The kidnapper did not appear that first evening Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin "worked" at the brothel.
On the second evening, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji watched through the peephole from an adjacent room as Master Rui, a burly man dressed in rich orange silks, lunged at Jiang Wanyin.
Jiang Wanyin sidestepped the man, scowling. Wei Wuxian grinned at his shidi's resemblance Yu Ziyuan when he scowled like that.
Master Rui laughed merrily. "Miss Yin, are you playing hard to get?" He reached for Jiang Wanyin again.
"No, I don't want you to touch me!" Jiang Wanyin did not even try to disguise his voice, but Master Rui either did not mind or he had met many other ladies in the past who sounded like young men.
Master Rui laughed. "I like that spirit! When I catch you, our intimate adventures will be all the sweeter!"
Wei Wuxian knew that they needed to observe their customers for a bit to see whether they were the kidnappers, so they could not just immediately knock out the men. He choked on his laughter as he watched the purple silks flying to and fro as Jiang Wanyin ran around the room. It truly did look like Jiang Wanyin was playing tag with Master Rui.
They circled table in the centre of the room. Master Rui occasionally changing directions, and even once leaned over the table. His wide swinging arms missed the nimble Jiang Wanyin, who leapt back, golden hair accessories jingling.
Master Rui leaned on the table, breathing heavily, and gulped down the pot of tea. "You... are... a worthy... woman..." he tried to catch his breath.
Jiang Wanyin snarled and finally knocked the man out.
"I am a worthy man, dumbass!"
oOo
On the fourth night, everyone was called out so that a young scholarly man could choose his preferred company for the evening.
The three of them stood on the second floor landing among five other ladies. A-Fang smiled hopefully at them, and Wei Wuxian nodded at her.
Their customer, Young Master Huang, fanned himself with a large folding fan as he walked down the line of ladies, eyes scanning them one by one. He stopped in front of the pink-garbed Lan Wangji, and snapped his fan shut.
"This is our Hong Chi," Madam Liu said. "Her skill on the guqin is unparalled." She added, as though Lan Wangji's beauty might not be enough to entice Young Master Huang.
Young Master Huang nodded. "I would like her to accompany me this evening."
As Young Master Huang and Lan Wangji retreated to Lan Wangji's room, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin entered the room beside it.
"Young Master Huang didn't even get to us!" Wei Wuxian pouted. "He might have picked me."
Jiang Wanyin rolled his eyes, and they crowded around the peep holes to spy on Lan Wangji and Young Master Huang.
Lan Wangji sat across from Young Master Huang, each with a cup of tea in front of them.
Wei Wuxian again appreciated how convincing Lan Wangji looked as a woman. His intense eyes, his red lips, his perfect skin...
Too bad his voice would give him away immediately.
The evening began with Young Master Huang reciting poetry. When Lan Wangji seemed unimpressed at his repertoire of romance themed poetry, Young Master Huang fanned himself furiously.
Young Master Huang then gushed about Lan Wangji's beauty, who merely looked bored at the stream of praise.
Lan Wangji suddenly stood up and moved to sit behind his guqin in a swirl of pink.
Lan Wangji's apparent boredom did not deter the customer though, as Young Master Huang happily followed, reaching across to place a hand on the dark wood.
Lan Wangji's eyes flashed dangerously, and Young Master Huang froze mid-reach, gulping. Slowly pulling his hand back, Young Master Huang uneasily asked for a musical performance.
Wei Wuxian nudged Jiang Wanyin, indicating they should block their ears as Lan Wangji played the guqin, lulling Young Master Huang to sleep.
oOo
The three "ladies" sat around the table with drinks in front of them. Lan Wangji daintily sipped his tea, while Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin took advantage of the free alcohol.
"Miss Hong, won't you try some alcohol?" Wei Wuxian asked Lan Wangji with a grin.
Lan Wangji did not respond.
"I've heard that Gusu's Emperor's Smile is one of the best wines one could ever have. Have you tasted it?" Wei Wuxian asked, wiping his lips with his sleeve.
Lan Wangji seemed to look down his nose at the curious Wei Wuxian, then shook his head.
Jiang Wanyin scoffed. "You smudged your lips."
"Really?" Wei Wuxian pulled out Suibian to look at his reflection in the blade. Indeed, there was a line of red going from his lip to his right cheek. How could women last a whole day without ruining this stuff on their faces?
