A/N- This is dedicated to secretfanficlover. I wrote it for her birthday (2nd October). Hope you like it, Crissie!
DISCLAIMER- Mentions of self-harm (rated 'M' for a reason, you know?)
"This is all your fault! If you had just died then none of us would've died! Teddy would be raised by his parents, not by the old Andromeda. But no! You just had to go and destroy everything! Even after I gave MY LIFE to protect you, you let my gift go in vain! I don't want a son like you!" Lily screamed at Harry.
"Calm down, Lily-pad. He is not worth your trouble. The Dursleys should've beaten you better," James said glaring at Harry.
Suddenly, Lily and James vanished. In their places, Sirius appeared.
"I suffered from Azkaban for more than a decade. I broke out to help you. To make sure that you—Lily and James' last gift—were safe. Me and Remus had that traitor at wand-point. But no! You just had to play saving-people-thing, didn't you?! If we had killed Pettigrew then none of this would've happened! I would be alive! Dumbledore would be alive! Remus and Tonks would be alive! Teddy would be raised by his parents! Percy wouldn't have died!"
A tear fell from Harry's face.
Sirius vanished, only to be replaced by Remus and Tonks.
"I wanted to live!" exclaimed Tonks with tears in her eyes, "I wanted to be like Moody! A star Auror! I wanted to see my son go to Hogwarts! I wanted to be old, respected and loved! You stole everything from me!"
Even the normally calm Remus was glowing with fury.
"Sirius was right! We should've never listened to you! We should've killed Pettigrew at the first chance! Then we would still be alive. Sirius would be alive! Dumbledore would be alive! And, no families would be ripped apart by the war! You really have a flair for dramatics, don't you? You couldn't resist becoming the hero! Even if it meant innocent lives lost!" Remus shouted.
Lily, James, Sirius, Dumbledore, Percy, Collin, Snape and the other unnamed, unknown people who had died in the Battle of Hogwarts appeared before him.
"He deservesss death!" a girl hissed, sounding disturbingly like a certain snake who Neville had killed.
"No! Not death! That would be too lenient! I say torture!" said Snape.
"Yesss! Eternal torture!" the girl hissed happily. You could tell by looking at her eyes that she was insane.
"Eternal torture! Eternal torture!" Everyone started saying it.
They came closer and closer to Harry.
"NO!" Harry shot upwards from his bed. He swore to Merlin that he felt the girl's claws just inches away from his face.
A nightmare. Again.
Harry reached for his bed stand where he kept his wand. He didn't need his glasses anymore. After the war was over, a St. Mungo's Healer recommended a shop that could get his eyes healed permanently with the help of a potion. No one had bothered to tell that little fact to him since they wanted Harry to look more like James. Let's forget the fact that having glasses is a major disadvantage when you are fighting on the front lines of a war.
He grabbed a small blade which he also kept on the bed stand for instances such as these.
He brought the blade to his left wrist and made a not-so-deep cut. He sighed as the pain washed over him and made another cut just above it. Harry watched in fascination as the blood leaked out of the cuts.
There was nothing else which could calm and satisfy him to such an extent.
Of course, he couldn't tell anyone. Ron would be horrified and Hermione would demand Harry to stop it at once and visit a mind Healer. They didn't understand the nightmares that he had to face each night only to wake up and find that reality is not much better either. They didn't understand that he didn't like talking to anyone about himself. They didn't understand that cutting gave him a reprieve from everything. No matter how wrong it is.
"Tempus" he muttered. It was 6:15am. Harry had woken up early, again. The Dursleys had practically drilled him to wake up by 6:00am. He sighed in irritation.
Harry made for the bathroom to clean the cuts, liking the way that it stung when he kept it under water.
He did his morning rituals and then went to the Black Library. He was staying alone in Grimmauld Place which had a vast Library full of the Darkest Artes. So dark, in fact, that even Hermione hadn't picked up a book.
Harry picked up the book which he was reading yesterday, curled up on a comfy couch and began to read.
Occlumency
Occlumency is a very difficult branch of Magick. Learning it takes great patience, skill and determination. It does not simply close thy mind from Legilimens, it unites mind, soul and magick.
I remind thee. It is not for the weak-minded. Seeker, turn away now for if you read further, there would be no going back.
There are three steps to master the Arte of Occlumency.
Step #1: Clear thy thoughts. This is a step which can take days, weeks, months or even years. It depends on thy patience and determination. To do this, ye will need to meditate just before going to bed. Think of nothing. Find a blinding light inside your head. That will be your core. When thee will be able to channel magick through thy core while meditating, the first step will be completed.
