Chapter 29

Shikamaru can't sleep. The room feels unfamiliar but he has been to a lot of unfamiliar rooms and it never bothered him before but then Temari is never just across from his room.

And the fact about Tsunade.

Shikamaru turns on his side, almost tempted to punch the pillow when he hears a clicking sound. Turning his eyes towards the faint noise, he sees Temari cautiously opening the door then closing it after she enters.

Shikamaru pretends to be sleeping.

"Ass, I know you're awake," Temari quietly remarks.

"Tch, what do you want?" Shikamaru asks, switching on the lamp beside his bed.

A heavy silence falls on the room. Shikamaru feels uncomfortable lying on the bed with Temari staring at him. He positions himself to sit at the edge of the bed, facing his visitor, waiting for her reply.

"Why did you return here?" Temari hisses. "Why do you have to return to remind me of your existence?"

Shikamaru just looks at her. "Does my existence bother you that much that you need to visit my room in the middle of the night?"

"Yes," Temari answers. "Your existence is the worst thing that ever happened to me!"

"Tch." Shikamaru shrugs, letting the hurtful words do their damage without it being noticed by the kunoichi.

"If you remember; you told me this is my home," Temari challenges, temper being held in a tight rein. "Did you change your mind and want it back?"

"No," Shikamaru replies bluntly.

"Then why are you here?" Temari makes an effort to lower her voice. She doesn't want her parents, especially Shikaku, to know of this conversation. Her parents' room may be on the other end of this large sprawling house to give them privacy as she was growing up but she's still concerned that there's a small possibility they might hear.

Shikamaru just continues to stare, eyes emotionally blank.

"Answer me, you ass!" Temari bites the words out.

"You would not want to hear the answer," Shikamaru speaks in a monotone.

"What? That you regret sending me away? That if you have to do it again you would tell me how you despised your life there. How you hate me for living what is supposed to have been your life?"

"I don't hate you, Temari."

"You say that because you don't really know what you have lost!" Temari snarls, hands trembling.

Shikamaru just continues to observe Temari, her anger, her insecurity, consuming her. He understands the feeling of being confused, of not knowing where you truly belong. But then, unlike Temari, he has been dealing with that kind of emotion since he was young, whenever he failed in his father's expectations of him. Since knowing her, he has grown out of that sentiment. He's not confused. He knows where he wants to belong; it's just that it doesn't mean she wants to belong to him, too. He has lost what little chance he has to be with her when she discovered the truth of their birth. She would always see him as her rival. "I do know what I have lost," Shikamaru admits nonchalantly.

Temari just glowers. "No, you don't."

"There's no point in rehashing the past." Shikamaru seems to just shrug off the situation. He remains sitting on the bed, stoically, with no change in his expression.

Tamari picks up an unused astray from the nearby table and throws it at Shikamaru, wanting to break his complacency. "Come on! Get mad!"

"Tch, you're doing just fine for the both of us." Shikamaru catches the object before it hits him in the face.

Temari proceeds to throw things at him. Exasperated, Shikamaru stands from the bed to dodge the picture frame. With Temari's reflexes, she changes direction and the new projectile, which is a vase this time, hits Shikamaru's chest, drenching him a bit, but before the still unbroken vase reaches the floor and creates a louder crashing sound, Shikamaru grabs it. Shikamaru, after placing the vase behind him on the bedside table, wipes the droplets of water from chest. Suddenly, Temari takes that opportunity to launch herself and attack Shikamaru with her fist, swearing at him through her gritted teeth.

After a short struggle, Shikamaru is able to grasp both of Temari's hands to restrain her, their faces just several inches away from each other. Temari continues to fight Shikamaru's hold on her; she still tries to hurt him with the rest of her body since her hands are restrained at her back.

After awhile, Temari is able to shove Shikamaru away from her. Her anger hasn't abated just yet and she demands, while trying to catch her breath, "What do you want?" Temari gives a bitter laugh. "You want the things I took from you, don't you?"

Shikamaru shakes his head.

"I couldn't give it back!" Temari clenches her hands as she defensively tilts her head to meet Shikamaru's eyes.

"Temari, I really don't—"

"But I could make up for it!" Temari spits, her chest heaving.

Shikamaru is taken aback by Temari's offer of sorts. How does she make up, for what she thinks is my loss? Has she read my mind? The only thing I want from her...hell, is she offering that to me? Because it's the only thing that could make all that happened to me seem worthwhile. Shikamaru's heartbeat accelerates and his breathing becomes shallow only to realize a second later that Temari couldn't be offering her love to him. Temari could never give it to him since she has already given it to someone else. "What could you possibly do to make up for it?" Shikamaru sneers. "Forget offering anything. You don't even possess anything that I could possibly want or need."

Temari glares at Shikamaru, callously she mentions, "I have seen the way you look at me sometimes—you want me."

"I'm a man, Temari. We are made to eye up anything, especially if it is as well endowed as you. That doesn't mean a thing," Shikamaru declares, brusquely lying through his teeth. He couldn't take what was being offered, he would be killing all his chances for Temari's affection if he did. Subsequently, Shikamaru realizes the absurdity of his thoughts and the implication that subconsciously he is still harbouring some hope. He can't help but give a soft, bitter chuckle at his stupidity.

"Ass!" Temari feels a gnawing disappointment. Her real father didn't want her. She should have realized that even Shikamaru didn't. Suddenly, recklessly, wanting to prove that at least Shikamaru is wrong, Temari's hands travel to her obi, untying it. Then she shrugs her shoulders, loosening her dark green yukata with the Nara emblem printed on the back. The yukata gently falls to the floor, assisted by her fingers then, with Shikamaru's eyes following her every move as if mesmerized, she unwraps her chest bindings.

Shikamaru is incapable of coherent thoughts and all the while all he could do is watch. It is like seeing Temari flaunting to him what he knows he couldn't have. Finally, "What the hell are you doing?" Shikamaru splutters. He has to swallow his own saliva; shifting his eyes from Temari's naked body to her eyes.

"I'm not gonna owe you anything. You can do anything to me for as long as you want." Temari has now removed the last piece of her clothing. Standing proudly and giving Shikamaru a full frontal.

Shikamaru's eyes roam Temari's body before returning back up to her defiant face, weighing his options. If he rejects her what would he gain? Her respect? Would that earn her love? Shikamaru gives another self depreciating laugh at the thought. His real mom couldn't even accept him, much less love him, why would Temari be different even without Sasuke? Shikamaru takes a step closer towards Temari, when he is about a foot away he extends his right hand towards her face, caressing her left cheek down to her mouth, using his thumb to brush her lips lightly. Then without closing the remaining distance between them, he brings his head down, angling his head as he grasps the back of Temari's neck to pull her head closer. His mouth locks with Temari's lips softly at first then he demands an opening with his tongue. Temari allows him access and permits his hands to skim down her unclothed body. Stopping at her waist, he wraps both his arms around her pulling her closer towards his chest.

Just for tonight, Shikamaru allows himself to pretend that Temari wants him.

TBC

—o0o—

1 17 .3 11/11

A/N: hmn review, guys?