As Wei Wuxian wet a handkerchief to wipe off the trail of red on his face, Jiang Wanyin slammed his cup down.
"Why are we just sitting around drinking? What if the kidnapper never turns up again?" Jiang Wanyin complained. "We could be doing this forever!"
Wei Wuxian said. "You're right, we can't keep doing this. Even though the ladies have been kidnapped for so long already, we might be better off trying to see if we can track them."
"Jasmine would have been perfect for the job!" Jiang Wanyin lamented.
Before Wei Wuxian could protest, Madam Liu knocked and stuck her head in the door.
"Ma Jian has paid very good money and wants to choose the most beautiful lady to entertain him tonight."
The three of them exchanged a hopeful glance.
Lan Wangji glided smoothly to the door, while Jiang Wanyin was stiff-backed and tried to keep his strides short.
Wei Wuxian tried not to bounce too much as he followed, pulling his collar looser to sexily expose more of his neck.
Ma Jian was a short man dressed in red magistrate robes. He walked up and down the landing, scanning each lady carefully.
He stopped particularly long in front of Lan Wangji. Despite Lan Wangji's blank expression, the man nodded approvingly.
Ma Jian then stood in front of Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian smiled shyly, batting his eyelashes and holding a silk handkerchief up to his lips.
Ma Jian hummed to himself, then moved to stand in front of Jiang Wanyin.
Wei Wuxian almost wanted to smack Jiang Wanyin for his pinched face, but Ma Jian simply stared.
"The choice is so difficult!" Ma Jian complained. "It would be lovely if you ladies could all offer me your best smiles." He looked down the line of ladies expectantly. "Come on, smile for me!"
Wei Wuxian immediately burst into a bright grin, all teeth. He winced when he saw Jiang Wanyin's pained expression, lips pulled back in an attempted smile while his forehead was creased with his frown.
Lan Wangji did not even bother, staring ahead with his blank expression. Wei Wuxian wondered whether Lan Wangji was just taking it easy now that other cultivators were helping out, or if he had great confidence in his appearance.
Or was just incapable of moving his facial muscles.
Ma Jian studied their "smiles", then said, "Madam Liu, I have made my decision!"
oOo
"I can't believe he chose Jiang Cheng! Surely I'm prettier than him? He couldn't even smile properly!" Wei Wuxian murmured to Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji did not dignify that with a response.
Wei Wuxian sighed, and continued to look through the peep-hole.
Through the hole, they saw Jiang Wanyin standing there, hands on his hips in a very un-ladylike manner. Ma Jian did not seem the least bit displeased by the posture though, only pacing around Jiang Wanyin once more, nodding in satisfaction.
"Yes," Ma Jian said. "You will do nicely!"
Ma Jian became serious and took Jiang Wanyin's left wrist. "Miss Yin, if you come with me quietly, then I will not harm you."
How fortunate that this customer was the kidnapper they were hunting!
Even Jiang Wanyin appeared surprised at their luck. He nodded, and Ma Jian dragged him to the window. He pushed it open, hugged Jiang Wanyin around the waist, and jumped out of the window.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji immediately gave chase.
oOo
Considering Ma Jian was carrying a person, he was moving at incredible speeds. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji almost had trouble keeping up. Wei Wuxian was convinced that Ma Jian was no ordinary human.
They chased their quarry out of town and across rice fields to a property at the foot of a mountain. Stopping behind some trees, they watched as Ma Jian let Jiang Wanyin down and enter through the front door.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji ran and leapt up the outer wall to peek into the property. They saw Ma Jian pulling Jiang Wanyin across a courtyard to a room in the east wing of the property, knocking.
"Young Master Dong, it is I!" Ma Jian said loudly.
"A-Jian? Did you bring me another one?" A clear voice rang from inside the room.
"Yes, Young Master."
"Enter!"
Ma Jian opened the door and ushered Jiang Wanyin in. When they closed the door, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji made their way to the room. Poking holes into the paper windows, they peeked into the room.
Sitting front and centre was a frail young man dressed in white silk. He sat with a regal posture, looking down at Jiang Wanyin and Ma Jian.
Five beautiful young ladies were crowded around him, massaging his shoulders and serving him drinks and fruit.
