The music flowed around him like calming waves. Was this what had befallen Gu Cai and the other customers at this brothel?
Hong Chi played a soothing, mellow tune. The melody evoked the image of a soft breeze caressing lush leaves in a verdant forest.
Wei Wuxian's eyes drifted shut, tranquil. His head tipped forward, hat slipping down his forehead.
Circulating his spiritual energy, he smacked his right hand onto the guqin strings to stop its resonance.
"I'll miss out on your wonderful performance if you make me fall asleep, Miss Hong." He adjusted his hat with his other hand.
Hong Chi's eyes narrowed. Her hand struck out in the blink of an eye.
Wei Wuxian leaned to the side and held her wrist. He leered. "My, aren't you keen? Do you want to skip the music and get straight to the main event?"
With unbelievable strength, Hong Chi pulled her wrist out of Wei Wuxian's hold and leapt away in a swirl of pink. She was now closer to the bed.
"Are we ready for bed already?" Wei Wuxian grinned. He stood up, and pretended to reached for his belt.
A flash of white swung close to his waist, forcing him to pull his hand back.
In her hand was a glowing white sword. She was a cultivator!
Seeing her blank face, he could not help but continue to tease. "Do you want to do the honours and cut off my robes?"
"Shameless!" Hong Chi hissed in a deep voice.
Before Wei Wuxian could remark on Hong Chi's strangely deep voice, he had to jump back when she swung at his abdomen.
"Hey! Be gentle! My heart cannot take such violent advances!"
Wei Wuxian had to move back further when Hong Chi released a series of thrusts.
Hong Chi stepped beside her guqin. Transferring the sword to her left hand, she played the guqin with her right.
Wei Wuxian pulled out Suibian and blocked the approaching flash of energy.
Hong Chi lowered her sword. "You are a cultivator."
"You are a man," Wei Wuxian returned, and because he still wanted to get some sort of reaction out of this person, he said, "what a strange hobby you have. Or is this training in some secret cultivation technique?"
Hong Chi thinned his lips. Yes, a reaction! Wei Wuxian tilted his head back and laughed, his hat falling off his head. He fumbled around to catch the hat before it reached the ground. "I see why they say you're shy now! What, you can't imitate a lady's voice?" Wei Wuxian placed the hat atop his head and coughed. He pitched his voice higher. "Young Master, this one here is Hong Chi." He still sounded like a male, and chuckled at his own efforts.
"So, did you knock out your guests just so that you didn't have to entertain them?" Wei Wuxian guessed.
Hong Chi's eyes widened. "... Mn."
"And I take it you messed around with their yang energies so that they would feel like they had, uh, been serviced?"
"Mn."
"So there's no evil spirit here attacking the guests of this brothel."
"Mn."
Well, that was his job complete. He could just leave, report to Jiang Wanyin and Gu Cai, and be on his way back to Lotus Pier. But he was too curious about this beautiful cross-dressing man. 'Hong Chi' appeared to be proficient with a sword, and his guqin playing had been exquisite.
Wei Wuxian bowed, "I am Wei Ying of Yunmeng Jiang, courtesy name Wei Wuxian."
'Hong Chi' appeared to recognise his name. In his deep voice, he said, "Gusu Lan, Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji."
"Ah, so you're one of the Twin Jades of Lan!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed. That explained Lan Wangji's strange headscarf, it must have been used to conceal his forehead ribbon!
"Are you here on a mission?"
"... Mn."
No elaboration? Maybe the not-talking thing was not a part of his 'Hong Chi' act.
At that moment, there was an urgent knocking, and before the room's occupants could respond, the door opened.
Madam Liu stepped in and quickly closed the door behind her. "Some of our guests said they heard strange noises coming from here..." Her eyes flew from sword to sword, and she smiled uneasily at Wei Wuxian. "Young Master Li, I am sorry if Miss Hong has offended you in any way..."
Wei Wuxian's expression brightened. Lan Wangji seemed reluctant to speak, so he'll have to get the information from Madam Liu instead.
"Madam Liu, I am also a cultivator. This," he held up Suibian, "was a misunderstanding."
Madam Liu looked relieved. "Oh, Young Master Li, my apologies that you got caught up in this."
Wei Wuxian smiled and turned up his charm, ready to interrogate. "There is no need to apologise. Madam Liu, may I inquire as to what your troubles are? Why is there a need for this elaborate disguise?" He waved at Lan Wangji.
