Chapter 3: Altair and Vega
Day 1 - Afternoon
With essential supplies weighing on their shoulders and two heavy sleds to pull, the journey through the brutal snow turned out to be more arduous and tiring than anyone could have imagined. Dragging along Rika and Alice, Kirito toiled at the frontlines with Asuna and Suguha as Shino navigated with her keen eyes - not that Hachiman could really tell the difference in a world of endless white from his position with Komachi at the rear of the line.
Sighing, he kept watch as Keiko, Yui and Iroha trudged slowly in the middle - slipping, stumbling and falling on more than one occasion, only to swallow their agony and soldier on in forced endurance, unwilling to be the burden holding everyone back. He could almost feel their unspoken torment and suffering as gusts of howling winds blasted stinging flakes at their faces, as if the elements of the universe were against their quest to escape, intent on burying them for good on the icy hell that was the mountain.
Nonetheless, with each step sinking deep into the frost, water seeping through the plastic bags wrapped around their shoes, Hachiman could only grit his teeth to suppress the urge to return to the false but tempting illusion of safety in the broken remnants of the aircraft. With every twist and turn along the path that was anything but straightforward, and amidst the growing doubt, apprehension and sheer exhaustion, he found his patience and determination tested and stretched to, no, beyond their furthest limits.
Perhaps in the merciless and absurd reality that he had somehow found himself in, the only meaning that was keeping him going was the girl on the sled behind him.
"It's been more than twelve hours, but we haven't seen the slightest trace of search-and-rescue, have we?" Kirito yelled from the front, sensing the growing fatigue among his friends, "Don't worry, if they do come, they'll surely see the notes we left and the SOS sign we made. Alice has a GPS tracker on her as well, though it could've been damaged by the EMP so I wouldn't count on it too much."
"Just tell us how long more we have to go, Shino," Keiko, Yui and Iroha mumbled in unison as they collapsed on the ground, gasping for air.
"Stop asking, I don't know!" she snapped, tearing at her hair in frustration, "Everything looks the same here, it's so disorienting. And we've had to retrace our steps more than a few times because we can't be flying off cliffs or sliding down steep inclines with Rika, Alice and Yukino."
"Hey, what are you trying to imply, that they're some damned burden?" Hachiman demanded, barely able to hold in his own annoyance, "You aren't even helping with the sleds, and god forbid we've been going round in circles under your lead, glasses woman."
"How could you even say that? That's not what I meant at all, you dead-fish eyes idiot!"
"Stop it, you two!" Kirito yelled, throwing down his bag to halt the fight that was about to break out, "Shino, none of us know where we are, so any descent to lower altitudes is progress. Let's just find a place to rest for the night, it's almost sundown anyway.
"Yeah," Hachiman echoed dryly, "I doubt any of us would want to fall into some crevasse in the darkness."
The scramble for shelter in the final hour of daylight was rougher and tougher than Yukino had braced herself for, and she could only bite her lip and grunt in agony whenever the sled ran over a rock. The pain and unforgiving frost seemed to sap her strength, morale and life itself with every breath, and it was only when Shino scouted out a spot beneath an overhanging ledge that she was finally able to catch a break from the exertion.
Amidst plunging temperatures, a fire was hastily set, made of branches and stone as well as strips of paper torn from her favourite book, not that she was or would be in any mood to read. Too tired to eat despite the overwhelming hunger, the group huddled around the flame, shivering in the unrelenting cold as Kirito repeatedly reminded everyone to stay well-fed and hydrated for the night.
"Come on, we've got to eat up!" he insisted for the dozenth time, his tireless perseverance finally reaching the fatigued group as they started digging through their bags for much-needed nourishment, producing packs of icy aircraft food which were ravenously devoured as if they were the most delicious gourmets on planet Earth.
"I-I never knew chilled vegetables tasted so good," Suguha remarked as she stuffed herself, warm tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks, "Cold rice too. And frosted potatoes."
"You mean frosty potatoes," Keiko corrected as she waited impatiently for her meal to warm up by the fire.
"Don't eat too quickly or you'll end up choking and wasting food, Sugu," Kirito laughed, patting his little sister on the back, "And remember to leave some for the others."
"Onii-chan!" she scowled, pushing him away, "I-I don't eat that much, don't say as if I do!"
"We all know where those extra portions go anyway," Keiko pouted in envy.
"A-Are you saying that I'm f-f-fat?"
"No, just a certain part of you, I mean."
"Oh," Suguha muttered, realizing what she was referring to, "Don't be jealous, Silica, you still have much room to grow."
"You're just teasing me now," Keiko grumbled, turning red with embarrassment.
