Chapter 6: Breakdown
Day 5
Two days had passed since her death, and they had finally descended the mountain that they were on, only to find themselves in the depths of an uninhabited valley, towering ridges stretching as far as their eyes could see. Supplies were dwindling, and while water was abundant from melting snow, food was increasingly scarce with nine hungry mouths to feed, even at a rationed rate of two meals a day, not that they had managed to salvage much provisions from the broken tail-end of the plane.
With growing hunger from shrinking portions and fatigue from days of endless trekking, tempers frayed as patience wore thin. In the absence of basic comforts often taken for granted in the modern world, from fresh new clothing and underwear to warm showers, the howling winds seemed to chip away at their very spirit and sanity, already scarred from days of stress and insufferable trauma.
Each dreaded step sank deeper into the soft snow as the hope of salvation evaporated like mirages in the cold desert. The sight of more mountains was the final straw, and with a collective sigh of dejection and abject groan of despair, the group collapsed to the ground. Nobody knew where on earth they were, or where the hell they were heading, and dark thoughts were starting to form and fester amidst a nightmare with no end.
"T-This is my fault, isn't it?" Kirito found himself asking in the uneasy silence.
"Yes, it is," Shino hissed, angered by her own failure, "And mine too. We both promised to be strong, Kirito, so we'll have to take responsibility."
"Sorry for dragging you into this mess," was all he could stammer amidst the guilt and self-blame, "I–"
"For the last time, Kirito, you didn't, the universe did," she said sternly, turning around to correct him, "And that's why you shouldn't take on everything by yourself. I'm here too, you know?"
"Shino, thank you," he exhaled, staring at the two sleds behind him that seemed so very empty with only Alice remaining of the three, "I just hope our best will be enough to bring us through."
She nodded but did not reply, unable to bring herself to disagree, as much as she wanted to assure him, to motivate him, just as he had made her believe again in her own strength as the shy, quiet girl who had hidden from herself and the real world.
"We'll just have to do a lot better," Hachiman muttered dryly as Komachi concurred, not that the Service Club was in any state to do so when they were all struggling with their own grief. Things had grown awkward with Yui, as he had kept his distance, unsure of how to deal with her, while Iroha was especially quiet, unable to truly get over the nagging self-hatred of having landed her friends in the current quandary. Kirito's party was no better, and with team morale at rock-bottom and frustrations simmering behind gritted teeth, even he could tell mere words of comfort and consolation would not be enough to stop the situation from boiling over.
"Kirito-kun," the chestnut-haired girl sighed exhaustedly as she let go of the sled, "Sorry, but I'm getting tired of this."
"Asuna?" he froze, surprised.
"I really feel that we should just leave Alice in a well-marked place and help ourselves first," she continued, not mincing her words, "We can always come back for her later."
"H-Huh?" he managed to utter, wondering if he had heard her wrongly the first time.
"We can get to the bottom of this much faster without having to lug her around, Kirito-kun," she explained, her voice firm, "We'll retrieve her as soon as we can, I promise."
"W-What are you saying, Asuna?" he stammered in disbelief, "Are you really suggesting that we leave Alice behind?"
"She's an android, and she's honestly quite heavy," she remarked, trying to keep her growing annoyance in check, "And unlike you and I who'll be starving in a day or two, she doesn't need any food or water, so we can safely leave her here in the snow, at least until we–"
"Asuna," he cut her short, not wanting to hear the rest, "Alice is our friend, not a pile of metal scrap that we can just chuck aside."
"Look, Kirito," she snapped, "If we insist on spending our precious time, energy and resources dragging her along, we may all be dead before we see civilisation again."
"If we followed that logic, we'd be deserting our friends the moment they start to hold us back," he retorted, unshaken in his stand, "We'd never abandon Yukinoshita-san or Rika, and we most definitely wouldn't be abandoning her."
"Why can't you seem to understand that Alice is different from the other two?" she almost shouted, raising her voice, "This is real life, Kirito, not Underworld, she's an android here, not a human. And as much as I hate to say this, if you're right about the EMP and World War Three - which I hope you aren't, she may already be damaged beyond repair. Even if she isn't, we can't fix her ourselves if we're all going to die before we–"
"For the last time, we aren't leaving her behind!" he insisted, unyielding in his resolve, "Would you want to be left behind if you broke a leg and can't keep up with the rest? I'm truly disappointed that you'd even think of leaving her, Asuna, this is worse than that time when you wanted to sacrifice some NPCs in Aincrad just to clear a floor boss–"
"You love her, don't you, Kirito?" she demanded, tears welling in her eyes, "Why else would you be so adamant on dragging her along to the ends of the earth that you'd be willing to risk everything and sacrifice everyone - us, me, your little sister, even yourself, for her sake?"