Madam Liu eyed Lan Wangji, appearing uncertain whether cultivators from other sects could butt into a job. Seeing as Lan Wangji made no word of protest, she began her tale.
"Five of my top ladies have disappeared in the last five months. When A-Liang disappeared, I thought she had run away with a customer. However, a month later, A-Tian also disappeared under similar circumstances. Each time they disappeared, it was to a man who came to seek the most beautiful woman in the brothel. Sometimes I chose the girl, sometimes he asked to choose from a line-up. Such requests are very common. However, the odd thing about this was that neither myself nor my girls could ever remember what the man looked like."
Wei Wuxian nodded as he listened. This sounded like a potentially supernatural case.
"When A-Bao disappeared, I went to the authorities. Some junior officials offered to search for the girls, but to no avail." Madam Liu continued. "One day, I was so distraught I went to shed my tears of anguish in the mountains, where no-one could hear my cries. Young Master Lan happened across me and listened to my story. He offered to help, on the condition that I tell no-one of his involvement."
Wei Wuxian nodded. Of course, the Gusu Lan Sect could not have it known that their model student had dressed as a woman and posed as a prostitute. The Gusu Lan Elders would all suffer heart attacks!
"Madam Liu, let me offer you my services!"
Madam Liu looked shocked, "oh, but Young Master Lan..."
"You don't know who this person is or when they will strike, so we'll have better chances of catching this kidnapper if there are more 'beautiful ladies' to serve the customers."
Wei Wuxian knew she was sold on the idea when her face lit up, eyes looking him up and down.
"Well..."
"I ask for no payment. Like Young Master Lan, I only wish for no-one to be aware of our association in this business. Also, I will need two dresses."
Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji. He could not read the blank expression.
In any case, Lan Wangji did not vocally oppose his interference.
oOo
"Gu Cai, I found your monster! It's a tough one, but I guarantee that we would be rid of it by next month!"
"I have to wait another month?" Gu Cai whined pitifully.
"Yes. One month of waiting is worth a whole lifetime's pleasure, is it not?" Wei Wuxian asked.
Gu Cai sighed. "I suppose so."
"Now, you can go back home and wait for our good news. I need to strategise with Jiang Cheng."
Gu Cai wrote down the directions to his home, and left, looking back longingly at Yu Le Lou.
Wei Wuxian handed a sack to Jiang Wanyin. "We have a new mission!" He declared.
Jiang Wanyin took the sack without question, looking at it curiously. "What new mission? What happened with our original one?"
"It wasn't even a monster, it was a cultivator who was on a job."
Jiang Wanyin scoffed. "So it's sorted. We can go."
"No, we can't! We need to help this cultivator out!" Wei Wuxian said.
"What, is this some rogue cultivator who got in over their heads?" Jiang Wanyin asked derisively.
"No, he's taken on a mission, solo, and I offered to help."
Jiang Wanyin grumbled while reaching into the sack. He pulled out a handful of purple material, comprehension sinking in.
"Is this a dress?" Jiang Wanyin asked.
"Yes."
"You want me to wear this?"
"Yes. I even got you a purple one. Don't worry, I'll be wearing one as well!" Wei Wuxian grinned and pulled out a light green dress from his sack.
"WEI WUXIAN!"
Using his gifted tongue and considerable influence over his shidi, Wei Wuxian convinced Jiang Wanyin to get changed into the dress.
oOo
Wei Wuxian was impressed with how A-Fang had done their hair and make-up. Looking in a mirror, he could almost believe it was a female staring back at him.
"You look better without a beard," A-Fang had giggled before leaving.
Jiang Wanyin had groused throughout the whole process, but there he now stood, dressed in the purple dress and hair full of silver accessories. His face was white and smooth, and his lips were red. Wei Wuxian refrained from telling him that he looked a lot like Madam Yu, especially with the scowl adorning his face.
He excitedly pulled Jiang Wanyin to Lan Wangji to introduce them.
"Young Master Lan, this is my shimei, Yin Lianhua."
"Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Wanyin slapped the laughing Wei Wuxian on the arm.
"Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin," Jiang Wanyin bowed in a proper, respectful greeting.
"Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji," the introduction and bow was returned.
