There will be a few scenes in this story that are a bit steamy. Enjoy this chapter if you will, or skip if not your thing!
Karigan took one look at the guests lined up in the hall pews and immediately stood to the side. She considered her options. The hall was packed to the brim with anyone who could possibly conceive themselves important in Sacoridia. Despite the impending threat of war – raids had started in earnest along the borders – the royal heir presentation and naming was a big deal and no one wanted to miss such an occasion. Karigan liked children. Karigan liked babies. It's just I do not, she thought grimly, surprising herself with her vehemence and frankness, want to like his babies. The babies he had given another woman. Her stomach was gripped with anxiety and she took another look down the long row of seats.
"I can't do this," she murmured softly to herself. Turning, she walked straight back out of the suffocating entrance and walked towards the kitchen gardens and their fresh, herby smell. She immediately felt better and paced the creamy gravel paths, considering her options.
At the end of the day, no one would notice if she wasn't at the ceremony and she calculated that would be the worst part of the celebrations. She would have to look at the happy family for some time. Everyone would be too busy paying attention to the rituals to notice if she was there or not. Ignoring the fact she was too unimportant to be noticed; after all she had been lucky enough not to be invited to sit in the first 10 pews. However if she slipped into the celebration slightly after it started she could miss the gushing whilst also appearing to have been their supporting her monarchs in an official capacity. Yes, that would work.
She wandered through the manicured patch into the less tamed garden beyond, biding her time and enjoying the fresh air until the city bells clanged, announcing the naming of the royal babies was formally complete and to be joyously celebrated by the city folk. She was surprised both by how far she had walked and how, well, well she felt. It was the first time in a very long time that her pain was only moderate in a walk of a few hundred yards. Maybe she was feeling some slight improvement. She felt hopeful although clamped down on the immediate images that flooded her mind of joining her fellow riders in the upcoming battles. Don't get ahead of yourself, just because you managed to walk a path or two, she warned her ever hopeful mind.
The heat did fatigue her somewhat after her exertion so she slowed her pace to head towards the ballroom. It was well timed; as she climbed the outside steps and slipped into the party via the balcony, she noted with satisfaction that most of the initial excitement and noise had died down as she'd predicted. She spotted Laren and Mara near the side and grabbed them both a glass of wine before joining them. Laren smiled her thanks and Mara gave her a sidelong glance. Karigan ignored her.
The three ladies chatted for a while before Karigan noticed an old merchant friend of her fathers in a group near to them.
"Would you excuse me Colonel? I have just spotted an old family friend I would very much like to see."
"Of course Karigan," Laren replied with a smile. "It's not often one of us gets the opportunity to see someone that reminds us of home. Take your time."
Karigan smiled and nodded, mulling over Laren's words as she excused herself and gingerly walked through the crowd towards the other group. Sometimes, she thought Laren said things that were pretty obvious and in the last couple of years Karigan had begun to suspect Laren was coaching her. She tucked that thought away for later.
She smiled broadly as a gentleman's eyes fell on her and his face lit up.
"Why, is that young Karigan I see?!"
She nodded happily. "Good evening Brice, how are you? It's been a long time."
For a sleeting second Karigan experienced a moment of panic as she realised that he might expect her to hug him. Oh gods, how would she recover from the pain? However with relief she noticed that her role within the castle must have had an effect on him, for he held out his hand and she shook it gladly, relief washing over her.
"It certainly has, lass. I just met with your father a couple of weeks ago in fact and you will be happy to know that he looks to be in fine spirits. We did a deal for sea furs from the Cloud Island clans. Damn merchant drove a hard bargain." He winked at her.
Karigan's smile was infused with pleasure at the mention of her father.
"I am glad you found him looking so well, I have not seen him in what feels like an age." Her face grew stern. "As to your other charge sir, a fur is a fur. I'm sure my father didn't pay a copper more than what they were worth. If I remember correctly, you still owe him from that time in Barlow?"
