Chapter 26: CHERUB
"At Whacky Wally Wackfords Whacky Idea Factory. Where you make the things and I make the money. Please. I'm VERY desperate." Wackford said as he shoved his face in front of the camera.
"He must be desperate to put out an advertisement like that." Hermione said to Millie. "People won't fall for that right?"
"Hard to say. Not all citizens of Pride are smart but most are cunning enough to realize a scam when they see one."
A new ad came on. With fluffy looking clouds and golden gates.
"Oh my sweet Jesus." Hermione said. "Is that?"
"Howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven!" A winged baby looking creature introduced himself. "You musta done something good to get here! And good people deserve to give loved ones Special Blessings!"
"Of bloody course Heaven is real." Harry said. "I already told you about the yearly Purge right?"
"No you told Slytherin House that story and three 6th years now need therapy." Draco said.
"Does it make you want to cry?"
"When your loved one has to die?"
"Does it hurt you through and through?"
"When their face is turning blue?"
"Well luckily for you." A female sheep cherub sang.
"There's something we can do." A male sheep sang.
"We can help keep them alive." Cletus dang. "So you can watch them thrive!" They sang together."
"No." Blitzo said. Realizing what was happening before it started.
A catchy jingle played about the cherubs people protection business. CHERUB.
"So sit right back and watch us bless a soul for you! Oh we! Are the CHERUB!"
BANG! Hermione yelped at he loud noise. It was louder and more harsh than Harry's rocksalt Flintlock. The tv was destroyed.
"Dad please try remember Draco and Hermione aren't used to live ammo fire." Harry reminded the imp.
"They'll get used to it eventually." Blitzo waved off Harry's concerns.
BOOM!!!
Hermione and Draco hid behind Loona who went into attack mode as the wall was destroyed and a bendy motherfucker came through saying "Be not afraid."
"Who are you and what do you want?" Millie demanded with an axe in her hand. Harry had his hex aura around his hands.
"Uncle Moxie!" Harry ran towards where the imp was being crushed by the broken wall.
"Everything is going dark!" Harry and Draco where desperately trying to lift the wall off his SatanFather temporarily forgetting about magic in panic.
"Wingardium Leviosa." Hermione said waving her wand and levitating the wall back in place. "Reparo."
There was a pause as everyone watched the wall pieces fly back into the wall resealing themselves.
"Nice! Saves us a bit of change in repair costs." Blitzo said. Bumping Hermione on the shoulder. "Hello there I'm Blitz the O is silent."
"What O?" The man asked in confusion.
"Aw thank you. So who are you and who do you want us to off?" Then he sniffed. "Ugh this guy reeks of the Living World did you just die?"
"Yes! Moments ago in fact! This is the man I'm going to need you to kill!" He held up a photo of a decrepit old man.
"Not even a shits length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that kind of ambition." Harry said with Moxie being held up by him and Draco.
Draco thought that over and shrugged his other shoulder saying "I agree."
"So whose the soon to be stiff?" Blitzo asked.
"He's...My Business partner!" The man started bawling. "I was not always an old man. I am Loopty Goopty-"
"Of LyleLoopty Robotics?! Bull fucking shit?!" Hermione shouted making everyone stare at the normally conserved 11 year old witch.
"Always nice to meet a fan." Loopty said. "Today we where testing a machine that could stop or reverse the aging process."
"That's incredible think of the possibilities in medicine you could enhance!"
"Yes we could have saved all 3 trillionares!"
"And of course you use it to save the wealthiest of capitalists." Hermione sighed.
"Unfortunately we neglected to test the machine on the poor as we usually do."
Loopty yipped as Hermione sent a shocking hex his way. Fury on her face.
"There well compensated for their suffering I assure you." Loopty said. "All injuries permanent or otherwise are taken care of by a trust we set up we're not idiots. But we were too sure of our own genius. And set it to move the aging process forward."
"Why the fuck would you make that?" Blitzo asked. "Sounds like an accident waiting to happen."
