92 Days
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett has left the hospital after her shooting, This describes the activity of each, during those 92 days without contact, both in the hospital and out. It blends some Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. What were each up to during this time, Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
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Chapter 22
Los Angeles
Two Weeks Later (Same Time Frame As Chp 21)
Rick had never been a fan of living in hotels, even five-star penthouse suites begin to feel like a Motel 6 budget room once you've stayed long enough. Whoever coined the phrase, "Road Warrior" surely had that right. It was a battle to face each day, missing the little things in life at home, even the ability or nuisance of hearing car horns blaring and two men cursing at each other. Call it what you may, it was still home and a comfort zone.
It had been two weeks and two days since Beckett had pulled the ambush of him in his Hampton's home, and he was still yet to read the letter she almost forced him to take. No matter what she wrote, he knew forgiveness would come slowly, and only when he was ready. It wasn't something you could take a pill and ala-ka-zam the hurt was gone.
He had learned a great deal about hurt and forgiveness going through counseling when he and Gina divorced, including you could still love the person but hate the actions that they were doing. That had been his takeaway with Gina, he knew she loved him, he knew she wanted to be a good wife, but she didn't know how. So, when she got lost about what to do as a wife, she reverted back to her comfort zone, Gina the publisher.
It had taken almost a full year for him to work through that hurt, probably because he wanted it to work so badly for his daughter, that he felt he had failed her, his little girl. Having to still work with his ex-wife, now just his publisher was very tough to do, for both of them.
It was joint counseling after they were already officially divorced that had brought them to their current relationship. Loving each other, BUT knowing that neither was the right choice for their spouse, again a tough thing to accept when you had wanted something so badly.
Gina had sealed it when she handled his medical condition and never breathed a word to a soul, not even Alexis, even though she begged him to tell her, which he refused. She was a kid, let her be one as long as she could, there would always be time for the adult version of his little girl to learn about it, besides he was doing great.
Rick had asked his VP of Real Estate Development, for RCE, or Richard Castle Enterprises, to look into both commercial and perhaps a home for potential purchase, he didn't want to live in certain sections of Los Angeles County, it was just too damn crowded already.
As usual, Tad didn't disappoint, he had just emailed Rick a number of homes in the quaint village of Hidden Hills, one in particular caught his eye. There was a confidential sale for a property located on Long Valley Road, Hidden Hills, CA 91302, meaning either a celebrity split hadn't been made public yet, or they wanted only qualified buyers for the steep asking price of 15.6 million dollars.
He blocked the price from view and met Gian and Eva downstairs for breakfast as planned before they drove to the studios. He knew Gina, would love the house, but he had no idea about Eva. She was free to commute or stay in the home to work, or a combination, he wasn't trying to force anything. He had just about reached his tolerance for hotels regardless of how prestigious they were.
"Good Morning Mr. Castle," Maurice, the trusted concierge greeted him, "Miss Gina, and Miss Eva, were just seated in your private room," he said as he smiled, clicked his fingers and a young lady appeared,
"Good Morning Sir, if you'll follow me," she said as she paused as he shook Maurice's hand obviously palming a large tip,
"Good morning, he glanced at the young lady's name tag, prominently displayed by the large set of natural assets she was sporting. Rick was careful to only look at the name tag, "Phyllis, how's your day been so far?" he asked,
She smiled, "It's been good, I've been here since 5:00 AM so the morning rush is just about over now," as they reached the table in a private room, with servers standing across the room, awaiting his arrival to begin their service.
"Thank you, Phyllis," Rick said as he slipped her a $50 bill just for seating him, she could only imagine what he had given Maurice.
"Thank you, sir, I mean, it's not necessary but thanks, I certainly appreciate it." She smiled and waved the serving staff over.
"Good Morning Ladies," he said as he kissed each one's cheek and took his seat. The server was already pouring coffee and did it smell good, as he let the aroma hit his nostrils.
"Are you ready to order Rick, Eva, and I are going to have the protein plate, what about you?" Gina asked, gently taking his hand, leaning in and whispering, "Did you check your blood pressure this morning love?"
