92 Days

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett has left the hospital after her shooting, This describes the activity of each, during those 92 days without contact, both in the hospital and out. It blends some Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. What were each up to during this time, Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

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Chapter 24

NYPD

12th Precinct

Wednesday Morning, 11:54 AM

Kate heard her phone chime with a text, but she was in the middle of the interview with Anne Hastings. She had placed the phone inside her top drawer so she would NOT be rude and pick it up during their conversation. Anne was the one person she really needed, and she needed her to take the Sargent's exam next month, to serve as her backup.

"Kate, please don't take this the wrong way, I hear what you're saying, especially about changing, but I was a front-row witness to how you treated first Rick, then as you call them your 'boys' when you were pissed off. I've worked far too hard to be treated as a second-class citizen, one reason I hate leaving Roz's team, WHEN and IF I do.

"I get the respect from her, not just lip service, but true respect. Forgive me, but you show up after three months, and suddenly you've found Jesus? You know that sounds like every prisoner on death row, don't you?" Anne certainly wasn't that shy patrol officer who had asked her advice about going for a detective spot only a few years ago, she had grown into a kick-ass woman.

"I don't take offense at what you're saying, Anne. I know I have a lot of people, including you, and the entire precinct here, along with Rick and so many more to prove myself to. I can't guarantee that I won't have a bad day and slip back, but it will be momentarily, that I know for sure. I don't advertise it, but I'm in therapy, and it's working wonders for me." Kate said, shyly,

"You're in therapy Kate? That's something you would have went to your grave before telling a soul a few months ago, is it concerning your shooting, I mean if I may ask?" Anne said gently,

"Anne, I wouldn't have brought it up if I didn't expect questions, you described my behavior, rightly so, before the shooting. My question would be the same as you are asking, when and why did you get the religion, as we say about the prison inmates you used.

"It's a legitimate question, we've worked through the shooting during my counseling sessions, except for the reoccurring dreams, that's in progress. The trait I never considered but it almost cost me my job was the lies I told, to everyone, but especially to my partner.

"Dr. Burke told me flat out that we needed to correct that habit, or he was recommending medical retirement for me for psychological reasons. That scared the hell out of me and forced me to own what was mine. It was no longer a game or trying to hide my deepest secrets with lies, it wouldn't work with the doctor, and as I see now, not in real life either." Kate said quietly,

"YOU, you were threatened with medical retirement, not because of the shooting, but because of psychological issues, that's sobering. I don't know one cop that doesn't have issues or if not yet they are well on their way, it's part of the job." Anne said solemnly,

"Anne, I know it's a big decision, why don't you take two days, talk it over with Roz, or anyone you trust, and let me know, say by Friday morning? If you do accept this position, I really need you to take the Sargent's exam in one month, I need a backup, and it has to be higher than a lead detective role according to Commissioner Boyle." Kate said as she smiled,

"Thanks, Kate, as for the exam, I'm already registered, I knew I would need that no matter what, so that won't be an issue. I think I need to talk to Roz; I'm not doubting what you say is true, but I'd like her perspective, then well, I'll meet with, eh, my family and decide." Anne said, not willing to disclose she was practically engaged to her boyfriend, the writer at the NY Times.

"That's fine Anne, as I say, can you decide by Friday, I'm up against a deadline, and well"

"Friday at the latest, Kate, I promise." She said, as she stood, shook her hand, and left her office. Kate had that sinking feeling since she heard the ping of the text, that it wasn't good news, but now she'd have to find out.

She pulled open the top drawer, re-booted her phone, and saw she had two missed calls, and one text. She knew that the text was probably from Rick, so she went to the voicemails. One was from HR, advising her that her new business cards would be arriving tomorrow by courier, and asking if she needed any further assistance.

She hit delete and moved to the last one. It was from an old classmate, a lady who had gone through the academy with her, although she hadn't given her the time of day then, since she was on her mission of justice for her mom. She decided to listen to what Helen Kray had to say, she was a good cop, even had earned some decorations, but other than that, she didn't remember too much about her.

"Detective Beckett, this is Helen Kray, we went through the academy at the same time, although I never came close enough to be able to hold a conversation with you, much less associate after classes. I'll cut to the chase, I know you're staffing the Cold Case Department, and I'd like to be considered for a position on your team.

"My employee number is 43745, same as my badge number if you care to look up my record. I took the liberty of also emailing you a direct link to my file, and would appreciate at least the opportunity to discuss this opportunity with you. Currently, I am serving in the homicide department at the 117 and will be happy to discuss my reasons for seeking a change in our conversation. Thanks in advance for your consideration, " then the tone beeped, signaling the end of the message.

Kate had a pretty good idea of WHY she wanted to change, the 117 precinct was commanded by one of the last holdouts of the good old boy networks, believing, women were good to make coffee or file paperwork, but real police work was and could only be done by the males. He was a dinosaur and would be retiring soon, but not soon enough for any of the females on the force.