"Well Mr Goopty, if this happened when you advanced the aging process what would have happened if you reversed it?" Hermione pointed asked.
"I see your point." Loopty said scratching his mustache. "Oh well back to the drawing board. Now onto why I want Lyle dead. He's taking all the credit for this machine. We made it together and he's gonna make all the goddamned money in the world and become the fourth trillionare."
"Of bloody course it's over money. Bloody capitalists." Hermione scoffed.
"Hermione, most of Dads clients reasons are about either money, drugs or sex. Drug dealers who got cheated or murdered by clients or allies. Husbands or wives who got screwed in divorce cases. That sort of thing."
"That's really not that evil sir." Draco said.
"It's evil towards me." Loopty protested. "Now get yor crimson asses up above and send that heartless no good sonuvabitch to Hell where he belongs!"
"You do realize poopty-"
"Loooopty." Loopty growled.
"Of course of course." Blitzo said calmly. "If we kill him and he ends up in Hell you will be stuck with him. For eternity."
"Oh trust me, I'm counting on it." The mad scientist brought out several torture devices.
"That's kinda hot." Moxie have a thumbs up from his place on Harry and Draco's shoulders and the two looked at each other then shrugged.
"So Harry how would you like to come with us on this mission?" Blitzo asked Harry as He, Draco and Hermione sorted files.
"Me?" Harry asked. "Really?"
"Yeah your eleven years old now and you got your first kill under your belt. I think your ready to join us and do some reconnaissance on the target."
"Aww just recon?"
"Sorry kiddo no live ammo for you yet."
"Damn."
"Yeah Lipton's in the house." Harry said peeking through his night vision goggles. "Your good to go Dad, little security."
"Let's kill this rich guy!" Harry heard Millie said as the 3 jumped down in tacky clothes in at least an attempt at human disguises.
"And here we have 3 tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder!" The tour guide said. "Things like this can happen to famous people all the time."
Harry jumped through the bushes to join the Imps in his dark clothes.
"Wow that machine really did a number on him." Moxie said.
What was once an active vital scientist had become a fat, short, desolate, bedridden old man.
Lyle started tying a noose with his ice cord.
"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Harry asked.
They started eating the snacks they brought watching with anticipation. Harry was eating gummy bears.
Heavenly Noise*
Harry brought his arm over his eyes as 3 heavenly beings descended from on High.
"Who the fuck are they!" Blitzo demanded.
"Oh no! Sir those are-!"
"Cherubs Mr. Lyle!" The humanoid cherub greeted cheerily.
"We've been sent here on behalf of all the people in Heaven who have benefited from your amazing technological advances." The male sheep said.
"Oh Hell no!" Blitzo said.
Harry and the imps made their way inside.
"Sir it is our humble opinion." Moxie said before Blitzo tried to jump through the glass window and failed. "That you should continue the process to commit die."
"I mean what do you expect to do with all this money now that your old and gross?" Millie asked before sniffing and puking.
Collin flew over to the human boy
"What are you doing with Imps? How did a mortal boy find Imps?" The cherub asked curiously.
"The big ones my dad." Harry pointed to Blitzo. "Raised me as his own son for 10 years."
"Shouldn't you be in school?"
"I should. But unfortunately the Ministry Of Magic apparently frowns upon your dads company to break your innocent Godfather who was never given a fair trial out of Azkaban."
"Ooo a Wizard." Colin said eagerly. "Given the spark of magic from God himself!"
Harry chuckled at the lambs naïveté. "Try downstairs."
"You where raised in Hell?!" Collin asked in shock. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my god." He panicked. What was a human child doing in Hell?!
"I did say the big one was my dad didn't I?"
"Moxie what do we got for him?"
"I have-" And Moxie listed various weapons he had on him which shocked even Harry.
"Revolvers in 3 colors, katana."
"He's classier than that." Collin protested before grabbing an M16 from Lyle before he could shoot himself.