"Because I care, Asuna, about everyone, including Alice who's a girl just like you. And whatever I do for her here would just be a fraction of what she did for me back in Underworld. She did not once abandon me when I was paralysed just like she is now, with no certainty of me ever coming back. All those months, she fed me, bathed me, clothed me and stayed by my side."
"Whatever it is, you really don't need to help if you don't want to, Asuna, I'll just do it myself. I just ask that you not get in my way."
At this point, she could no longer restrain herself, and the volcano erupted with the heat and pressure of a thousand warheads.
"I won't get in your way alright!" she exploded, completely losing it, tears of rage and jealousy pouring down her cheeks, "I-I really can't believe you said that, Kirito, when Rinko-san told me that I'd given up my chance to escape at the very last moment just to stay with you for an entire lifetime in Underworld, even if you and I can't remember much of it because of that damn memory wipe. Yet all you seem to care about is Alice, Alice and Alice ever since you came back from Underworld, even though we'd all fought so hard to bring you back."
"I. Don't. Care. Anymore." she screeched, breaking down as she stomped away, no longer able to put up with all the hurt and the pain.
"Asuna-san, w-where are you going?" Keiko nervously tried to stop her, only to be shoved aside amidst her anger.
"You're his number one fangirl, aren't you, Silica?" she snarled as the younger girl began to cry, "He's all yours now."
"Asuna!" Shino yelled, reaching out to grab her arm before she could disappear forever.
"Asada Shino, don't think I don't know about your feelings," she spat, her tone full of venom, "It's so obvious that it's pathetic. You, Keiko and Suguha can compete with each other to be his bro-con cousin sister."
Asuna certainly did not expect Shino to lash out in the very next second, slapping her so hard that she fell sideways into the snow.
"Stop, just stop!" heaved the bespectacled girl, breathless from the exertion. In the deafening silence, Asuna could only clutch her wounded cheek, staring at Shino in muted shock and agony.
"Shino, you–"
"Sorry, Asuna," she muttered, rubbing her reddened palms which stung from the impact, "You wouldn't listen, so that was the only way I could–"
She was interrupted by a slap of equal force as the older girl sprung from the ground like lightning, sending her tumbling to the ground in a flash.
"Thank you, Shino," Asuna panted as she grimaced on the floor, "But please don't ever do that again."
"Right back at you," Shino exhaled, refusing the outstretched hand as she crawled back to her own two feet, "You feeling better now? Else it wouldn't have been worth the pain."
"I guess we're even for now."
"I'm not done with you, Asuna, I am not a bro-con," a voice called out, and they turned to see Suguha waving a stick at her face before lowering it with a sigh, "But I do agree with you. I'm tired of dragging Alice five days in a row without knowing if she'd ever wake up, when I'm just so famished and hungry. Onii-chan, I'm starving, you hear?"
"Asuna, Sugu, I–" Kirito was just about to give his reply when Hachiman and Komachi snatched the ropes from his hands, leaving him speechless and stunned.
"Poor choice of words, not that I'm in any position to comment," the dead-fish eyed loner began, sick and tired of dragging along an empty sled which reminded him of too much pain, "As members of the Service Club, we're here to help, so Asuna and Suguha can rest while you and Shino can focus on navigating us the hell out of this valley. Besides, I'm sure you and the girls have your own matters to take care of."
In the cold silence, Asuna walked back to rejoin the group, quietly relenting as Kirito pulled her into a soft hug. They found themselves apologising at the same time, only to look away in embarrassment, unable to face each other amidst the awkwardness.
"Kirito-kun, I–"
"It's okay, Asuna, we'll talk about this at a better time," he noted as he strode over to join Shino, "I know we have our differences, but I still love you all the same."
With that, he led them forward with renewed energy and determination, having nearly lost everything in the cold, but as his friends followed closely behind, he could not help but let out a slight smile.
Maybe, just maybe, there was some hope after all.
A/N: A short chapter before the climax of the first arc (Chapter 7). Kirito and Asuna make a good couple but can be quite stubborn at times (which has led to conflicts in Aincrad and post-Alicization), so it's not surprising that they would clash again in real life, especially under such tough conditions.
Also, with the EMP, Kirito's and Alice's roles are reversed vs. canon, with Kirito having to take care of a catatonic Alice.