Brice threw his head back and roared with laughter. "I can see why he's so proud of you. You're as bad as him!"
Karigan's pretend expression of sobriety melted away and the two of them continued to joke, gossip and swap news. Brice was an old trading partner of her fathers and ever since she was little she had loved to talk whenever she saw him in the summer trading season. He had always taken time to talk to her even when she was a little girl. He would let her sit on his knee at the dinner table, bring her chocolates, tell her funny stories and as she grew up, shared tales of his exploits and ideas. He was warm and caring, straight laced and humorous, and a joy to be around. For a second she forgot about her back, about her eye patch, and was just, well, Karigan G'ladheon again.
Karigan was listening intently to his discussion on the current export politics of the Cloud Island trading circuit when she noticed something unusual out of the corner of her eye. Someone was cutting through the crowd and angling towards them. Without realising she subtly shifted her stance toward the opening and stabilised her legs. After a few seconds the patterned movement was complete and a servant smartly tapped her arm for her attention.
"Excuse me Sir Rider, His Majesty has requested your presence as soon as is convenient on the outside balcony."
Karigan stared at the servant as he bowed.
"Of course," she replied hesitatingly. He nodded and vanished.
She looked back at Brice, whose eyebrows were raised.
"Well off you go lassie, what are you waiting for? You can't keep our king waiting. I wonder what he wants with you?"
Karigan winced slightly at the phrasing of his last sentence. If only you knew the half of it, she thought to herself, feeling apprehensive.
She shook Brice's hand again and promised to see him again later that evening. She turned and took a deep breath, exhaling as she identified a path through the crowd with minimal jostling. Finally she made it to the terrace and walked through to see the king. She stopped at the sight in front of her.
King Zachary turned to face her, his mouth set in a grim line and his eyes alight with intensity.
"Hello Karigan, thank you for joining us."
Karigan, puzzled by his expression, bowed to her monarch before turning to his guests and bowing again, her face breaking into a smile.
"Lord Somial, it is so wonderful to see you!"
The Elven lord who had cared for her long ago in Kanmorhan Vale nodded gracefully in reply and smiled back.
"Youngling, the stars foretold we would meet again and so it is."
Karigan was entranced by his eyes. They seemed to draw her in, at once both ethereal and penetrating, as if her soul was being combed through, as if he was looking for something. A moment or a year or a lifetime could have passed and she would have stood there as if carved in stone. He blinked and she felt the release of his gaze as almost a physical presence. She felt flustered and her cheeks went slightly red.
"My lords, how may I be of service to you?"
Somial inclined his head towards the king. "We are here to bless the fruits of the union between your earthly sovereigns, and will do so in due course. As you know, children are rare amongst my kin and the Firebrand is fortunate for such a blessing. We place value on the ties we have reforged with your kind and would pass this boon." They both bowed to each other before Somial turned to face Karigan, his face calm although she detected a penetrating quality to his gaze. "However, I am here at the leisure of my liege lord on a second matter that he wishes you to consider. Karigan, we would ask that you travel to the lands of Eletia with my party when we return home. You carry a mantle of suffering, for many reasons. We offer you the hospitality of our lands as a place for you to rest and heal."
Silence fell. Karigan felt weak with astonishment and stared at Somial. No one, in the history of Sacoridia, had ever been offered the knowledge of the homelands of the Eletians much less been an invited guest. She blinked and stared at Somial before glancing at his companions, whom she did not recognize. They looked serene and sincere. They were serious.
"My lord, I cannot even begin to fathom the honour that you have bestowed on me."
Somial smiled and a chime like laughter gently filled the air. "It is a most unusual offer and yet Karigan G'ladheon, you are a most unusual mortal. I do not expect an answer right now. We return to our home when the moonlight embraces the edge of the lake in two nights hence. Once we have bestowed our blessing tonight we will depart, for we have other business that requires our presence. If you accept our invitation, willingly given, then we will wait for you at the lake and begin our journey together in 2 days hence. If you are not there by the time the moon reaches the opposite edge then we will have our answer, but will by no means bear you ill will."
