Chapter 11: Return to Zero

Day 9

"It's time to wake up, onii-chan," Komachi cooed, tugging on his frazzled ahoge as he rubbed his eyes in the morning sun.

"It's this late already?" he cried in alarm, thinking for a moment that he would be late for school, only to remember that he was in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles away from home.

"It's still Summer Break, isn't it?" he muttered, closing his eyes to sleep again, "Even if it isn't quite summer anymore."

"Yeah, but vacation's over," came the reply as he felt a pinch on his cheek, "And breakfast is ready."

Sighing, he rose to munch on the snack bars that they had gathered from the village the night before, reminding himself that he should have been in class with Yukino and Yui, and that he should be eating lunch with Iroha and Komachi in a few hours before heading for the clubroom after school.

Yet here he was, deep behind enemy lines, surviving on cold junk food, wondering if life would ever return to a semblance of normalcy at the end of this nightmare of a journey.

But he already knew the answers, did he not? Even if Chiba was a distant dream, they still had to go home - for the ones who were gone, for the ones who remained and for the dead-fish eyed loner that was himself, even if life would never be the same again without the snow queen and his mischievous kouhai.

"Let's go," the young man in black said, as if having read his thoughts, "We'll find a way."

"How?" his little sister asked, "Where?"

"There," he smiled, pointing at the rising sun, "That's where Tokorozawa is, however far it may be."

In the silence, she did not reply, but he kept his head high and his eyes bright. Resisting the urge to stay behind, he trudged forward to lead with Shino, determined not to look back until the graves were fully out of sight.

Pausing to catch his breath, he whispered in the wind–

Thank you, and goodbye.

For the third time in three days, they found themselves back at the village, where the houses were empty and riddled with bullet-holes, and the streets ever lifeless with dead men strewn carelessly across the ground. In the serene, peaceful quiet, the livestock had returned to graze, and Kirito tried his best to ignore the crows and wild dogs feasting upon the bodies as they rummaged through the barns and cottages to replenish their stock of supplies.

"We were in a rush yesterday, onii-chan," his little sister grinned as she waved around loaves of bread and cans of preserved meat, "Else we could've had a much better meal."

"We had to go back before nightfall to retrieve Alice and bury Isshiki-san or it'll be difficult in the dark," he explained, scratching his cheek as she put together a sandwich, "But I don't know, Sugu, ransacking these homes just doesn't feel right, even if we're in dire need of resources. If this was a game, we'd be the evil bandits deserving of death and punishment."

"B-But we did this at the plane too," she stammered, having lost her appetite as the others looked on, "We took so many things from so many people."

"We didn't kill them, Sugu," he sighed, struggling to hold in the wallowing guilt, "We didn't murder them in cold blood and scrape their homes for provisions."

"Kirito," a firm hand grabbed his arm, cutting him short, "Whatever it may be, I'm sure we aren't anything like that robber I shot in the post office, or the men who killed Asuna and Iroha."

"Sorry," was all he could say in the speechless silence as he averted his gaze, unable to bring himself to look her in the eyes, "I-I guess I just need some time to get over it."

"We," she corrected, maintaining her glare even as she blushed in embarrassment, "We'll do this together, like you told me before. I-I'm here, Kirito, to shoulder the guilt and the sins with you, to take on the burdens–"

"Thanks, Shino," he smiled, patting her head as she turned a bright shade of red, unable to continue, "That was a pretty cheesy line though, now that I hear it myself."

"Y-You were the one who said it first!" she scowled, pinching him in the cheek, "And you almost made me–"

"Hey, I'm here too, onii-chan," Suguha interrupted, folding her arms, "Don't forget me!"

"Let's all get out of here, shall we?" he laughed, turning to pat her head as she giggled contentedly. With that, the group packed up and deposited their bags at the back of an old truck, which he had easily found the keys to, not that there was much to hide in an idyllic village where people led simple lives. Shino was the first to climb into the seat beside him, leaving the disappointed kendoka to join the Service Club members and Alice at the back.