"Don't worry about that, Keiko," Kirito assured, ruffling her twin-tails as she turned a brighter shade of crimson, "Just finish your food and go to sleep."
"I-I'm not a little girl, Kirito-san!"
"I know," he smiled, turning to head out once again, "That's why I need you to rest up and join Shino and my little sister with nightguard duties after I'm done with the first shift. It'll be up to you to keep an eye on Rika and make sure Sugu doesn't doze off."
Kirito exhaled deeply as he made himself comfortable atop the overhanging ledge, close enough to the light below in the pitch-black darkness, but far enough to sigh without being seen by his friends. He just needed some fresh air and personal space, he told himself, as the warmth and smoke of the fire was making him drowsy, and in the frosty silence under the naked firmament, he found a strange, melancholic peace amidst the snow-filled serenity.
The merciless ice, the bitter cold - this is just like that time back in Aincrad, isn't it?
Sachi - that was her name. The girl he had tried and failed to save, the girl he had tried and failed to revive, the girl whose real name he would probably never know to the very end.
Yet his conversation with Hachiman earlier in the day had reminded him of just how far he had come from those dark, bitter days - when he had distanced himself from his little sister just because he had found out that she was actually his cousin, when he had almost fought with Klein and his guild members over the event item, when he had retreated into his own isolated shell as a solo beater and stayed away from joining any guild until he met Asuna.
Now here he was, three years later, in yet another cruel hell of a death game, where so many lives were resting on his shoulders and in his hands, where so many friends - old and new - had chosen to place their trust and confidence in him. It was a burden, a duty, a responsibility that weighed heavily on his tired soul and sore body that had laboured harder than ever before, but it was to make up for the guilt of letting her die and the sins of killing - even if they had been members of Laughing Coffin.
"Asuna," he called out as he found her sitting beside him, the ephemeral fragments of the blonde boy in blue slipping from his mind, "I-I wasn't nodding off, I swear."
"You seemed so deep in thought I couldn't bring myself to disturb you," she giggled, draping a jacket over his shivering body, "It's cold out here, are you sure you don't want to go back inside?"
"Thanks for coming, Asuna, but you really don't need to keep watch with me."
"But I want to," she insisted, huddling close for warmth, her long chestnut hair falling freely over his chest, "And the night sky here is beautiful."
"It is, isn't it? Cold and dark but mesmerising in its own way, just like Aincrad."
Asuna nodded but did not reply. She knew, after all, from her science classes at the survivor school that the glittering lights were but illusions in their own right, the after-images of celestial bodies from thousands and millions of light-years away which could have been long dead and gone before she was even born. Yet, just like the specks of data in the wretched death game, they were real all the same - at least to her.
Even if she knew that the stars shone bright because the world had gone dark.
Even if she knew that the halos in the sky were not auroras but the aftermath of high-altitude nuclear explosions that had destroyed human civilisation.
They were all real - just like the hopes and dreams of the Lightning Flash, just like the fears and nightmares of the girl called Yuuki Asuna.
"I-I'm sorry, I–" she began, only to stop when she found her hands tightly clasped in his warm palms, their fingers intertwining in the tranquil silence.
"Let's not think too hard about things that are beyond our control, Asuna," he breathed, turning to gaze at her, "What matters is that we're here together, under the same starlit sky."
"Kirito-kun," she exclaimed, touched, and was about to lean over for a kiss when a soft rumble gripped her stomach.
"Didn't have enough for dinner eh," he laughed, pulling out some bread that he had saved, "Here you go, just like old times."
With trembling fingers, she reached for the simple piece of pastry and brought it to her mouth, tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks as the familiar taste of butter stirred an influx of memories from those years ago when she was a solo player, just like the boy, no, the man who was before her.
"I hope it tastes better than chilled vegetables, cold rice and frosted, I mean, frosty potatoes," he muttered, scratching his cheek in embarrassment, "Nothing will ever be as good as your teriyaki sandwiches though."
"For you," she declared, wiping her tears as she handed him half of the bread that she could not bear to eat alone, "As thanks for everything you've done for me, for us."
"You've done so much more for me, you know, saving me from Godfree and Kayaba and reviving me in Underworld to name a few."
"And you saved me from Kayaba, Sugou and PoH too," she pouted, irritated, "So do you want me to feed you or what?"
"Aww, I want bread too, onii-chan!" a voice interrupted, and the two lovebirds jumped, startled, inadvertently letting go in surprise as they saw the trio approaching, the two hours of their shift having flown by at the blink of an eye.
"Sugu, come here and turn around," he motioned as she innocently obliged. Grinning mischievously, he picked up the fallen piece of bread and stuffed it down her back, causing her to squeal and yelp at the icy sensation on her skin.