Step #2: Now that thee have mastered control over thy magick, ye will need to dig deeper into thy mind. Ye will be encountered with a glowing ball of any color. That will be thy soul. The soul is very complicated. No one can hope to tame the soul. But, with enough practice, you can…
On and on it went. Carefully explaining the process of mastering occlumency. By the end of the book, Harry was spitting mad. The legilimens weren't supposed to use legilimency until after the third step was finished to check the power of the shields!
Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed out deeply.
"MASTER!"
Instantly, Harry had his wand in the direction of the voice. A curse was at the tip of his tongue but then he noticed it was none other than…
"Kreacher?"
"Yes Master," Kreacher bowed so deep that his nose touched the ground, "You asked me to call you when it was time for the Hogwarts Express. It is 11:00am, Master and there are things to do before you leave."
It pleased him that Kreacher could speak normally. After the war was over and everything was settled, Harry sent Kreacher to Hermione to help him learn some proper English. Hermione, as always, had jumped to the task and now, Kreacher could speak flawless English.
Oh right. He had forgotten, hadn't he? Today was the day when he was to go back to Hogwarts for his eighth year-basically, for everyone who had missed their seventh year. Of course, Harry was going. Despite all the killings and battle, Hogwarts was a home to him-his very first home. He wasn't going to move away. Besides, Hermione would have him if he dared not to finish his education.
Harry deeply breathed in and out. Then he said, "Kreacher, could you please prepare me some breakfast?
"Yes, master," and, with another great bow, Kreacher vanished with a 'crack!'
He went to his room, changed into jeans and a full-sleeved shirt (despite the fact that it was hot enough not to wear full-sleeves) and sent all of the necessary things in his trunk (there's a thing called 'magic', you know?). He then went down for breakfast, putting the blade in his jeans' back-pocket.
Kreacher had made the typical British breakfast. It included bacon, sausages, poached eggs, black pudding, baked mushrooms, grilled tomatoes and toast along with black coffee. How he loved coffee…
After his breakfast, Harry grabbed his trunk and wand and Apparated to an unused alley near Kings Cross.
Harry entered the Kings Cross station, searching for Ron and Hermione. It wasn't that hard. Only the Weasleys had such a vibrant shade of red. He grinned as he slipped through crowds towards them.
"Hello!" Harry said cheerily and almost gave Ron, Ginny and Hermione a heart-attack.
"Harry!" Hermione shrieked, throwing her arms around him. "It has been so long since we last met you! How are you doing?!"
Harry was turning blue due to the cutting off of oxygen.
"Jeez, Hermione. Let him breathe," Ron said, laughing as he gently pried off Hermione's hands from Harry.
Harry took huge lungfuls of air. He was sure that if he waited one more minute, he would've died from Asphyxiation. He could almost see his death certificate—
Harry James Potter has died due to Asphyxiation inflicted by his friend Hermione.
Or something like that. He snorted.
"Honestly, Hermione. We meet every Sunday, remember? Mrs. Weasley won't let me stay at Grimmauld for the whole half-an-year," Harry said, hugging her.
"Hey, don't I get a hug?" Ginny pouted.
Harry laughed and said, "I fear that I have given that hug to Hermione over here."
"Nooo!" Ginny wailed.
The four of them looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.
"I missed you guys," Harry said. And, he really missed them. They were his first friends and his life felt empty without them. Hermione, Ginny and Ron were like his own siblings.
"We missed you too. Fred and George said that there was no entertainment now that you had decided to hole yourself up in Grimmauld. Can you believe it?" Ron asked in such a way that he couldn't believe it. Fred had survived the war. When Percy saw that the roof was collapsing on top of his brother's head, he threw Fred aside and took the hit, instantly killing him.
"Yeah. I can't believe it either," Harry said. He then noticed the time on the clock-11:25am.
"C'mon guys. We need to move if we want to get on the Hogwarts Express," Harry said.
They didn't bother to drop the notice-me-not charms which Ron had cleverly put up around them when Hermione decided to suffocate him. Besides, if they went to Platform 9 ¾, it would be worse. Everyone would be asking them stupid questions (if "What type of ink do you write with?" is not a stupid question, then you should seriously consider going to a mind Healer) and trailing after them.
All of them took huge, calming breaths and ran straight towards the wall between Platforms 9 and 10. They didn't crash, instead they found themselves on Platform 9 ¾. It was just as they remembered it. With the parents fussing over their children, reminding them to behave. Owls, cats and toads creating a racket. The Hogwarts Express' engine's steam blowing. An announcer trying to warn them to get on the Express over the noise. Some of the children wearing wizarding robes, some school robes, some casual muggle wear and some in their Quidditch robes.
