A week later, Quinn paces the living room of Meredith's house, mumbling to herself. Jo is at the hospital working, Meredith sitting in her own chair, leg propped up with a couple of pillows, watching her lawyer intently. She had been to three therapy sessions so far. Well, two. She had flat out refused to go to the first one and it took a lot of convincing from Cristina, Alex, and Derek to get her to go to the next two. Even then, she sat in the room in complete silence, neither she nor Dr. Wyatt saying anything.
Now though, Alex and Cristina are in the kitchen, Derek leaning against the doorway of the living room.
"...which proves that William Dunn is guilty and deserves to be put on death row before he can hurt anyone else." Quinn finishes, stopping her pacing and taking a deep breath. The front door opens, Meredith's gaze snapping to the doorway as she tenses, relaxing when Olivia Prenton walks in.
"Sorry," Olivia says, glancing at Meredith, hanging up her jacket and snapping off her gun holster and setting it on the coffee table next to Derek's- within arm's reach- then sitting comfortably on the couch. "Where are we, Quinn?"
"Glad you finally decided to show up." Quinn retorts, and everyone from the kitchen comes to the living room. "I think I've gotten through everything Annalise could possibly bring upon any of you and found ways to get around it. I talked to our expert witness, Dr. Jennifer Stanley, she is possibly the most boring woman I've ever met and has done absolutely nothing in her life that could be used to discredit her in court. But just in case, I've contacted a second ME. I sent Vanessa digging on William Dunn and Matthew and Mary Trahkcol. I've gotten some stuff here and there, but I'm still waiting on more."
"So in other words, you feel confident?" Olivia asks.
"I do, but not overconfident. The law is a game of chess, figure out your moves, and play your opponent by their strengths and weaknesses. Use loopholes, bend the rules to get what you need. If you say one wrong thing you could lose your entire case." This speech only gets confused looks from the people in the room, so Quinn sighs. "Yes, I feel confident. I've researched Annalise and her coworkers and am figuring out how they like to play, so I can use it to my advantage."
These words get smiles from everyone, a flicker of hope lighting in Meredith's darkness.
"But this is going to last days, isn't it?" Meredith says, more of a statement than a question.
"Yes, I would estimate four, maybe more. Shouldn't go over six though." The lawyer replies. Meredith's face falls and she closes her eyes, imagining the hell it's going to be. "I'm sorry," Quinn apologizes quietly. The blonde only shakes her head in response.
"Um, I've only ever seen the court shows on TV, is this going to be anything like that?" Cristina cuts in.
"You've never been to court?" Derek laughs.
"No! I've never had a malpractice suit and my job isn't to chase down lunatics then sit in court for them all day," the surgeon snaps back.
"Okay, if that's what you think my FBI team does you have got a whole other thing coming."
"Yes, you should be thanking us, if we hadn't caught all the serial killers we have-" Olivia joins in, siding with her boss.
"Thanking you? You seem to have forgotten the time Mer and I saved your ass when you got shot," Cristina spits at Derek.
"Got shot trying to catch a psychopath!" Derek defends himself.
"Keyword: trying."
"Okay, you listen here-" Derek stands from the couch.
"Enough, you all are children." Meredith puts an end to the conversation, for the first time in weeks having a smile on her face. Despite her voice being soft and not commanding whatsoever, all the people in the room fall quiet. "Both jobs save lives every day. How about that?"
They're all looking at Meredith now, seeing her smile making them smile. Olivia breaks first, a round of giggles escaping her. She covers her mouth with a hand, trying to mask it, but her amusement is contagious and soon everyone in the room is laughing, Meredith included. Quinn has no idea what's going on but is also unable to contain her chuckles.
After a good five minutes, they are finally able to control themselves again, and Meredith leans back in her chair, wrapping her arms around her body softly groaning in pain.
Clearly laughing and broken ribs do not mix.
"Sorry," Derek apologizes for her pain, a small smile still on his face. Meredith just waves him off, they all needed to laugh.
It's the afternoon and Quinn had been there all day, mostly talking to Meredith, who is hesitant to testify still. The lawyer gathers her things, bids them all goodbye, and leaves the house. Not long after Meredith shakily stands from her seat, Cristina standing as well as soon as she sees it.
"I need to shower," Meredith says and Cristina frowns. It's not like Meredith needed to shower, in fact, she'd been bathing twice a day almost every day. If it helps her feel better though, Cristina won't argue it. They go upstairs, and Cristina turns the water on warm. When she turns away, she catches sight of Meredith in the mirror turning it up as hot as it goes.
She shrugs it off and leaves her friend in the bathroom alone, though staying within earshot. Downstairs, Alex pulls out a bag of chips from the kitchen and sits on the couch.
"Wanna watch a movie?" He asks the two agents also in the room.
"Lindsey's out of town for a tournament so sure, I've got all night." Olivia agrees, relaxing into her chair.
"What do you have?" Derek glances around the room for the remote.
Alex pulls out a bunch of DVDs, holding them up. "Action?"
"Yes!" Olivia says instantly when she gets a smirk from Derek, she defends herself. "What? Come on Shep, you have to admit those spy movies are so inaccurate it's hilarious."