Karigan stared and nodded. Was this a dream?
Somial turned to face Zachary and the mood sobered. "She will be safe," he stated quietly.
Karigan turned to look at the king and realised how much effort he was using to control his expression. To her sensitive eyes he looked tense and energy simmered just below the surface of his countenance. It would be wise for her to walk away so he could diffuse his tension. She cleared her throat.
"My Lord Somial, thank you deeply for your kind offer. I will have my answer for you. Your Majesty, please excuse me whilst you continue the celebrations."
The king nodded absently. "Yes, of course Karigan."
Karigan bowed to both and walked slowly down the stairs that led from the balcony directly to the gardens. She found a bench near the very lake that was to decide her future in two days.
"Wow," she breathed to herself, glancing up at the now empty balcony. The music strummed faintly outside and she could hear that it was now ceremonial rather than festive. The Eletians must have been announced. Wincing, she eased her hands onto her back and tried to warm her sides with her hands to relieve the pressure. She carefully let her hands drop away as the stiffness eased and felt for the bench, starting to drum her fingers absent-mindedly as her mind whirled.
What do I do? She stared at the lake and noticed the moon was beginning to touch the surface of the water. A small thrill raced through her body and excitement began to mount; in two days this very scene could change the course of her life. Imagine visiting the home of Somial, of actually watching them dance amongst moonbeams with her very eyes rather than holding fragments of memory. Hold up, she said to herself sternly. One thing at a time. You know Eletians, well as anyone can. They are mysterious and, and sneaky! She stood up as energy coursed through her. She needed to move and think. Not far from where she sat, she found the white washed stone path that marked the entrance to the royal gardens. She headed towards the Cypress sentinels that guarded the entrance and passed under their shadow and into the moonlit walk. Her nostrils were hit with the scent of the last of the summer roses emitting their delicate fragrance into the warm air. She inhaled deeply and for a moment enjoyed the quiet and romance of such a night.
They are sneaky, carried on her thoughts. They will want something out of this. There will be a plan that I don't know about, and I won't be able to get out if there is a problem. I will have no friends to help me. And I don't really know if I can trust them. What happens if I meet Enver? Will I be in danger? They would betray me in a heartbeat if that was in their interest and you know it. What happens if I never see my father and my aunts again?
She walked slowly on, not seeing the path her feet took. She passed under an old oak tree and frowned absently as the shadow crossed her brow, the fear of being at the mercy of Eletian care a very real one. And yet...
Maybe I need a new beginning and this is it. Her frown deepened. I'm stuck. I can't fight and I'll be dammed if I watch my friends go into battle while I wait in a tent. She shivered at this picture of her helplessness. Plus I will never be of any use, ever again. Face it, the healers can't help me even with their magic. Her thoughts turned bitter although her soliloquy held no malevolence towards Ben and the few other magic healers that the service had called in recent times. Maybe this is a way I can help. I could find out more about them, see if there is a way we can work together more effectively. Maybe they could train our troops. She wandered on and her pace sped up as her thoughts whirled around, settling closer and closer to the real reason she was considering this proposal.
She stopped and took a deep breath. I am too close to him, and it's becoming dangerous. She put her hand on her stomach with sudden weariness, caressing the silk of her dress absently. I don't know how much willpower I have to keep my distance anymore. We both need space. What happens if, when, I get injured in battle? What will he do? She thought back to their time north and the stories Estral had told her about how much he had almost revealed, feeling uneasy. Imagine what would happen if people saw in the centre of the army; it would spread like wild fire. Maybe for that reason alone….