Harry thought he saw a flash of blonde hair and gray eyes. Harry's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't realize that Draco Malfoy would also be going to Hogwarts. Then he internally kicked himself.
Of course Malfoy would be going, he thought. After all, he didn't finish his seventh year at Hogwarts.
Harry wanted to go to Malfoy and apologize for his father's imprisonment in Azkaban, for which Harry and Ginny were largely responsible.
However, before he could go towards Malfoy, Ron had grabbed his shoulder and shouted to him over the noise, "You can get many chances to apologize to him. If we don't get on right now, then the Hogwarts Express will leave without us and I don't want a repeat of second year!"
Right. First get to Hogwarts Express. Then apologize to Malfoy.
"Yeah. Let's go," Harry said though he was unsure if Ron had heard him over all the noise.
Somehow, inexplicably, impossibly, Harry and Ron got on the Hogwarts Express just on time. Meaning, the moment Harry and Ron got on the train, it started moving.
"There you are. What were you two doing? You could've missed the Hogwarts Express," shouted Hermione who was standing at the gate with Ginny, seeing if Harry and Ron would be able to get on the Express or not.
"Sorry. Harry just saw a certain someone and forgot everything else!" Ron said.
Harry blushed then reprimanded himself for blushing. Why was he blushing? He was only going to apologize to Malfoy. Nothing more.
Ginny cocked an eyebrow and said, "Who is that lucky girl?"
After the war, Harry and Ginny decided not to continue their relationship anymore. It would be weird. Both of them agreed and they were still best friends. Actually, Harry recommended Dean to Ginny which the latter denied after two months of dating him.
"Actually," Ron started with an impish grin on his face, "It is a boy."
"Who is it?" Ginny demanded. Hermione's eyebrows were furrowed as if she were thinking deeply.
"It is…"
"I think we should start looking for a compartment," Harry cut in.
"Sure," Ginny grumbled, "Don't tell us anything."
But, they dropped the conversation. After a few minutes, they found an empty compartment. They talked and laughed and played exploding snap and bought sweets and slept…the thing is, they had lots of fun for 9 ½ hours.
"Aaron Richards"
"Gryffindor"
"Abernathy Sophia"
"Hufflepuff"
"Abernathy Sylvia"
"Ravenclaw"
"Acheson Annabelle"
"Hufflepuff"
On and on it went. The familiar call and answer of the sorting ceremony.
Harry wasn't looking at the first years who were getting sorted. Oh no, he was looking for a certain blonde haired, gray eyed person in Slytherin. He found Malfoy looking directly in his eyes. Harry gulped.
"Harry? Harry! Earth to Harry! Harry, are you here?!" Hermione said, shaking his arm.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course I'm here, Hermione!" Harry said, looking at her and pulling down his sleeves. It wouldn't do good for him if they saw his cutting marks.
"I don't know. You looked as if you were a million miles away," Hermione said concernedly.
"I am okay, Herms. Just thinking," Harry said while he thought, Yeah. Thinking about Malfoy.
"Okay… You do know that we are always with you, right? You can say anything to us,"
"Of course I know. I was thinking about the tonnes of homework we will have," Harry said while he thought, Oh, Hermione. If only I could tell it to you.
Hermione laughed and said, "Boys."
"We are your boys, aren't we?" Harry asked, his emerald green eyes twinkling.
"That you are," Hermione agreed.
"Oh, and Harry?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah, Hermione?"
"Don't ever call me Herms. Never again,"
"Sure…Herms,"
"Harry Potter!"
He laughed silently. After a few moments, Hermione joined in.
"Hey, you two. What's going on?" Ginny asked.
"Nothing," they both answered simultaneously.
"Urgh. Why doesn't the Sorting Ceremony finish? I am hungry!" Ron bemoaned.
"Ron, mate, you are always hungry," Harry said.
"Not always," Ron grumbled.
"Just 99.9% of the time?" Hermione teased.
"I am hungry when we aren't in a life-threatening situation…And, I don't consider sitting through the Sorting Ceremony as life-threatening," Ron said.
After a few moments, Hermione dropped the bomb.
"Harry was seeing someone…you know, in that way,"
"What way?" Ron asked, confused.
"Herms!" Harry said at the same time.
Ginny gave a delighted laugh and said, "Who?"
"Herms, one more word…"
"Okay! Okay! I won't say anything!" Hermione said in fits of laughter.
It was then they noticed that practically everyone in the hall was staring at them. Harry thanked his lucky stars that they had the sense to put a Muffliato charm around them so they couldn't hear their exact words. However, Harry was sure that they caught his blush.