At this, Derek can't help but nod, because she's right. Alex pops in The Heat. "You two will get a kick out of this one, then," he grumbles.
Settling in on the couch, the movie begins and they steal handfuls of chips from the bag, Olivia already roasting the screen.
Forty-five minutes later, the three of them are so enthralled by this movie, laughing and yelling, that they don't hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Cristina and Meredith appear in the doorway of the living room, the cardio surgeon taking a seat next to Alex, her attention on the TV.
"What are we watching?" She asks, grabbing the chips from Alex.
"Umm, an action movie," Derek responds absentmindedly, his eyes glued to the screen. Meredith stays in the doorway, watching the TV as well. Her wet hair curls over her shoulders and she's wearing baggy sweatpants that just barely fit over her cast and a t-shirt.
They're watching the climax of the movie, the big fight scene, and the female lead is finally facing off against her enemy, a large man. In a matter of seconds, they're fist-fighting, the woman smaller and faster but the man using his brute strength and greater size to his advantage. When the man finally pins her to the wall, Meredith limps into the room.
"Turn this off."
It doesn't take a second for Olivia to process why the blonde surgeon said this, and she instantly switches channels. Derek, however, is not so quick to reach a conclusion.
"What...?" he starts, glancing around for someone to explain. Olivia drops her gaze, and both Alex and Cristina get up and moves to Meredith.
"Mer, look at me." Cristina requests softly. She reaches out a hand, but Meredith flinches away, shaking her head.
"Did you see that?" Meredith whispers.
"Yeah, we did. I'm really sorry you had to see it," Alex answers.
"How can you watch something like that?" Meredith's tone changes to angry, and she looks at her friends. "After what happened...how does it not bother you one bit?"
Neither of them has a response to that, and Derek finally realizes what's going on, so he stands and approaches Meredith as well. She's shaking now, her entire body. Internally, they all kick themselves for not having thought about the content of the movie.
"It's just a movie, it's not real. They're not actually hurting each other," Derek tries.
"I'm not an idiot," She snaps. "I know it's not real. But what happened to me, that was. He's beating her up in the movie, how is that any different from me?"
Again, everyone is speechless. Olivia hasn't moved from her spot on the couch, overwhelmed with guilt. She knows all of her own triggers, but this is all still new for Meredith. When no one responds, Meredith turns, making her way to the office and closing the door behind her. Cristina starts after her, but Olivia stands instead.
"No, let me," the agent offers. Cristina nods hesitantly and Olivia goes to the office door, knocking gently on it. "It's me, can I come in?" When there's no answer, Olivia becomes worried and cracks open the door just enough to see in.
Meredith stands in the corner of the room, arms wrapped tightly around her body, shaking as she stares out the window. Without waiting for permission, Olivia fully enters and shuts the door behind her.
"Meredith?"
She's answered with silence, so the agent moves across the room, around the desk, and closer to Meredith.
"Why?" She cracks suddenly and quietly, not breaking her gaze from out the window. "I-I-I know it's not real. I know that," she shakes her head, her voice completely unsteady. "So why am I like..."
Olivia softens, knowing exactly how she feels. "It triggered you, Meredith. You're having a panic attack."
"No," Meredith says. "No, no, no."
Olivia steps closer, moving in front of Meredith's line of sight out the window so the blonde is forced to look at her. "Yes. Look at me, okay? Just look at me." Olivia gently guides Meredith over to the couch, where they sit. "Breathe."
"I-I can't, I c-can't, Olivia," the blonde's voice is desperate.
"You can. Breathe with me," she demonstrates, exaggerating her own inhale and exhale, trying to get Meredith to do the same. "You can do this, close your eyes, and just breathe."
"No, no I c-can't close my eyes. All I see is-is him. I can't,"
"Okay, that's okay, just focus on me then," Olivia assures her, gently taking one of Meredith's shaking hands and placing it on her wrist, just under the base of her thumb. "Feel my pulse. I'm right here. Focus on me and just keep breathing, okay? Don't think about anything but me."
Meredith nods slightly, the green gaze never leaving blue. Olivia is still demonstrating the controlled breathing, Meredith making her best attempts to copy it. After ten minutes of this, both women in silence, Olivia realizes Meredith is now calm enough to function properly.
"I'm sorry," Meredith's voice is distressed.
"It's okay, it's not your fault."
"Why? Why me? Seven other women died...why am I still alive?"
"...You should talk to Dr. Wyatt about this," Olivia softly suggests, dropping her gaze.
Meredith snorts. "I don't want to tell her anything."
"Meredith," she sighs, "You're alive because you fought like hell to be. I know it's a battle every day, but with time and therapy, it'll get easier. I went for years after..." she trails off.
"Why can't I just talk to you? You already know everything. I-I don't want to have to go through it all again."
"I know, but bottling it all up isn't going to do anyone any good because one day you will snap, and you won't make any progress. Give it a chance."
"Olivia," Meredith's voice breaks.
"I know. I know," she replies gently. Meredith moves in closer, which Olivia takes as permission to wrap her arms around the petite woman comfortingly. "It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay."