Chapter 1: Virginity Lost

In one year my entire life fell apart. Like it totally and completely fell apart. I should back up though. My name is Olive Rozalski and I grew up with what I thought was an ideal life. I had two parents and four brothers who cared about me, and a best friend named Sydney who I loved with all my heart. I spent so much time with her and her family, that I felt like I was part of it. But then one day I got the call that... Sydney and her dad died. On the day after my 13th birthday, the two got into a car accident and soon after I passed away. I lost my best friend and my second family. I was devastated. Then one month later my parents separated. Apparently they had been fighting for months but I had been at Sydney's place so much I hadn't noticed. All of my brothers moved out of the house as well. My two oldest siblings went to college, and the other two moved in with my dad. I was alone now with a grieving and mentally broken mother. My best friend Sydney was gone, and the family I knew was gone. But then I thought I found a refuge from the storm the night I lost my virginity...

Olive was wearing a green gymnastic leotard and was swinging back and forth on a bar in a large gym. Several girls were leaving the room leaving Olive as the last person working out. A young adult male in a white t-shirt and black sweat pants stepped in and said, "Hey Olive. Still working out? You've been at it for five hours straight today." Olive glanced at the man and said, "Oh hey Coach Ted. Yeah, I know I've been working out a lot. Just wanna be ready for the competition next month. Plus I'm not eager to go home. Is it okay if I keep working out and practicing?" Ted then said, "Well officially we close in five minutes. But it's my turn to clean up tonight, and since it takes me about two hours to do that, you can stay that long if you like." Olive smiled and said, "Thanks." As Ted began to wipe down some equipment he said, "So everything okay at home?" Olive then stopped working out as she sighed and said, "Well... my parents got divorced. My dad won't call me, and my mom is just a wreck. It's no fun being there anymore." Ted with a sympathetic face said, "I hear you. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and... it's just hard doing the simpler things in life right now." Olive now looking sympathetic said, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." Ted looked down a bit as he said, "She... just jumped to the wrong conclusions about me too fast. I wish she'd give me a chance."

Olive then said, "Well I know jumping to conclusions is wrong. She should be more patient with you." Ted looked at Olive as he made a little smile and said, "Thanks Olive. I wish my girlfriend was as kind as you... or had a body as hot as yours." Olive suddenly blushed as she smiled and said, "Wow, thank you. I mean... no one has ever said I look hot before." Ted smiled as he said, "Well trust me, you do. I mean that tight leotard doesn't hide anything. I mean if I was just a few years younger I'd do anything for a body like yours." Olive then blushed more as she had a big grin on her face as she said, "Well... I mean age is just a number. So if you want..." Ted looking a bit nervous but excited said, "You mean you'd be willing to..." Olive then said, "Maybe. I mean... look, I'm gonna shower now. But if you wanna join me..." Olive then cut herself off as she made a big grin and walked out of the gym. Olive briefly looked back at Ted and made a sexy smile as she winked. Then Olive headed towards the girls locker room.

So many emotions went through my head in that moment. Ted had been my gymnastics coach for four years. He had cared for and looked out for me when my own father hadn't. I knew he was older than me, and me having romantic feelings for him, and him especially having romantic feelings for me was wrong. But to have someone attracted to you when you don't have love... it's intoxicating. And I desperately wanted to feel love so badly. And so... I crossed a line that night I could never come back from...

Olive stood in the girls' locker room shower naked as she washed her hair. Olive heard the sound of a door open near her. Olive turned her head and smiled as she saw a naked Ted emerge into the room and walk towards her. Ted looked up and down Olive's nude body and smiled as he said, "God, you're so freaking beautiful." Olive blushed once again as she bit her lower lip, and then said, "Thank you. And you're pretty insanely attractive yourself." Ted then got right in front of Olive. Being two feet taller than her, he had to look down in order to continue starring at Olive's body. So then Ted got on his knees and immediately began to kiss Olive. Olive immediately kissed Ted back as she wrapped her arms around his back. Ted then moved his lips down and began to kiss Olive's small underage breasts, while he dug a large finger into Olive's vagina. Olive began to moan loudly as she said, "Ohhh! OOHHH! YES TED! YES!"

Then Ted got up and picked up Olive in his arms, with his two hands supporting Olive by putting his open palms on Olive's smooth and wet underage buttocks. Olive in turn, wrapped her legs around Ted's torso tight. Then Ted immediately pushed Olive's body against the shower wall and rammed his large warm adult penis into Olive's young hairless underage vagina. Olive moaned loudly as she felt Ted's large hard manhood push deep into her thirteen year old body. At first it went in just half an inch. But with another thrust by Ted it went in a whole inch. Then two inches. Then three. Olive moaned loud and grabbed Ted tight as she felt pressure inside her body like she had never felt before. Olive wasn't sure she could handle something so large inside of her, but the pleasure she was also feeling and Ted's affection made her want to Ted to continue. As Ted kept pumping his penis into Olive he then kissed her on the lips for a moment and then said, "Oh yes Olive. Oh God, your pussy feels so good. It's the wettest, tightest, and hottest pussy ever. Come on baby. Tell your big daddy how much harder you want it." Olive smiled as she said, "Harder big daddy. Hmmm. HARDER!"

Ted then moved Olive off the wall and placed her on the wet shower floor. Ted then got on top of Olive and shoved his whole body drilling his adult penis incredibly hard and deep into Olive's thirteen year old body. Olive's body shook as she yelled, "Oh yes Ted! OHHH! OH YEAH! OHHHH! HARDER! HARDER! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Olive felt her body being crushed by Ted but she didn't care. She just loved the affection, attention, and pleasure this powerful grown man was giving her. And then just as Olive felt herself orgasm, she suddenly felt Ted orgasm as well and shoot is large wet load into her. The two sexual partners shook for a moment as Olive's mouth opened wide open and with a look of complete satisfaction she yelled, "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Then eventually everything calmed down and ended. Ted pulled himself out of Olive. Olive then turned her body over as she said, "Ted. That was... wow." Ted grinned as he said, "You got a hot pussy and a hot ass Olive. If you promise never to tell anyone we did this, I guarantee we'll do it again. Anyway, gotta go. Use the back door when you leave." Ted then playfully slapped Olive's bare butt as he stood up, and then walked out of the locker room. Olive then laid on her back as she looked up and smiled as she said, "Wow."

