Zack opened his mouth to speak, but Aerith interrupted, "Without waking Tifa. Let her sleep."
Zack raised an inquisitive brow at Aerith, a smirk dancing about his mouth as Rinoa giggled from Aerith's rebuke, "Hey, so why is that blanket laughing…?"
Aerith merely shrugged, anticipating the smile with her own, as she leaned back against his legs for a hug.
Zack spoke to the blanket with a grin, as he obliged Aerith's request, "So Rinoa, what're you up to under—"
"Sleeping!" Rinoa announced firmly, as Squall shifted and snored above her.
Aqua took another breath of the late afternoon air which drifted through the window above the nook she had nestled herself in. Turning the page of another ancient tome-The Embodied Spiritual Heart by some unnamed Master—she eagerly devoured sentence after sentence. This was her favorite time of day—when she could hide away in the quiet, while everyone was off in their own concerns, and breathe the heavy air of books.
It is thus a mistake to presume composition alone of the heart, body and spirit. Indeed, there is nothing separable about them-and if they were, it would be naught but an intrinsic failure; a half-formed semi-being; abomination.
Aqua had to pause, leaning her head back against the cushion beneath her to consider that statement, to really live inside it and digest its nutrition.
Yet, to presume simplicity alone would, too, be a mistake. The heart is not the spirit is not the body; they are each discernibly separate aspects of being. No given instantiation of being can be complete without each element, in its proper role, receiving and giving to the other two. Each individual is holistic—having body, spirit and heart altogether; indeed, the instantiation of being—the person-is nothing other the full-orbed manifestation of these three bounded together in aspectual harmony. Being is more musical chord than cold equation.
Another moment of consideration; breathing in the majestic image. Was this to make better sense of what she had read of the spells a few weeks ago?
Thus, the spirit is married in union to the heart—giving it essence, being and consciousness. The heart then takes up the spirit and garbs it artfully, committing it to a character, a form, a person, with the material of memory, emotion, cognition, and relationship. The heart manifests the spirit as the spirit gives itself to the heart. Taking these two together, the body gives sensory and corporeal manifestation; returning to each the gift of cognition and experience, and in its exterior presentation, the capability to see itself wholly. To remove one aspect invites disaster, but to perceive each particular and yet appreciate the beauty of the inseparable whole is to love life itself—this is the mystery of being, of Kingdom Hearts.
Aqua sighed, laying the book down on her breast and closing her eyes. Only another few paragraphs and she already felt elevated. To stand back and see the whole of life, and herself within, taken up into fullness—well, she pitied the little studies she had read of the Apprentices at the Bastion. They had found the whole answer in picking apart the pieces—as if something dead, pieces broken up from a functioning whole, would somehow better reveal the truth. No, this way of thinking revealed far more to her—it did, in fact, make better sense of the magic she had been studying, particularly with reference to advanced-stage Cure magic—
"Hey, Aqua—" Ven announced, as he strode into the room, eying her curiously, "Uh, what're you doing?"
"Reading." Aqua responded, thinking it would be obvious, "Why—"
But as she looked up to finally see Ven, she remembered why—he was dressed in the flowing white robes of their Father, tinged slightly grey; the most formal attire they had. His small head, with its upward swish of golden-spiked hair, looked like only a small dollop atop the large, swirling robes that entirely covered the rest of his body.
"The Princess' party—" Aqua started, realization-dawning.
"Begins in an hour, right." Ven finished, shaking his head with a smile.
A moment of panic washed over Aqua, but two breaths and a calming thought brought peace to the sudden change, which had totally skipped her mind.
"Don't worry, I can still make it." Aqua closed her book and, gently returning it to its place on the sill, turned and marched down the hall.
Ven, almost stumbling over his robes, followed after her, "Who said anything about worry?" with a snort, "I was worried that I had got it wrong."
Turning the nob to her small room—simple, but very well-colored, in her estimation, with marvelous blues and purples—Aqua quickly moved to her wardrobe, shifting through it to retrieve out her own white robes, slimmer than Ven's and tinged with a light blue shading.