"I think I'm going to go with the cold cereal and fruit plate," thanks as he handed the menu to the server. Turning to Gina, he whispered, "134 over 72, I'm fit as a fiddle, thanks" finishing it off with another kiss just below her ear that made her jump.
"Rick, you know that's a spot you can't kiss in public", she laughed as Eva just smiled, thinking I'd love to show him a spot that would get that reaction from me to herself.
"Well, we do have some business to discuss before we leave for the studio, I mean I'd like to if you ladies don't mind." He said, as he produced the folder with the pictures of the house, Tad had sent over earlier, and Maurice had printed in photo quality paper and ink.
"What's this Rick?" Eva asked,
"Well, it's a home I'm looking at buying, I don't know about you Eva, but I know Genes hates hotels after about a week or so, and well, since we have a deal for four more pictures, it seems like a sound investment. We could use part for business, part for living quarters when we're here on the west coast, or you could commute from your condo Eva, I mean" she had just stared at the third picture while Rick was speaking,
"Shut up Rick, when do we move? I mean, eh, I hope I was included in the home part as well, that damn condo is lonely," she said,
"Of course, you were, it's got 11 bedrooms, 7 baths, and a full-size pool with the basement converted to a complete gym on one side, and a combo driving range and bowling alley on the other. The driving range threw me for a loop until I was told it was VR or Virtual Reality." He had just finished when he was being kissed by the two ladies, Eva got in a good one, including a tonsil clearing tongue job.
"I guess the question is when Rick, I mean"
"Is tomorrow too soon, I have Darci flying out today to look at it, it might take a week or so if we want something major changed, but it's already been cleaned and sealed for a month, I guess there's a battle over the kids, but the house is a done deal to parties we shall leave nameless," Rick said,
"Darci, do you mean Darci Hether, don't you ever forget anyone or anything?" she kissed him trying to top Eva's tongue job. She turned to Eva and said, "Darci is my friend, and one of the best decorators in New York. She completely designed the interior design of Rick's third anniversary present to me, a private log cabin style home in the mountains." Gina said with a twinge of sadness
"Girl, you got a custom-built home for an anniversary, complete with decorations from your favorite decorator, what the hell is wrong with you? I never would have let him go; I don't care how many beds he christened." Eva said,
"Well, yes, I was, well it was stupid, and to correct you, he was 100% faithful, he never ever stepped out on me," Gina said,
"Well, someone did cheat I me" then she caught herself as Gina's face flushed,
"Hey that was then this is now, so what do you say, can we play hooky today and check it out," Rick said, quickly changing the subject and rescuing his former wife from the embarrassment of admission of guilt.
"Well, don't you have to put in an offer Rick, I mean what if someone already bought it?" Eva asked, happy to change the subject,
"Oh God Rick, you bought it didn't you?" Gina asked, smiling as she hugged him, "What if we had said it wouldn't have worked? She asked,
"Well, here's door numbers 2,3,4. Tad is going to sell these and earn a hefty commission as well as profit for RCE." Rick laughed,
"I don't even want to see them, I'm happy, hell, I'm over the moon, let's go see the new home of the west coast branch of RCE," Gina said, as each grabbed one arm and walked out to the limo waiting for him. Rick was still evaluating which kiss had more passion Eva's or Gina's it was hard to tell, but oh well, stop, get to work, he thought as he gave the address to his driver.
XxX
NYPD
12th Precinct
Monday, following Dr. Burke's Appointment.
Kate felt strange, very much out of her element, in fact, she had reached the precinct, with medical releases from Dr. Kovacs and Dr. Burke, along with limitations for two weeks, to desk duty, to reacclimate her into the bustle of her profession. This was a compromise between her and Doctor Burke who at first had placed her on six weeks desk duty. She objected, and after discussions, she had prevailed.
