Somehow, the first month off work had passed so quickly that Andrea had barely had time to register the fact that she was now only four short weeks from returning to her job. Andy had been so nice, using his bereavement time to keep her company, telling her stories about Sharon that he had picked up from Ricky and Emily. Though he had nearly undone her when on the last day of his leave he had brought over one of Sharon's angels, telling her that she needed it more than he did, since there were still so many he was finding around the house.

Andrea smiled and reached out to run her finger along the wings of the angel as she got up and went to the front door to get the mail. There was more than she had thought, and as she flipped through it, she separated out a few bills before finding her fingers brushing against a familiar white envelope. Again, there was the typewritten address that was so familiar to her, even though it was her home address there, rather than her work address. Frowning a little, she set that envelope aside to focus on the large brown envelope that was from her alma mater. Taking a seat in the chair next to the door, Andrea unfastened the flap before opening it, pulling out a few sheets of paper.

Dear Ms Hobbs,

We were delighted to receive your application for the position of law librarian. We are pleased to inform you that you have passed the first round of the application process, and would like to set up a Skype interview with you, so that you do not have to travel out and see us, especially seeing as you might be in the middle of a case. Please fill out and fax the forms included with this packet, and in the cover letter, let us know a good time to get in touch with you, along with your phone number to reach you at. Again, thank you for considering us, and we look forward to seeing you soon.

Serena Russell

Head of HR

Andrea felt her hands turn clammy and cold, her eyes darting across the letter over and over as she tried to comprehend what was written there. She had never really given serious consideration to the fact that she might move forward in the application process, but now with the possibility of a new life in her hands, she realized that maybe she truly did want to make a change. Knowing she couldn't get her hopes up just yet, Andrea set aside the letter before looking over the forms, then quickly filling them out.

And then, there was nothing more to do but look at her third letter from her anonymous friend. Her fingers trembled a little as she carefully slid her finger beneath the seal of the envelope and opened it, hissing a little when she got a papercut from the thin, sharp, edge. Pulling her finger away, she stuck it in her mouth and sucked gently as she maneuvered the sheet of paper out with her other hand, awkwardly flipping it open so that she could read it.

Andrea,

It really surprises me that you haven't been to visit Sharon's gravesite, what with the time off you've had recently. Or that you haven't been over there yet, period. If she was truly your best friend, I would have thought that you would have paid your respects. Maybe you didn't really care for her as much as you claimed. Or maybe, life has gotten in the way of things? Whatever it is, I truly think that you should make a pilgrimage out to where she sleeps. It might do your heart some good.

It was a cryptic letter, much like the others, but it seemed to hit closer to home, because there was such truth in those words. She hadn't been to visit the cemetery because she had allowed life to get in the way, and then had just decided that she was better off remembering Sharon as she was, not by seeing the place that held her earthly remains.

Sighing a little, Andrea got to her feet and made her way into the living room. Picking up her laptop, she banged out a quick cover letter, including a time early next week when she would be available to Skype with Ms Russell. After proofing it, she scanned the filled out forms and then faxed the entire packet to her office before making her way upstairs and quickly changing into something a little more respectable. Taking a look at her reflection, Andrea ran a comb through her hair to smooth it down before giving herself a small smile.

"You can do this, Andrea. It's not like she's there any longer. The essence of the person you love is with you and in the better place she believed in," she murmured softly as she smoothed her blouse. "Now, get going before you change your mind."

Taking a deep breath, she went down to the kitchen, grabbing her mobile and keys before heading into the garage and out to the cemetery. Even though she hadn't been there since the graveside service, she was able to drive there by rote, and the forty minute drive seemed to fly by in a blink, since her brain seemed to have gone into autopilot the moment she slipped behind the wheel.

As Andrea made her way to the secluded alcove that Andy had chosen for Sharon, she found herself wishing that she had thought to stop and get flowers. It was the right thing to do, when paying your respects. And here she was, without offerings, without remembrances, with only herself and her sorrows. Blinking back tears, she finally came to a stop in front of Sharon's headstone, and the fresh granite marker served as a stark reminder for what she had lost.

Sinking to her knees, she reached out and traced the letters of Sharon's name before letting her fingers dance over the dates of her birth and death. The tears that she had been struggling to hold inside began to run down her cheeks. "There was so much more for you to live for, Sharon. I still don't get why you had to push and push and push that woman until you went too far. Because I miss you, so much, and I can't even pretend that we were anything more than best friends. Because that would do a disservice to Andy, and the friendship I have with him," she whispered as she continued to stare at cold stone in front of her.

A cool breeze tickled at her hair, and she sighed as she looked up to watch the clouds float across the sky. There was a beauty to the way they skimmed over her line of sight, and she smiled a little through her tears as she pushed herself up off the ground and began to make her way towards her car, finding very little peace in her heart from having visited the final resting place of her best friend. Maybe, when Rusty had finally started to think about his actions, she could come back, and find that a different sort of peace would befriend her. Until that day, though, she knew that she would never come back to the cemetery. She couldn't put her heart through it again.