"Hey you all! Don't you have nothing to do except staring at us?! Perverts!" Ginny shouted at the silent hall after she took down the Muffliato charm.
Everyone looked thoroughly ashamed and humiliated as they quickly went back to what they were doing. Malfoy secretly gave Harry a wink which caused shivers to run up Harry's spine.
"Ha! That's my sister!" Ron said proudly as he ruffled Ginny's hair.
"Ron! Don't do that!" Ginny said, frowning.
"Ginny is right. Don't they have the sense to give us privacy?" Hermione asked.
Harry rolled his eyes and said, "Apparently not, Herm-"
"I swear if you call me that infernal name one more time, I will make sure that you have no tongue," Hermione growled.
"-ione," Harry squeaked. Sure, he had faced Voldemort, trolls, giants, basilisk, dementors, dragons, angry merpeople and hundreds of death eaters. But, they were no match for an angry Hermione. He seriously feared that girl.
"Good," Hermione said, smiling triumphantly.
Draco watched as Harry-no-Potter walked away to the Gryffindor Tower with his friends. Today, just looking into Potter's eyes gave him goosebumps. In a nice way, not the creepy way.
"Draco? Draco!" Pansy hissed. Draco was barely able to control his irritation even with all the Occlumency training he had had ever since he could understand things. Pansy was so irritating. He could never be more thankful to his mother when she had decided that Draco would not be married to Pansy.
When Pansy heard that, she almost had a heart-attack.
It would be brilliant if she actually has a heart-attack, Draco thought.
She wailed to him for days on end about how she loved him and would do anything for him.
Yeah right, Draco thought with a snort, I will jump off the Astronomy Tower if she didn't want to marry me because of the status and the Malfoy Family wealth she would get by becoming my wife.
"What is it, Pansy?" he asked snappishly.
"Nothing Draco," she simpered.
Merlin, he hated people who simpered.
"You were staring at nothing for such a long time. I grew worried," she said.
"What I do is none of your business. So, please. Go away, Pansy," he said.
Pansy looked like she would dissolve into tears then and there.
So weak, his mind whispered.
"Pansy, go away," Daphne said coldly.
Daphne Greengrass. The Slytherin Ice Queen. Known for dating multiple people and breaking their hearts. A brilliant witch, both academically and in real life. Stands up for herself when needed, otherwise, lets others do the job. Perfect Heiress.
Pansy walked away as fast as she could without making it seem like she was running.
"Thanks, Daph," he said.
Also, Draco's childhood friend. Actually, someone who unofficially adopted him. Someone who cares for him aside from his mother.
Daphne gave him a small smile and said, "No problem, Draco. Now, let's go to the common room, shall we?"
"You go. I am coming in a second,"
As Daphne went away, Blaise said, "So? I never knew you were gay."
Draco stiffened. He had found out about his…preference in his fifth year. Although the wizarding world didn't despise people who were homosexuals, the Heirs and Heiresses of Noble and Ancient Lines were supposed to marry a person of the opposite gender.
"What?" Draco said. How did he find out? He was close to hyperventilating.
Blaise simply laughed and said, "The way you were looking at Potter…well, that really confirmed it."
"I was not looking at Potter in whatever way you are saying!" Draco shouted.
"Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Blaise shrugged.
"I wasn't!" he said although it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
They both started walking towards the common room.
"You know what, Draco?" Blaise asked, his eyes twinkling.
"What?" he said warily, knowing that Blaise's twinkling eyes meant no good.
"If you want to date Potter, you have my blessing," Blaise said hurriedly and proceeded to run towards the common room.
"BLAISE ZABINI!" Draco screamed after him as he understood the meaning behind Blaise's words.
"Now class," Slughorn boomed as he entered the Potions classroom, "For the rest of the year, you will be paired with another person. You both will work together in the classroom and will have a project to do outside the classroom. Beware, the project is three-fifths of your grade so, for those people who want to make a future with a career that includes potions, you might want to do this with utmost sincerity. Also, I will know if you made your partner do all the work, so don't try that."
Ernie looked a bit disappointed.
"Now, I have already chosen the pairs."
Cue groans from the people who really wanted to work with their friends.
"They are—
Ron Weasley with Blaise Zabini
Hermione Granger with Daphne Greengrass
Harry Potter with Draco Malfoy"
Harry didn't bother to listen after that.
"Good luck with the ferret, mate," Ron whispered to Harry as the three of them made their way to their partners.
Harry frowned and said, "Don't call him a ferret, Ron."
Ron gave Harry a weird look and said, "Since when did you stand up for Malfoy?"
It was a legitimate question. Even after Harry saved Malfoy from the fire, they weren't friends. Hell! They didn't even speak to each other unless absolutely necessary.