"It's not the most comfortable ride, but it's the biggest we could find," he called out from the cab as the others groaned from behind, "At least it's better than a jeep or a pickup truck, and it works just fine."

"Well, it's a little emptier than it should be," came the muffled reply as he started the engine which rumbled to life, "Even with the seven of us and all the cargo and spare diesel we siphoned from the other vehicles."

A little empty huh, he muttered to himself as he manoeuvred the truck onto the road, I guess we could've fit everyone if they were here.

"Kirito, I know you can ride a bike, but when did you learn to drive a truck?" she asked the all-important question as she hung on to her seat.

"Do you really want to know?" he chuckled, wagging his finger, "I'm sure you wouldn't be here if you didn't think I could."

"That's exactly why I'm here to back you up," she snapped, turning a little red as she remembered the times in GGO and the trek down the mountain. Inhaling deeply, she clenched her fists and focused her eyes as he carefully avoided the rocks around the narrow bends, praying that the tyres would hold as cold rubber slipped on patches of frost.

Unaided by the poor suspension and hard seats, the experience of those at the back was agonizing to say the least. Yui threw up ten minutes into the journey, disoriented by the nausea and the sensory imbalance of having lost an eye and an ear, while the others could barely hold in their breakfast as the decades-old metal cage creaked with every turn.

"I-I don't feel so good, onii-chan," Suguha managed to wail, green in the face as she emptied the contents of her stomach on the floor, just a second before Komachi followed as he stopped the truck for everyone to take a breather. By the third break, nobody had anything left in them to expel, and they could finally proceed smoothly without interruptions down the winding road to nowhere.

Hours passed like years with no traffic in sight, as if they were the only living souls on earth, or at least the only ones with a functional vehicle and fuel. Kirito could not help but shudder in the cold, desolate silence, holding in the sense of dread and doom at the possible implications and holding on to the faint glimmer of hope as they came across a signboard that was written in a script that they could neither understand nor decipher.

Noting that it was the only place marked out along the country road, likely an important town or city, he hesitated for a moment as the painful memories of their last encounter with fellow humans filled his mind. Yet he gritted his teeth, determined to push on - if only to find out the true fate of the world beyond the village in the mountains.

It was only after dusk that he stopped, pulling to the side of the road. Hachiman and the others immediately piled out of the back and collapsed to the floor, the hopes of a quick getaway on wheels having long dissipated during the day. A fire was quickly set, the smoke drifting lazily into the naked sky as they inspected their injuries and replaced their bandages before turning in for the night.

Tired yet unable to sleep, Kirito had volunteered to take first shift, but was surprised to find Shino sitting beside him, averting her gaze as their eyes met in the pale illumination of the flickering flame.

"Shino, we aren't in the truck anymore, you don't have to–" he began, only for her to lean closer and rest her head on his shoulder, snuggling up to his chest.

"Shino?" he exclaimed, a little surprised, but relented as he ruffled her hair, trying to picture the Cait Sith ears that he had always wanted to feel in his hands.

"This is just like GGO, isn't it? The two of us, on an adventure together, living and fighting by each other's side," she mumbled, closing her eyes, "Say, Kirito, would you let me stay here with you and be strong, at least for a little while longer?"

"Of course," he smiled as she drifted asleep, not as the sniper that he had come to know, or the bespectacled loner that he had saved, but the Shino that was tough but gentle, fiery but shy - the girl who would fight beside him, who was now dreaming by his side.

Rest well, Shino, you've earned it.

Come tomorrow, I'm sure we'll have many more battles to win.

"Wakey, sleepyhead," he greeted, tugging on her cheek playfully as she rubbed her eyes in a daze, her hair ruffled and messy.

Just like Asuna, he thought as he filled the tank with spare diesel, feeling a sense of painful nostalgia as he remembered the time in Aincrad when he had first taught the chestnut-haired girl the joys of taking naps.