And right there in a girls locker room, I lost my virginity that night. The emotional high I felt from having sex was like being intoxicated. I couldn't think about what this meant in the grand scheme of my life. All I could think about was how much I felt like such a fulfilled woman. All of the pain I felt from Sydney dying and my family falling apart was gone now. All that was on my mind was the amazing pleasure I just experienced. But then soon... that pleasure disappeared...

Olive wore her green gymnastics leotard with shorts and shoes as she walked into her familiar gym with a smile on her face. But as Olive walked into the gym, she saw no one was practicing, the coaches were sitting off to the side, and several police officers were present talking to several girls. Olive walked over to one girl and said, "What's going on?" The girl looked at Olive and said, "Oh. Coach Ted got caught this morning having sex with a student in the girls' locker room, and got arrested. So they're doing some investigation now into what happened, and it looks like Coach Ted also had sex with a few other girls here too." Olive suddenly had a look of shock and pain her face as a few tears appeared in her eyes.

I lied when the police questioned me and said Coach Ted never had sex with me. I didn't need all the attention and have my class-mates think I was a slut. Besides, Coach Ted was already going to jail for life and one more testimony wouldn't change that. But I felt sick to my stomach for the next several weeks. The man I lost my virginity to and trusted my body with... had been having sex with tons of other girls my age... in the same place where I had sex with him. That location was supposed to be sacred, special, and memorable for me. Now just looking at the door to that locker room made me sick. I never went back to that gym after that incident. I spent the next several weeks after school in my room doing nothing but crying. I was also in a panic for eight weeks due to worrying that when Coach Ted had his orgasm in me, he got me pregnant. I was too afraid to get a pregnancy test, but after two months of no change in my body, I realized I was safe. But I wasn't safe. The world had hurt me yet again and I felt so hurt inside. I had lost my best friend Sydney, I had lost my family, and I had lost my purity. I felt like I could never trust the world again. And as I grew up... it only got worse...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter 2: Sins That Cannot Be Erased

Olive was sitting on a high school science class, when suddenly a blonde teenage boy walked over to her and said, "You're Olive Rozalski, right? I'm Evan." Olive looked at the boy: Evan as she said, "Uh, yeah." Then Evan said, "Anyway, we were assigned to be partners in science lab this semester. Hey, aren't we in the same English and Math class?" Olive then said, "Yeah, I think. I always sit in the back." Then Evan said, "Well you're always free to come towards the front and sit with me any time. I always carry extra snacks with me that I gorge on before class." Olive made a little smile as she said, "Well... I'll consider it."

I can't remember the first moment I ever saw Evan, but I can easily remember the first time we made a connection. Evan was sweet, kind, and always thoughtful of my needs. We quickly began to spend a lot of time together. We worked on our homework together every afternoon, did as many school group projects together, and even began to watch out favorite TV shows together every week. For an entire year, I finally felt like I found a new best friend. Everything seemed perfect with Evan. However there were little moments that seemed a bit off...

In the winter time Olive and Evan were walking together past piles of snow as Evan said, "So for our Shakespeare project due next month, I thought we could..." Then Olive suddenly saw ice ahead of her as she said, "Oh boy. A large patch of ice. YES!" Then Olive suddenly jumped ahead and began to slide on the ice a bit as she giggled. Olive then jumped off the ice, and once Evan caught up to her he said, "Olive, what's up with that? I was talking to you." Then Olive said, "I know, but I just really wanted to slide on that ice there." Then Evan said, "Yeah, well it's really rude to jump away from somebody while they're talking to you." Olive suddenly looking a bit confused and sad said, "Oh. Sorry."

The thing about Evan was he was just about an all around perfect guy. But for some reason... he got upset at when I myself didn't act perfect. I was made to feel like a criminal by him if I ran ahead to slide on some ice for a few seconds while he was talking. He would call me out if my voice in a small indoor room was getting too loud. He would make me feel guilty if I was more than a minute late to an event we both agreed to meet at. But I always felt like he knew best. His advice did come from a place of truth at all times. So I changed myself and put myself under the higher level of scrutiny he demanded. I felt like he deserved it because he always supported me and listened to me. I didn't tell him anything about my family life or my past traumas though. I wasn't ready to trust him with that information. But after nearly one year of friendship, one day I opened up to Evan and told him things I had not told anyone before...

Olive and Evan were sitting in the back of a school bus together as Evan said, "Still can't believe Stacey Kramer got pregnant at just 14. I mean I've been friends with her since we joined youth group together back in sixth grade. She should've known better." Then Olive said, "Well Stacey made a mistake. But at least she's keeping her baby and is working harder to be a better person." Then Evan said, "Well she made a choice she knew from the beginning was wrong. I mean I already vowed not to lose my virginity until I'm married. I understand the temptations people feel, but everyone has the power to resist them and do what's best for their future." Then Olive looked down as she said, "Well... maybe it's harder to resist temptations when your family is broken and you have no friends and it feels like nothing else in the world matters." Then a few tears appeared in Olive's eyes as she began to choke up and then said, "Evan... a year ago when my best friend Sydney died and my parents split up, I felt like I had no future and I... I had sex with my gymnastics coach. I instantly regretted it, and it has torn me up inside since. And I'm completely saying sorry to myself everyday for making such a terrible choice, and I wanna be better, and I have tried to be a better woman than I was the day I made that terrible choice." Evan then sat silent as he looked at Olive for a moment, but then looked away. Olive looked at Evan for a moment, but then looked away as well.

I knew Evan couldn't necessarily relate to me. Evan had two parents that had been happily married for over thirty years. He had three older siblings, and was already an uncle to one niece and one nephew. He and his family hadn't experienced the heartbreak I had. But I believe he had enough empathy and compassion to help comfort for me through my pain, and was strong and wise enough to see I regretted the terrible choice I made in my past and was already on the path to be a better woman. But my perception of Evan changed the next day...

