Warning: This chapter contains depictions of violence, gore, and death alongside very mild sexual references, please read at your own discretion.
The Joker loved a good introduction and he got just this with this gal. Staring into her huge orbs as they reflected every emotion that flickered through them, it was almost like watching his favorite movie, if he had one that is. This movie was mildly more interesting though, despite the slacking jaw and her on the verge of passing out from not breathing, this gal showed no other signs of fear, especially in her eyes. Surprising, frankly, as he had seen fear in the eyes of even the most battle-hardy when they came upon his glorious figure.
Looking her over, she was all around what many would call "Cute as a button". Big blue eyes, small but plump mouth, round but delicate features, thick blonde hair that almost looked like a golden halo around her cherub face though obviously dyed as he noticed the darkness of her brows and the roots on her head. If she was younger, he might have demanded to know why Tony employed kids at this joint, but she was just beginning to show the signs of a life that had been lived. Having no use for age, he had no idea how mere mortals tended to group those between young and old, wasn't youth a personality trait? A collection of exuberance, playfulness, discovery, and experimentation as you learned the insides and outsides of the world around you? If that was the case, he was the youngest fella in all of Gotham, probably the world.
He looked away for a second, allowing her to let out the air in her lungs. As much as he would enjoy watching someone choke from the very shock of him, he was more interested in his current schtick and planned on sticking to it, for the moment at least. Peering back, he shot out his hand to hover over her halo of gold before patting her head. That's what you did with pretty toys like her right?
Harley gaped, feeling like a fish as she felt the Joker pat her head like she was a puppy who needed comforting. She sputtered, "Wha?" and she felt a blush creep up her neck onto her face. She wanted to scold herself, unsure of how the simple, most likely patronizing action from him caused her to feel so silly.
The Joker seemed less affected by what was occurring and rolled his eyes upward. "Does anyone here know how to say a complete sentence, other than moi that is?" His smile became lopsided, and Harley wondered if internally he was patting his own ego as he had with her head. A moment later and he was straightening up, tugging on his lapels slightly before snapping his long fingers. "Grab some chairs and put them in front of the stage, sweets." Turning away, he let his sliding steps hit the still blundering Tony, who never left the floor, in the ribs before stepping over him. "And Tony, you'll be taking notes."
She gathered her little bit of wits and hopped out of the booth, letting her body do the known action of working at The Variety for so many years and setting up chairs. She heard Deegan come back with Scott in tow, Scott arguing with an annoyed tone that fell to complete silence when the scene unfolded in front of him. Harley already began sitting down, not keen on the idea of leaving The Joker waiting. Deegan led Scott with a hand on his shoulder to the chair next to hers, Tony soon sat in the one next to him and gathered up the pen and paper from his former employee. Deegan took up a post at the platformed stage entrance like he was the guard. Harley felt the corner of her lips twitch, finding the idea of average Deegan guarding someone so deadly and unique kinda funny.
Said deadly and unique fella fiddled about in the back of the dark stage until he got a single stage light to shine front and center. 'Of course, he would know how to work stage lighting'. It was kinda impressive really, but she'd be lying if that was the focus of her impression right now. Her heart started to pound as he took to the light. 'He's so...beautiful' Truly, he looked like a surreal piece of art, bright swirling colors and chaos that culminated into a clown who always deserved the spotlight. The urge to just be on stage with him started to overwhelm her, all the thoughts of the boredom and her stress with life settling into a heavy weight in her stomach. Harleen never got the stage, let alone the spotlight. Her studies in psychiatry started to tick off boxes for herself. 'Self-deprecating...check, emotional guarding...check, abandonment issues...check, self-sabotaging...check, trauma...check.' It could go on, but she knew she had a lot of internal issues that made her constantly want excitement and attention but never getting the guts to do anything. 'heh, internal...guts, get it?'
He could barely make out the three people that made up his audience and he preferred it that way. Honestly, they weren't very deserving, only Batman and sometimes the masses of Gotham could seem worthy of his grand performances, his ultimate comedy. Still, he was always about style.
Clearing his throat he addressed the three, "The Variety is under new management and though you all found yourself gainfully employed under my note-taker here... we're gonna do some new interviews, for my sake." Oh, how fun this would be, all of them squirming being interviewed by him. He didn't actually care, but setting up the punchline was just one of his many specialties.