"Gods gift of nature is a wonder to be hold regardless of age or wealth."
"You gonna take advice from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitzo asked putting his index finger through his thumb and fore finger in a fucking motion.
"For fucks sake dad." Harry smacked his face. He was wearing a Lion cub costume to compliment Blitzos Lion costume.
"Oh that is so inappropriate!" Keenie protested.
"Oh kiss our asses prude." Millie flips them off with both hands.
"Trust me when I say nature is no beauty upclose. It's ugly cold and dangerous." Blitzo gave the guy a pair of binoculars.
Harry peeked through his own binoculars to see a beautiful, serene scene with a deer some bunnies and squirrels. Until a wolf pounced and started munching on one of the bunnies. A bear suddenly slashed the wolf dead and a tree falls on the bear while the tree cutter human get a beehive dropped on his head making him toss the chainsaw he was using up in the air which cuts off both of his arms. A stag then stabs the tree cutter through the back with its antlers.
Blitzo smacked his face in shock at the perfect point about nature he was just trying to make.
"Hoooo" Harry groaned before puking himself.
"Get It outta your system." Blitzo patted Harry's back.
"I've never wanted to die more than I do now."
"Quit looking." The cherubs tried to yank the nocs out of his hands.
"Is he alright?" Collin came fluttering over in concern"
"Yeah seeing simulated violence is one thing seeing real violence like that is on a whole other scale." Blitzo said. "He'll be back on his feet in no time."
Moxie and Millie dressed as cats fist bumped in Pride.
"Let's go someplace else!" Cletus suggested nervously.
They where all suddenly in a shopping mall in America. It is the holiday season after all and what perfect way to capture the hearts and minds of capitalist children everywhere than by bringing out the jolly red man himself, not Satan, Santa Clause!
"Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle demanded
"We're here to show you another thing worth living for, childhood wonderment." Keenie pointed out to the children.
"So how do we make this bad? This is adorable as fuck." Millie asked honestly.
"Thank you for showing me this!" Lipton said to the cherubs who smiled.
Harry glared at the Santa. Something was off about him. He walked right up to him and riiiiipppp!!!!
A shirt with #cuties was under his costume. Cuties was a disgusting film that nearly canceled the Netflix streaming service because it sexualised children.
The children and adults around all panicked and hurried to grab their children.
"Nice going!" How'd you know?" Blitzo asked.
"Always bet on Red." Harry said cryptically.
"Good boy." Blitzo tosses him a gummy bear in the air and Harry caught it in his mouth.
The cherubs hurried Lyle away.
"This place reeks of teenagers."
"Lovers lookout!" Cletus said eagerly. "If you killed yourself you'd be missing out on the most important factor of life of all."
"Money?"
"No, love." Collin replies.
"Sure love can be nice. Hell I'm married to the love of my life myself and so are Mox and Mills." Blitzo said coming up dressed as a southern debutant. "But lets be brutally honest here. "HEY HORNY LOVERS! WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD FUCK THIS OLD MAN?!"
All of the cars sped away.
"You know you four are so utterly cruel!" Collin said. "We'rejust tryjn f to help someone in need!"
"And your so morally superior just because we want some greedy, authoritarian, capitalist to keel over dead?!" Moxxie snapped back. Moxxie was dressed as a typical "Karen." Harry a French maid, complete with duster accessory.
"Your Making things too real now Moxxie." Blitzo said spraying a bottle labeled Piss at him making him cringe.
Now they where at a Saturday night Opera.
"Behold Gods gift of art and music." Cletus said. "Another Of Gods Bleessings to be entranced with, comforted by and live for."
"So how exactly do we make this bad?" Harry asked. Growing up with Moxxie as his SatanFather he appreciated the fine arts and music of all kinds.
"We can't." Moxxie said as Blitzo waggled his rear end left and right thinking. "There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact."
