Chapter 83

Shikamaru has expected Temari to erupt, swearing and shouting abuse at him before demanding that he should leave but amazingly she looks more confused than furious.

Staring quietly at her face, watching the flit of her emotions as they range from bewilderment to disbelief then to something that looks like excitement. Her eyes seem to glaze over with something akin to pleasure and her lips, they seem to want to smile only Temari's not willing to allow them yet.

He has accused her that she's capable of pretending she likes him... to dupe him. He wonders if she's now debating with herself if she should. And whatever decision she has come up with, she seems happy with it.

Shikamaru's throat feels parch so he swallows, his adam's apple moving with the revealing action. His palms are sweaty...Damn it Temari is too hard to read. Once she opens her mouth to say she likes him back, he's going to march out that door and leave her.

But she doesn't speak as the seconds tick by. She just continues to look at him with mixed disbelief and what seems to be veiled glee, like she wants to smirk but is controlling herself not to.

Shikamaru's rubs his clammy hands on his sides, tempted to lie and state that he's lying.

With a deep breath, he raises casual eyes, meeting the glint in hers, ready to twists his own words and get himself out of the mess he just made—only... damn it! Why the hell are her eyes brimming with ill-concealed excitement?

She can't be that cruel as to use his feelings against him or she can actually.

Shikamaru mentally shakes his head. He doesn't know.

All he knows is that the ball is in Temari's court now. Whatever she decides to do with his feelings is up to her. He's not going to bail himself out of the shit he's dig himself into...Not this time. He's tired of acting like he couldn't care less what happens to her. Too tired of wanting to watch her closely while being so damn careful every time, masking his longing, too afraid that he's going to slip.

Tch, the mask has slipped.

If she demands for him to leave…then so be it.

Hesitating, recognizing that the answer to his question will seal his fate. Projecting a calmness he doesn't feel, Shikamaru asks, "You will allow me to continue protecting you and her, won't you?"

"Her?" Temari reiterates, her confusion jolting her from her own thoughts.

"You said she's my child. I have decided to label it—her."

"It could be a him, ass!" scowls Temari but still she can't hide her wonder upon hearing Shikamaru finally claiming his own child. "So you believe me that it's yours?"

The same angry expression as earlier flits across Shikamaru's eyes, quickly hidden, before he's able to agree, "Yes. It could even be a them."

Seeing the fleeting look on Shikamaru's face, Temari's blossoming happiness is dented by her guilt. Shikamaru has a right to be furious. He has been lied to—well, never directly but nonetheless she helped him cement his conclusion that the baby isn't his.

She's actually grateful that he is taking the issue of her deceit about the baby better than her worst imagination...

In her best imagination, this moment—the moment that she finally tells him the truth about their child, she has imagined him grovelling on his knees asking her to forgive him for thinking the worst of her. It is an awesome fantasy wherein she will shove it in his face that she's not a slut. She will be laughing while he will be too overtaken by remorse. She will have him then in any terms she wants.

But in her worst imagination, she has pictured him with fury lurking in his eyes, blaming her for being pregnant. Afterall, more than two months ago, it was her who had approached him and offered the use of her body. It was that act that had left her knocked up. And now, the Kazekage wants the child and is willing to wage war with Konoha for it.

In her worst nightmare, Shikamaru does not want any part of their kid. Sometimes, she believes that the reason why he prefers thinking the kid is Sasuke's is because he knows he could have done nothing to stop it. Learning that the one she's carrying is his, she suspects he will not jump for joy but be dismayed instead.

As the days passed, her imagination has ran in circles.

Now that the truth is out, he's not jumping with joy as she wants him to but he's not pointing finger either which she fears.

Actually, seeing the anger seeping through his control is a welcome sight. Temari wants to believe it's because he hates to be lied at. It shows more than anything that he at least has emotions invested in the child. "Yeah, it could be a twin," she finally replies back, her red lips turning up in a small tentative smile.

"If we're going to have a twin we better make this marriage work then." Shikamaru's own lips quirk into an answering smile. "Deal?"

Temari hesitates. This happiness…it feels too sudden and so unexpected. Shikamaru claims he likes her and that he has no ulterior motive in declaring it. He just likes her. And he has accepted that the child is his with less fight or elation as she has expected. He is saying he likes them both. It all sounds so perfect. Too perfect.

There are butterflies in the pit of her stomach just thinking about the future. It's just that the now seems so unreal after all they have been through, after all that has been said in the past. But then if she doesn't grasp this chance. If she continues to second guess him, if she persist in questioning what he says, she'll end up second guessing herself, questioning herself. No, this time she won't listen to that voice in her head. This time she'll listen to the butterflies in her belly, to the thrum in her veins, to the tingle in her skin when she heard Shikamaru says he likes her. Whatever it is, she'll enjoy the feeling. Anyway time will show his real intention.

And why won't he really like her? She might be bitchy at times but she has redeeming qualities. Aside from being easy on the eye, she knows she pleases him when they—have sex. She's strong and determined. She's one helluva kunoichi. She doesn't cling and she has taught him shouji too.

Shikamaru's a simple man with simple needs. She probably fills them all and some.

So if he says he likes her, there's no reason for her not to believe him. And if he likes her, he must like their kid. He must want to be its father the same way she wants to be its mother.

"Yeah, ass. Deal," Temari answers, having difficulty repressing her anticipation. "We'll work on making our marriage work."

Shikamaru expels his breathe he doesn't know he is holding. "Good. Let's seal that with a kiss then."

Not giving Temari time to say yes, Shikamaru's head swoops down. Locking his lips with Temari's, seeking an opening and deepening the kiss. After a few seconds without air, Shikamaru lifts his head only to rest his forehead above her brows. "Temari?"

"Hmm?" Temari replies, almost in a daze.

Shikamaru tucks his wife's head beneath his chin as he embraces her, enfolding her in his arms tightly. His heart beats—fast—in tandem with hers. "Thank you," he answers softly. He even smiles, unseen by the woman in his arms.

About the baby, whether it is his or not—he doesn't want to think about it. He's just glad he doesn't hear her say she likes him too...not when she hasn't denied that she's still repaying him back.

—o0o—

They make love that night.

Temari sees the light of happiness shine in Shikamaru's eyes just like the first time they made love. She feels her value. It is her. She's the reason why his eyes glint with wonder, with awe...and she's daring to believe, with love.

As Shikamaru moves within her, he murmurs, "I'm home."

"Yes," Temari replies. She now understands. Shikamaru doesn't belong to Suna nor to Konoha. He belongs to her. And everything that happened in the past…he truly doesn't blame her existence for any of it.

Shikamaru doesn't hate her.

A single tear slides downward from Temari's closed lid as she climaxes, her body arching off the bed as her arms encircle the body above her tightly, anchoring herself to him.

She has no reason to hate her own existence anymore.

When Shikamaru rolls to his side of the bed, catching his breath, Temari snuggles into his embrace. "I'm cold. Get the covers up, ass," she mumbles, contented.

TBC

~9 14,19 13AF P11 20 13~