Putting on his best serious face, he aimed his gaze at the center chair, leaning to the edge of the spotlight for a better view.
" So, uh…" his mind already losing the schmuck's name to a million other more important things, "name?"
Harley peered to her right, Scotts knuckles were turning white as he grasped his pants. His brows were furrowed, almost knitted together but he was trying his best not to let his voice reflect his body.
"My name is Scott Bridgers".
The Joker nodded his head rapidly as if told something very important. "Well, Scotty, what do you do here?"
"I'm a manager and I find acts, I also perform sometimes."
Harley noticed Scott's voice soften at the last part. She knew he wasn't an idiot, despite Joker's interests in the comedy club they all seemed to know that he would react to any comedian. Not that a comedian would be a threat, but that someone even thought they could live here in Gotham and tell jokes was an offense. That was the Joker's job and only his. Guy once joked about Joker's attempt at a Smilex tax, bet it would be fair to assume he felt very similar about jokes as well.
She watched as the new boss's green eyebrows rose, his lips curling up to a malicious smile, "Oh is that so? You're a joker too?"
Scott instantly hit self-preservation mode, words rapidly tumbling out.
"No, well kinda but not like you at all, I couldn't possibly have your sense of humor, I just- well- like observing the world around me, I do observational humor you see, and you don't have to worry about me, I'll be out of here soon...I'm going on tour, I can just quit and you won't ever have to see me again-"
Joker raised a hand, signaling for him to stop. "You wound me, Scotty boy, so quick to split without even considering what I could offer. How about this, you can go on your merry way, even with my hurt feelings, you just gotta do one thing for me…"
Harleen felt like her body was buzzing, the weight in her stomach sinking further as she looked up at the villain on stage to the man beside her, she knew what he was gonna say.
"You just got to tell me a joke."
Scott's eyes widen and she could see his fear-addled brain try to come up with some kind of joke that would please the man with a specific idea of what a good joke entailed.
"S-sure, I mean my routine doesn't really work with oneliners b-but…"
"Just tell a joke, certainly you've observed something funny in Gotham that can be told without all this exposition…"
Harley wanted to grimace, Scott wasn't helping his case, the Joker had started cackling.
"W-well I have, I just need a moment, I promise you-"
Joker's cackling had stopped, his voice turned to anger and shot fear right down her spine. She wondered if Scott was starting to crap his literal pants.
"Tell the damn joke."
Scott's eyes glistened, tears of frustration starting to cling to them and he finally pushed out his joke.
"The only time I ever get excited about a red light is when I-I need to read a text."
Harleen just stared at him, unable to look away. That wasn't good, maybe he was trying to fail so the Joker's ego would be placated, maybe-
She jumped from the loud bang, her eyes barely registering the blood that shot away from's Scott's head. Some droplets splattering against her face as Scott's brand new corpse slumped down in the chair beside her. Looking over at Tony, he was shaking, his chair rattling against the floor as he started to make heaving sounds obviously struggling to keep the bile from reaching up to his throat. Harley though felt little, she had seen this all before and knew the slacking of a dead body and the feel of blood splatter on her cheek. She dealt with all this before and she loved Guy, she could barely tolerate Scott. Still, it meant that she was probably going to experience the same fate, so shouldn't she be feeling something? Fear perhaps?
'Lack of Self-preservation...check'.
Looking up she met the Joker's gaze, he was impatiently waiting for the attention to return to him. "Horrible timing, too much setup…" He smirked, "Plus, I hate observational humor." Harley watched how he glowed from above them, and listened intently, feeling her own smirk form as the words tumbled from her lips, "Guess he ain't observing much anymore ay, Mistah Joker?" Her hands flew to her mouth, she had really stepped in it this time.
What did that daffy dame just say? He could hardly believe it, this little doll of a gal with a smirk on her face and blood on her face just told her own little joke, as if only the two of them would get it. Usually, it would have enraged him, but staring down at the scene in front of him was all too hilarious and her well-timed response was a nice surprising cherry on his cake. He could feel the laughter starting to spill out, gripping on to his sides as he let it fill the room, it kicking up even harder as he watched the other man fail at controlling his dry heaving and the daffy dame lower her hands to show off a goofy smile that almost, just almost, made his heart twitch in reaction much like it did when Batman showed up.
