Chapter 45

"Gaara, if you had a big sister instead of a big brother, how do you think you would treat her?" Temari asks as nonchalantly as she can. Gaara is seated outside on the stairs leading to the back patio, watching the sun go down on the horizon. The Suna sun is, after all, a breathtaking sight, it being so big that it appears near and seemingly quite within reach. Temari has approached the younger shinobi a couple of minutes ago, sitting unobtrusively on the steps, by his side. Gaara does not seem to mind and now Temari, unable to bite her tongue any longer, voices the question that is foremost on her mind.

"I don't have a sister," Gaara simply answers.

"I—Let us just say you have. What do you think? How would you treat her? Would you be happy?" Slight interest now creeps on Temari's voice as she watches her brother watch the dying sun.

"I don't want a sister."

Disappointed, Temari mutters, "I see."

"I would have liked a mother. Kamaru-niisan said—" Gaara catches himself saying a bit too much.

"What did he say?" Temari doesn't bother to act unconcerned, her tone full of curiosity, for her brothers after all don't usually volunteer information about themselves or about Shikamaru—and she would rather fight Kankuro's puppets or a half-crazed Gaara than directly ask either of them about him.

"Mother cared for me the most," Gaara replies, swinging his head to face Temari.

"Oh." Temari isn't expecting that. Karura, her real mother, she should have wondered about her more but Yoshino had crammed that space in her life that there's no more void that needs to be filled. Admittedly, sometimes she thinks, detached, of the woman who had given birth to her and who had probably agreed with the Kazekage to give her away. However, at Gaara words, she's surprised to feel a twinge as she learns that her youngest brother, according to Shikamaru, was their mother's favourite.

"At the time I thought niisan said it to mollify me like offering a candy to a misbehaving child. I suspected that it was a lie; that what he actually meant was that mom, like the rest of them, considered me an aberration."

"So how did he convince you to believe him?" Temari inquires quietly, not wanting Gaara to feel forced and end up not telling her.

"Several years ago, I saw my niisan do something uncharacteristic," Gaara recounts as his eyes take on a faraway look. "He showed he cared for someone he didn't even know. He protected this person, not expecting anything in return," Gaara finishes, sounding almost envious.

"I see."

"I don't think you do." Gaara stares ahead, not much light is left now that the sun has hidden behind the horizon but someone has turned on the light inside the house and enough has spilled outside from the windows, illuminating the two shinobi. "My own uncle Yashamaru pretended to be concerned about me but ended up plotting to murder me. For years, I believed that nobody is actually capable of caring for me. And so the only way to prove that I exist is to kill. Before my victims could close their eyes for the last time they see me."

Temari remains silent.

"Kamaru-niisan is always nonchalant and unmotivated. His thoughts are guarded and he easily shrugs off his emotions, most of all anger. But that day, six years ago, he showed a part of him I didn't expect to see. That day Kamaru-niisan defended someone he just met against me—calling that person a friend when obviously that wasn't true then. That person had just deliberately betrayed him but still he went ahead and challenged me despite knowing I could crush him like a bug. He wasn't scared of me but angry."

"I could imagine that. Go on."

Gaara glances at Temari, noticing that she doesn't even recall anything about that incident, about that day, six long years ago, wherein Temari's team tried to steal their scroll for the Chuunin tournament.

Gaara continues, a slight smile gracing his lips, "I thought before that day, that niisan is indifferent to everything. I was wrong. What happened that day clearly showed that my brother just has the ability to control and hide his feelings. Then it got me to thinking—if he could care about a stranger, a stranger that betrayed him, maybe he could care for me too. Despite what I am, I'm still his little brother. Since then I started to look at him differently and I noticed the little things he did that I didn't before. Whenever I lost my temper, whenever I lost control, he never scampered away. Most of the times, I sensed his fear but he always stayed until I calmed down. It was then that I come to realise that he knows that I am a monster but that he has accepted that as a part of me. Saying that mother loves me more is his way of letting me know that I am special in mother's eyes and that he believes that I was."

Temari nods her head, having just recognized a fundamental truth about Gaara. Her youngest brother has a lot of similarities with Naruto, Konoha's own jinchuriki. Both had been shunned because of the bijuu that resides inside them. That's why they both needed to be acknowledged and accepted for what they are by someone.

Iruka-sensei, the person who taught the genins of Konoha the basic jutsus not only became Naruto's teacher but also his father-figure. Naruto has Iruka-sensei and Gaara, Gaara has Shikamaru. But Gaara's trust in Shikamaru stems from his belief that Shikamaru is his brother. Gaara has concluded that he is entitled to Shikamaru's affection simply because compared to a stranger, he is more—he is Shikamaru's little brother.

For the past six years, Gaara re-invented himself because of his belief. But now, even at fifteen, Gaara, if Temari admits to him that Shikamaru is not related to him in any way, how would that affect him?

Somehow, Temari is hesitant to find out.

TBC

~5/4/11AF~

A/N: I uploaded on time! I'll live! Ne, Sandy?

Reviews are nice.