"Sorry, Kirito, I didn't realize that it was this late already," she yawned, interrupting his thoughts.

"You must've slept really well then," he laughed as she hid her face behind her scarf.

After a scrumptious breakfast of instant coffee and ham sandwiches, he could not help but grin as she was once again the first to jump into the co-driver's seat, singing the theme of New Aincrad as she took in the morning sun, as if they were all on a grand quest as a party. Before long, he found himself humming along as she turned away from the window to stare at him, reminiscing the bygone days in a world that may very well be beyond their reach.

"Quit staring and keep your eyes on the road, mister," she reminded half-heartedly as he met her gaze for a brief moment, "I won't ever forgive you if you crash the truck."

"That's why I have you as my co-driver and navigator, not that you have any maps to look at," he teased before continuing in a sincere tone, "Regardless, I'm glad that you're here with me, Shino, I truly appreciate your company."

"I-I bet you'd say that to all the other girls too," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"To Asuna, maybe," he replied earnestly, "But this is the first time I'm driving a truck, so nobody else could've been here with me but you, Shino."

"Y-You're just gonna make girls fall for you if you keep saying things that'd be easily misunderstood."

"What about you, Shino?" he questioned as she nearly choked on her water bottle, "Have you ever misunderstood me in any way?"

"Of course not, for goodness' sake, w-why would I? It isn't good to be misunderstood by a friend much less a partner, isn't it? A-And I-I'm sure I've come to understand you a little better after all this time–"

"I know, I just felt like asking," he chuckled, amused by her reaction.

"You're just teasing me, aren't you?" she pouted, folding her arms.

"I guess I wanted to hear from you, Shino," he smiled, "And come to understand you better than I currently do."

The afternoon was shaping up to be bright and sunny, and the groans of nausea from behind were noticeably absent as Hachiman and Komachi had started a game of "I Spy" to pass the time, essentially trying to guess what the other person had spotted. Suguha and Yui had joined in, not that there was much else to do other than being literally butthurt from sitting on the cargo bed for hours on end, while not being able to see what was ahead without standing up - which was by no means an easy feat when being tossed around at thirty miles an hour.

"Is it a common feature that my brother and I have on our heads?" Komachi asked when it was the kendoka's turn, "Is it–"

"Yeah, it is," she sighed, not really in a mood to play, "Sorry if it's too easy."

"You aren't the first to point that out," the President of the Service Club chuckled, "And I'm sure you won't be the last either. But hey, better the ahoge than the dead-fish eyes, amirite?"

"Oi," the loner hissed as he poked her in her weak spot, eliciting peals of laughter.

"You two are pretty close huh," the kendoka remarked, staring enviously at the siblings before turning to glare at the two silhouettes happily chatting away in the front cab, "Unlike me and my brother, I mean, my cousin."

"Cousin?" the siblings gasped at her in surprise.

"Yeah, it's a long story, but he was adopted by my mom," she scratched her cheek, embarrassed at having revealed their actual relationship, "That's probably why we aren't that close or alike."

"Suguha-chan," Komachi grinned mischievously as soon as she composed herself, "You love him, don't you?"

"W-What are you saying, of course I do. He's my brother, isn't he? Even though he isn't really–argh I'm confused."

"Forbidden l-o-v-e," she gasped as her older brother turned a little red, "Onii-chan, I hope you don't feel the same way–"

"I'm your b-r-o-t-h-e-r, Komachi," he cut her short, pinching her ahoge to emphasise his point, "And my name isn't Kyousuke. Besides I already have a girl–"

Friend.

He stopped in the awkward silence, unable to bring himself to look at the pink-haired airhead who stared quietly at him, having been left out of the conversation.

"Sorry, onii-chan," his little sister muttered, apologetic, "I-I went a little too far back there."