"Unless we ruin it somehow." Blitzo spoke up. He grabbed a light fixture and started swinging it to the other side of the stage. Back and forth, back and forth.
"She's not very good." Lipton said as the singer kept trying to keep up with the light.
Blitzo laughed and started doing it faster. Until the fixture broke and fell right on the singer killing her instantly.
"That's it! I have had it!" Cletus Keenie and Collin flew up "You 3 monsters hello." Cletus noticed the human child dressed like the leader Imp for the first time. "What are you doing with these imps?"
"Uh Cletus the big one is his father." Collin said. "He's a Wizard."
"Ooo exotic." Keenie said. "We can help you find your real parents if you'd like."
"My parents are Blitzo and Stolas Goetia I am Harry Rameses Goetia second in line for the Throne Of Pride." Harry said Proudly. "Thanks but no."
"How could you possibly deny your birth mother and father over these monsters?" Cletus demanded.
"This "monster" as you call him, raised me as his own son then married my other dad Prince Stolas when I was 2. And my birth parents are dead so." Harry made a weighing motion with his hands. "They raised me and trained me in magic from the time I could understand what magic was. For you to call them monsters when they've shown me more love and affection than humans have so far besides my birth parents is ignorant, asanine and actually pretty racist considering you guys are the bottom of the barrel in Heavens Hierarchy."
"Ow." Cletus rubbed his eye after a piece of folded and rolled up paper hit it after being flicked from a rubber band in Blitzos claws. "Grrrr that's it! I have had it! You 3 monsters have messed with us enough!"
"We're just trying to do our J-Job." Collin stuttered angrily.
"Well so are we." Moxxie snapped back.
"I don't believe this your trying to meddle in the lives of HUMANS? It's bad enough you've corrupted one human child already, but your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people-" Keenie was shouting at Millie who was looking more furious by the second.
Click.
"Wanna finish that fucking sentence you pig headed, judgemental cotton candy tit having Bitch?" Harry hissed angrily pushing his Flintlock at the back of Keenies head.
"Filthy brat!" Keenie suprised Harry by knocking his Flintlock away and falling him to the floor of the beam punching at him.
Blitzo ran to get her off him. Millie and Moxxie where running from Cletus and Collin.
"You know your not exactly making the idea of Heaven appealing if everyone there is like YOU." Harry hocked a loogey in Keenies face.
"Ewww gross you filthy mortal!" Keenie socked Harry in the nose and was going for another punch before Blitzo kicked her off Harry and grabbed him before grabbing a rope attatched by sandbags, cutting a sandbag down and flying further upwards to a balcony putting Harry in a corner.
"Stay here. Proud of you." Blitzo said before running from Keenies heavenly arrows.
Moxxie and Millie before Collin noticed Keenies assault on the human child where dodging arrows from both before Collin floated upwards to check on the wellbeing of the child.
Cletus blinded by rage tackled Millie and was punching her. Moxxie grabbed a rope and carefully aimed at another sandbag rope before shooting the rope dropping the sandbag onto Cletus and grabbing Millie Tarzan style. Keenie suddenly came flying at them with Cletusas they started making our and brought out fully automatic sub machine guns and started shooting making the momentum turn them into a twister of death and destruction.
"I understand now." Lyle said watching the spectacle. "Life is precious because we only get one. If creatures far beyond this mortal coil are going to these lengths over MY life then suddenly it's worth living. Plus, I'm still rich. I can just buy all the things!" Lyle held up cash in his fists. "I no longer crave death!"
The audience clapped before being killed themselves by Moxxie and Millie's bullets.
Blitzo had managed to ditch the yellow bitch before seeing Collin heal Harry's nose.
"Heavenly blessings nice." Blitzo said. "Heaven healing magic sure comes in handy in a situation like this huh?"
"We don't usually get into a situation like this." Collin said sadly watching Cletus and Keenie fight with Moxxie and Millie. "I don't know what happened I've never seen them this angry before."
"Isn't anger a sin?" Harry asked.
