Harry's first mission tagging along with IMP goes horribly wrong...
It was take your kid to work day at Harry's school. Meaning he got to be in his imp form at the office for the first time in a long time. He liked going to work with his Dad. It didn't happen oftenanymore. Considering he was going to Hogwarts next semester it wouldn't happen any time in the near future either.
"Hankering for some semen when I caught your stare!" Harry was singing along with his dad while Moxie held his hands over his ears as the loud music blared.
"I think I just went through puberty early." Harry said gasping as the song ended and Blitzo held up a fist and Harry bumped it with his before a pink Cadillac pimped out screeched into the parking space.
"Oh you suck for life do ya?" Blitzo said angrily. He brought out a megaphone he kept in the van for megaphone required emergencies.
"Listen here you unoriginal pink cum dump!" Blitzo shouted. "You have 3 goddamned seconds to vacate our par-ohshit...Verosika?"
Harry leaned out his window and gasped. It was the pop star Verosika Mayday. Via had her posters in her room. Much to Blitzos annoyance.
"Her? Oh yeah we dated."
"She could've been my mom?" Harry asked with disgust.
"Kiddo I would have never settled for that bag of holes. I much preferred fucking Your papa."
"Sir please." Moxie held his hands over Harry's ears. "There's a child present."
"You dated a pop star?" Millie asked.
"Okay you all are making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be I don't Pry into your stupid personal lives.
The three adults protested that statement.
"What was sex with her like?" Millie asked.
"Millie!" Moxie said covering Harry's wars again.
"What? It's a pop star. You'd want to know what sex with Michael Crawford was like." Millie pointed out.
"Touché." Moxie agreed.
Batting the overly protective imps hands away Harry saw a humongous Hellhound with one eye and a blank eye with a scar through it.
"Hi." Harry said to the older male.
"Sup kid you work for this guy or something?"
"He's my dad." Harry said as Blitzo responded to the pink sluts news with "Oh no you are NOT parking here for a fucking week."
"Oh so your dads my boss's freaky ex." The Hellhound said as he watched them argue.
"Never heard they dated actually." Harry said.
"I'll see ya round kid. Gotta go handle your dad. Names Vortex." The Hellhound offered his paw and Harry shook it.
"Harry." Harry responded with his first name.
"See ya 'round." Vortex said walking intimidatingly toward the arguing pair.
"Cool guy." Harry said while he looked to his right to see his older sister wagging her tail looking after Vortex.
"Loona...LOONA." Harry snapped his fingers in her face.
"Huh what?" The Hellhound woman asked in confusion.
"We gotta go inside." Harry pointed.
"Uncle Moxie are you alright?" Harry asked the bewildered imp covered in lipstick kisses.
"I...I gotta go lie down...now."
Harry glared at the laughing succubi And incubi And burst through the doors.
"Oh look whose come to visit." Verosika "You want an autograph sweetie? A kiss perhaps?"
"Lady, your a gross whore." Harry said to Verosika in disgust. "Why did you do that to Uncle Moxie?"
"Aw how sweet. Your mad about our little message to Blitzy. So what is Blitzo to you? Abducter? Molestor? Did he kill your parents or something?"
"First of all Fuck you bitch." Harry flipped her off. "Second he's my dad and third. He quickly fires his Flintlock at Verosikas knee.
"Sonofbitch!" Verosika fell over. Grabbing her knee as it bled. "Goddammit! TEX!"
"Sorry little man. I think you oughta go." The older Hellhound suggested. Quietly thinking the pink whore got what she had coming.
"Good idea." Harry said before Blitzo burst into the room.
"Hah! Got your kneecap did he? That's my boy!" Blitzo clapped Harry on the shoulder. "Look slut if your gonna be shitty to my employees then I challenge you to a demon duel."
What's a demon duel? Harry wondered.
Immidiate fire burning subsiding, but still tender, Verosika was lifted by a male incubus who glared at Harry before Harry flicked up the release trigger in a threatening manner.
"Alright Blitzo. What do you propose?" Verosika sika stood on her own again despite the rocksalt in her knee.
"You succubitches go up on earth duri spread spreading your STDs and half demon babies when Spring break is prime for crime of all kinds. So I bet. That you whores can't cum as many human sluts as we can off," he motioned shooting someone in the head, "by the end of the day."