They had found their missing ladies, and they were all alive!
Despite being surrounded and served by the beauties, Young Master Dong looked unhappy. He had a forced smile on his face as he said. "A-Jian, you have brought me a lovely one this time. Please, come closer."
Jiang Wanyin took one step closer, hands on his hips.
"Wonderful!" Young Master Dong said without any enthusiasm. "You can entertain me in my chambers later tonight."
Wei Wuxian clenched his fist at that. Ma Jian stiffened.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji ducked when Ma Jian suddenly spun around and strode over to the window.
The sound of a sword being drawn came from inside. Hearing this, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji pulled open the windows and jumped in.
Ma Jian's movements were insanely fast. Jiang Wanyin attacked him in earnest but could not land a single hit.
Ma Jian's eyes widened in recognition when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji joined the fight.
"You! Were you disappointed that you were not chosen to serve Young Master Dong?" Ma Jian huffed out a laugh, not at all discouraged by the combined attack of three cultivators.
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin had trained and fought together for many years, and were familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses. They were able to bring down opponents more powerful than themselves through their teamwork. However, Wei Wuxian could not help but feel like they were being toyed with as Ma Jian dodged their swords like water through gaps.
Even Lan Wangji's fluid movements and amazing forms could not disrupt Ma Jian's flow.
He could hear the ladies scrambling away, and looked over to see Young Master Dong's frozen expression. As Wei Wuxian swept at Ma Jian's feet, Lan Wangji flew towards Young Master Dong.
Wei Wuxian saw the panic in Ma Jian's eyes as Ma Jian pulled out throwing knives. He quickly moved between Ma Jian and Lan Wangji, blocking a knife with Suibian.
Unfortunately, multiple knives were thrown, and one lodged itself in Wei Wuxian's shoulder and another sunk into his left thigh.
Jiang Wanyin swung his sword in a rage, but was pushed back by a force of energy.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were also knocked aside by this force as Ma Jian flew to stand beside his master. Lan Wangji thrust Bichen forward, aiming for Young Master Dong's neck. Ma Jian grabbed Bichen with his bare hands, and Wei Wuxian pulled the knife from his shoulder to throw at Young Master Dong.
The knife was knocked away with a wave of Ma Jian's hand.
Wei Wuxian threw Suibian at the same time Jiang Wanyin threw Sandu. Ma Jian pulled Bichen to block Suibian, but Sandu came surging through the air, stabbing Ma Jian's stomach.
Ma Jian looked down in shock at Sandu sticking out of him, finally letting go of Bichen.
Lan Wangji took a step back, not lowering his sword.
"A-Jian!"
Young Master Dong moved to Ma Jian's side and knelt.
"Please, don't hurt A-Jian!"
Suibian returned to Wei Wuxian, but he did not sheath it.
"Why shouldn't we? He kidnapped all of these women to serve you. You should both be punished!" Jiang Wanyin snarled, catching Sandu as it returned to him, flicking blood off of it.
Tears were streaming down Young Master Dong's face. "A-Jian only did so because I asked him to."
"Young Master Dong!" Ma Jian cried, one hand pressing on his abdomen to slow the blood flow. "Please, don't hurt Young Master Dong! We have not hurt any of the ladies, you can ask them!"
One of the ladies stepped forward, nodding. "Young Master Ma threatened to harm us if we harmed his master, but they did not treat us poorly."
Another young lady said, "the threat aside, they actually treated us better than some of our customers at the brothel."
There was agreement all around.
Wei Wuxian frowned. "Young Master Dong, did you really ask Young Master Ma to kidnap the ladies for you? You didn't look too happy at the situation."
Young Master Dong's cheeks blushed. "Well... I..." he quickly glanced at Ma Jian, then bowed. "A-Jian, I am sorry! I only did this to try to make you jealous!"
Ma Jian's expression smoothed over, blood and pain forgotten.
"Jealous?" There was a note of hope in his voice.
"Yes, jealous!" Young Master Dong said, then forged on. "I have harboured feelings for you since we first met, but you only ever saw us as master and servant. I was hoping if I surrounded myself with beautiful women, you would finally see that I do not belong to any of these women and try to claim me. I belong to you!"
Wound forgotten, Ma Jian leaned over to embrace Young Master Dong.