Evan was standing near a school bus stop by himself as Olive walked up to him. Olive looked at Evan as she said, "Hey." Evan glanced at Olive as he said, "Hey." The two stood silent for a moment, and then Evan said, "Olive, we need to talk." Olive then said, "I know. I... Evan, I meant to tell you what I told you yesterday sooner. It's just... it's been hard for me because... I like you Evan. I really, really like you and want to be your girlfriend and support you and be there for you forever and..." Evan sighed and then said, "Olive... I like you too but... I don't think we should date each other." Olive looking caught off guard said, "What?" Evan then said, "Olive, I need a woman in my life who is like a loyal princess waiting for her knight to come and claim her. And... I don't see you as someone who can wait, and I don't see you as someone who is capable of being all in when it comes to a committed relationship. I'm sorry. I want to be your friend, but I don't see us being a couple as something that will work out." Olive looked devastated as she said, "Oh. Um... okay."

And in that moment, I felt completely destroyed. I had opened up to Evan. Shared my darkest secret with him, changed my life and habits to be the ideal woman for him. And he rejected me. In that moment, I felt like I would forever be branded a slut. I felt like no matter what I did for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be good enough to erase the sins of my past. I would try, but I felt like it would never be good enough. I retreated from the world after that. Barely talking to anyone at school, and just staying at home when I didn't have to be at school. My life was over. I would never find love. So I began to turn to what I thought was the next best thing...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter 3: Child Nudity

By the time I was fifteen years old, planning what my future was gonna look like was becoming difficult. I had no close friends anymore, no chance for real romance, and my grades weren't the best. Still, I did always stay in shape so I thought I could try being a model. It seemed like an easy enough job. However my mom was too busy to take me to any modeling agency to try out for that line of work. So I took the initiative and tried to put myself out there myself. I took photos of myself in various outfits (by simply setting up the camera on a dresser and putting it on a timer). I tried e-mailing pictures of myself to various modeling agencies but got no response. So I decided to go onto various internet modeling message boards and posted pictures of myself there hoping for a response. And it didn't take too long for me to get a very huge response...

Olive sat in her bedroom wearing just a bath robe as she sat in front of her computer as she said, "Okay. Lets see if anyone has responded to my pictures." Olive then logged into a message board and clicked on the thread she had started with her pictures on it. Then Olive's eyes widened as she saw her pictures had already over a hundred responses. As Olive scrolled down she saw responses that said, "Mose beautiful girl I've seen. You are so freaking hot. Sexiest girl alive! The queen of beauty! Please post more!" A big smile went across Olive's face as she then grabbed her camera.

I had never felt so alive before. The people liked me. They really, really liked me. Finally, I felt like I was good at something. And since the people wanted more, I gave them more. I took more photos of myself in various outfits. Every picture I posted always nabbed me at least a hundred positive comments. Then when summer came, I decided to post pictures of myself wearing some bathing suits I bought. Then suddenly every picture I posted nabbed me over a thousand positive comments. And then things started to get more intense...

Olive sat in front of her computer wearing just her bathing suit as she scrolled through the many positive comments people sent her while smiling. Then Olive suddenly noticed she had recently received several private messages. Olive then accessed one that said, "Girl, you are the most gorgeous human being on the planet. Please do me the honor and let me get a peak of what you look like without a swimsuit on. Just for me, your biggest fan please." Olive then looked at another private message that said, "I have saved every picture you have ever posted. I gaze upon the perfection that is your body every day. It would bring me so much happiness girl if you shared some more revealing pictures of yourself with me. I promise I won't share them." Then Olive saw another private message that said, "You have the sexiest body alive and I pleasure myself to it every day. Could you pretty please show what your body looks like completely nude. Just for me. I won't share with anyone. Please you beautiful girl you." Olive had a look of uncertainty on her face for a moment. But then Olive took a deep breath as she picked up her camera. Then Olive set her camera on her dresser, set the timer, and then walked several feet away from the camera. Then Olive pulled off her swimsuit, turned her back to the camera, turned her head to look back at the camera, put her hands on her butt cheeks, and then smiled as the camera snapped a picture of her.

I don't know what came over me in that moment. Maybe it was the thrill of doing something I knew was naughty, maybe it was me developing a huge ego from all of the attention I was getting, or maybe it was me looking for a way to feel loved again. Regardless, I started taking much more "revealing" pictures of myself from then on, sending them to whoever asked. It felt innocent enough at first. I didn't take pictures that revealed my nipples or vagina. But I definitely wasn't wearing clothes anymore for these "private pictures". I at first would either cover my developing boobs and womanhood with my hands, or keep them off camera. But eventually I became more bold...

Olive sat naked in front of her computer as she was looking through various private messages people were sending her. Then Olive looked at one private message that said, "My beautiful girl, your last picture you sent me was stunning. You are a modern living goddess. But please, I beg of you, send me a picture that doesn't hide any of your beauty. I must see every square inch of the body that is my beautiful girl. If you do, I promise I will love you forever." A small smile went across Olive's face as she finished reading the message. Then Olive got up, set her camera on the dresser so it was pointing at her bed, started the timer, walked over to her bed, laid down on her side, put her hand on her hip, and then smiled as the camera snapped a picture of her.

And thus my full fledged career in nude photography began. I tried various angles and poses to keep my adoring fans happy. I tried laying on my bed on my side, did selfies where I would touch my vagina, did various shots of me in the shower rubbing my nipples, got on all fours like a dog which helped my boobs hang down a bit more (and thus made them look a bit bigger), did nude hand stands, did naked stretches with my legs very much stretched out in order to give people a wide open view of my "goods", did various "baby poses" where I would suck my thumb and hug a stuffed animal while naked, and did lots of shots of me in bed pleasuring my vagina with my fingers. Life was starting to feel amazing. It felt like everything was looking up. That is until everything started going down...