Even then, the question rubbed him the wrong way and Harry curtly replied, "Since today."
Before Ron could say anything else, Harry had walked straight to Malfoy's table.
"Hello, Malfoy,"
"Hello, Potter,"
"Listen, I am very sorry for your father's imprisonment-" before Harry could complete his sentence, Draco spoke up.
He said, "No, thank you. My father… Well, he wasn't the most loving of fathers. He only wanted me to be the perfect Heir and later, a brilliant Death-Eater. Me and my mother never liked him but we had to put up that front because he was the Lord of the House and we had to follow him."
Harry was perplexed as he heard it.
"Why didn't your mother get a divorce if she didn't like him?" he asked.
"What is a divorce?" Draco's eyebrows were furrowed and Harry was sure that he had never heard of the term.
"It is a way to dissolve a marriage between two people. It is used a lot in the muggle world," Harry said.
"Oh," now Draco was perplexed.
Maybe muggles aren't that bad, he thought. Of course, he would rather kill himself before admitting it to someone.
"Now, everyone will grab a potion from the cupboard-" Slughorn indicated a cupboard to his left- "and, within the course of a year, will try to figure out what the potion is, what it does, which ingredients it is made of and the uses of the ingredients in that potion. These are not ordinary potions. They are very rare so, if you break a vial, you will not be given another and both you and your partner will receive a zero. Do I make it clear?"
After a chorus of 'yes sir', Slughorn let the students (one from each pair) go to the cupboard and grab a potion.
Harry grabbed an acid-yellow looking potion with a sulphurous smell which he vowed to never drink.
"Watcha think? Funny looking enough?" Harry asked as he set the potion between their table.
Malfoy grunted and said, "We are not looking for 'funny looking' potions, we are looking for a potion which I could have a faint hope of identifying."
"Well, bad for you. All the other potions are already taken," Harry said.
Slughorn then ordered everyone to put away their potions and to brew the Draught of Living Death without seeing the book. Harry grinned. The recipe of the potion from Snape's book was imprinted in his head—maybe because it was the first potion which he made perfectly.
After 90 minutes of Potions (it was a double period), as they were cleaning their stations, Malfoy said, "Shall we meet at the Library today?"
It took Harry all of five seconds to figure out that Malfoy was talking about their project.
"Sure. Since we don't have Quidditch, Hermione is going to keep me in the Tower until I finish my homework. So…five?"
"Five is fine by me," Draco said.
"So, did Malfoy treat you fine?" with Hermione, there was no beating around the bush. She went straight for the kill.
"What do you mean by 'did Malfoy treat you fine'? Of course he did. Otherwise, he would have to answer Slughorn. Oh and I have a meeting with him at five. You know, for the project," Harry said.
"Oh. I thought that Malfoy would be resentful because you played a major role in putting his father in Azkaban. That's why I asked," Hermione said.
"Oh, yeah. I thought that too," Harry said. He didn't mention what Malfoy said as he believed that Malfoy told that to him in the strictest confidence he wasn't willing to break.
"Did Greengrass treat you alright?" Harry asked, effectively steering the conversation from dangerous waters.
"Oh, yes. She was lovely. A bit cold and aloof on the exterior but that was okay once we started talking about Potions… "
On and on she went, carefully explaining every little detail she remembered.
As Hermione was rambling about the project, Ron leaned towards Harry and said, "The first day at school and you have secured yourself a date, huh?"
Harry's eyes widened like a deer caught in the headlights.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.
Ron snorted and said, "I may not be as smart as Hermione is but even I can tell that you have a crush on Malfoy."
"I don't," Harry said, although it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
"Sure mate," and Ron again gave him that weird look.
The teachers had given them tonnes of homework, but Harry was able to complete them by five.
As it became 4:50pm, Harry said, "I should go now, Ron."
Hermione had already gone to the Library with Daphne.
"Bye mate. Try not to get into fights," Ron said.
Harry snorted and said, "You were the person who made me participate in my first ever wizarding duel without my consent."
Ron just grinned.
"Hello," Harry said to Malfoy as he sat beside him in a secluded corner in the library.
"I thought you wouldn't be able to make it," Malfoy replied as he made space for Harry.
"I thought that too, with the humongous amounts of homework they gave us but I managed to finish it," Harry said.
"I see,"
Internally, Draco was thinking, Why am I telling him anything?! Let's just get on with the project!
Unknown to him, Harry was also thinking the same thing.
"So…the potion?" Harry asked as he motioned towards Draco who had taken the potion, proclaiming that Harry was too careless and violent to handle the potion.