FLASBACK DR. BURKE'S OFFICE
"Kate, I agree with you that you have surpassed what I have asked, and you've gone much farther in learning about your, eh, condition than most patients. I still feel that it makes good sense to allow you to ease back into the life of a Detective, and six weeks isn't really that long, considering how long you've already served." He said as he peered over his glasses,
"Perhaps not to you Doctor Burke, but bear with me, how would you react, if, perhaps for some reason there were limitations placed on your practice, such as I don't know, maybe you could observe but not discuss or recommend treatment to those who need you? Would you feel the same way? Honestly, Doctor Burke, you don't even have to answer that, we both know it would shatter you to the core.
"I would like for you to observe this", as she held her left arm out, there was a colorful band around her wrist, it appeared to be a bracelet, and fit with her clothing as a nice accessory.
"It's a bracelet Kate, what is it that you're trying to demonstrate, and how would a bracelet affect my decision on the amount of time you should remain away from many of the triggers of PTSD?" Dr. Burke asked,
"I agree Doctor Burke, the first few times I heard cars backfiring I was under a table with a weapon in my hand, but the exercises, deep breathing, listening to my iPod even with only one earbud in and breaking the miniature cold and hot packs I always carry in my pockets are enough to bring me back to reality, to what is happening today.
"In addition, the bracelet as you call it, please examine it closer," He came close and realized what she was getting at, she pulled it up and allowed it to snap back causing a slight slap on her wrist, similar to what a rubber band would have done, except wider and much more force.
"OK, Kate, I realize you really have done your homework, how often have you had to use the Farrell technique? (A technique where every time you become aware that you are engaging in a bad habit, pull it back and allow it to snap so it creates discomfort,) Dr. Burke asked.
"At first, well, let me back up, when I knew that my Mom's case was solved, I thought about not going back to the force. Then I remembered, that mom was only one case that waited for justice, so I'd like to go back and concentrate on cold cases only. I've spoken to Captain Gates, Commissioner Boyle, and Mr. Mayor, and well it depends upon how fast I can get back to 100% capacity.
"They have to fill the open position within one month or go through the entire requisitioning process all over again, which in short is a paperwork nightmare. They have what was described by Commissioner Boyle as a "suitable, not ideal but suitable candidate targeted," but would like for me to take the position if I can work my way back that quickly. I just saw Dr. Kovacs and got physically cleared last Friday.
"To answer your question when I knew the path I wanted to follow, I snapped the band at least 40 times a day, sometimes more when we worked out at the gun range."
"Excuse me, you just said, we, and gun range, did I hear you correctly Kate?" Dr. Burke showed great concern in his eyes and voice,
"Yes, you heard it correctly, and please don't be angry, but I wanted to face my fears head-on, and well once you gave me the additional tools, I couldn't wait. The mini hot packs are wonderful by the way, I crack it in my pocket and suddenly my mind is paying attention to why my hand is getting warm, not replaying some nightmare in my head over and over. She noticed Dr. Burke with the slightest of smiles as he wrote in his pad,
"Well back to your question, I had Roz Karpowski, my fellow lead detective go with me to the range. First just to get accustomed to the sounds, then to monitor me as I began first just holding the weapon, then loading, and unloading, and well it took about 5 weeks but finally, I thought I was ready to fire my weapon." Kate said and stopped,
"I can imagine Kate, but why don't you tell me about your first experience, if you're ready," Dr. Burke said calmly,
"Sure, as you can imagine it was a disaster, I pulled the trigger twice, the gun jammed and I had a panic attack and Roz took the weapon from me. We practiced alone in her condo, for another 10 days every day, just holding and pretending to shoot.
"Then she found two old-time toy cap pistols, I don't know from where but Roz, well, she worked with me firing at a target, with the toy pistol. It made noise and smoke but nothing came out. I tolerated that well, no issues, no attacks, then Roz, practiced drawing on me, even though the guns were toys, the first few times, well, it wasn't pretty.
