She didn't dream of her wedding in the way most little girls do. When she did think about it, there was no father to walk her down the aisle and give her away. There was a time when she was younger that she thought her mom might fill the role, but reality took that away too. She had also never pictured getting married in her late 50's. No, nothing was quite how she had envisioned it when she was younger.
Except him.
He was the only constant. While other details had changed, Elliot had been the man at the end of the aisle almost since the day they met. The man she had dreamed about long before she ever had a right to. The man whose last name she was taking in a little more than a month.
They had spent the morning at a local bakery choosing their cake. They had both agreed - chocolate hazelnut. The boys had spent the night with friends, so they had the apartment to themselves. Settling on the couch, she stretched her legs out in front of her with her feet on the coffee table and he laid down with his head in her lap. She ran her fingers lightly over his scalp and he closed his eyes.
"What are you thinking?" She asked. It was a favorite question of theirs. After so many years of ignoring their feelings for one another, it was nice to be able to share them openly. "I was just thinking about that afternoon when we kissed for the first time." She watched a smile spread across his face before he opened his eyes. "And how far we've come since that day." He reached for her left hand and placed it on his chest, right above his heart.
She could feel his heart beat steadily under her palm. She remembered that day well; the butterflies in her stomach, the feeling of his lips against hers, and the rain on the window outside. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but I knew that day that we would be here." Eyes as blue as the ocean stared up at her as she continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "I knew if I ever let myself cross that line with you, there would be no turning back." Her hand drifted across his chest, felt it rise and fall.
"Me too," he said, reaching up to gently wrap his hand around the back of her neck, guiding her lips to his. Truth be told, she still felt butterflies when he kissed her, and she hoped that would never change.
The cake tasting was the first of three weekends that revolved around wedding planning. After a relatively quiet week at work, another Saturday morning found them all sleeping in. He knew he needed to get up, get the boys up, and meet the tailor for their suit fittings, but he couldn't seem to pry himself away from her. She was still asleep, her head on his shoulder and her arm resting across his chest. A late morning like this was a rarity for the two of them, so he lay still and drank in the feeling of her.
The scent of his body wash was the first thing that registered in her brain as she awoke. She was nestled into his arm, surrounded by notes of sandalwood, eucalyptus, and him. The hand resting on his chest began to move over the broad expanse of his torso. "Good morning," he said, his voice still raspy with sleep. She stretched, covering more of his body with hers and leaning up to kiss his jaw. "What time is it?" she asked, noticing the sunlight streaming through the window. "Nine," he replied. "I didn't have the heart to wake you. Now that you're up though, I should probably get the boys moving. Our appointment is at 10:00." He leaned over and kissed her lips softly. "And I think you have an appointment as well…" he smiled against her mouth before kissing her one more time.
"Mmmhmm…" she hummed, running her left hand down his arm to his hand and interlacing her fingers in his. Her final dress fitting was today, and she was excited to check another box off the list. "Can't wait for you to see it." He brushed his lips against her forehead, breathing her in. "I can't wait to see you in it...and out of it," he added, smiling as he ran his hand up her thigh. "Don't start something we don't have time to finish, Stabler," she sighed. Kissing him once more, she rolled out of bed and toward the bathroom to get ready.
Two hours later, Elliot and the boys were finishing up their appointment. They were each wearing a navy blue suit complimented by a burgundy tie and in Elliot's case, a vest. He stood in front of the mirror thinking about Liv standing next to him as the tailor checked the fit one last time. Glancing behind him, Eli and Noah were already fitted and waiting patiently. "Looks good, Mr. Stabler," the tailor finally said, stepping back and letting the boys join him on either side. "Suits aren't the most comfortable things in the world, but we do look good," said Eli with a grin. "Yes we do," he said, straightening his tie before turning his attention to Noah. "What do you think, Noah?" Quietly, Noah studied their reflections. "I was just trying to imagine how beautiful Mom will look standing next to us."
"That's exactly what I was doing a minute ago, buddy."
Meanwhile, uptown Liv stood in the dressing room while an associate helped her into the simple white gown. His daughters had come along to help her choose it months ago, but this afternoon it would just be Kathleen and her. Taking a deep breath, she looked in the mirror and waited a few seconds before exhaling. Then she stepped out into the viewing area where Kathleen was waiting. She met his daughter's eyes and smiled. "Liv...you look stunning," she said with tears in her eyes, which matched her father's completely. Seeing Kathleen so emotional brought tears to her own eyes. "Do you think your dad will like it?" she asked. Kathleen's smile lit up her whole face. "He will love it," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around her future step mother.
That night as they lay in bed, she asked him how the day had gone. "It went well," he responded. "The boys were patient and we got everything done. I know how you love to check things off the list, so consider the suits checked." He grinned, knowing the lists kept her sane, but he also couldn't resist teasing her about them when the opportunity presented itself. "How did your dress fitting go?" She rolled from her back to her side to face him. "Perfect. It still doesn't feel real though. I was standing in front of the mirror today imagining you next to me and it felt like a dream." He ran his hand along her arm, smiling at the thought of them both looking in a mirror imagining the other. It was so typical of the connection they shared. "I was doing the same thing...imagining you next to me." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger, cupping her cheek gently. "I like having you next to me," he whispered. She turned slightly toward his hand, kissing his palm before turning back toward him. "Next to you has always been and will always be my favorite place to be." She scooted closer and he wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly as they drifted off to sleep.
With two more weeks to go before the wedding and this being their last Saturday finalizing the details, she was excited but exhausted. Their last appointment was with their wedding planner at the venue they had chosen - a quaint vineyard in the same sleepy beach town where he had proposed. They had to be up early to make it to their 9:00 appointment, so the boys had stayed with Dickie the night before.
He stumbled into the kitchen, heading in the direction of the coffee he smelled brewing. She was standing at the counter, patiently waiting for the last few drops to stop before she poured them both a cup. "Definitely going to need that this morning," he said groggily as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Just think, we check off the last boxes this morning, and then we have a couple of weeks to just relax," she said, sounding almost as sleepy as he did. Handing him a cup and taking her own, they began going about their morning, grabbing a quick bite for breakfast and getting ready for the two hour drive out of town.
"You don't think people will mind driving this far do you?" she asked as they left the city. He looked at her and smiled. This woman...always worried about everyone else. "I think if they do, they should probably keep it to themselves. This is our wedding. We deserved to say 'I do' wherever the hell we want, Liv."
She looked at him seriously. "Say that again," she said. "Which part?" he asked, but when their eyes met, he knew. "I do," he said, his eyes glancing between the road and her. "I have, and I do, and I will, Liv," he replied. She grabbed his hand, her fingers filling the spaces between his. "I can't wait to marry you, Stabler," she said playfully. "That's good, because I can't wait either, Benson."
They pulled into the vineyard with 5 minutes to spare. He held out his arm and she took it as they walked toward the venue - a large, modern Adirondack style lodge. She was struck again by the beauty of this place, both the town and the vineyard. He held the door open and placed his hand on her back as she stepped inside. She loved when he did that, a gentle reminder that he was there.
Their wedding planner, Jeanine, rushed over to greet them. She was a whirlwind of energy, but she had been such a huge help planning the ceremony. "Good morning! Right on time! Let's get started. Have a seat." She led them to a table with various place settings, centerpieces, and a notebook. Elliot smiled at Olivia, knowing Jeanine's perpetual energy would keep them on their toes for this appointment.
"Ok, I know you've planned for navy blue suits and dresses with burgundy ties. Here's what I'm thinking for the centerpieces." This was the conversation for the next hour. Place settings were chosen, centerpieces were arranged, and they went over the seating arrangement one last time. Despite the size of the lodge, the wedding would be relatively small - just their families and close friends. "Ok, the last thing we need to discuss is the ceremony. Who will be in the wedding party?" Elliot answered for both of them. "My two sons and her son are my groomsmen, and my three daughters are her bridesmaids." They had discussed their wedding party quite a bit in the beginning, but they kept coming back to the kids. They were all entering this new chapter together, so it was the only thing that made sense to them. "Does it matter who walks with who?" Olivia took this one. "Dickie and Kathleen will be first, then Eli and Maureen, and then Noah and Elizabeth." "Great!" Jeanine exclaimed. "One less detail for me to figure out! And Olivia, will your father be walking you down the aisle?"
He felt her tense beside him and he quietly put his hand on her leg, giving her a gentle squeeze to let her know he was right beside her. She had always shouldered the burden of the truth of her father and the way it affected her mother with a quiet resolve to right the wrongs of the past. It's how she ended up in the SVU to begin with. But though he would give anything to take that pain away from her, he was also aware that without it they might not be sitting here today.
"No, he won't. Ummmmm, do I need someone to walk me down the aisle? I mean, I don't really need someone to 'give me away' at this point in my life." She looked at him, seeking his opinion on the matter. "I think you should do what makes you comfortable. As long as you're walking down the aisle to me, nothing else matters, Liv." Jeanine listened, a sugary smile plastered across her face. "Well aren't you two just the cutest! In that case I think we are all set! Feel free to have a look around. I'm going to get back to work!"
"Well, I guess now all we have to do is show up," he said standing, holding his hand out for her to take. Placing her hand in his, she stood and he pulled her close. There was light music coming from speakers above and she began to sway. "One dance before we go?" she asked. He smiled, taking the lead as he moved them across the floor. She didn't need anyone else with her at the beginning of the aisle as long as he was at the end of it.
He had other ideas though, and he hoped it wouldn't upset her. Before they left, they each stopped at the restroom knowing it was a 2 hour drive back. Out of her view, he sent a quick text to Jeanine.
Olivia will have someone to walk her down the aisle. She just doesn't know it yet. Please don't say anything. - Elliot
He hit send and prayed he wasn't making a mistake.