"Not if you promise to go out on a date with me when we're safely back in Chiba," he smiled, patting her head, "Destiny Land is a little expensive but the mall and the aquarium are merciful enough on my pockets. You wanted to try out the entire menu at Saizeriya too, don't you?

"Aww, I got to admit that scored quite highly in my book," she giggled, sticking her tongue out, "But let's bring Yui-senpai along as well, shall we?"

"Thanks, Komachi-chan," she stammered, "But Hikki, you really don't have to if you don't feel like it."

"Anyway," he exclaimed, eager to change the subject, "It's my turn, isn't it?"

"W-We're still playing?"

He nodded, looking around, only to find a mirage in the distance that was pitch-black in colour. Curious, he crawled to his feet, focusing his eyes on the unidentified void in the horizon as storm-clouds began to gather.

"What's that?" he asked in the rising winds as the first raindrops fell from the darkened sky.

The temperature plunged as ominous shadows loomed in the firmament, and Shino shuddered in her seat as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled. Behind, the others had draped a plastic sheet over the cabin and pulled on raincoats in preparation for another day of cold misery, shivering in the damp moisture seeping through their ponchos.

Gritting his teeth, Kirito turned on the wiper which squeaked with every swipe. The conversation had long ended, allowing him to focus on the road ahead, which was by no means easy to navigate under normal weather conditions, much less in the rain. He had considered pulling over to wait out the storm, but he too, had noticed the dark blotch in the distance, and curiosity had gotten the better of him, pushing him to check out the sight before the tempest could descend.

What lay at the end of the journey? What exactly had happened to the world? These were the answers that he had to know, and as it finally came into view, extending from the valley below into the horizon as far as the eyes could see, he stopped the truck to take in the truth.

The others joined him as he exited the cab, running towards the ledge overhanging the void, which was a lifeless, desolate crater that had been carved into blackened stone and melted sand. The epicentre was an abyss, where the few structures that remained standing were charred and crooked, their unrecognisable contents reduced to ash and dust swirling in the wind. Half-demolished buildings lined the edges, flames and cinders crackling in the rain, unextinguished in the downpour as swarms of flies hovered over the houses on the outskirts, the air stinking of rotten flesh.

Hachiman fell to his knees. Kirito was right after all. This was the end of the line - the world after the apocalypse, the aftermath of global thermonuclear war.

There was nothing left of the dead, nothing left for the living. No home to return to, nowhere to go. Civilisation had evaporated in mushroom clouds, the hope of running water, electricity, phone lines, the internet, basic services - gone with the superheated winds as billions were dead, destroyed, obliterated, annihilated, entire cities levelled and whole countries wiped from the face of the earth.

Even if there were survivors like themselves, the age of reason, of man itself, had ended. Those who remained would have to eke out pathetic existences, never to rise again, tormented by the memories of bygone days and innumerable 'what ifs', with no path forward and no way back but to subsist on borrowed time on the rotting carcass of the planet, where food would decay but bullets would never expire.

And that would mean killing over the last batch of resources ever - to kill or be killed, to kill to live, to kill and be killed by someone else on another day.

Such was the law of the jungle, no, the universe that was red in blood and tooth and claw, and it was ironically the real thing, the undoubtable, undeniable, indefectible, immutable truth of the world, harsh but unpretentious, genuine and authentic, untainted by the stain that was humanity - a failed species whose history would barely fill three letters if the timeline of the universe were a dictionary.

The dead-fish eyed loner stared at the void, and it stared back. He was drenched, his cheeks wet with tears flowing in the rain, his shouts of denial, frustration, anger and hopelessness drowned out by the howling winds of the storm. The end of the world was wrong as expected, but this was not what he had prepared for, and beyond what he could have ever imagined or conjure from his most horrific nightmares. It was one thing to hypothesise, to postulate, to theorize, but another to witness the truth in person, to confirm first-hand, to allow the wavefunction to collapse into a state of objective reality before his eyes, where Schrodinger's cat was very much dead like the snow kitten Shiro that they had buried.