"Alright here's what we should do. With a presentation drawn by my lovely little assistant." Blitzo waved an arm toward Harry who made an "oh stop" gesture with his hands and face.
First, we find a fuck ton of clients. We portal up. We have our fun murder time as per usual. We find a big fucking canoe put all the corpses in said canoe light it on fire to attract sharks the scavengers and maybe a goose too, Fuck it! We win the bet and rub it in that whores bitch ass face."
Harry did his best to make a few short storyboard sketches of his Dads plan.
"Why was that nonsense?" Moxie asked.
"That wasn't a question." Blitz glared at Moxie.
"That wasn't a plan."
"Excuse me Moxie but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do to win this bet.
"Hey is there an way I can come with you guys this time?" Loona asked.
"Nope Sorry Loonie I forbid it. Harry's not going either. Sorry sweetie but Speing Break is no place for Vulnerable Goth Girls. You know the kind of FREAKS who would drool all over you."
Everyone turns to face the audience.
"Well I can blend in with humans easy enough."
"Say that again." Blitzo demanded.
"I can blend in." Loona repeated.
"Do you have a human disguise?" Millie asked.
"Yeah don't you?"
"And I'm literally a human child." Harry reminded them.
"You mean to tell me youn3 have been screwing around on Earth all this time WITHOUT HUMAN DISGUISES?!"
"Alright new idea. Loona and Harry can lure targets to a safer place to off them."
"I can pretend to be a lost kid." Harry said eagerly.
"And how are we going to accomplish this goal? We aren't just going up to Massacre?" Moxie reminded Blitzo.
Blitzo scribbled a hastily drawn and poor grammar flyer saying "Spring Break 50% off!"
--
Fortunately Harry wouldn't feel too guilty about the hits his Dad and IMP would end up offing as most where serial cheaters, paper stealers, exam cheaters or rapist frat bros. one even publicly humiliated some poor guy after finding out he was gay at a so called Christian college. Only to come here and do drugs, drink and fuck his way into oblivion.
Harry jumped with Millie on a bag of corpses. Harry wondered which part of Pride they'd end up in.
"That's twelve kills in the bag. I'd like to see that bitch mass orgasm that many-"
Suddenly they heard a shouting crowd and all looked toward a huge stage.
"Is that her?" Harry asked.
"Oh shit!" Blitzo said clasping his head realizing what was about to happen.
"This is your final boarding call...all aboard." Verosika began.
Being a user of magic Harry was sensitive to magic around his person and his magic senses where blaring with this music. She must be using succubus magic with her song! Harry realized as he watched drunken college students start kissing and fondling each other. Some even outright performing oral sex.
"Sweet Lucifer." Harry said as he watched the orgy unfold.
"WHERES MY BABY?!" Blitzo shouted in panic.
Harry looked over to see Loona walking over to Vortex in human form.
After a while of luring humans to Moxie and Millie the two imps went off on their own killing spree and Harry heard shouting.
"BECAUSE I ADOPTED YOU!" Blitzo shouted. "And That should mean something!"
"Well it shouldn't! I didn't need you then ASSHOLE! I don't now."
"Damn girl that was harsh." Vortex said noticing the imps downtrodden demeanor.
"Uh...Blitz i-"
"Enjoy your break Loonie. I'm gonna go kill something."
Glaring, Harry marched up to the disguised Hellhound.
"Alright Loonie I'll bite, what the hell is your issue with calling Blitzo Dad?" Harry demanded.
"I was almost 18 when he adopted me." Loona said. I was about to be booted on the streets and this random imp comes along and just signs the papers then tells me he's gonna be my Dad."
"Bitch it's been almost 10 years. Your almost Thirty!" Harry said. "Blitzo, out of the kindness of his heart, Something rarely seen in Hell, decided to take in a random Hellhound girl and take care of her like she was his own daughter? When you where probably about to get addicted to several substances, abused then thrown away in a gutter by some disgusting pimp like Overlord Valentino?
Or is it you consider Blitzo a ball and chain keeping you away from your personal freedom? Well he tried that before Princess and from what I'm told of what you used to be like, your slowly improving."
Harry had reminded her of the time she mistreated him when he was a baby. Loona visibly cringed.
"Apologize to Dad Loonie. Or choke on a sandpaper cock." Harry flopped her off and left to go after Blitzo.