Jiang Wanyin eyed the unconscious man on the bed who must have been Lan Wangji's customer, then looked to Wei Wuxian. "So, if we're clear we don't have our kidnapper, and the men start becoming handsy, we can just knock them out, right?"
"Yes, and Lan-xiong can work his guqin spell on them... hahaha!" Wei Wuxian suddenly broke out into laughter. "Jiang Cheng, you can't stand like that! It's not very ladylike!"
Jiang Wanyin stood with his feet shoulder width apart and arms crossed over his chest, scrunching up his fake breasts. His made-up face flushed. "Wei Wuxian, you can't laugh like that! Have you ever seen a lady laughing in such an ugly way?"
Wei Wuxian only tilted his head back further in laughter, accessories jangling on his head.
"We need more practice at being women. Perhaps Lan-xiong can offer some tips?"
Lan Wangji, who had been watching their exchange blandly, did not offer any help.
"Lan er-gongzi?" No reaction. "Young Master Lan? Wangji-xiong? Lan Zhan?"
Wei Wuxian grinned at the pinched expression.
"Lan Zhan! You were great as a woman! What do you think we should do?"
No response.
"Ah, is that what you think we should do?" Wei Wuxian asked cheekily. "Just not talk? That might work. But what if a customer wants to hear us talk?"
Wei Wuxian proceeded to try to channel Jiang Yanli. "A-Cheng, I made some lotus root and pork rib soup, but only for A-Xian!"
"A-Jie does not sound or act like that!"
"Xian-xian is very good at mimicking me."
"Oh yeah? I'm telling A-Jie when we get back!"
"A-Cheng, your voice needs to be higher if you want to be as convincing a lady as Xian-xian."
The pink silk of Lan Wangji's headscarf swung back and forth as he bemusedly watched the interaction.
oOo
After Lan Wangji removed his unconscious customer and returned to the room, they decided to make holes in the walls so they could keep an eye on each other.
"Wow, Lan Zhan! Such impressive strength and speed!" Wei Wuxian praised when Lan Wangji was able to make a hole with one stab of Bichen.
Madam Liu came to look for them, frowning when she saw them covering the holes with portraits.
"We'll fix these later," Wei Wuxian promised.
Madam Liu nodded. "Young Masters, a customer requests the services of the most beautiful lady."
Wei Wuxian's hand shot up in the air. "Me! Me!" He said eagerly.
If Madam Liu was puzzled by his enthusiasm, she did not show it. She simply said, "I'll send him here then."
oOo
A man old enough to be Wei Wuxian's grandfather hobbled into the room.
"I am sure that Li Chun's services will be to your liking," Madam Liu said to the old man, whose hungry eyes roamed Wei Wuxian's figure, eyes lingering on his fake breasts. "A-Chun, take care of Master Xu."
"Yes, Madam," Wei Wuxian said in his fake high-pitched voice. He heard shuffling from next door where Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin were watching.
"Miss Li, you are a true beauty indeed!" The old man sat down heavily at the table.
"You are too kind, Master Xu." Wei Wuxian said, pouring some wine. "Here, have a drink."
Master Xu did not seem at all bothered by Wei Wuxian's weird voice. He quickly downed his cup of wine then reached for Wei Wuxian's shoulder. Wei Wuxian slapped the wandering hand.
"Not so fast, Master Xu," Wei Wuxian wagged a finger in Master Xu's face.
Master Xu held his wrinkled hand to his chest, expression hurt.
"I am not ready yet. Here, let's drink a bit more, set the atmosphere." Wei Wuxian poured another cup of wine, and held it up to the old man's lips.
Master Xu drank his cup in one gulp, and licked his lips.
"In that case, Miss Li, you must drink with me!" Master Xu poured a cup and offered it to Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian grinned. "Of course!"
They continued to pour wine for one another, Wei Wuxian asking for more when the bottle ran dry. Master Xu's face was flushed, and he laughed merrily at something ridiculous Wei Wuxian said.
Wei Wuxian proceeded to drink the old Master Xu under the table, and sighed. "I guess we can't be so lucky that my first customer will be the one."
He then grinned and raised his voice. "Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng, I was an excellent woman, wasn't I?"
There was no response, but he knew that Jiang Wanyin would have rolled his eyes.
Shimei (師妹)- junior apprentice sister
Yin Lianhua (銀蓮花)-yin is silver, lianhua is lotus flower