"Good lord," Quinn whispers, shaking her head as she reads over the statement. "This will turn any judge or jury."
"She's really shaken up," Olivia responds, leaning against the table in the conference room that is empty except for them. "She wants this kept confidential."
"Of course."
"When do we know how William's pleading?" Olivia questions, not breaking eye contact with the lawyer in front of her.
"When we get a date for the hearing. If he pleads guilty, we get a preliminary hearing with just a judge to convince. We'll have testimonies and everything to determine the sentence. If he pleads not guilty, we get a preliminary to present the evidence, then a real court date with a full jury. That will drag on longer, probably over a few days. The jury decides if he's guilty or not, and if he is, he'll be sentenced."
"And if not?" Olivia finally drops her gaze, afraid to know the answer.
"I won't let that happen," Quinn says firmly. Olivia studies her again for a moment before nodding.
"Is that all you need for now? Because I-I have to um, go check on something."
The lawyer narrows her eyes in confusion at the agent, who is still shifting her weight and fidgeting nervously with her hands as she had been for the past half hour.
"That's all for now, but-"
"Thank you," Olivia interrupts, wasting no time in getting out of the conference room. She quickly makes her way through the confusing hospital halls and finds the women's room. With a shaking breath, she pushes open the door and enters. It's empty, and she walks into the furthest stall, shutting the door behind her then sinking to the ground, back against the wall.
Olivia closes her eyes, trying to control her breathing. Before she can stop them, a few tears escape and she stifles a sob. She hates that even all these years later, one man still has such a huge effect on her.
Meanwhile, Meredith lays in bed, zoned out from what's happening in the room around her. Her breathing is shallow, as she's sore from crying so much earlier, the pain from her broken rips never leaving.
"Talk to us Mer, please," Derek pleads from his spot next to her bed. Cristina and Alex are standing next to each other on her other side, all trying to figure out what's happening inside her mind.
It's pretty obvious she has been crying. When Olivia left Meredith's room earlier, they had been the first to rush in. Derek knows how hard it can be for victims to go through their crimes in enough detail for the statements, but he's desperate for Meredith to say anything.
"What is wrong with you?" Meredith finally snaps, sending all three people into shock. "Can't you just leave me the hell alone? I think it's pretty obvious I don't want to talk about what just happened so get out!"
"Mer...you don't..."
"I do mean it, I'm not a child. Get out of my room!" She raises her voice, unable to control her anger. Derek blinks, staring at his maybe-girlfriend. He hasn't ever heard her speak to anyone the way she's speaking to them now before.
Cristina and Alex know better than to argue, so they duck their heads and leave the room.
"What did I just say?" She growls, not looking at Derek who still hasn't moved.
"You can't just kick us all out, you're isolating yourself, Mer. We just want to help you," he tries.
"You want to help me? You should've helped me a week ago when you were a hundred feet away and that man attacked me. Get out." Her tone is cold and emotionless, refusing to look at him still.
Derek doesn't say another word, just turns and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as they're gone, Meredith breathes a sigh of relief before breaking down.
She's tired of crying. She can't seem to control any of her emotions anymore, and it's killing her. Meredith is tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her, she's tired of seeing the people she loves such a mess because of her. She's exhausted, and it's only been three days. She just wants to forget what happened and move on with her life, but her mind is never going to let her.
A pang of guilt hits her as she cries, keeping her sobs quiet and controlled as her torso burns every time she moves. She doesn't recognize herself anymore. All she wants, more than anything, is to go back to the way things were.
But that's never going to happen. So she just has to toughen up, put one foot in front of the other and make it through the day. One day at a time.
Derek shuts the door behind him, with barely a glance at a defeated looking Alex and Cristina sitting in chairs across the hall, he leaves the VIP wing. A whirlwind of emotions are going through him right now, and on his way out of the building he runs into Olivia coming out of the women's room.
For his second-in-command he stops, studying her, his profiling kicking in. It's clear she had just been crying and has a distraught look in her eyes.
"Don't ask." Olivia shuts him down before he can even open his mouth.
"I was gonna ask if you were up for a drink?" Derek replies, not breaking his gaze from her.
She raises an eyebrow and smiles faintly. "At 4:00 in the afternoon? I'm in."
He offers her a tiny smile back, and they silently make their way out of the hospital and across the street to The Emerald City Bar, or Joe's as the Grey-Sloan staff likes to call it. He sits at the bar, Olivia taking a spot next to him.
"Scotch, single malt please." Derek calls to the bartender.
"Bourbon on the rocks." Olivia nods afterwards.