"Yes. But everyone gets angry now and then. It's when it gets into rage addiction territory that it becomes a serious sin." Collin said. "This is madness. Lookout!"
Moxxie jand Millie flew with their rope into the balcony and knocked both Blitzo and Harry off. Harry held onto the balcony by his fingertips as Collin tried with all his might to pick him up while Blitzo Moxie and Millie ended up tied up together on the stage.
"Just let me go." Harry said. "It's not gonna work. Besides I might not die." He said cheerfully. "Worst case scenario I end up crippled for life."
"Are you sure?" Collin asked.
Harry nodded.
Collin sighed sadly and stopped trying to hold on to the boy and he fell.
Harry screamed as his hip and legs hit the large piano both his legs where broken. He twitched in unbelievable pain.
Harry was feeling weak. He had fallen from one of the banisters and broken his legs on the piano on the way down. Crying in pain. Keenie and Cletus cornered him as is dad and SatanParents watched helplessly.
Trying and failing to summon a hex bolt to defend himself Harry tried to crawl backwards as Keenie and Cletus inches closer with their crossbows raised.
"STOOOOOP!" Colin flew quickly in front of the child. Aiming his crossbow at his own friends.
"Colin get out of the way! This brat is practically Hellspawn at this point!"
"I don't care if Harry is the Anti Christ himself!" Collin shouted. "WE DON'T KILL MORTALS!"
"Collin God only knows how many this brat has killed by now if he's been raised by these monsters!" Cletus.
"I've actually only killed a troll that was gonna kill one of my friends so far." Harry said in a pained tone.
"Here that?! His own words! We may as well put this beast out of his misery now!" Keenie shouted.
"Killing this boy won't stop all Murder and it won't stop death." Collin said. "Death is inevitable for all mortals. MURDER ISN'T NATURAL ORDER." He flew over to Blitzo. "Sir, what are your usual targets like? Keep in mind that I'll never accept murder as a solution to any problem."
"Oh the usual, serial adulterers Mob bosses, pedophiles, drug dealers who gave somebody bad product, rapists you want me to go on? Occasionally we'll get a target like the child of a prominent politician but that's the nature of the Assassin business. You don't get to pick and choose the target just do your job and get your ass home to your bird dicked husband and kids. Ooo ooo ooo once we ran a spring break special and most of our targets where paper stealers, serial cheaters, or rapist frat Bros with that no means yes yes means anal mentality." Blitzo reminisced. "Fun mission."
"See? Even the Hellborn have some moral compass."
"I don't care!" Cletus shouted. "These monsters have messed with our mission enough! The boy dies tonight!"
Creeeaaaakkkk
Everyone including the piano player who stepped off to the side suddenly watched the piano being launched into the air.
Lyke screamed and clambered over onto the audience seats to avoid the piano but the pianos trajectory changed at the last second-
WHAM
Lyle Lipton was dead.
"Well would you look at that." Moxxie said with a smirk. "You did our job for us."
Suddenly a bright heavenly light appeared and several more cherubs fluttered down with their leader apparentlybeing a deer.
"What the?" Cletus asked.
"Cletus And Keenie you've been banished from Heaven for your actions regarding Harry Rameses Goetia." A tiny deer said. Reading from a list of charges.
"What?!" The two said in shock. "But he's jut a Hellsp-"
"He's still a mortal human child." Deerie said. "So yeah no, sorry attacking humans is against the rules yeah, no."
She turned to Collin. "Collin your also banished from Heaven. But our supervisors also saw how you defended Harry when he was in need of help. You have the chance for redemption and salvation."
Collin smiles sadly. Slightly perking up.
A super fluffy cherub came fluttering by Harry and said "Oh you poor thing." He waved his glowing hands over Harry's legs and they healed back together seamlessly.
"Oh wow." Harry said as he wobbly stood. "Thank you."