Olive was walking down the hallway through high school one morning, when one girl walked up to Olive and said, "Hey. Is it true you're like a secret nude model?" Olive looking very caught off guard and scared said, "What!?" Then the girl said, "Well my mom caught my older brother jerking off to a bunch of porn on his computer recently, and when I saw her yelling at him, I thought I saw pictures of you naked on his computer." Olive who began to sweat a bit said, "Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. You know not all blondes are the same girl." The girl then said, "Well... okay. Just had to ask." The girl then walked away as Olive suddenly had a look of complete panic on her face.

I began to freak out a ton after that moment happened. If one girl in my school suspected what I had been up to, others that lived in close proximity to me might know too. I decided drastic action had to be taken. I died my hair to a slightly different shade of color (more of a brownish blonde), and began to wear fake glasses. People that know their classic comic books have always said how Superman wearing glasses to become Clark Kent is a pretty weak disguise. But the thing is...

Olive was walking down the school hallway wearing her glasses while carrying her books. Suddenly two teenage boys walked up to Olive as one of them held up his phone and said, "Wait. Are you..." Then the other boy said, "Wait. When you get up close... nah, it can't he her." The two boys then walked away as Olive breathed a sigh of relief, and headed off to her class.

I felt like I had dodged a bullet there. My "disguise" seemed to be working, and to play it safe I decided to end my nude photography gig right there. I didn't feel too unhappy though. I had gained so many friends via private messages. And I was certain they would still support me in life even when the nude photos stopped coming. However I soon received a huge dose of reality...

Olive sat in front of her computer with a full set of clothes on and her glasses off. Olive saw one private message to her that said, "Hey pretty girl. When am I gonna gaze upon your amazing glory again?" Olive then typed back, "Sorry. Gotta lay low. Some of my nudes leaked out and I can't let anyone know about this thing I do. So no more nude pics. But how was your day? Mine was filled with tons of busy classes." Olive then sent her response, and sat still waiting for a response back. However none came.

And that's how it was with every single person I had sent nude photos to. As soon as the pictures of naked me stopped coming in, the seemingly happy friendships I had developed stopped. It was then that I realized, I hadn't been experiencing relationships with anybody online. I had just been used. I let people online use a bunch of pretty kind words to let my guard down and share myself in an intimate way with them... only to receive really nothing in return. Just empty promises of love and friendship, and in exchange I had to live in fear of people learning about what I did. And I knew what I did was wrong. I was freaking fifteen years old, and had essentially created child pornography of myself. Since I was still a minor, I wasn't sure how much trouble I could get in, but I was still pretty freaking terrified now. I maintained my disguise of wearing glasses permanently at this point, realizing I might have to maintain this disguise for the rest of my life. I knew nothing really dies on the internet, so I would now have to worry about someone discovering even when I was thirty or forty that I had done the dirty things that I had done. I had essentially created a ticking time bomb on my life, that I had no idea if or when it would go off; and I did it all for false promises and a hollow feeling of love. My life was now over. It was completely destroyed. All I could do outside of school was lay in my bed and wonder how did this all go wrong. And then... I started to think back on my friendship... with Sydney...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter 4: I Like Girls

Twelve year old Olive Rozalski was swimming in a large outdoor swimming pool wearing a green bikini. As she swam quickly, Olive looked back and called out, "Betcha can't get me Sydney!" Then from nearby Sydney wearing her bright red bikini swam towards Olive as she giggled and said, "You better believe I will." Then Sydney suddenly grabbed Olive's leg slowing her down. Then Sydney quickly moved forward and wrapped her arms around Olive's shoulders and said, "Got ya! Now you have to carry me." Olive with a smile, sighed, and said, "Okay." Olive then slowly moved her body through the water as Sydney nestled head on Olive's shoulder. Olive glanced at Sydney and smiled, as Sydney smiled back. Eventually the two girls got out of the water and got onto two beach chairs next to each other. Olive laid on her side, as Sydney curled up in a ball next to Olive on her chair. Olive then noticed Sydney was grinning. Curious, Olive then said, "What is it?" Sydney then moved her eyes in another direction as she said, "Nothing." A still curious Olive then said, "Are you sure?" Sydney then said, "Well... I'll tell you when we have our sleepover next week." Olive then said, "You can't tell me now or at my birthday tomorrow?" Sydney then said, "No. It can wait." Olive then said, "Okay." Olive then silently looked into Sydney's eyes and smiled, as Sydney silently looked at Olive and smiled back.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that was the last day of my life I was happy. I saw Sydney at my birthday party the next day, but that moment at the pool was the last time it was just me and her alone. It's a moment I've begun to replay over and over in my mind lately. I replay both out of fear of forgetting it, and also from my desire to feel indirectly happy again. However the memory is still bittersweet, because remembering Sydney also makes me remember... the day I lost her...

Olive walked in through the door of her house as she said, "I just got the best deal on jackets ever! Mom, you gotta see these three new ones I got and..." Olive then stepped into the kitchen and saw her mom sitting alone with a look of sadness in her face. Olive looking concerned said, "Mom, what is it?" Olive's mom tried to make a small smile as she said, "Olive sweety, sit down. I... I need to tell you something." Olive looking more concerned now said, "Mom, what's going on?" A few tears went from Olive's mom's face as she said, "Olive, sweety... I just got a call from Judy Reynolds. She said... she said that... Sydney and her father Max were driving on their way to Max's workplace and... there was a terrible accident and... a speeding car ran through a red light and... it killed Sydney and Max." Olive with a look of shock on her face said, "What? No. I mean they got hurt, but they'll be all right, right?" Olive's mom then said, "Olive, they said it was a near instant death for both of them. There were three other vehicles involved in the incident, and... I'm sorry, but this is real." Olive then stood up shaking now as she said, "I... I need to see them. I need to see Syd." Olive's mom then said, "Olive, it was a horrific accident. If you saw them, it would be too much." Then tears appeared in her eyes as Olive yelled, "Well I wanna see Sydney. She's my best friend, we were supposed to have a sleepover tomorrow night and..." Olive then bent down a bit and began to breathe in and out deeply, as Olive's mom moved towards her with her hand out. Then Olive stepped away and said, "Don't touch me. I just... I just need to be in my room." Then Olive ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Then Olive entered her bedroom, shut the door, and then fell to the ground and remained still. Olive then lay motionless for two minutes. However then suddenly in an instant Olive began to curl into a ball and began to sob loudly.