They get their drinks and sit in silence, sipping away, both lost deep in their own thoughts. Until, Derek catches sight of two women across the bar. Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres. He sets his glass down on the counter, causing Olivia to look up at him.
"I'll be right back..." he tells her, crossing the nearly empty bar to the couple sitting and talking quietly in the corner.
"Agent Shepherd, how's Meredith?" Arizona greets as soon as she sees him approach. He just presses his lips together, shakes his head and shrugs.
"You haven't been to see her?" Callie questions.
"I have, but she won't say a thing unless it's yelling at me."
The two women share a glance. "That's to be expected though, isn't it?" Arizona says, as more of a statement than a question.
"You have experience with PTSD I'm sure, Agent." Callie adds.
"It-It's not the same with Meredith...the last thing I said to her before was that I loved her and now she won't even glance at me."
"You can't blame her, Derek." Olivia's sharp voice sounds from behind him, causing Derek to turn. "She was beaten and raped. She's not going to trust anyone for a long time." The agent's eyes darken, lowering her voice.
For a moment, Derek analyzes her body language. She's tense, clearly uncomfortable but passionate about the words she's saying.
"Agent Prenton is right." Callie cuts in softly and Derek sighs, attention back to the surgeons in front of him.
"I saw the way she looked at you, she did love you, and she still does. But right now, that love has been buried under a blanket of darkness that's just torturing her. You can't give up on her, she needs people on her side now more than ever." Olivia says, her gaze no longer focused on the people in front of her, her mind somewhere else.
"I'm not going to give up on her, I promise you that." Derek replies, watching his agent again. She shakes her head, breaking out of her daze and coming back to the present.
"We should go Arizona, we have to pick Sofia up." Callie says, gathering her things. Arizona nods and follows her wife's lead. On their way out, Callie whispers to Derek, "I'll stop by Meredith's room tomorrow to check on her."
"Thank you," Derek responds, going back to his drink at the bar. Olivia follows, sitting and downing the rest of hers in a swift gulp, then motioning for another. "You can talk to me, Olivia," he prompts, pointedly using her first name instead of her last, how he would usually address her.
"What about?" She avoids looking at him, nodding in thanks to the bartender when he places another drink in front of her.
"You're not being yourself."
"Don't profile me, Derek," Olivia scoffs, taking a sip of her drink and swirling it around in her glass.
"Asking if you want to talk isn't profiling."
"It is when you're only asking because picked up on something while you were profiling me."
"You're like a sister to me, Olivia. I care about you. So, you can talk to me."
"I'm fine." She says a little too sharply and a little too quickly. "Let it go."
Derek scowls, knowing something is up but not wanting to push her further.
"Are you gonna go back to the hospital?" She asks, changing the subject.
"If I get as drunk as I plan to, no."
She chuckles, then looks at him. "Drinking isn't going to help anyone, you know."
"I know, I know. Alcohcol doesn't solve my problems, but then again, neither does milk."
At that, Olivia laughs out loud and the two fall into an easy conversation. Olivia stops after her second drink, but Derek keeps going. Before they know it, it's almost 6.
"I should get home to Lindsey, it's been a really long day and all I want right now is my girlfriend." Olivia sighs, gathering her things. "Let's call you a cab. Have anywhere to stay that's not a hundred miles outside the city?"
"Nope." Derek slurs. "And I'm only a little bit drunk, I'll be fine."
Olivia hums disbelivingly, helping him outside and hailing a cab. She gives the driver the address and puts Derek in the back seat, watching them drive off. Suddenly she's alone in the dark outside a bar, and when this thought registers in her mind she gets shivers. She rests a hand at her waist, double checking her weapons as she quickly makes her way back across the street to the hospital parking lot where her car is.
xx
At the hospital, Cristina paces outside Meredith's room, stressfully running her hands through her wild hair.
"For gods sake, sit down!" Alex snaps from his seat, tired of watching her move back and forth. The female surgeon sighs and obeys, dropping into the seat next to him.
"I hate this," she whispers.
"I know, me too."
"Should we order another psych consult?"
"Everyone reacts to stressful situations differently and I think she's had enough shit for today."
"Thats it!" She exclaims, standing up. "I'm going to the research room. I'll find and read every damn thing ever written on Post-traumatic Stress Disorder." She starts down the halls, stopping halfway and staring back at Alex. "You coming?"
He hesitates, looking between the cardio goddess in front of him and the door that leads to the hospitalized general goddess. "I think I'm going to stay, just in case."
"Suit yourself," she shrugs, then continues off.
Alex stays where he's seated, where he's been, unmoving, all day. He's not going to leave Meredith alone, not again.