She pulled up Kray's records, and for an underachiever, or at least from what she remembered her as at the academy, she had done well. She had received several citations and had been wounded serving on the Mayor's security team, knocking him to the ground and shielding his body with hers. That had earned her the New York City Police Department Medal for Valor. She had an explementary record, so Kate printed off the cover sheet of her file, along with her accommodation, and added it to the to-be interviewed file.

For now, Kate, couldn't get the sick feeling that Castle's text wasn't good news out of her mind, she went to the break room, finally learning how to use the damn machine he had left and made herself a latte then returned, it was time to face the music. She closed her door, locked it, and got settled in at her desk, expecting the worse.

She opened the text, and began to read,

"Kate,

"Sorry to take so long to answer, well actually to read your letter but I've been busy. Well, that's BS, and we both know it, it's taken me this long to be prepared to deal with it. I've read it, but I'm more confused now than ever. I need time to figure out where I go from here, and I don't know how long it will take, so I won't ask for any specific amount of time.

"Just know that I'm dealing with what you said, trying to believe you, but even you have to admit, it's gonna be hard. You remember some events totally differently than I do, but then I guess, we went into our "partnership" with different attitudes, I was forced on you, and I don't blame you for some of the resentment.

"I promise I will respond to your letter, with more details, I'm just not sure how soon. I'm sorry if this disappoints you, and if you want to move on with your life, then feel free to do so, I know what it's like to wait without knowing if there ever was a glimmer of hope,

Castle."

It wasn't what she wanted, but she breathed a sigh of relief when she re-read the last lines, where he promised to respond to the letter with more details, it was something. Rick, being Rick, of course, gave her the out, even if the last words brought her to tears. Of course, if anyone would know how it felt like when you were hanging on or trying to establish something without one glimmer of hope it would be him, she had made sure of that.

She sipped her latte, it wasn't even close to being as good as the ones Rick had made her, but well, at least he hadn't dismissed her, YET.

XxX

RCE West Coast Headquarters

Long Valley Road, Hidden Hills, CA 91302

Same Time Frame

Rick had felt a little better by sending the text, although he knew it wasn't a solution, just a reprieve before he would have to make up his mind on the long-term solution. He was juggling many balls in the air at the same time now, he had just finished the fourth Nikki Heat Book, he was going to surprise Gina, at the next production meeting.

She would be leaving next week to oversee the production and release of Naked Heat that Roy was already working on the screenplay. She promised to keep his activities to a minimum, even asking if he wanted to use Los Angeles for the book launch, rather than New York as was the custom.

He had to admit it was tempting, BUT he also knew he needed to see his daughter, she certainly wasn't his little girl anymore. He knew that all too soon, she would be on her own life course, and all he could do then was cheer her on, or pick up the pieces, everyone had to go through life their own way. He paused, then said,

"Genes, thanks I know you're doing everything you can to take the load off of me, but we better stick to New York. I don't know how much longer Alexis will even care enough to follow her old man; I mean who can blame her she's had this practically all of her life." He said, a little wistfully,

Gina crossed the room, wrapped her arms around him, "Hey, if they had a Dad's Hall of Fame you would be the first inducted. Rick, we both messed up, and well, lines were crossed, but I know your little girl will always be just that, your little girl. Sure, she's going to give you grief about it, but sweetie, she loves you, more than any girl I've ever seen love their father."

"Thanks, Genes, I know what you mean, I've thought often why did we mess up so badly, it's really terrible when not only us but four professionals as well tell us, NEVER get into a relationship again. I love you, you love me, I know that but past that, I just don't know, God I wish I had known." He said sadly,

She kissed him sweetly and tenderly, "Rick if you really look you know why, you and Kate, that's what supposed to be, and no matter how much I want to change it, I can't. As crazy as she makes you, she can also bring out the side of you I haven't seen since when you and I were just starting to date before I made the biggest mistake of m"

Rick pulled her to him, returned the sweet kiss, "Shh, no sense reliving it, I know you don't want to, and really now it doesn't hurt so much anymore, not since you've tried to make up for everything." He locked on her eyes, and gently wiped away a tear from each eye,

"I don't want to pry, well I do, but did you let her know you read her letter, I mean Rick, you did read it didn't you?" she asked, still locked on his eyes, watching the hurt fill the blue orbits, she wished for a moment she hadn't asked.

"Yeah, I read it, and Genes, I'm more confused now than ever. I didn't know what to say so I texted her back an apology for taking so long, and that I was working on the proper response. I was honest, I didn't know how much time I was going to need, and if she wanted to move on, I would understand. I mean what else could I say, it was the truth," Rick said, in his pleading voice,

Gina pulled him in tighter, his head now laying on her shoulder "Shh, shh, you're telling her the truth Rick, that's all you can do. You're not leading her on, and frankly, you didn't get this fucked up overnight, and it's going to take twice as long for you to find what direction you want to go, only you know that.

"Hey how about coming back to New York with me, we can spend a few days in the Hamptons at my place, no one has to know, and I think Dr. Simms would be able to help you. She's the only therapist that you ever trusted, and if you need me, I'll be right outside, what do you say?"