"Oh, yes. From what I have been able to figure out, it might not be a poison," Draco said as he took out the potion and his notes. Harry was actually able to understand some things since Hermione had given him a crash course on everything in his NEWTs. Hey, having a Dark Lord calling for your blood does shift your priorities.
Still, Harry was not, by any means or form, a talented potioneer. He was decent because of the knowledge he gained from Snape's book and Hermione.
"How? I mean, the smell and the color heavily indicate towards poison," Harry pointed out.
"Yes, but some of the factors are not meeting correctly. A poison with a sulphurous smell is highly destructive and would've destroyed the vial through the unbreakable charms unless it was stored in solid gold. On the other hand, an acidic yellow colored poison-"
"Means that it would stop your heart in an instant. If we mix both of them, it will explode," Harry finished for Malfoy who looked surprised.
"Hey," Harry said, a bit offended, "I do know some things about potions. Especially the ones which can kill you."
"Right. So, that eliminates poison."
"Not necessarily," Harry argued, "It might be some sort of a poison which we don't know about. Slughorn said it was rare, right? Maybe it is some sort of poison imported from some other country?"
Malfoy looked like he was thinking.
He is so cute when he is thinking. His eyebrows furrow, he bites his lips-
Woah there, brain! We ain't gonna go down that path!
Unaware of Harry's internal battle, Malfoy said, "It could be. I only learnt about some of the country's poisons. So, we can rule out India, Saudi Arabia, the United States, the UK (of course) and Egypt."
Seeing Harry's incredulous stare, Draco said self-consciously, "What? My tutor wanted me to know everything, okay?"
Surprised by Malfoy's sudden outburst, Harry said, "No. It is just that, I am surprised that you managed to remember all of the poisons from all of those countries. Those countries make the most and some of the deadliest poisons known to wizard-kind."
Malfoy just shrugged, as if it wasn't such a big deal.
"Okay. So, let's start with France," Harry muttered as he took a book containing detailed descriptions and uses of France's poison. Turns out, aside from perfume, Paris is France's leading producer of poison too.
"So, how did your research with Malfoy go," Hermione asked as he entered the common room. Harry and Draco had only been able to leaf through a quarter of the book. The book was huge. They hoped to find an answer.
Harry figured that there would be no harm in telling Hermione about the progress.
So, he told her, "Our potion is acidic yellow in color with a sulphurous smell. We think it is some sort of poison imported from some other country. Right now, we are searching for France's poison to get a reference. What about you?"
"Our potion is of milky consistency and has a baby pink color with white swirls. We have eliminated poison and are looking into those general everyday-use potions to look for clues," Hermione said.
"Our potion is bright orange in color with a lavender scent. We think that it might be some sort of a daily use potion," Ron said.
"Well…good luck, everyone," Harry said.
"Yeah, we all will need it," Ron said while Hermione simply nodded.
And so it continued day by day. After classes, Harry would somehow finish his homework (and Quidditch practice, if he had any) and go to meet Draco in their corner of the Library. Then, they would spend hours pouring over poisons from different parts of the world. None of them seemed to match.
Every night, he had nightmares. But, somehow, inexplicably, those nightmares now revolved around a certain blonde haired Adonis. Harry used his blade every morning. He didn't remove the scars although that would be safe for him. No, he wanted to see them. Harry was sure that it would sound completely mental to others, but seeing the cuts which he had inflicted were soothing to him, somehow.
"This one is fruitless as well," Draco growled, almost throwing the book across the table.
Harry, watching his antics, said, "That is a really old book. You might not want to damage it, Draco."
Draco looked so surprised that all the anger vanished from his face.
"What? What is it?" Harry asked, feeling self-conscious.
"You called me by my name," Draco breathed out, barely audible.
Harry gulped as he said, "Well, Draco certainly does sound better than Malfoy."
"...Can I call you Harry, then?" he asked.
Harry was so surprised that he couldn't say anything.
Draco, apparently taking that silence as 'no' said, "Oh. Don't worry, it's okay. Really, stupid question…"
"No, no. You can call me Harry," Harry said.
Draco's smile could have blinded the sun.
Harry didn't tell his friends until much later.
Harry and Draco were checking yet another book which yielded no results. They were getting frustrated and tired from all of this.
Suddenly, Draco started speaking, "You know, when I was eight, my father had gone out of the country for a month. Me and mum had spent the entire evening laughing at my antics when I was little. Then, out of nowhere, my father appeared. He was drunk," Draco shivered as if he was reliving it and continued, "He didn't like the fact that me and mum were having fun when he was away. So, he tried to curse me for both of our incompetence. However, mum got in the middle of the curse and blocked it from coming towards me. She started screaming as if she were in unimaginable pain. I still remember it so clearly…my mum's anguished face, my father's drunk but pleased face and my helplessness. I would've given anything to help her. Only until much later did I realize that he had been using an Unforgivable. From that day, I completely lost my trust in him."
