Chapter 15: Revelations

Day 11

Later, as the group sat discussing around a fire, it was clear that Alice had no memories of the Real World. It was as if she had just awoken from Underworld, restarting her life as a human from day one, which made perfect sense as the baseline of a reset. Kirito was no less apologetic, though he could not help but smile when she repeated the line that he had told her in those final moments - that they would just have to make new memories together - as if she had somehow retained some inklings of the past.

And perhaps she had after all, as the dead-fish eyed loner, quoting a certain expert called Zaimokuza, had suggested that her initial confusion and amalgamation of egos could have been caused by the entanglement of her personality with those of fictional characters from anime and manga, which could only have been from the Real World prior to the reset.

Either way, he was satisfied with the outcome that was far from ideal but nowhere close to the worst case, knowing that he could not possibly ask for more. If anything, he was glad that she would be able to truly experience being a human, to take in the world around her at her own pace, instead of being fed with information through convenient data downloads. That said, it was understandably frustrating to have to show her what a truck was, to teach her how a gun worked, and to tell her why the Real World was in such a pathetic state, though he certainly cherished the constant back-and-forth with the blonde knight, recognising that the present was a priceless gift built on past sacrifices.

He was nonetheless serious in bringing her up to speed, not just because he may not be around to guide her forever, but because he knew that he would need her help as his trusted partner, even though he had made a point to avoid mentioning anything too painful, including the cruel yet undeniable fact that they had begun their journey with seven more people than the five who remained.

"Where's Stacia, I mean, Asuna?" she asked in genuine curiosity and innocence, noting that her chestnut-haired rival was noticeably absent, "She loved you so much, she couldn't have just given up on you, right?"

Met with cold silence, she froze, horrified as a look of anguish flashed across his face.

"S-She's gone," he somehow managed to find the words, if only to tell her the hard, unfiltered truth, "All the others too, everyone who fought in the War with us - Lisbeth, Silica and Sinon who was also the goddess Solus. We're the only ones left - you, me and my little sister Suguha whom you may know as Terraria."

"I-I'm so sorry, Kirito," she cried, falling to her knees, "I-I didn't know. I really shouldn't have asked."

"You should, Alice," he replied, equally as guilty, "We're all fellow survivors here. You have the right to know. I-I just couldn't bring myself to break it to you. Sorry for making you ask."

"H-How did they die?" she questioned, biting her lip to prepare herself for the answers. No matter how difficult or hurtful, she had to know, to share his pain and shoulder his burdens. She would not let him cry alone.

"I-I'll tell you everything, Alice," he exhaled, trembling with emotion, "I won't hide anything from you, but promise me that you won't blame yourself."

Minutes passed like a century. By the time he was done, she had completely broken down, eyes blank and dry with no more tears left to shed. She stared petrified at her hands, shaking at the sight of the blood that seemed to drip from her fingers and her palms, unable to believe that it was none other than she herself who had brought her friends on this cursed trip to Europe, where so many had died dragging her useless body to the bitter end.

And yet she was told of the news that her beloved Underworld, her homeland, the only reality that she was supposed to know, which so many of her comrades had lived and died for, was likely gone forever, completely destroyed and wiped from the face of the earth by titans clashing beyond their reach. From the village of Rulid where she had grown up as Alice Schuberg, to the capital city of Centoria where she had trained to be the Integrity Knight Alice Synthesis Thirty, misguided and manipulated as she had been - the entirety of her existence and her identity, everyone and everything she ever knew, had been erased, obliterated and annihilated by the beings who had designed their world, the devils who had created their gods.

In the ashes and the dust, there was nothing left for her, no home to return to, no family to greet. On this cold, desolate wasteland in this strange, alien reality, she was truly dead, with nobody to remember her past but herself.

She was alone, a ghost with no name.

Her vision began to blur.

"Alice!" he cried, a faint light in the hell that she was stuck in, "Stay with me, don't push yourself!"

Sorry, Kirito, I don't think I can keep that promise.

I don't know if I can live with myself, I don't know if I can live with this.

Fatigue washed over her soul as the android dreamed of strange and electric dreams. Amidst the intertwined strings of fate and intersecting planes of reality, she had been his senpai, his little sister, his housemate, his pet, but in none of those timelines was she ever able to be with him as a romantic life partner. She had even been an android before, one that was admittedly cuter and much more powerful than she could ever hope to be, but even in that realm, she had sacrificed herself for him to accomplish what he had to do.

Kirito, please don't leave me, she sobbed. She had never been so weak, so dependent on someone else, and she truly hated it as the Integrity Knight that she was. Yet she could not help herself, nor stop the tears from flowing when she opened her eyes to see him sitting by her side, watching over her as she blinked in the gentle rays of the morning sun.

"Don't worry," he smiled, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, "I'll take care of you this time. How're you feeling in terms of energy?"

"B-Better," she stammered, hiding her growing blush beneath the sheets, "I don't think I'll need another charge for the next twenty-four hours."

"I'll fix up the generator with more fuel. That could last you another day or two."

"Three or four if I continue lying around like this," she added with a hint of frustration, even as part of her wouldn't mind resting for a little longer.

Nonetheless, as soon as the last cans of diesel were depleted, she crawled out of the bed for him to catch some sleep, noting that neither he nor the others have had much rest the night before. Suguha appeared to have suffered the worst of the lot, though she stubbornly tagged along as the blonde knight followed the dead-fish eyed loner and his pink-haired companion to pay their respects at the graves under the great oak tree.

Alice knelt in front of the name Asada Shino, adding the title 'Solus' to the marker as she thanked the late goddess for her help in Underworld and for her sacrifices in the Real World, offering the flowers that she had picked along the way - a small token of respect and acknowledgment of her debts that she knew she would never be able to repay.