The moon had reached its zenith as it travelled across the brilliant night sky. A perfect night for an Eletian to travel home to a garden lit with moonbeams. For a moment a fragment of a song passed through her memory as her mind tried to remember a night spent healing under Eletian watch. She was spellbound with wonder, and excitement edged forward as the reigning emotion. After a few moments Karigan glanced back towards the castle and realised with surprise that she had been walking for so long that the hall was only dimly lit in the distance. The revellers must have finished for the night. Her hands trailed along the jasmine flowers that wound their blossoms all around the alcove she stood in. Her interruption jostled the blooms and the air was filled with their perfume. She sniffed, enjoying her favourite scent and knowing that it would be some time before she could enjoy such a night as this again. Under the watchful eye of the moon and the flowers she felt feminine and excited, soft and radiant. Before she could walk further, the edge of her gown snagged on one of the vines so she stopped to untangle it before it became too damaged to repair. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she gently wrestled with the thorn. A proper merchant never wasted good quality cloth.
The sound of quick footsteps on gravel alerted her to the presence of another and she removed the last catch before straightening and staring down the path. Her stomach knotted and in a flash her resolve hardened and she made her decision. It's for the best, she thought. For both of us.
She stood to face him, his eyes drilling into hers as he approached. She curtseyed stiffly as he stopped, staying down as long as she could without it seeming awkward. She knew with certainty that royal protocol was the last barrier that kept them at arm's length and on a night like this, in a place like this, with an offer like this, she needed every bit of help she could get.
"Your Majesty," she said softly, trying to sound business-like without drawing attention to their conversation. She was pretty sure they were alone since she had just spent hours walking the paths but you never knew who might be lurking about or canoodling in a shadowed corner on such a sultry night. She nervously adjusted her eye patch. "You caught me just as I was heading back to my quarters. May I assist you with an errand?"
She glanced up with some trepidation, hearing the ridiculousness of her words. What are you saying, she thought with desperation. Look at where you are, what you're wearing. Get out! Think! Much like the other night he stood taut and stared at her, his breathing shallow and his eyes burning. Just being near him….she felt energy blossom its way from her loins to her breasts, and she grasped her fingers behind her back, pinching the flesh of her forearm to calm herself.
"Zachary, I must go with them. Surely you see why I must go," she blurted out suddenly. In the intensity and closeness that enveloped them it was as if they had been transported back north into the bubble of intimacy that they had lived in for a few precious moments.
"No," he said softly, serenely. His lips parted into a small smile as he heard her use his name and stare at him with those strong, earnest, brown eyes, and she could tell he was not thinking soundly. Nothing logical she could say now about how much they could learn about Eletian culture, or how damaging a refusal would be to diplomatic relations, would help at this moment. She knew. He knew. He didn't care.
Her eyes closed as she considered her options. How did she get him to see that there was no other way for them? Zachary watched as she opened her eyes and twitched her mouth in frustration, planting her hands on her hips. Her posture subtly shifted into stubbornness and his heart ached even more. She was so precious to him and each facet of her personality filled him with tenderness as she revealed herself more and more.
"No, I won't let you go." His voice was gravelly and hoarse. His slightly blurry face was as pain filled as her own must be. "Karigan, I can't. I won't."
A pause filled the air with reckoning as the energy of passion and despair surged between them. Zachary breathed heavily. Karigan brushed a wisp of hair from her cheek and licked her lips nervously. He watched her body respond to their desire and the dart of her pink, wet tongue triggered the end of his control. In a moment his arms were around her and his lips were tasting her neck as he left a trail of kisses up her throat. She moaned as the warmth of his body melted against hers, her arms betraying her to snake around his waist. He smelt incredible. He let out a ragged sigh and clasped her to him fiercely before pulling back slightly to cup her face in his hands, asking her to yield to him. Their eyes caught one last time and then his mouth surrendered to hers.
