Anne took a deep breath before she mustered up her courage to step out of the carriage. The past few months had flown by so quickly and she didn't know if she was ready to face the court. When she had signed those papers 4 months ago, Henry had smiled genuinely at her for the first time in so long and she had a moment where she felt the loss so strongly she almost reached out to rip up the document that ended her marriage. But she had stayed her hand and let Cromwell collect them. She had tried to ignore the smug look in Cromwell's eyes. She had wanted to see his head on the block, but she had done all that was in her power. She held a level of satisfaction knowing that Cromwell would not be at court when she returned. Henry had listened to her when she told him that Cromwell was not to be trusted. Henry agreed that his involvement in her trial was suspicious and he had agreed that his services would be better suited away from court. Anne was grateful to Henry for making this concession for her.
She had been quickly whisked away to Pembroke until the gossip had calmed-another thing she was grateful for. Her estates were well kept in her absence and she relished in the quiet time she had to reflect on her life and her choices. She was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her daughter. As soon as she saw her little girl, she knew that she had done the right thing. If she had died in that tower, she would have left her precious daughter all alone in the world with only an angry king to rely upon. Holding her daughter close and feeling the softness of her hair, she thanked God for giving her such a precious gift.
The time alone had gone by so quickly and in no time she received the summoning to court. Henry's summons came with a short note from the Seymour girl expressing her well wishes and explaining some information about the new queen's apartments. As if Anne was not well versed in court life and behavior! Anne had wanted to throw it in the fire, but refrained. Instead she had penned a note thanking the queen for her consideration. Anne knew that in order to survive life at court she would have to bite her tongue and force herself to submit to that pale girl who used to be her lady in waiting.
Thinking about Jane Seymour was strange for Anne. She was stuck in this limbo of feelings for the woman. One woman had simultaneously saved her, yet thrown her down; taken everything she could possibly take from her, yet handed her back her life and her daughter. Henry had made it very clear who had prompted him towards his mercy. Anne was sure he had wanted her to be grateful to his new queen, but Anne just couldn't find it within herself. Not when she would be forced to watch as Jane enjoyed all the comforts that used to be Anne's. Anne was determined to be the picture of icy courtesy during her time as the Queens lady. No one would be able to accuse her of not being able to put up with this.
Anne stepped down onto the ground outside of Whitehall palace and looked up. Her daughter had arrived earlier that day to settle into her court apartments. Anne liked to imagine that her daughter was watching her arrive, so she gracefully handed her gloves to her maid and walked towards the main gates. She was quickly ushered through the palace. Anne recognized that they were taking her through the less populated areas. She did not mind. She would face the whole court later that afternoon, she'd rather not have to face anyone now. She was shown into some comfortable rooms and she took a moment to appraise them. They were nothing compared to her old rooms, but then she hadn't expected them to be. They were still relatively large and well furnished. Henry had made sure that she had a window facing out to the courtyard and a large writing desk. She looked out to her carriage and saw her maid, Nan, instructing the men on where to take her luggage. She sat down at her desk and appreciated the silence. She could make this work.
Nan soon had all of Anne's luggage unpacked and they worked together trying to find the correct outfit to wear for her presentation. Anne finally decided on something elegant, yet muted. She picked a finely made black gown with silver embroidery. She picked out modest jewelry from the box that now held everything she owned. Henry had made it very clear that he didn't want her overshadowing the new queen. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to do that since he took back all the Jewels of England. She was left with the jewels of her childhood and whatever he had gifted her before their marriage. She very much wanted to inform him that he had actually given her the queen's jewels before they spoke vows, but she knew it would only anger him.
Dressed and ready, she excused Nan. The usher would be arriving any second and she needed a moment alone. She sat at her vanity and stared at her own face looking back at her. She was still a beautiful woman, but she could see the faint lines that her problematic marriage had etched into her face. She had some lines around her mouth that she knew had appeared in the beginning when she had not been able to keep the smile off her face. She had been naive to think that things would go so smoothly and that Katherine would step aside. They were far less pronounced than the worry lines surrounding her eyes. The clear, physical evidence that the happy times of her marriage were overshadowed by the pain made her frown. The frown made a line appear in between her brows and she knew that it had first formed when she had given birth to Elizabeth. It had only deepened with each miscarriage she suffered.
The thought of her lost children brought tears to her eyes, but she shook them away. She couldn't afford to be weak-not today. Not when she was supposed to face the court and submit herself publicly to the king and queen. She must find her strength and wear it proudly.
The unwelcome knock came to the door and Anne took a deep breath and stood. After everything she had been through, she knew she could withstand this. /p