"I don't know Genes, I mean,"

"Rick, I'm worried about you, if you love me, if you ever loved me at all in your life, sweetie come back with me, at least for a few days. Once you see the doctor, then you can surprise Alexis and Martha, it would be a great surprise for them." Gina continued,

Suddenly she was supported by Eva, "Rick, now is the time to get some things done, once Roy sends us the draft, we're going to be having some very long days, so why not?"

"OK, Gina, but call Janice, you know I hate commercial airlines, and also we stay at your house only because I don't want anyone to start snapping pictures and ruin the surprise for Alexis," he said,

She pulled him even tighter kissed him, and just whispered, "Thanks, where would the last place be that anyone would look for you at? Yep, your ex-wife's house" and laughed, she had a point, but Rick wondered if something else was up. His answer came a minute later,

"I called Dr. Simms and you have an appointment in three days, don't be angry, it's only because we care" She cooed, expecting him to get upset,

"You're right Genes, remember when we left her office the last time what she told us?" Rick asked a shocked Gina, still waiting for the explosion,

"She said not to be afraid to take care of each other, even when the other one wouldn't think they needed it, or appreciated it," Gina never let him go, "Rick, is that why you're not upset, you need to talk to her, oh sweetie, you should talk to me about these things.

"I'm sorry to be so pushy, but if something happened to you on my watch, Alexis and Martha both would have my ass." She tried to get a smile from him, he looked so serious, God those eyes, she didn't know how long she could stare into them without doing something, well he might regret.

"No, they wouldn't, they love you, both of them do. Mother didn't speak to me for almost three months after you moved out, convinced I had done something to hurt you," Rick smiled, as he looked down into the eyes of the woman who once held his heart, and his dreams,

"Why didn't you tell her, the good, the bad, and the ugly things I did and said, I mean, Rick there was no reason for you to take all the blame like that" Gina said, blushing with surprise, and a new sense of respect, hell love, for her former husband. Even though it cost him time with his mother, who he absolutely adored, he remained silent about her transgressions.

"Because she loves you, and I would never do anything to rob her and you of that, nothing. I knew I could wear her down, it just took longer than I thought. No harm now, see we're both still loved." Rick smiled, and she couldn't help it, she could only look into those eyes so long. She pulled him into a long slow passionate kiss, not one that said, let's fuck, but the one that said, you have my heart, and will forever.

He wasn't in any hurry to break the kiss, in fact, he returned it, with the slow burn he knew how to do so well. Finally, she broke the kiss and went to wipe it from his lips, but he stopped her, "I'm sorry Rick, I"

"I'm not Genes, you have to know that we're always going to love each other, even Dr. Simms said it was healthy to act as if we loved each other, just don't fall for the trap of passion over the heart.

"You have to know that, well, unless I read that kiss wrong, it was your message telling me you would always have my interests covered, no matter what. You kiss differently when you want me to drag you to the bedroom and have my way with you," he laughed softly, as she blushed, and then replied,

"Well, so do you, but I have to tell you, your secret weapon is and always has been your eyes. The first time I saw you, I wanted to get lost in them, then when we were dating, I never knew where we were at when you looked at me like that" She whispered, kissing him softly before she pulled away,

"Believe me, I know what I'll do if I don't put some space between us, but you're right about the kiss. I will always have your back, so no matter who we're with, they better get used to it." She said with conviction,

"Agreed, there's no rule that ex-spouses have to hate each other, especially when you're part of my family and the best Mom my daughter ever had. You know Alexis considers you her Mom, don't you? She said her mother was in California, her MOM lives about 20 minutes away, and works with her Dad. I overheard her explaining it to one of her friends, as he saw Gina's look of how do you know this?" Rick said,

A tear came to Gina's eye, "I always thought she hated me, I mean, after we got divorced, it took almost six months before she even called me. Then, well keep this between us, I've received a Mother's Day Card from her since that time." Gina said softly,

"Gina, she went to therapy, and please don't say anything, but she was feeling guilty about not talking to her Mom, but in her mind, that would be disrespectful to her Dad. Her therapist took her time, and finally, she came around to realize that she didn't need to make a choice, she could love us both. I guess that's when the calls started." Rick said softly,

"She's a remarkable young lady Rick, now before you see me bawl my eyes out, we need to discuss next week.

"Well, I'm due for a physical and ticker checkup with Dr. Warner, and I've been getting some gas pains the last few times I ate spicy foods. It's nothing, but he told me to be sure to see him the next time I was in New York. Can you make an appointment for me, I think the name"

"Of course, I will, WHY didn't you tell me about those pains, Rick? You can't keep doing that? What the hell would we all do if something happened to you?" Gina was fighting back tears, and she was visibly shaken,

"The name you used love was Roger Richards, I thought it was one of your better moves considering you were in the grasps of a full-blown heart attack. I'll make the appointment right away, you start packing we're leaving tomorrow, Janice already filed the flight plan." As she kissed him one last time and hurried to her new office, wiping her eyes when she thought he didn't see,

TBC