"Damn that was savage." Tex said. "And he's kinda right. That guy has taken care of you even though he didn't have to for the past 10 years along with a baby and a 6 year old princess. I wish I'd had that kinda person lookin out for me when I was that age. It didn't hit till I was 35 when I met my girlfriend. She cleaned me up, got me workin out and got me my gig as a bodyguard. Count your blessings girl. There's few to count on in Hell."
--
"Dad are you all right?" Harry asked the imp after he smashed his axe into a humans skull. Harry remembered this guy from the interviews. He was one of those frat bro no means yes, yes means anal guys. He'd shed no tears.
"I'll be fine after a dozen or so more kills to let this aggression out." The imp said as he slammed the axe into the guys head again.
Always double tap. That was one of the rules he taught Harry growing up when dealing with a target.
Suddenly a kaiju movie sized fish monster rose out of the ocean.
"The Beelzejuice." Harry said to his dad. Seeing Verosikas flask float up in the waves and grabbing it.
"Oh that stupid fucking bitch." Blitzo said in a hiss. "Where are Mox and Mills?"
Harry saw Moxie get swallowed up by the fish. He started looking for Loona. They'd have to escape ASAP if things went further south.
Millie three a makeshift Molotov at the fish after it swallowed Moxie. It was startled and fell over hard. She quickly swam out to it and knifed it to hold onto it as it rose. Using the knife she climbed up the monster and forced its jaws apart.
Thankfully the drunken Moxie was clinging to the fishes uvula. The tongue trying to toss him into its throat.
After high giving her while she reached for his hand hopelessly she grabbed his arm and yeeted him to shore where Blitzo caught him. Cutting off the beasts tongue in the process.
"I love that woman." Moxie said in drunken admiration.
"Ugh she totally pegs you doesn't she?" Blitz asked. Harry was watching with Loona and Tex.
"Who the fuck is that imp chick?" Tex asked Harry.
"That's my aunt Millie." Harry said proudly as she sliced open the monsters throat from inside it and swam to shore as it died.
"Is Mox okay?" She asked gasping for breath.
"He's fine." Blitz said dumping Moxie in the sand.
"This is funny...I'm sooooo stinky." Moxie said drunkenly to Millie's amusement."
"Blitzo."
"Oh perfect. That must be the whores." Blitzo said as Verosika and her crew came up to the IMP crew.
"That was handed rather...obviously, don't you think?"
"And how the fuck do you handle a kaiju sized mutant demon fish in the human world you stupid cunt?" Harry demanded. The pink succubus growled. She was liking this brat less and less. "By the way here's your whore flask." Harry tossed the flask toward them and the short woman with thick thighs caught it.
"Well all of you will be into shit for not being disguised."
"Uh, human here." Harry said, raising a hand. Old Lucy knows who I am."
"A human called me a possum." Moxie drunkenly said from Millie's shoulder. "IM NOT A POSSUM.
"You know, I in my generosity as Prince Consort night just be able to sweep this B movie seen under the rug if you let us have our Parking Space?" Blitzo threw his official title in their faces making Verosika growl in fury. "Fine."
"We FUCKING WON!" Blitzo pumped his arms in celebration.
"FUCK YES!" Millie shouted hoisting Moxie under her arms as Blitzo opened a portal back to Hell.
"Well, guess it's time to bounce. If your ever up for a party I'll give you a call."
"Sure. Can't wait for my first one." Loona said disheartenedly.
"Come on kids lets go for our fat fucking car in our far fucking space!" Blitzo said excitedly before jumping in the portal.
"Let's get you some friends girl." Tex laughed as he shook hands with Harry again. "And I'll see you next week at the gym?" He asked Harry. He was going to be his personal trainer.
"Right. Just gotta square everything off with my Dads." Harry said. "See ya." He ran after his group as Loona fell backwards through the portal and canon balls forward.
"Hi Loonie." Harry laughs as she catches him now in her normal hound form.
Loona unceremoniously dumps him to the floor.
Standing up Harry watched their Dad go back to his office. He looked over to Loona and gestured with his arms. "Well?" He asks.
Sighing, Loona went to the office door, knocked and went inside.
Please Leave A Review!
So no Harry won't be with Vortex he's a lot older than Harry. Plus I've already sorta established Strings as the future boyfriend.
I don't like how the Blitzo Loona tension never got resolved really it's like it took a back burner after the monster fish rose.