He started pointing at her rapidly, her own hands clenching in front of her chest as if to protect her heart. He saw her smile falter just slightly, her blue orbs filling up with worry, the flecks of blood starting to drip down her face and he felt a twitch somewhere else, somewhere lower, somewhere too primal and grunting. Now that was a surprise but who could blame him, that part of him still popped up from time to time but never without watching fear dance across a person face or one of his various assortments of slicing devices penetrating flesh as he listened to the crescendo of noises as their eyes dulled and then finally silence. This was different though and he wondered if smushing her out of existence, leaving only a bleeding red pulp behind would relieve the feeling. Maybe not yet, it wasn't like he was one to allow himself cake and also the enjoyment of eating it.
Mulling it all over, her ridiculous name popped forward and it struck him that even her name was a treat for him. Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinzel, Harley Quinn, Harlequin. 'So full of surprises.' His laughter slowly died down to softer chuckles, "You get it, don't you toots?"
Get it? Harley's mind swirled at the question. Her worry hadn't faded yet but her giddiness at making this man laugh shot even higher at the question. Her ego was being stroked at the idea that he saw something special in her and the tingling of real excitement was coursing in her blood for the first time in ages. "Maybe? I think I might?"
Honestly, she wasn't sure, she definitely saw the twisted humor in everything unfolding at the moment. His eyes grew hooded, and in another scenario with another person, she would take the look to be attraction but she was going to assume it was definitely something else. "Don't worry you will, I'll make sure of it but first, time for your interview, Harley."
"Sure thing Mistah Joker" Harley nodded firmly. She usually felt herself bristle at someone calling her that without knowing her well first but she certainly wasn't going to correct him of all people. "Are you a comedian as well, Harley?"
"Nope-"
"Well what do you do at this fine establishment"
"A little of everything, cept the telling of jokes part, I help set up, I prep for the acts, stock and even take orders from the customers."
"Oh how dull, what did you do before this enthralling gig?"
"I was studying to be a psychiatrist actually but dropped out. If I had stayed I'd probably be finishing up my residency right about now. I've kinda only worked service jobs, similar stuff, things that keep food on the table and most of the bills paid."
"Why did you drop out, Harley?"
Her brow scrunched up, not wanting to answer the question but knowing she had to make a believable lie, at least it would be a half-truth.
"I got bored, the subject matter was interesting, but the school work and the people weren't."
He gave her an incredulous look, he was good. She had heard he had an almost super ability at reading people. She wasn't gonna be able to tell a half-truth again.
Luckily, he didn't seem to want to push it much to her relief.
"Mhmm, and any other talents you might have?" He wiggled his eyebrows, making it sound more suggestive than what it actually was.
Harley blushed, looking down and scolding herself for reacting so foolishly so many times to this man.
"I used to do gymnastics. I was really good, Olympics good."
He seemed to enjoy this, clapping his hands. "That is very much a talent I'd love to see, my harlequin."
His harlequin? She had been called that before but to hear him utter it in such a possessive manner made a shiver shoot down her spine. She started to wonder if the situation was becoming one where she was gonna survive this encounter but might come to regret the surviving part.
"Right now, Mistah Joker?"
Rolling his eyes, he sharply responded, "Of course right now, you daffy woman."
She quickly stood, and headed backward, farther from the stage till she had enough room to start cartwheeling and seamlessly transitioning to just walking on her hands. She was glad she had chosen to wear black slacks and a simple red blouse that had enough length to stay tucked into said slacks. When she approached the bar she righted herself and spun to look at the stage. He was watching her so intently, his eyes sparkling wildly even from this distance. She felt her heart pounding again and in a desperate urge to make it stop set into another cartwheel letting it turn to back handsprings, knowing the space well and her instincts letting her body perform a routine she would never forget.
It was exciting, doing this in front of someone so dangerous, but it all came crashing down as she felt her hands slipping against the floor. It wasn't her fault, well not intentionally, she felt the liquid hit her hands and she cursed herself mentally, 'I forgot about the freaking blood". It had pooled behind the chairs and her body worked at lessening any harm as she slid forcefully into the chair Scott's corpse was chilling out on. With a loud "oof", she felt herself bound back slightly from the force and she was lucky to land on her tushy, though now that was also soaked in blood. Scott's body and the chair laid sprawled before her and Tony was throwing up again. Harley suddenly very thankful in some twisted way that it was blood and not vomit she slid on.