"Finally after enough repetition, I tolerated the cap guns, even firing the caps to simulate the weapons firing. Now if I do get a gun or weapon pulled on me, I have a reference in my mind, I can recall the simulations. According to PTSD experts that have been published, specifically for police or military trauma, that's the most effective manner in which to avoid having episodes, I think it's called,"
"Substitution, Kate, it's called substitution methodology, where you create or remember a situation that won't allow your memory to go to the traumatic events which caused the PTSD. I can see you've worked even harder than I initially thought. I'm proud of you for that, but we do need to discuss something you raised,"
"You want to know how I really feel now that Mom's case is solved and I didn't have anything to do with it? Honestly, I hated Richard Castle, Dylan Walsh, the FBI, and all those standing at that press conference.
"When I spoke to my Dad, I could see the tired look leave his face, as he said, to me 'it's over, it's really over Katie. Johanna has peace and now so can we'. When I realized that the goal wasn't what I accomplished, it wasn't a contest for me, but what was accomplished for Mom, the mission as I first set out then I felt so ashamed." She lowered her head,
"I think I saw in your letter to Mr. Castle you actually thanked him for NOT turning the information he gave to Agent Walsh to you or did I read that incorrectly?" Dr. Burke asked,
"No, that was accurate, and it was sincere, after reviewing some of the operational planning documents, I can't give specifics, but I would have gotten Detectives Ryan and Esposito along with myself killed with my half-ass plan. Rick knew that, I think he never intended to allow me to get myself or my team killed, so I'm holding out hope that at least he cares a little bit." She said as she dabbed her eyes,
"Very well, Kate, two weeks it is, but please, don't miss an appointment now that you're returning to work, we can move them to once a month unless you need to speak to me. You know how to reach me, and I'll always make time to discuss anything you need to. Good Luck to you Detective, I'll see you in a month" he said, as he made some final notes, then signed a work release and handed it to her.
"Dr. Burke, thank you, I know I wouldn't be here, at least at this point without you, so thank you so very much," she said,
"My pleasure Kate, stay safe," he said with a smile, and then closed her file.
CURRENT TIME
She was in a daze when she heard clapping coming from behind her, beside her, and then in front of her stood the fresh face of the Irishman, Kevin Ryan,
"Hey, Beckett. What are you doing here?" he asked his face in a full smile,
"Kate, I didn't think you were back till next week." Javi chimed in,
"Yeah, well, two months of listening to crickets in my dad's cabin...was driving me nuts." She replied as she looked towards the Captain's office, with a distant look in her eyes, remembering Roy.
"It's okay. You don't have to make excuses. We know you missed us. That's why you couldn't stay away." Javi kidded,
"Shut up." God, she had missed these characters and hoped they understood why she was doing what she was doing.
"Well, I have to see Captain Gates, so if you'll excuse me," she said, as Kevin and Javi exchanged puzzled looks,
Kate entered the office, shook Gates' hand, and then proceeded to discuss something behind closed doors. She pulled out the releases from both doctors and then Gates stood, shook her hand, and then walked out of the office with her.
As soon as the bullpen was aware of Gates presence, all conversations stopped,
"Great, everyone, I need your attention for a few minutes." Her voice commanded,
Complete silence over the entire floor,
"I'm sure all of you are happy to see Detective Kate Beckett back, after a medical leave. As everyone knows, Senator Bracken, the ring leader of so many disgraced high-ranking officers has been found guilty and sentenced to three life terms without the chance of parole. That's not the news I wish to share.
"Commissioner Boyle is disturbed with the number of cold cases that homicide must table each year, one being our own detective's, so Kate is returning today to assume command of the NYPD Homicide Cold Case Division, she will be staffing her department from officers across the city, and in this position will report directly to the Commissioner. Welcome back, Detective."
"Thanks, Captain, I hope you all know how much I value your friendship, and even more now realize just how much your contributions have made me successful, I thank each of you and apologize to everyone who I know I've been a royal bitch to at least once.
"I'll be restricted to desk duty for the next two weeks, but during that time, will be conducting interviews, for 8 open positions, so if you're interested, please see me. Once again, thank you for the warm welcome back, and for everything you've done for me, now let's get back to work" she said,
TBC