There was something wrong with Ed. Throughout dinner, the kid was quiet, barely answering any of Gracia's questions about their latest mission. The blond picked and dragged his food around on his plate, only eating bits from time to time. He seemed. . .Maes didn't know what it was, but he intended to find out.
He managed to get his chance when Gracia went to give Elicia a bath. "Ed, you mind helping me with the dishes?"
The boy nodded, sending him a small smile before pulling up his sleeves and taking a dish that Maes handed to him. Now let it be known, Maes was good at reading people; he wouldn't have become the head of investigations if he hadn't been, but teenagers posed a different sort of problem.
While his daughter was four, Ed was fifteen, would be sixteen in a few months. Teenagers were much different than young children and adults, so he'd have to go about this in another way than he usually would.
He mentally sighed and turned his attention back to the task at hand. Surprisingly, the dishes were all done, and Ed was wiping his hands on the dishtowel. The kid's shoulders were slumped with exhaustion, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
Gently, he rested his hand on the blond's shoulder. Ed nearly jumped two feet in the air, and Maes removed his hand just as fast.
"Sorry," The blond murmured.
"Nothing to be sorry about," Maes said with false cheer.
Ed sighed shakily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You look like you're going to fall over with exhaustion, Ed,"
The blond laughed sardonically. "Haven't gotten a wink of sleep in the past two days," The boy seemed to freeze at this, glancing over his nose at Maes' concerned gaze.
"Sorry, that's nothing you need to be worried about. Shouldn't you be upstairs tucking Elicia into bed?" Ed was dodging the issue, Maes could tell. He was also about a second from breaking into tears if the glossy look in his eyes and the tremble of his hands were anything to go by.
"Gracia can handle it. Besides, you look like you need someone to talk to,"
Just like that, the dam burst. Ed flung himself into Maes and grabbed onto his shirt, and started to cry. Maes quickly wrapped his arms around the sobbing child. Getting to the couch was difficult with the automail hand gripping his shirt, but he managed. Ed pressed against him, wordless sobs pouring from him.
There was nothing Maes could do, and this felt like a long time coming. It was well known that Ed rarely cried, especially not in front of anyone else. If Ed was comfortable with crying around him, then he'd let him.
Within a few minutes, Ed's sobs had quieted to whimpers and sniffles. Maes rested his chin on the top of his head. The poor kid, how long had he been holding all of this in? He was a kid; he shouldn't have to be carrying all of this. Maes felt his eyes tear up in sympathy before he pushed them down.
After a few minutes, Ed finally pulled away, wiping his hand down his flushed face and turning away from Maes to bury his face in his hands. "Sorry, you shouldn't have had to see that. I'm ok," He wasn't ok.
"You don't have to be ok, Ed. Hey, what's going on?"
Ed let out a sob, curling into himself. "Tomorrow is October 3rd,"
What was October 3rd?"
"What's special about October 3rd?"
Ed looked at him, tears dripping down his face. "It's the day Al and I burned down our house as a tribute of our resolve, thinking it wouldn't take us this long to get his body back," He said through the tears.
Ed pressed his face into Maes' shoulder and let out a rough sob. It felt like his heart was torn in two.
"And here I am crying over it while Al's at the library searching for any information on the stone. What brother am I? I trapped him in armor and killed mom a second time; I have no right!" Ed sobbed.
All Maes could do was hold him as the body sobbed his heart out. "He hates me; I know he does. He'd never say it. I'd deserve it, though,"
That froze Maes in his seat. Alphonse hating Ed? That was impossible; Alphonse wouldn't hate anyone, let alone his brother, who had tried to do the best he could for him since the age of 5.
"Ed, hey, he doesn't hate you. He loves you more than anything," Maes tried.
"How do you know," Ed spat, "I took away everything that he loved. I deserve to be hated for that. He's only sticking around so I can get his body back, and then he'll leave like I deserve, just like everyone else does eventually,"
Maes' heart was officially broken. How had this kid carried this much every day for the past three years?
"We're talking about Alphonse Elric? The kid who hides kittens in his armor on rainy days? The Alphonse Elric who literally forgave his kidnapper that one time? That Alphonse Elric?"
Ed only sniffed, smile quirking at his lips at the memory of Alphonse, insisting his captor not have a harsh punishment. "I was so mad at him that night. He didn't understand that he could've been killed. He's so good. I'm. . .not," The blond said in a small voice.
"Why do you say that?" Maes asked, shocked by how little the blond thought of himself.
Ed picked at his sleeve, letting out a shaky sigh. He shrugged. "When I committed human transmutation," He swallowed, eyes squeezing shut and tears dripping down his face, "I. . .brought something back that shouldn't have. It was mom. . .but it wasn't her," His eyes gained a distant look.
"Ed?" He nudged the boy.
Ed shook his head, removing himself from the trance that he'd been in. "It was her, but she was so disfigured, and I didn't even recognize her. T-Then s-she d-died. I killed my mom again," Ed struggled through his tears. "How am I not supposed to blame myself for that? I'm the reason we're even going through this,"
"Ed, you have to let go of this guilt. I can say almost for certain nobody hates or blames you. You are good . You've helped so many people. You deserve to heal, even if you don't think you do,"
"What if I can't heal on my own?" Ed whispered. His eyes were drooping with exhaustion.
"You don't have to. You have so many people here to help you. You just need to open up, kid,"
Ed nodded briskly and buried his face in Maes' side. His shoulders were shaking with exhaustion and remaining tears. It was ten minutes before he grabbed the blanket and laid it over Ed.
He stood as quietly and gently as he could and placed a pillow underneath the kid's head and maneuvered him into a comfortable position. The boy whined quietly, now sleeping features twisting before curling into himself and cuddling into the couch.
Maes smiled and began to retreat up the stairs to kiss Elicia goodnight and finally get in bed when he saw Gracia sitting on the steps, a smile on her face. He smiled and slid down beside her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Y'know," Maes says after a moment, "Sometimes I forget he's still a child, and then he breaks apart, and I realize that he's fifteen years old,"
Gracia hums. "When we were fifteen, we were worried about so many different unimportant things,"
"Ah, to be that age again," Maes smiles, pulling Gracia up to stand with him.
"Will he be ok?" Gracia wonders aloud.
Maes smiles. "He'll be ok, even though it may take some time. He'll get through it,"
Gracia smiles, and Maes takes her hand and follows her up to bed.