She stood up, unsure of herself, and decided to act like she was back at her gymnast days, acting like a klutz to get others to laugh. Harley lifted her arm ups, palms facing the sky as she faced the Joker and beamed a smile. Giving her best exuberant "Tada!"
He was quiet and her stomach knotted. She kept her pose, looking at Deegan whose average self had almost disappeared from the scene until now. Deegan was staring at her like she was mad, she wanted to snarl at him. Who was he to judge her, hmm?
Another gunshot rang out against the walls of the mostly empty room and she followed Deegan's gaze to see Tony had now been shot as well. His body had fallen over into his bile, his blood beginning to mix with it. 'Whadda way to go.'
Hearing a small movement from the stage, she watched as the Joker jumped from it, somewhere in the aftermath of her spill he had removed his gloves, gun still being gripped with his long fingers. He seemed to dance towards her, easily stepping over the knocked-over chair and the corpse with his even longer legs. Harley let her arms drop, unsure of how to handle herself. His smile was wide and when he reached her she felt the gun lightly hit the bottom of her chin, forcing her to look up at him. Audibly gulping, he let a few chuckles out, seeming to enjoy her very candid reaction.
"You flubbed the landing, Harley." His voice was a purr.
She felt her lashes lower, bashfulness filling her and she worried the look could be mistaken for flirting.
"Yeah, I didn't account for tha blood, Mistah Joker."
He scoffed, "No more of that, Mister Joker was my father." He was teasing her but what else could she expect.
"Oh, okay, Mistah J…" she trailed off, ending her natural response short so as not to disobey him. He seemed to enjoy it, his eyes crinkling in amusement and he used the gun tucked under her chin to playfully boop her nose before pocketing it.
Leaning down closer, his face almost pressed up against hers, "How do you think your interview went, Harls?"
Her mind felt like it was splitting in two, adrenaline rushing through her at the contrasting fear and excitement. She had no real response as it wasn't likely she could understand his thought process, she barely understood her own at the moment. Less than two hours ago she was worried about being bored and in debt, everything was currently on its head.
She felt him shift his head, his lips brushing ever so slightly against her ear.
"My silly little Harley Quinn...you're hired."
Harley pulled away, so she could look at him with blatant shock on her face. Mistah J's face never lost the amusement it held, and she flinched slightly as his hand gave her a few sharp pats to her cheek forcing her to move past her tumultuous emotional state.
"You good with that, toots?"
Harley nodded, a grin growing on her face,
"Sure am, Boss!"
At that his laughter filled the room, sharp and loud, and she was thankful she had moved away slightly to save her ear.
Harleen Quinzel, slash that, Harley Quinn was now employed by Gotham's most notorious rogue. No idea what the pay would be like, she was sure there were no benefits but it wasn't like she ever got those anyways. She thought back to Guy like she had so many times today, thought of his studies on Chaos, how people were never really in control and how she was being shown yet again how he had been right and in extension, how the rogue towering over her was right.
'Imminent and complete breakdown...check.'
Author Notes
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this chapter.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to post a chapter every week, given that my current course load isn't overwhelming at certain points while writing this.
I also still apologize about any spacing issues there may be, I'm still trying to figure out not only the sites to post this work to but how I would like the format of the piece to look. I'm always open to suggestions or advice about this.
If I can expand on my thought process with all this I'd like to note that I am very much inspired by mainly the comic and animated portrayals of these characters. Over the years, after reading the 2000's Harley Quinn comic, I have reflected (as if it's not obvious) on the addition of Guy Kopski to Harley's origins and it really made me go, "Huh, what if the trauma of that event made her life go a bit differently."
Funnily enough, I finished this chapter after speaking at an event about Mental Health and how it affects Higher Education and vice versa and it kinda clicked for me how I saw the trauma of that event changing her course in life in this au. I also really love the idea of her connecting with the Joker before they ever met because of her own one bad day.
I'll also admit I'm a bit intimidated with writing the Joker's perspective but think it's important to the plot as a whole. It will still be mostly from Harleys perspective, as it's more natural for me to write but I hope my addition of his perspective is a good one for the readers. I do plan on sticking to a mostly manipulative, sadistic Joker, though that doesn't mean he doesn't have some kinder or sentimental reactions to Harley, instead I think those things propel him to react harshly.
Anyways, thanks again for reading and please leave a review or any critiques or suggestions.