A universe of no reason, meaning or purpose, absurd, merciless, chaotic and violent - that was the reality that he and the others had been, was, and would always be helplessly, haplessly and hopelessly stuck in, a reality that they could not reject, ignore, deny or remake, for the abyss was here before them to see, naked and bare, stripped of the concrete jungles that homo sapiens had surrounded themselves in on an infinitesimal pebble in the endless cosmos.

"Let's go as far away as we can," Kirito urged as he wrapped a dry cloth over his nose and mouth, "Everything from the air, water and soil in this place could still be radioactive."

Despondent but too shaken to object, the group moved out of sheer instinct and self-preservation, leaping back onto the truck as he revved the engine to speed away. The storm raged, blasts of cold air tearing at them from all sides as the wheels churned deep into the mud, powering through the tempest until the barren wasteland behind them disappeared in the descending darkness.

By the time he pulled over, having covered double the distance in the usual time, the rain had finally slowed to a stop. Without dallying further, he instructed everyone to discard all potentially contaminated clothing, and to wash themselves down with clean water before putting on new apparels which he had wisely stored in the safety of the enclosed front cab. They even washed their underwear and shoes and let them dry off by the fire before wiping down the exposed surfaces of the truck as the girls worked together to strip, clean and clothe the motionless android that was Alice.

That night, nobody could sleep, the scene of wanton death, destruction and devastation fresh in their minds. Shino asked if she could rest beside Kirito, and he relented despite strange glares from his little sister, who somehow managed to wriggle into the embrace of his other arm. Sandwiched between the two, he could only sigh as they stared at each other across his chest from close range, until the bespectacled girl gave up and walked away in the silence, leaving the siblings to their snuggle.

"Onii-chan," she protested, disappointed as he crawled to his feet to check on the sniper, heading for the front cab of the truck where the bespectacled girl was lying with her head on the cushion of the driver's seat, windows unwound and doors shut.

"Sis-con," she muttered as he approached.

"She can be a little mischievous at times," he laughed, scratching his cheek in embarrassment.

"I guess you've always been surrounded by girls anyway," she shrugged, "I even thought you were one yourself when we first met. Though I really wonder if we'd still have gotten to know each other if I didn't, well, misunderstand."

"Got to thank Kikuoka-san for that."

"A lot has happened since then, hasn't it? But I'm glad it did, Kirito, that our paths had crossed, that we've come to understand each other, that we've come such a long way to be here in the present, even if this could really be the worst timeline ever."

"Shino," was all he could say as the door creaked open and she climbed out, standing before him, looking upwards expectantly as he pulled her into a hug, patting her head and ruffling her hair which felt nice and soft in his hands.

"It's no longer greasy, I hope," she breathed, immersing herself in the moment, "I made sure no radioactive dust or rain would get in the way."

"You know, I haven't given up on being able to touch your Cait Sith ears one day," he chuckled, "So let's do our best together."

"You've pulled my tail before though," she blushed a bright shade of red, "I-I guess I'll let you do it again if you can get your hands on a working Amusphere. It's a little lonely being the only one left with a device."

"That'll be a bit of a tall order," he admitted, "But whatever it is, we'll make sure to hold on to yours for a long, long time. How else would see the others and tell them of our adventures when we meet again at the Log Cabin?"

In the tranquil silence, she nodded but did not reply, vowing to herself to protect the last link to the virtual world where their destinies had intertwined, where they had spent countless hours of their waking lives dreaming the same dream and gazing at the same sky - for here and there, across the differing realities and contrasting personas of the bespectacled girl and the sniper, was the young man who cared for them equally, who cherished them all the same, who was embracing her as one Asada Shino, never to let go.

Kirito, let me fight by your side to the ends of the earth, so we can be together when all this is over.