"Young Master Dong, I thought you really wanted those women! I also longed for you since the beginning!" Ma Jian's blood was getting all over Young Master Dong's white robes, but they remained in each other's arms.
The ladies twittered excitedly in the background, while Lan Wangji looked away.
Jiang Wanyin's lips curled at the pair.
Wei Wuxian, however, watched the unexpected confession in awe. This whole mess was the result of their feelings towards each other and their miscommunication?
Lan Wangji was suddenly at his side, channelling spiritual energy into Wei Wuxian's shoulder wound.
"Lan Zhan, you don't need to!" Wei Wuxian said with bravado. "This type of wound will heal itself soon enough!"
Lan Wangji ignored his protests, continuing the treatment of his shoulder before pulling out the knife in his thigh and channelling energy there as well.
"Thank you," Lan Wangji said quietly.
Wei Wuxian's cheeks blushed at Lan Wangji's soft expression as he worked with focus.
oOo
Ma Jian survived his wound. They never did discover what manner of creature or cultivator he was, but he was harmless enough that they did not feel the need to capture or punish him.
However, Wei Wuxian had a burning question to ask before they left.
"Young Master Ma, did you really think Miss Yin was the most beautiful of the three of us?" He asked, indicating Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin.
Ma Jian looked at the frowning Jiang Wanyin and said nostalgically, "he reminded me of my mother."
Wei Wuxian felt equal parts pleased and saddened by that.
The ladies were returned to Yu Le Lou, saying they would not file any complaints and expressing a wish to keep in contact with the new couple.
Madam Liu and the ladies thanked them profusely in one breath, and complimented them on their beauty the next.
Wei Wuxian was the only one who found that funny, laughing as he said "it's all thanks to A-Fang!"
Gu Cai's eyes had moistened up with overwhelming joy when he heard that the "monster" had been dealt with, "thank you, Young Masters!"
When Wei Wuxian tried to hand him back the pouches of money, Gu Cai insisted he keep it. "I get my brothel and my beauties back, it is money well spent!"
After mending the peepholes they had made at the brothel, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Wanyin and Lan Wangji shed their disguises. Jiang Wanyin was relieved to return the dresses and accessories.
They walked together to the edge of town. More than once, Wei Wuxian's eyes had drifted to Lan Wangji, now dressed in his white Gusu Lan robes. Without the ridiculous headscarf, Lan Wangji's silky black hair flowed down his back like an inky waterfall, which contrasted with his smooth pale skin. Lan Wangji carried himself with the perfect straight posture, intense eyes staring out from beneath his forehead ribbon.
Wei Wuxian could easily see why Lan Wangji was hailed as one of the Twin Jades of Lan.
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin bowed a proper farewell, which Lan Wangji returned.
"Farewell, Young Master Lan, may your journey be safe," Jiang Wanyin said formally.
"Farewell," Lan Wangji said.
"Hopefully see you around, Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian grinned and waved.
Lan Wangji stared for a long moment, as though he wanted to say something.
"Mn."
Wei Wuxian watched sadly as Lan Wangji walked away.
It had been so much fun ruffling his feathers!
"That was fun, wasn't it?" Wei Wuxian said cheerily.
Jiang Wanyin gnarled his teeth and said, "which part of it was fun? Taking half the day doing the disguises? Having to pretend to be a woman? Getting harassed by those men? Ganging up on Ma Jian? You getting hurt?"
Wei Wuxian shrugged. "Other than those knives, most of it was fun. Lan Zhan was a beautiful woman, don't you think? Although I think my acting was a bit better." When Jiang Wanyin did not respond, Wei Wuxian continued, "anyway, we need to come up with a story for Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu about the mission."
Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin spent the rest of the return trip coming up with a believable mission, because there was no way they were going to mention cross-dressing or working in brothels to Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan.
oOo
A few months later, Wei Wuxian climbed over the walls of Cloud Recesses, two bottles of Emperor's Smile in hand.
"It is after curfew, you are not allowed in until after seven," a deep voice said.
A figure in white leapt gracefully onto the wall, standing beside Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian grinned widely, holding up the alcohol.
"Lan Zhan, if I share this, will you pretend that you never saw me?"
THE END
This fic came about because I wanted to write two things: the boys cross-dressing, and Wei Wuxian teasing Lan Wangji. Mission accomplished! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know your thoughts. I welcome any feedback!