"W-What was that for!"
"To wake you up of course," Kirito pinched her cheek playfully as Shino and Keiko watched on in unrestrained mirth, "Don't you know that the habit of napping runs deep in the Kirigaya bloodline?"
"So does kendo, the art of the sword," she noted, picking up a branch to show off her moves, "I won't let you down, I promise."
"Just don't catch a cold, okay?" he reminded, draping the jacket over her before leaving with Asuna.
Barely half an hour later, Shino found herself having to prod the two with sticks, only for their eyelids to droop again. Frustrated but unable to bring herself to be annoyed, she could only watch over the two girls as they tossed around in their shallow slumber, undoubtedly haunted by nightmares under the pale moonlight.
Rest well and sleep tight, she whispered as she poked them in the chest for the last time, musing over the sharp contrast, I swear I'll be strong for you too.
Komachi grunted in protest as Hachiman tugged on her frazzled ahoge, utterly drained and exhausted from helping him drag his girlfriend along for the past half a day. Nonetheless, Kirito and his friends had completed their shift, and as much as he did not want to trouble his little sister any further, it was the Service Club's turn to contribute to the team.
I guess I'll just have to do it myself with my 108 skills of being a loner.
"Hikki, if you don't mind, I can stand in for her," a voice suggested, and he hesitated for a moment before relenting.
"Thanks, Yui, but you really don't have to," he muttered as he quickened his pace in the silence, trudging towards the lookout point, only to realize that she had stopped in her tracks, bowing deeply in apology.
"Sorry for slapping you last night," she stammered, tears of guilt and regret streaming down her cheeks, "I-I didn't know what was happening. I-I just woke up from a horrible nightmare and I was tied up and in pain and you were holding me down, I–"
"I understand, and if you want, you can slap me all over again for Yukino as well," he cut her short, unable to look her in the eye, "It was the only way we could think of, but it must've been a traumatic experience to be restrained in your sleep and operated on without anaesthesia. I'm sorry we never had a chance to explain."
"Hikki, I–"
"Sorry, Yui, I hate this too. I really think we should keep our distance for a while and pretend that it never happened."
In the cold, speechless quiet, he was nearly pushed off his feet as she ran over to hug him from behind, holding on tightly, as if never wanting to let go.
"I don't want that!" she cried with all her breath, "How can I ever pretend that you and Yukinon didn't save my life? All because I-I–"
"Yui," he exhaled, turning around to pry her arms away gently, "I really don't mind the slap but it does hurt a little to be misunderstood."
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, I–"
"It's okay, I'm sure we'll get through this with time," he assured, cautiously reaching out to pat her head as she began to sob uncontrollably, "I'm just glad that you're holding up well, so let's begin our watch together, shall we?"
Yukino smiled from her sled as she watched the two make up in their own way, sighing in relief. The pain in her chest and stomach had worsened after the initial numbness had worn off, and amidst the nagging feeling of dread, she truly hoped that it would turn out to be nothing more than a broken rib from the tray that had somehow become dislodged during the impact.
Inhaling deeply, she bit down on her lip to stave off the excruciation, resisting the growing urge and temptation to swallow more of the pain pills that she had already probably overdosed on, having eaten more than a few tablets just to get through the day. Yet all it had done was to delay the torment and agony, which was now beginning to engulf her with a vengeance, and amidst the raw, unattenuated suffering, she could not help but start to think of negative thoughts.
Stop, Yukino, she told herself as she dug her nails deep into the frost, you'll get through this. You must - for Hachiman and Yui, and for Komachi, Iroha and yourself.
Somehow, in the falling snow, she found herself reminiscing the days in the Service Club with Hachiman and Yui, the three of them together, and with Hachiman, the two of them alone. She found herself back on the stage and the hall and the ballroom, where she had worked with so many friends outside of her comfort zone as a loner, revisiting the mall and Destiny Land and the aquarium, where fate had somehow entangled the three, and brought the two of them closer to each other.
There were many more things she wanted to do, to experience, to achieve, to enjoy. And there were so many words that she wanted to say, for herself and to that dead-fish eyed loner.
Yet here she was, hiding from everyone as she focused her exhausted mind on the ephemeral images and memories and fragments of a bygone time, afraid that they would melt away, forgotten, like the ice in her palms. Her chest hurt, her stomach hurt, her legs hurt - she was paralysed in absolute agony, and she was alone on a sled in the bitter, unforgiving cold.
Unable to hold in the tears, she could only let them flow.
A/N: Chapter title inspired by Steins;Gate 0. Some precious moments of levity among the SAO characters with some throwbacks and references to canon.
With this chapter, we begin the first arc (Chapter 3 to 7).