"What's the point anymore, Komachi?" the dead-fish eyed loner mumbled on the other side of the fire as his little sister carefully replaced the bandages on his arms. His wounds had begun to heal, but nothing really mattered when everything was over and gone. The Service Club no longer existed. Yukino and Iroha were no more. There was no society left to serve, to connect with, to contribute to - only useless, degenerate loners like himself and groups of bandits, thugs and scavengers living off the land and the corpses of one another.

How long more would they even last before the final vestiges of reason would disappear, giving way to the pathetic whimpers of death and insanity?

How many more nails would it take before their own fates would be sealed, buried in unmarked graves and forgotten in the lifeless, radioactive silence, non-existent blips in a cold, meaningless reality?

Komachi gritted her teeth as her brother rambled on in abject hopelessness and despondency. Clenching her fists, she asked if he was done as he paused to catch his breath, only to have him stare back at her, blank and confused, his eyes devoid of the slivers of life it used to have.

"We're already dead," he croaked as she bit down hard on her lip to steel herself, suppressing the urge to give up and break down, for it could very well be the final crack that would shatter her brother forever.

"Sorry, onii-chan," she apologised as she reached out with a trembling finger. Before he could react, she prodded hard at the wound, keeping up the strength until he fell over, rolling in excruciation and howling in agony.

"You're still alive if you can feel the pain!" she cried, unable to hold in her tears any longer as he tumbled on the ground, "So don't just say that you're dead, or you'll be spitting on the graves of Yukino-senpai and Iroha-senpai, and giving up on me."

"I'm alive too, you know," she raised her voice, straining with emotion, "Who'll take care of me if you're gone? Who'll I live for if you're just going to give up on yourself and die like a coward? Tell me, Hikigaya Hachiman!"

In the cold silence, she heaved and panted, clutching her chest which was hurting as badly as his arm, utterly drained by the outburst and the guilt - but not regret - of what she had done. She could have slapped him, or pinch him in the cheek like what she would normally do, but it would not have been enough, and she knew that she, and only she, as his one and only little sister, had the power, no, responsibility to do what she just did - even if it did not hurt any less.

"Thank you, Komachi," was all he could say as he hugged her in a tight embrace, his warm heartbeat telling her that she had succeeded, that he was back by her side.

Please don't die before me onii-chan, she whispered as she held on, and promise me that you'll still be here when I'm gone.

Suguha sat alone by the fire, watching her brother hug Shino as the dead-fish eyed loner embraced his little sister. Yui was fast asleep, thoroughly exhausted from another day of holding in her nausea, while the ever-lifeless Alice stared back at her from the other side of crackling flame, her eyes wide open, cold and unmoving as the cloudless firmament.

In the lonely silence, she hugged her knees and hid her face as she cried, unable to hold in the emotions roiling in her heart. The wounds on her arms hurt, she was in pain, yet she was alone, just like the time she had fallen into the pond in the backyard, unable to see the silhouette of her hero through the darkness as she continued to sink deeper into the depths–

"Sugu," she stirred at the mention of her name.

"Why are you even here?" she snapped as he drew closer, "Shouldn't you be with–"

"I'm your older brother, Sugu," came the firm reply, "I can't just leave you when you're sad."

"In the end, I'm just your little sister, aren't I?"

"Of course, Sugu, that's why I'll always take care of you."

"Just leave me alone, onii-chan," she managed to utter as he hesitated for a moment before turning to walk away.

In the speechless quiet, she buried her face in her knees once more to cry herself to sleep.

A/N: Chapter title inspired by Re:Zero. Hachiman makes reference to the MC (Kousaka Kyousuke) of Oreimo, which is also set in Chiba like Oregairu and published by the same company as SAO (with crossovers within the Dengeki game-verse). On the same note, Kousaka Kirino shares the same VA as Suguha while Ayase shares the same VA as Yukino.

WW3 is confirmed, and with this, we move on to the climax of the second arc in the next chapter.