And that was the day everything fell apart. The day my left went downhill. I lost my best friend in the world, the girl who was my lighthouse in the storm. And without her, it felt like nothing could make me happy. So in order to feel some level of happiness, I turned to other avenues to feel some form of "pleasure"...

Thirteen year old Olive sat completely naked in a chair in front of her computer while a video played of an adult man and woman naked in bed together. In the video, candles were lit around the room, as slow jazz music played. The man was kissing the woman's stomach, and then her breasts. Then he kissed her on the lips, as the woman kissed back. The man then lifted his body up a bit, looked down at the woman, and then said, "God, you're beautiful. I love you Stacey." The woman smiled and said, "And I love you Anthony." The the man lowered his body down and pushed his penis into the woman's vagina. The two lovers wrapped their arms around each other as they began to have sex. The man lifted his rough behind up and down as he pushed his penis deeper and deeper into his partner's vagina. The woman began to moan as she said, "Mmm. Yes! Ohhh! Yes! Marry me! Mmmm. Marry me!" The man then said, "Mmm! Yes Stacey. Oh yes. Ohhhh!" Meanwhile as Olive was watching, she began to push two fingers into her own vagina. As Olive began to dig her fingers deeper into her womanhood, she began to smile as she leaned back a bit and said, "Mmm. Ohhh yes!"

And so eventually porn became my new best friend. It made me feel less sad, and at first: I felt like it gave me a blueprint and some idea on how to find some real happiness one day. And so when my gymnastic coach came into the shower to make love to me, just like in one the scenarios I saw in my favorite porn movie, I thought I had found true love. However... I only found true disappointment. My gymnastics coach broke my heart and screwed up my life. And even when I eliminated the actual in person interaction, and just gave people virtual pleasure through taking nude photos of myself, I still got heart-broken and screwed up. My life had completely fallen apart. I had lost my chance at feeling loved. The only lover I would ever know now would be my hands. And as pathetic as it sounds... I made love to my hands every night from then on...

Fifteen year old Olive sat totally nude in front of her computer, sticking two fingers from her left hand into her vagina, while using her right hand to navigate the internet with her computer's mouse. Olive was looking at various pictures of naked men and woman having sex, but was starting to look uninterested. However then Olive saw a link to a video of two women having lesbian sex. Interested, Olive clicked on the video. The video instantly began with two women already naked rubbing each other's vagina. Olive instantly began to rub her own vagina very quickly, as her face suddenly looked much more excited. Then Olive suddenly orgasmed as she said, "Ohh! OOOOOOHHHHH!" Then Olive released her womanly fluids onto her hand. As soon as she calmed down, Olive then suddenly used her right hand to close the video she was looking at, and with a surprised face she said, "What just happened?"

You see I had used my porn to help pleasure myself for some time now. But videos of men and women pleasuring each other and having sex was starting to just not excite me or turn me on anymore. But as soon as I started looking at videos of women making love, along with pictures of nude female models, I felt a rush, a fire, an excitement, and a special energy from looking at them. But then one day, a realization hit me...

Olive sat naked in front of her computer while looking at a video of a nudist pageant as she began to look more closely at the video. As Olive began to look very closely she said, "Oh God, these young nudist beauty pageants are amazing." Olive then began to scroll though many pictures of nude ladies standing with nothing on their bodies except for a card with a number on it. Olive began to zoom in and check out the ladies smooth round butts, their clean shaven vaginas, their beautiful breasts, and every inch of their bare legs, arms, and stomachs. With her left hand, Olive began to pleasure her vagina. As Olive pushed her fingers back and forth against the walls of her womanhood, she began to moan as she said, "Oh yes. Ohhh! Mmmm! Ohhh! I love you! I love all you beautiful..." And then suddenly Olive felt herself orgasm, but mid-way through her orgasm: a look of shock went across her face. And then once her orgasm was over, Olive with a look of terror said, "I like girls. Oh God. I am sexually attracted to girls."

The realization hit me hard. Like a train hitting my head. I mean I didn't hate men altogether but... oh God, how could I be attracted to women? How did this start? How could it be? This couldn't have come from nowhere. How did this happen? But then a few weeks later... I got my answer...

Olive was walking through the park, when she saw Judy Reynolds sitting on a bench. A surprised looking Olive then said, "Grandma J?" A surprised looking Judy looked at Olive and said, "Olive? Oh my goodness, I didn't recognize you at first." Judy then got up and immediately hugged Olive. Soon, the two sat down as Judy said, "Wow, it's been so long. You've gotten so tall." Olive then said, "Thanks. I... I'm sorry I haven't been by much but..." Judy then said, "Oh, it's okay. I'm a boring old woman. You should be hanging with friends your age. So how have you been?" Olive then said, "Well... not too good. I mean I'm healthy and my grades in school are fine but..." Judy then said, "Hey. Olive, it's okay. If something is troubling you, you can still talk to me about whatever you want." Olive then took a deep breath and said, "Well... oh this is gonna be hard. I um... I've been having these really confusing feelings about what I want in life and I think..." Then Judy immediately cut Olive off and said, "You're gay, aren't you?" Suddenly Olive looked completely caught off guard and said, "What? When... how..." Then Judy said, "Olive, I've known since you were seven." Olive looking very confused then said, "Huh? What? I mean... how did you know back then?" Then Judy with a warm smile said, "Because ever since you started hanging out with Sydney, I saw how you always looked at her when you thought nobody was watching. Plus, a month before she died, Sydney told me she had a huge crush on you, and I assumed you felt the same." Then Olive suddenly had a look of surprise on her face.