And, before Harry could process anything, he started saying, "When a dementor comes near me, I remember the day when Voldemort tried to kill me. I heard my father's screams to take me away, that he could hold Voldemort on his own. Then, Voldemort's high, cold voice whispered 'Avada Kedavra' and I knew he was dead. Then he went upstairs where my mum had kept me in my crib. I still remember her last words to me- 'Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Be safe. Be strong.' Voldemort then entered the room. Did you know that mum was given a chance to move away? But she didn't. She let herself be killed and, by doing that, made a shield of pure love around me which would continue to protect me from the likes of Voldemort till I hit seventeen."
They both looked at each other, surprised. They had never told each other about their private lives. However, in saying all of this, both of them felt much lighter, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from their shoulders.
One day, as Harry returned from yet another research session, he saw Hermione beaming at him.
"What's the good news? Did Ron finally propose?" Harry asked.
Apparently, it was not the case as they both turned bright red.
"Okay, let's just forget about it. What did you want to tell, Hermione?" Harry asked.
Hermione, apparently, forgot about the awkwardness and jumped straight to the point.
"We have made so much progress! We found most of the references from a fertility potion. You know, the type used on Pureblooded barren females?"
At their nods, she continued, "But, that potion's color is navy blue. So, Daphne came up with this brilliant idea that it might be a male fertility potion—"
"Those things exist?" Harry asked, surprised.
"Sure, they do. But, they are very, very hard to come by. Like, almost as hard to find a basilisk in the Scottish Highlands without knowing it's exact location. So, anyway, we went to the Restricted Section—"
"You went to the Restricted Section?!" Ron asked, astonished.
"Of course. We are over seventeen. The Restricted Section is restricted for those under seventeen," Harry said. He should know, after all, they wouldn't get sensitive information such as France's deadliest poison in the normal section of the Library.
"So, anyway we went to the Restricted Section and grabbed a book about male pregnancy. There, the potion was clearly described. It perfectly matches the potion that we have," Hermione announced excitedly.
"Wow, Hermione. That's brilliant progress in about…five months," Harry said, genuinely happy for his friend.
"Yeah it is. But we have much work to do. No one truly knows all the ingredients required for brewing a male fertility potion. We are going to need all the luck and skill we have. But, aside from that, what about your progress, Harry, Ron?"
"Well, we have given up on general potions and are looking for poisons. I have a feeling we are looking in the right direction," Ron said.
"Me and Draco have given up on poisons and are looking for other potions which are not affected by adding color and smell," Harry said.
"Good luck, both of you," Hermione said.
"Merlin knows we need it," Ron grumbled.
Without knowing it, Harry was having less and less nightmares.
Without knowing it, Harry had almost stopped using the blade.
Without knowing it, Harry was moving away from his friends.
Without knowing it, his friends knew everything.
Without knowing it, Harry paid extra attention whenever 'Draco Malfoy' was mentioned.
Without knowing it, Harry was falling in love with Draco.
Their first kiss happened on the Quidditch pitch. It was a Sunday morning. But, it was cold, so no one was there except Harry and Draco.
"There has to be something. Slughorn will not set us a task that is impossible," Draco said.
"It is all my fault. If I only had brought one of the potions which you actually could identify then none of this would've happened," Harry said morosely.
Draco softly grabbed Harry face and pulled it so that Harry was looking him in the eye.
"It's not your fault," Draco said softly, "I bet all the other potions are like this, made to deceive us. It was not your fault. Do you understand Harry?"
Draco looked so…perfect. His normally expressionless gray eyes were bursting with emotions to make Harry understand. His blond hair was immaculate as always. His sharp nose, aristocratic features and blood-red lips made him look like a living Adonis.
So, instead of answering, Harry did something much more braver. Definitely Gryffindor move.
Harry kissed Draco.
It felt as though fireworks were erupting within him, setting Harry on fire. After a few moments, Draco started kissing him back. The kiss started out sweet but it quickly turned harsh and demanding. Harry loved every second of it.
They could've been kissing for minutes, hours or even days. They separated only when they had to have oxygen in their system.
"That was brilliant!" Draco said, panting and gasping.
"I think I can do better…with practice," Harry said coyly.
Draco grinned and said, "Best idea you've had all day."
And that day was pretty much spent with kisses.
Without meaning it, Draco always showed more emotion whenever Harry was near.