She felt the fine hair of his beard tickle her chin. His kiss was filled with passion and desire and he ate her hungrily. She was lost to sensation and responded with equal ferocity as they frantically touched like reunited lovers who had been separated for months. She sighed and he moaned as they kissed deeply, his stubble scraping her skin, his hands always careful not to touch her back. They slowed their pace and his smooth, warm lips caressed her own with deep tenderness and the delicate way that he glided his tongue around her mouth sent thrills of electricity down her spine. She was all of a suddenly very aware of his hands massaging the small of her back and the hard bulge of his manhood against her vagina. She felt wet and warm at the feeling and desperately wanted him in that moment like she had never wanted anything before. Feeling her arousal he pressed himself into her and felt an incredible pleasure as he watched her pant. She hummed as his lips once again trailed down her neck to press more warm kisses against the edge of her breast. She felt him moan as his fingers gently caressed the smooth skin above her dress line. He wanted more. He wanted all of her.
This sounded the last, distant, coherent feeling in her and she was saved by an inkling of guilt for Estora. With great effort, she lifted his face and kissed him gently on the lips before dropping his hands and cradling them within hers. They stared at each other and their ragged breathing slowed. He came back to the moment before them and rubbed his face with a sigh as his immediate sense of passion faded and depth of their pending separation began to sink in. She cast her hand wearily over the back of her left eye and straightened her eye patch, watching him stare up at the tree that was providing them with privacy, hands on his hips. Karigan discreetly used this moment of distraction to shuffle a touch further away and straighten her wavy hair. The figure he cut was impressive. The castle walls provided a sombre backdrop to his silhouette and after a few minutes he turned to gaze at her with a depth of sadness she had not yet seen in his face. He knows, part of her mind whispered. She felt a welling of grief at the thought of their parting mixed with a small amount of relief that he would allow it.
He closed the gap between them and again cupped her face with one of his hands and grasped her other hand hard, drawing her closer. He stared at her for some moments and drew a deep breath. "Kari, I need you. I need you here. Please don't accept this. It's dangerous and I can't bear the thought of losing you. I love you too much to be parted from you. Don't do this."
She stared at him with shock as he gripped her passionately, imploring her to stay with a final plea and to calm his frantic dread. His words swirled through her brain and her thoughts were instantly transported back to a moment long ago in her past, when she had been granted safe passage in a strange forest and in a moment of rest, a telescope had absorbed her attention with a pair of almond shaped eyes. She shivered involuntarily as this thread of her future came to bear and felt an immense anger that she couldn't be with the man she loved.
"Zachary, I cannot." Karigan's voice rang softly but sharply in the night as her anger and pain transmuted into harshness. "I must go for both of our sakes, and that of Estora's. I have made my decision; will you honour it? Will you let me go?"
He let out a shaky sigh and held her even more tightly before tilting her face upwards and kissing her. It was a kiss of finality, of sorry and understanding, of anger and love. She kissed him right back and poured the depth of her own love and despair into her lips, willing him to understand that this was the biggest sacrifice for her as well. Hot tears dripped onto her face and he shook. Their kissing grew softer and tender and she broke off before she lost her remaining strength. With great effort she removed his arms and stepped back, keeping her eyes on his face. She felt her resolve returning even as he stood there, bereft, his hands stilled in the place where hers had just been entangled with his.
"Zachary. Will you honour my decision?"
Long moments passed and he loosed a shaky breath before smiling at her slightly. "Yes, my love, I will honour your choice if that is what you wish."
She closed her eyes and nodded with finality. It was time to move, away from the place that held the man she so deeply loved, scented with the warmth and perfume of their passion. She walked passed him, stopping to clasp his hand briefly and squeeze it. "I love you too. But it is the right thing for the country, and for us both," she murmured softly.
She walked away quickly before he could grasp her again, knowing deep inside that her resolve would not stand up to another heady encounter. She kept her gaze straight ahead and her ears alert for the sound of gravel moving behind her but he stood still. She did not turn around once and walked quickly all the way back to her quarters. Thank the gods the common area was dark. She half ran, half stumbled into the bathing area, filling up the tub blindly with hot water. She stared blankly out of the frosted window, seeing and hearing nothing. After long moments she turned off the taps and stepped into the tub. As soon as the warm water covered her shoulders she curled her arms around her legs, rested her head on her knees, released her tense stomach muscles and began to sob.