And that was the moment where my mind was so blown. It was like one of those rare moments in life when your brain is thinking a thousand things all at once. But as my brain was thinking at lightning speed, the first thought I had was: Oh my God, Sydney had a crush on me!? Oh my God, thing she was gonna tell me right before she died... oh my God. She was in love with me. And suddenly so many things made sense now. The fact that when I was in 4th and 5th grade, I did a couple school plays, and Sydney would always come with me to practice just to watch. She never acted in the plays. She literally came to events she didn't want to participate in, just so she could be with me. Oh my God, if that's not loving someone, then I don't know what it is. But then my mind went back to other things I did in elementary school. And when I was a kid, my bedroom was always decorated with nothing but pictures Sydney drew for me in art class, and photographs of the two of us together, and... that's when it hit me. Oh my God. I was freaking in love with Sydney Reynolds. How did that realization never hit me? I mean, I'm not mad at myself for not realizing it. I was a freaking kid. Kids don't analyze and discuss their emotions. But oh God, I DID like girls at a young age. I mean just one girl, but still...

Olive looked at Judy as she said, "Grandma Judy... I loved Sydney too. I... I just wish I fully understood my feelings sooner so I could've..." Suddenly Olive began to cry as Judy held Olive near her and said, "It's okay Olive. It's okay to miss her. Sometimes I'll go a whole month without crying over losing Sydney and Max, but then suddenly one morning it hurts like the day it happened all over again." Olive then looked into Judy's eyes and said, "I... I'm sorry I haven't come over in so long. I promise I will sometime soon. But first... I need to keep sorting through some thoughts. But... thank you Grandma J... for everything." Olive then hugged Judy, as a happy looking Judy said, "Anytime sweety."

Everything felt strange still, but it was like I was reborn. These feelings of liking girls still felt confusing, but at least I knew why I was having these feelings now. These feelings I was having weren't new. They had been there since I was super young, and maybe I've been so screwed up for so long now because I was just repressing these emotions and feelings my whole life. But unlike some people who try to repress a traumatic memory, for me: I was actually repressing a happy memory, a happy memory that I've now released. I really was in love with my best friend growing up, and that's a very happy memory to now have and understand. All this time I had been looking for love in the wrong places, but now I knew the kind of love I wanted. I still didn't know what this all meant for my future though. I was breaking or was about to break so many rules of what I thought was right and wrong. I needed to figure out how this is all was gonna work out. I still felt so confused. And it got even more confusing... when I realized who my first "girl crush" as an adult was...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter 5: Falling in Love

Eighteen year old Olive Rozalski sat in the waiting room of a hospital looking sick and out of sorts. Olive was slowly beginning to close her eyes when she heard a female voice say, "Olive?" Olive then opened her eyes, looked up, and saw standing before her was her childhood friend Emmy all grown up. A surprised looking Olive then said, "Emmy? Is that you?" Emmy made a warm smile as she said, "Yeah. I got an internship helping around here at the hospital. What are you doing here, though? You sick?" Olive nodded and said, "Yeah. I've been having some chest pains recently, and came in to get some x-rays done. It's been taking awhile for anyone to see me though?" Then Emmy gently put a hand on Olive's arm and said, "Well sit tight, and I'll see if I can hurry you along in the process." Emmy made a little wink, and then walked away, while Olive suddenly started to blush.

The question of: when do you know you're in love with somebody, is a strange one nobody seems to ever have a straight answer for. Some people seem to say it's when you feel a spark between you and the other person, others say it comes from witnessing a series of kind actions performed by the other, while others say it's when you feel an attraction to their body. However it may be wrong to say this, but when I saw Emmy for the first time in years in that hospital waiting room, I felt all those things. Her body had developed very nicely, the fact that she went out of her way to help me felt heart-warming, and when she touched my arm... well... I felt something in that moment I never felt. Still, my emotions had betrayed me before, and I wanted to remain very careful.

Emmy and Olive were sitting together at a cafe as Emmy said, "That is so cool that you got a full scholarship to college. I only got a partial one, but hopefully my internship leads to some really good jobs. The doctors at the hospital do seem to really like me." Olive then said, "Well I'm glad to hear you're doing well Emmy. I... I'm sorry we never talked much after Sydney died." Emmy then said, "Well Sydney was kind of the glue that kept the four amigas together. But I should've tried harder to reach out to you too, which I'm sorry for. It's just life got so busy and..." Then Olive said, "Yeah, I get it. But anyway, this was nice. Wanna do this again next Friday?" Then Emmy said, "Ooo. Sorry, can't. Starting a part time job next week. Paying for my stupid expensive apartment costs a lot." Then Olive said, "Yeah. The place I moved into is expensive too." Then Emmy's eyes widened for a moment and then she said, "Wait. I just had a great idea. Olive, my apartment has two bedrooms. I was using one as an exercise room, but you move in with me, we could split the cost and then neither of us will have to have as big a financial burden. Wadya say?" A little smile went across Olive's face as she said, "Um... let me think about it a bit but... yeah, that actually sounds pretty awesome."

So soon after that, I moved in with Emmy. It was pretty easy for me considering I didn't have many worldly possessions. Emmy was the immediate ideal room-mate. Now we did have different schedules often, meaning I would leave in the morning before she'd get up, and I would fall asleep in the evening before she even got home. But when we had the weekend to ourselves, she would often cook for me, and tell me fun stories that made me laugh and sometimes smile. The more time I spent with Emmy, the more I began to wonder... was I starting to really fall in love with her? But one day, the answer finally was cemented in my brain...

Olive and Emmy were having breakfast together on Saturday morning at the kitchen table as Emmy said, "It's still so shocking though that my cousin Sabrina got pregnant at age 14. I mean I've known since she was a little girl, and I really thought she knew better." Olive then started to look a little nervous as she said, "Well... maybe your cousin just made one mistake, but is doing everything she can to learn from it now. I mean at least she's keeping her baby and is working harder to be a better person." Then Emmy said, "Well she made a choice she knew from the beginning was wrong. I mean that baby's father, anybody could tell from one glance was bad news." Then Olive looked down as she said, "Well... maybe it's harder to resist temptations when your family is broken and you have no friends and it feels like nothing else in the world matters." Then a few tears appeared in Olive's eyes as she began to choke up and then said, "Emmy... a short time after Sydney died and my parents split up, I felt like I had no future and I... I had sex with my gymnastics coach." Emmy turned to look right at Olive as she said, "What?"