"We're all sinners." The cherub said. "Even cherubs have sinful thoughts and emotions. Nobody is perfect but Jesus. When someone needs help, we help them. Even Jesus told Mary Magdalene the prostitute to go and sin no more. I know I won't change your heart or mind overnight but every good deed makes the Living World a better place."
The Cherub hugged Harry who hugged him back. He was very warm and fluffy. And flew back to his comrades.
"Is there anything we can do?" Keenie askedwith Years in her eyes.
"You 3 started a turf war that resulted in the deaths of several humans to protect the life of a sinner who proudly experimented on the poor." Deerie said looking over the charges. "So yeah no, sorry yeah no...no..."
"We didn't mean to we would never it was all them!" Keenie pointed toward the now misusing. Her jaw dropping in Horror.
She turned and the brat was no where to be seen either nor was Collin anymore. He betrayed us! She screamed in her mind.
"Yeah so...bye!" Deerie and the others returned to Heaven.
Cletus tried to follow but the portal closed before he could reach. He started bawling.
"Welp the old man wanted to live again and thanks to those fucking cherubs, no offense Collin-"Blitzo said looking out the window at the Hellfire red sunset.
"None taken." The lamb said softly as he was thinking.
"He's probably up in heaven living it up so we failed. It's it's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business and we failed. And now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up."
"What happened?" Draco asked.
"I'll tell you guys later." Harry said whispered back.
"Sir what are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asked.
"Oh I already sent him a text. We should be good cause texts don't make people angry."
Moxxie pushes his chair back just in time for Loopty to break the wall and descend from an airship.
"Blitzzzz." Loopty sang.
"Loopty! Look I can explain-" Blitzostarted before another surprise guest appeared in the same manner, unfortunately pinning Moxxie underneath his escalator.
"Lyle Lipton?!"
"Sir I don't understand we thought you went to heaven." Harry said to the older scientist
"Heaven? For Hells sake boy you don't make millions in robotic advances by NOT experimenting on the poor." The rolling machine like man laughed.
"Oh you no good heartless sonuvabitch!" Loopty said hugging Lyle. "Thank you all for reuniting me with my best friend!"
"The one question now is what do two old robotic geniuses do now that we're in Hell?" Lyle asked.
Hermione shrieked as another hole was made through a wall to the reception area.
"Did I say did somebody say inventors?"
Wally Whackford walked into the room putting a small canon like pistol away.
"Everyone STOP fucking up my walls! Moxxie's gonna have to fix this shit if the girl can't again!"
Moxxie gurgled in pain.
"I'm looking for fellow geniuses to exploit-I mean employ-"
ZAP "Ow I say ow!" Hexes where stronger in Hell they had discovered.
"Get out!" Hermione shouted sending several more shocking hexes at the imp. "Out I say! Enough of your nonsense! OUT!"
"Ya know I'm starting to like her." Blitzo told Harry as Hermione chased Whackford out of the building entirely. "You pick good friends kiddo."
Later after the walls had been repaired by the young wizards and witch...
"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Collin said as he flew back and forth in a pacing motion in the IMP conference room.
"Look I may not be the biggest fan of cherubs but you protected my son when he was at his most vulnerable." Blitzo said. "As far as I'm concerned your welcome to stay in the Goetia palace as long as you like."
"Thank you sir that takes care of one problem." Collin gave a small smile as Millie brought him some cool water. "How does water exist in the lake of eternal fire?"
"That's what I said!" Hermione said to Collin.
"What is your impression of society in Hell?" Moxxie asked Collin.
"It's a horror show full of rapists and murderers."
"Well yes the worst of the worst humans end up here in Hell with some exceptions." He looked over to Harry Hermione and Draco. We do have our own laws and rules. The main issue in Hell is that Sinners are forbidden to leave the Pride Circle. If we could just expunge that rule it would go along way to solving our overpopulation crisis in Pride."
Collin hmmd in thought.