Without meaning it, Draco always listened whenever 'Harry Potter' was mentioned.
Without meaning it, every letter to his mother was filled with Harry Potter.
Without meaning it, Blaise had caught on to everything.
Without meaning it, Draco had let Harry come into his life.
Without meaning it, Draco had fallen badly for Harry Potter.
Since that day, something between them seemed to shift. They weren't dating per se. But, they definitely wouldn't be considered friends. Perhaps… friends with special benefits.
The others noticed it but didn't dare to comment on it. Blaise, Daphne, Ron, Hermione and Ginny just gave them knowing looks.
"I figured it out!" Draco shouted to Harry who was making his way towards their table.
Harry cocked his eyebrow-a thing he had picked up from Draco-and said, "What is it?"
No one could miss the excitement in his voice. After all, they had been looking for almost nine months without any answer.
"It's Veritaserum!" Draco exclaimed.
"What?!" Out of all the things, Harry definitely wasn't expecting that.
"Yeah. It all fits! The Veritaserum doesn't react with anything because, more often than not, it is diluted in something to make it less recognizable. Of course, it dilutes the power of the potion, but it works!" Draco said excitedly.
"Wow! Tha-that's amazing, Draco," Harry said, giving Draco a kiss.
As they broke apart from the kiss, Harry suddenly remembered something and smiled wickedly.
"What are you thinking? I do not like that smile," Draco said. More often than not, that smile had ended with Draco getting pranked by someone.
"You said 'yeah' and not 'yes'," he said.
"No, I didn't,"
"Yes, you did,"
"We figured it out, guys!" Harry said in a sing-song voice as he entered the common room.
"Really?! What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked, excited.
Ron and Blaise had figured out that theirs was an ancient, deadly poison from Germany. Only Harry was left.
"You won't believe it," Harry said.
"C'mon, mate. Don't keep us in suspense," Ron said.
"It is Veritaserum,"
"What! But Veritaserum is a colorless, odorless potion!" Hermione said.
Ron frowned and said, "Not necessarily. Often, we use a very diluted version of Veritaserum in the courts since Dementors and Veritaserum don't really go well. Also, while using it illegally, people put it in the other person's food. It still works although it's powers are greatly diluted."
"Oh, right," Hermione looked at the ground as if wishing it would open up and swallow her.
After they got their results back, Harry and Draco were very happy to note that in Potions, they had both got an O.
In fact, Draco was so happy that he asked Harry out on a date which he accepted in front of the whole school.
Everyone started wolf-whistling. They had all seen Draco and Harry flirt and dance around each other for months.
"I swear," Hermione grumbled as she, Ron and Harry made for their favorite spot near the Black Lake, "If you both danced around each other like that for another day then I would've gone ballistic."
Harry simply smirked and said, "This is a fraction of what I had to face for seven years."
They both turned red.
Harry and Draco had a brilliant date. Nothing too fancy. They went to Scrivenshaft's where Draco had to buy a quill, Honeydukes where Harry went on a shopping spree and, finally, Three Broomsticks where they both had butterbeer and talked to each other.
Harry gulped. This was it. This was the day Draco would either accept him as who he was or reject him.
This was the day Harry would show Draco the cuts.
Harry went to the Library where they had promised to meet. There, he found that Draco was already waiting for him.
Harry took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. If he could face down Voldemort then he could face heartbreak, right?
"Draco," Harry said softly.
Draco frowned as he looked at Harry, no doubt seeing the fear Harry was feeling.
"What is it, Harry? You can tell me. I promise I won't judge you," Draco said.
Harry put up some notice-me-not charms for good measure and said, "I-I have to show you something."
With a deep breath, Harry yanked back the sleeves of his full-sleeved shirt leaving the scars for Draco to see.
One second…two seconds…
As it became unbearable, Harry blinked down the tears which threatened to fall down his face and said, "Don't worry Draco. I understand. I wouldn't want a boyfriend who had resorted to self-harm in the past."
Draco could finally speak.
"No," he said in a raspy voice, startling Harry, "Harry. You have been through war, it is only understandable why you did this. I did it once too-"
Harry looked shocked.
Draco chuckled and said, "Why do you look so worried? Yes, I did it. Staying with my father became unbearable. I understand. Perhaps not to your level. And don't even think that I won't love you because of this. I love you with all my heart, soul and magic. Nothing will change that."
And, just like that, being in Draco's arms surrounded with books became Harry's heaven. It wasn't perfect by any means. But, how could someone be perfect? No. Harry was more than happy having his Draco.
~*FIN*~
A/N- Please read and review. It makes my day. Also, have a wonderful day/night.