Then with more tears in her eyes Olive said, "I instantly regretted it, and it has torn me up inside since, and I'm sorry this makes me look like slut that you'd never wanna look at again or..." Then suddenly Olive was interrupted when Emmy reached forward and hugged Olive with her two arms. A surprised Olive then began to cry as she hugged Emmy back. Then Emmy said, "It's gonna be okay. And I know because... I lost my virginity to some terrible guy I shouldn't have at age 14 too." Olive then moved her body away from Emmy and with a surprised face she said, "You did? But I always thought of you as the purest good girl I ever knew." Emmy in a surprised tone then said, "Seriously? I always thought of you as the purest good girl I ever knew. I only said that condescending stuff about my cousin because I thought you wouldn't like me if I didn't." Olive breathed a sigh of relief and then said, "Emmy, how about from now on: no more lying about our past, okay?" Emmy made a smile as she said, "Okay."

And that is where me and Emmy's "real" friendship began. Once we finally realized we could be open with each other, Emmy eventually told me every detail about a guy two years older than her whom she believed to be "the one" that broke her heart after he took her virginity. I told her about my experience with my gymnastics coach, and I even eventually told her about when I sent nudes of myself across the internet. Emmy showed so much understanding and compassion though. However there was one important detail from myself I was still keeping from Emmy. Okay, actually two important details about myself. The fact that I liked girls... and the fact that I liked Emmy. However the day eventually came... when Emmy learned the truth...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter 6: Best Frieds Turned Lesbians to the Max

Eighteen year old Olive Rozalski had just come home from college looking exhausted. It was the end of final exams week, and thus Olive had been staying up very late for the last two weeks getting final projects, papers, and studying done. As Olive put her stuff away, she looked around the apartment and said, "Emmy, you here?" Olive realized her room-mate Emmy Mendoza wasn't home. Looking around Olive said, "Hmm. I guess her school work is keeping her out late too. Well... I need to relax." Olive then grabbed a towel and headed downstairs to the sauna. Despite the apartment building Olive lived in not being the best building in the world, Olive was incredibly glad a gym with a sauna existed on the first floor of the building (and was free to use by apartment tenants. Olive always knew the best hour to use the sauna where she could be by herself. But that evening, as Olive (wearing just a towel tied around her) opened the door to the women's sauna, she immediately realized that she would definitely not be alone. Because, as Olive opened the door to the sauna, she saw in the sauna was her room-mate Emmy laying on the bench completely naked.

Olive's eyes widened as she saw Emmy laying on the bench, with her knees bent and lifted up, but her legs were crossed, and her body was already leaning a little bit away from the door (meaning Emmy's vagina could not be seen from where Olive was standing). Meanwhile Emmy had her arms crossed over her chest (meaning Olive also couldn't see much of Emmy's breasts), while Emmy laid with her eyes closed looking completely content, despite the sweat that was beginning to cover her body. Suddenly Emmy's eyes opened as she noticed Olive was stepping in. Emmy then quickly sat up and covered herself with a towel as she said, "Oh, hey Olive. Didn't know you'd be here. I just wanted to relax here right after a busy day at my internship." Olive then sat near Emmy as she said, "Oh, it's okay. I had a busy day too. So... you like to lay down often in the sauna alone?" Emmy then said, "Yeah. In fact, try it. It's relaxing."

Then Olive while keeping her towel on, lay on her back on the bench in the sauna. Emmy then laid next to Olive, keeping her head close to Olive's face. Olive smiled as she said, "Mmm. Yeah, this is relaxing." Emmy grinned as she said, "Just like I said. But you know... I just realized... it's more relaxing when you're doing it with your other half." A surprised looking Olive then said, "Your other half?" Then Emmy turned her head so she was looking into Olive's eyes and said, "I'm talking about you girl. It's great just doing anything with you. I mean... Olive, you're more than a room-mate to me. You're my best friend. I mean... you're the first person I think about every morning." Olive blushed as she said, "Emmy... you're my best friend in the world. You've done so much for me. I mean, to me... friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things. And there a million little things I could say about you Emmy."

Emmy then blushed as she said, "Olive, you are kind, loving and have the biggest most forgiving heart. You love me through my faults, you see the best in me and you make me want to be a better person. I'm so thankful that God answered my prayers and gave me the most amazing friend. You fill the world with beauty, joy and grace. Having you by my side is such a blessing. I love you more than you'll ever know." A surprised and nervous looking Olive then said, "Wait. When you said you loved me, did you mean like..." Then Emmy moved her face forward and said, "I mean like this..." Then Emmy kissed Olive on the lips. A moment passed, and then Emmy moved her lips away. A surprised looking Olive then said, "Whoa. Emmy, I... I was trying to find some way to tell you the same thing but... I guess it shouldn't have waited so long to speak my mind to the girl that already owns my heart." Emmy then had one of her hands touch Olive's hands and said, "Well... shall we head to bed together then?"

Emmy laid on her bed in a black thong and lacy bra, while she put on some lipstick. Candles were set around the perimeter of the room, as Emmy smiled with excitement, knowing what was to soon happen. Then Emmy heard a knock on the door, stood up, and said, "Come in my love." Then Olive opened the door and walked in wearing panties and a bra that had pictures of Minnie Mouse on them. Then seeing how Emmy was wearing more adult underwear and had makeup on, Olive looked a bit humiliated as she said, "Oh God, I totally did not pick the best outfit." Emmy grinned as she said, "It's okay. The outfit you picked is you. Besides..." Then Emmy suddenly grabbed from her night-stand some Minnie Mouse ears and put them on Olive's head as she said, "...I think you look sexier this way." Olive smiled as she took Emmy's hand, and the two got into the bed together.

As the two teenage girls got comfortable, Emmy said, "So, you ready for this? Any expectations on what you want this to feel like?" Olive then said, "Not really. I just know that over the years as I've touched myself and self-pleasured, I have discovered new ways to get myself turned on, so I definitely hope to discover much more amazing ways to get turned on with you." Emmy smiled as she said, "Yeah. I mean for me, I just want to feel a closeness with someone. I mean I would be content with just a long hug with someone I loved. So the fact that we're gonna do more than just hugging, excites me so much." Then Olive put her hands behind her back as she said, "So... you ready?" Emmy put her hands behind her own back as she said, "Yes." Then Olive and Emmy at the same moment pulled their respective bras off. The two young women then starred at each other's breasts as Olive said, "Wow... they're so beautiful Emmy." Emmy then said, "Well they're not as big as yours. Yours just look so round and delicious." Olive then laid back as she said, "Well, would you like to taste?"

Emmy then brought her head over to Olive's breasts and then put her mouth on Olive's left nipple. Emmy then began to suck on Olive's left breast. Olive smiled at the lovely feeling this gave her at first. However as an entire minute went by, Olive began to wonder why Emmy was not stopping at sucking her left breast. But then as Emmy began to suck Olive's right breast for another minute, Olive suddenly went from looking puzzled to looking very pleased, as she realized this must've been the part of sexual fore-play that Emmy had been really, really looking forward to. So Olive simply relaxed, as she let Emmy just live out her dream come true of sucking on her breasts for the next fifteen minutes; a delightful quarter of an hour that was filled with nothing by the happy sounds of Emmy's lips sucking on Olive's young breasts.

Eventually Emmy raised her head up, and then began to pull down her thong. Olive then sat up and took off her panties. Soon Emmy was completely naked, and Olive was now wearing nothing by her Minnie Mouse ears. As Emmy looked down at Olive's vagina she said, "Wow Olive, you... you really are beautiful everywhere." Then a smiling Olive starred at Emmy's vagina as she said, "And your womanhood is more beautiful than I could imagine. It's so perfectly clean shaven and inviting and... Can I..." Emmy then laid back on the bed as she said, "Please." Then Olive brought her face to Emmy's vagina, and then slowly stuck her tongue inside. Emmy moaned a bit with a smile, as Olive began to push her tongue in deeper. Then Olive surrounded Emmy's entire womanhood with her mouth and began to make sucking sounds on it. Emmy meanwhile began to moan louder as she felt Olive's tongue move rigorously back and forth against her vaginal walls. Emmy began to pinch her own nipples as she said, "Mmm. Ohhh! Errr. Yes! YES! OOOHHHH! OH OLIVE! OOOOHHHHHHHH!" Then Emmy felt herself get very wet, as Olive began to make slurping noises, which only made Emmy get even wetter. Emmy could tell this was a fantasy turned reality Olive had been wanting to act out for a very long time, and so was very content with entertaining Olive's long period of sucking on her vagina.

Then Olive eventually moved her head up, took off her Minnie Mouse ears, and then kissed Emmy on the lips. The two wrapped their arms around each other's backs, and just hugged each other very tightly. For an entire ten minutes, two girls remained completely still, with only their faces moving as their kiss just kept getting more intense and passionate. Then once their kiss on the lips ended, the two girls moved their heads and began to kiss each other on the neck and shoulder. Then Olive gently grabbed Emmy's fingers, and began to suck them one at a time. Emmy giggled a bit at first, but then began to feel more turned on, the more Olive began to suck harder on her fingers, while making slurping noises on them. Then a turned on Emmy put one arm around Olive's back and began to kiss Olive on the lips again.

As they did this though, the two girls each brought a finger down, and began to finger the others' vagina. The two wasted no time at moving their fingers incredibly fast and hard. The two then broke their kiss as Olive said, "Mmm. Oh yeah. Harder Emmy! HARDER! OOOHHHHH!" Then Olive used her free hand to squeeze Emmy's butt very hard, causing Emmy to moan even harder. Emmy moaned, as she closed her eyes and said, "Mmmm. Ohhhh. Eres mi todo. Eres el amor de mi vida!" Olive grinned as she grabbed Emmy's butt harder and dug her finger into Emmy's vagina deeper. Emmy in turn began to finger Olive even harder, while using her free hand to squeeze Olive's butt. Olive made a purring sound and then said, "Oh yes Emmy! Oh, this has been what I've wanted so long. I wanna do this with you EVERY DAY for the rest of my life!" Emmy meanwhile began to look like she was under a magic love spell now as she began to shake her body while saying, "Tu amor vale mas que millones de estrellas!"

Olive and Emmy then began to finger each other harder than ever, as Olive said, "Mmmm! Keep going Emmy Faster! OOOHHHH! I WANT YOU DO THIS TO ME FOREVER. MARRY ME EMMY, SO WE CAN DO THIS FOREVER!" Then Emmy yelled, "Si! Soy feliz de compartir cada instante de mi vida a tu lado! Tu amor me inspira, tu ternura me conmueve y tus besos me enloquecen!" Then Olive yelled, "Mmm! Emmy, I love you so much! Keep going. I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU FOREVER!" Then as Emmy felt her climax approaching she yelled, "Te quiero con todo mi alma! Ohhh! OOOOHHHHHHH!" Then Olive yelled, "OOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Then Olive and Emmy both orgasmed as the same moment together as they released all their womanly fluids on each other and the bed. Olive and Emmy then collapsed in each other's arms and held each other close. The two both smiled as Olive said, "Wow... that was... the most amazing experience of my life." Emmy who was sweating said, "I know. I never realized sex could feel that amazing. That brought out a whole different side of me." Olive grinned as she said, "It sure did. What was with all that Spanish you said?" Emmy giggled and said, "I can't help but speak in only Spanish when I'm excited." Then Olive nestled her head near Emmy's as she said, "Emmy... I never thought I would ever be this happy. It's been such a long road for me to get here but... I'm glad I finally made it here... with you." Emmy then looked into Olive's eyes and said, "Olive, you have the biggest heart. I love you more than words. I'm so grateful to have found someone who gets me and who loves me just for being me. You make me laugh, and I love being silly with you. Your friendship is a blessing, and I'm so excited to see what the future holds." Olive smiled and then she cuddled with Emmy as the two lovers fell asleep together in perfect peace.

THE END

*Author's Note - This story came to me in a fever dream while taking an afternoon nap (take that as you will). However some of the dialogue came from actual comments actresses Ava Kolker (Olive) and Julia Garcia (Emmy) have said to each other on social media (also take that as you will). Anyway, thank you for reading this passion project of mine. ;)