"Then there's Cousin Charlie's Hazbin Hotel!" Harry said. "She has a theory that Sinners if they wish and put in the hard work could eventually redeem themselves and go to Heaven."
"Mr. Collin have you thought of any other kind of career?" Draco asked. "Or are cherubs used as primarily office type staff?"
"Office staff." Collin said sadly. "Personally I always wanted to be a teacher!" He said with a smile. "The idea of molding young minds preparing them for the world really appeals to me. But I wasn't born a Seraphim."
Harry snapped his fingers. "I got an idea!"
Hit Wizard Squad Arrested!
An entire squad of Hit Wizards has been arrested at Hogwarts after being held at wandpoint by students after being sent to attack 2 first year students in retaliation for Mr. Harry Goetias attack on Azkaban prison to free his godfather Sirius Black.
"We are taking this matter extremely seriously." Headmaster Dumbledore told us from his office. "Amelia Bones has been notified that somebody in the Department Of Magical Law Enforcement has a vendetta against Mr. Goetia And was willing to harm two innocent students for his surrender.
"This is utter insanity." Professor Snape, Head Of Slytherin House said From his classroom. "I'm no fan of Black but even during the war children of known Death Eaters weren't stalked during school terms."
"It's a disgrace to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." Said Deputy Headmistress Mcgonagall From her office. "Hogwarts is a place of learning not an arm of Cornelius Fudges office. He has no authority here to detain students on his own. Not even if they possess the knowledge of ancient Magicks we have never seen before as Mr Goetia does I wish Mr. Goetia, young Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger well wherever they are in Hell and look forward to teaching them whenever they return to school."
"Absolutely outrageous." Said Professor Flitwick, Head Of Ravenclaw From his office. "To send a lethal squad of Hit Wizards after average wizarding children. Now I can understand having backup when coming to take an absurdly powerful wizarding child such as Mr. Goetia with his knowledge of Hellborn Magick But I was never prouder of my students than I was to see all Houses coming together o protect their own!"
"I am absolutely ashamed that I recognized several of those Hit Wizards from Hufflepuff." Hufflepuff Head Of House Pomona Sprout said From Greenhouse 2. "If I had my way I would have fed them to my Venomous Tentacula."
New member of Hogwarts Staff is from a very surprising background!
Professor Collin, the newest member of Hogwarts teaching staff is teaching a new elective in the coming term teaching Hogwarts students about Heavenly and Hellborn beings. Himself being a cherub of all things.
"I'm very blessed for this opportunity to open young minds to the idea of an afterlife of heavenly blessings of eternal Hellfire." Collin told Prophet reporters. "I'll do my best to present the material in an unbiased and professional manner but it will be difficult as I've been adjusting from being banished from Heaven."
"Why where you banished from Heaven sir?"
"My former friends and I had this organization called CHERUB and we dedicated ourselves to saving those in dire need of help usually in moments of extreme danger after their deceased loved ones in Heaven requested our help. But unfortunately after a while we started being rather Prideful in our work. One of the Seven you know. And Keenie And Cletus, my former friends, where very wrathful and judgemental towards Hellborn beings. After we encountered my new friend Harry Goetias Imp father and his group the immediate Murder Professionals we technically started a turf war that ended up in mortal humans other than their single target dying. You have no idea how much I regret that now."
Collin looked down sadly. "I know Judging others is a sin, but the one who we where protecting I had reservations about protecting was a greedy capitalist roboticist who gleefully experimented on the poor."
Collin looks reminiscent at this point until our next question.
"How will you return to Heaven?"
"Whenever my Superiors believe I have fully payed repentance for my sins."
"Who are your superiors?"
"The archangels!" Colin says joyously. "My personal supervisor is Michael."
To Be Continued...
I didn't like how elitist Cletus and Keenie sounded when according to Blitzo cherubs are pretty much the heavenly counterpart to Imps.
I feel like Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame would be an appropriate song for the ending of the battle scene.
Harry going "Hoooo" is from one of my favorite reaction youtubers.