"So that book must've been pretty interesting, huh?" Ven asked, as she slipped the robe over her head and began to fasten its many loops and ties together.
"Absolutely!" she responded, feigning offense that he would even ask, "Just think about this, Ven: if the heart, spirit, and body are all as interrelated as they say, then there must be a way that a Cure spell-through some sort of exchange between heart and spirit—" she recognized that Ven was beginning to only smile out of politeness, but she didn't mind—maybe he'd learn something here, "—then that Cure spell might be able to heal not only the body, but also the deep wounds of the heart."
"That sounds like it could get pretty morbid…" Ven replied, pointing out where a ruffle in her robes lay flipped.
Aqua shook her head, as she finished trimming up the hems. She didn't like them covering her feet—too hard to walk or fight. "It's really pretty exciting actually—Ven, I'm talking about the Ja-level spells. Curaja could, potentially-using spirit as a conduit—heal the heart."
"Well, Aqua, you may be getting bored with the Ga- spells," Ven chuckled, "But I'm still figuring out the Ra-spells!"
"Maybe if you studied more, you'd be able to talk about these exhilarating possibilities, hmm?" Aqua responded, love and familiarity mixed in her chiding tone.
"Orrrrr," Ven dragged out, "I could leave the arcane stuff to you. Me n' and Terra are mostly the blunt force, anyway." He paused, before smiling "Well, Terra, at least."
Aqua laughed with him, as she turned her attention to the mirror and her hair. As she clipped it back, Ven continued, "So what do you think we'll find in the Bastion? What are we even looking for?"
"Father says we are looking for darkness," Aqua replied, tucking a few clips between her lips as she perfected her hair, "Those will be the trails we follow, which will lead us to any connections between Shinra and the Bastion."
"But…how?"
"Just do like he taught us. Feel out for it. Use the Keyblade like a focus to sense out the darkness," she flashed a smile, "And also, good old detective skills will help, too. Look for anything suspicious."
Ven shook his head with a self-demeaning scowl, "You know how I am at that. I'll just have to follow Terra's lead."
"Do you think…" Aqua spoke with consideration, more than aware the thin ice upon which she walked, "Do you think Terra will be able to see things clearly?"
"What do you mean?" Ven replied, voice faltering.
Aqua faltered slightly as brushed back the last few bangs, "You know…how he is. Especially when it comes to Father?"
"I'm not sure—"
Aqua continued furtively, though a little more forcefully than she meant, "You must have sensed it—I'm worried about…"
Aqua turned from the mirror to completely face Ven-his poor, worried face!—oh, he loved Terra so. How could she just so simply undermine that?
"I'm just worried, Ven," Aqua frowned, "I just don't want him to become bitter or angry…I'm probably just too worried—you know how I am-"
Ven's face brightened at her comforting self-effacement, as Aqua hid her own enlarging concern—Ven couldn't be so blind that he wasn't seeing Terra's struggle, right? Certainly, his admiration couldn't obscure Terra that much?
Or was she the one who was blinded?
"You two ready for the party?" Terra himself suddenly announced with a smile, his large frame filling the doorway—made even more broad by his bulky, slight-brown-tinged, white robe, which lay swept around him almost like he had only just arrived from some distant desert journey.
Aqua had already swirled back to her mirror, looking at her two brothers in its reflection. Ven turned quickly to Terra with a grin of own, "Of course! Aqua's just finishing up—she got lost studying this new spell or something—Curax-?"
"Curaja," Aqua corrected, rolling her eyes in a way that only Terra could see; a private "you-know-how-he-is" between the two eldest siblings.
"A Ja-level spell, eh?" Terra raised an eyebrow, "That would be impressive, Aqua."
"She says it would involve some kid of exchange of heart or spirit, right?" Ven continued, eagerly pushing the conversation away from where it had previously been going.
"Sort-of." Aqua replied, as she put the final clips in her hair, ensuring it fell just right. Terra just wore whatever was on his head that day, but Aqua knew—to her private enjoyment—that Ven put even more work than her into that gravity-defying thing his hair did.
"Oh? What would the Master think of that?" Terra replied, his tone that of a teasing joke, but with a dangerous edge to it, "Wouldn't that stray a little close to the ways of darkness?"
"If it heals, it is of light," Aqua quoted, "Everything good has its source in Kingdom Hearts."
Terra looked off past Aqua, "But can something like that exist? Could you even recognize it without some kind of darkness?" he paused and Aqua didn't respond; she knew he wasn't finished, "If everything we see arises from Kingdom Hearts, how can a part of the great Heart not be dark in a world such as this?"
"Dad wouldn't like that kind of question!" Ven chuckled, trying to re-introduce a little levity—but to Aqua's concern, Terra remained solemn, his eyes finally turning to her.
She turned to check herself over one final time, and quoted back simply, "It is not dark that makes the world more interesting, but the multiplicity of light, freely brought into being."
"A quote for every occasion." Terra smiled ruefully, eyes more focused.
Aqua smiled in return, with a slight nod.
"We should get going!" Ven suddenly interrupted, dragging Terra back by his arm-resembling more a young boy trying to hang off an enormous tree branch.
Nodding, Terra led the way out of the hall, Ven still clinging to him, down past their own rooms. Aqua watched the back of his head, willing herself to see through the surface. What was going on inside of that head? They had always enjoyed questioning and challenging each other, but her brother…he was almost embracing the idea of darkness—to be sure, not darkness itself, but more its necessity. He seemed to almost believe it was required; as if the universe couldn't be itself without it-that even, hidden away somewhere in Kingdom Hearts, there must be some flicker of darkness.
There were some of the ancient writers who spoke in similar ways—of the necessity of contrast, of Kingdom Heart's all-encompassing nature, which included even the violent darkness of the universe; but these thoughts had always seemed, to Aqua, to be contradictory and incoherent. If light was the perfect state, how could the source of that light also produce light's corruption?
She needed to read more, she decided—as she always did. For now, though, she needed merely to catch up.
In moments, the three had passed into the center chamber of their little monasterial citadel, centered between the shorter, white halls that stretched out on either side, under their own towers that descended from this main one. Passing underneath the balcony, and the thrones atop the opposite dais, they exited out onto the long stairs that stretched down to the green, rolling lawn, which fell down the great hill which led into the boroughs and districts of Radiant Garden-already filling with lights, as the sun began to set beyond the wall, striking the clear sky with oranges and pinks.
Before them, just beyond the final bower that the stone path led to from their door, Father sat, cross-legged and meditating, looking out over the city. Respectfully, they stood several feet from him in silence, listening to his deep breaths on the light wind.
"Ah, my," Eraqus sighed finally and looked over his students, "What professional looking children I have."
"Thank you, Father/Dad/Master," Came the replies; Aqua still cringing inside at Terra's distant honorific. When had they grown so apart?
Eraqus slowly stood to his feet, his own pure-white robes miraculously unstained, "Once we are within the Bastion, we shall re-evaluate our plans—all the same, however, be prepared and discreet. Look for threats both within and without," he breathed in deeply, eyes closed, "I can sense a tension. We must both continue our investigation and watch over this gathering. That is our duty as Keyblade Wielders."
All three nodded, as Eraqus continued, "But I shall not begrudge any of you some measure of…" his eyes, now open, sparkled lightly, "…fun. It is a momentous occasion after all—I am certain," his voice dipped back to a serious, almost challenging, tone, "that you each can handle yourselves accordingly?"
"Certainly." Terra, serious; though with a hidden depth of mischievousness that Aqua recalled well from their childhood.
"Of course!" Ven, bursting with fun already, announced.
And Aqua, last, all to please: "Yes, Father."
With a satisfied smile, Eraqus turned to lead them down the their hill and into the city below, which had begun to glow all across its great breadth and width in the twilight, as Hollow Bastion itself erupted in radiance from its center, like a flower blooming in the crisp night air, all covered in lights and banners and colors and the warm sounds of music and joy.