"Terraria," she said, turning to bow to the last remaining goddess of her world, "The bruise from the fight last night was nothing compared to the pain you suffered at the hands of a thousand foes. You have my eternal gratitude. You need not blame yourself."

The kendoka returned her gesture, though she waited until they returned to the farmhouse before she gave her reply, taking the opportunity to say the words while her older brother was still asleep.

"Stacia was your rival, wasn't she?" she muttered, blushing, "I heard from onii-chan that the both of you fought pretty intensely upon your first encounter."

"Alice Synthesis Thirty, you attacked me last night," she stammered, turning a brighter shade of red, "Does that make me your rival too?"

"I-I didn't expect you to stand in my way but I wouldn't mind another round, Terraria," the blonde knight replied with a firm gaze, "And I'll make sure to fight you as Alice this time, not a confused mess."

Sparks flew as she glared back, acknowledging their renewed rivalry before looking away with a smile. She was a kendoka after all, and wood, not words - was the bone of her shinai. She would prove her love for her older brother, not with speeches but with swings, and if Alice wanted to be with him, she would definitely have to get through her first.

Don't wait too long to make your move, Alice, she whispered to herself as a burning sensation gripped her body, the wounds on her arms hurting from under the scars, I really don't know if I can hold on much longer.

Kirito had decided over dinner that they should rest for yet another day at the farmhouse, a well-deserved break after nearly two weeks of endless journeying. With enough food and provisions to go around and a field full of crops, he had even joked that they could live off the land till the end of time.

"We aren't skilled farmers and can't grow crops in a nuclear winter," the dead-fish eyed loner pointed out before the others even had the chance to fantasise, "Not to mention that we're deep behind enemy lines, and we'd be taking in radioactive contaminants from the air, soil, rain and groundwater."

"Hikki, you have a better idea?" his girlfriend asked, not out of condescension but in genuine curiosity.

"No," came the flat reply, "But I thought we'd all decided to head home. What happened to that? Why are we even talking about staying behind to live and die in the middle of nowhere?"

"I was just kidding," Kirito explained, taken aback, "Of course we'd still be heading east. All I'm saying is that we don't have to rush things at this point."

"Why? Because home isn't going anywhere and we don't have any deadlines to meet?" the loner retorted, increasingly agitated, "I'm not against taking a break, Kirito, but it sounds to me as if you don't actually feel like going back to Japan at all."

"Hachiman, you sound like Asuna when she was first trapped in Aincrad. All she wanted to do back then was to clear the game as quickly as possible, even to the point of fainting in a dungeon, where she would've been killed if I wasn't around in time to pull her to safety."

"But you did clear the game in the end, didn't you, Kirito? And you had to race against time before your bodies could atrophy in real life, before the government could pull the plug on your life support. Otherwise, you wouldn't even be here with your little sister today."

"Yes, Hachiman, but we did enjoy our time in Aincrad, even if we hated the fact that we couldn't log out at will. I met so many friends on my adventures whom I'd otherwise never have been able to get to know in real life. Asuna and I even had an AI daughter together, and we all logged back in to explore New Aincrad and many other virtual worlds after we were freed."

"That's exactly what I mean, Kirito, you're a gamer to the core. Your soul thrives on escapist fantasy, which is why you keep going back for more. Perhaps this is just another post-apocalyptic survival RPG to you, where you can take your time to enjoy the graphics, go on side quests, gather materials and farm for experience before taking on the main storyline, if at all. Maybe you've been so desensitised after diving into so many different virtual worlds that you don't even think this is base reality, that if we die here, we somehow respawn or wake up in another world - an isekai afterlife, if you will, where the next journey awaits us."

"And that is why, Kirito," he snapped, "You have no real desire to clear this game, do you?"

"What the hell do you mean, Hachiman?" the young man in black demanded, unable to restrain his temper any longer, "We've worked so hard and travelled so far. We've lost so many and sacrificed so much. And yet you doubt my intentions?"

"Where are we going, Kirito? Reacting to immediate danger is one thing, but the moment we're at peace, your mind wanders. Even if we're to ever head home after you've had your fill of side-quests and experience-farming, I bet it'll probably be just another Grand Quest to you."

"And what in heaven's name is wrong with that, Hachiman? I'll bring you back to the doorstep of your damned home, if it even exists anymore, but you don't get to decide what I think about it. Who gives a flying shit about how you or I cope with this doomed reality, so long as we all get what we want, and arrive at where we want to be?

"Because to us, this is real life, Kirito. There is no afterlife, no alternate reality, no dimension or plane of existence outside this hell. The world has ended, plain and simple, and whoever has died is gone forever. The sooner we can pull our heads out of our asses, the sooner we can go home in one piece without any distractions."

"Hachiman, you little coward. You're just jealous of me, aren't you, because I've just revived Alice, and I have my little sister here with me, so you couldn't bear to hear me joke about enjoying life a little. You want to go home so desperately, not because you really think there's going to be anything left of your house in Japan, but because there's absolutely nothing left for you here but the graves of your dead ex-girlfriend and your little sister."

"Am I right, Hikigaya Hachiman?" Kirito challenged, springing to his feet to look down at his adversary.

"What if you are, Kirigaya Kazuto?" Hachiman spat, rising to meet his glare, "That just makes the two of us, two bloody hypocrites, one coping with fantasy and the other hiding behind the 'real thing'."

Silence ensued as they fell back to their seats, having shouted the words that they had wanted to say. Yui sighed while Suguha excused herself from the table, her food untouched and uneaten. Kirito rose to stop her, concerned that she had also skipped lunch, but decided to let her be as she continued to stumble towards the bed. After all, things had grown a little awkward between them after he had, for all intents and purposes, rejected her confession, and the incident with Alice had certainly made matters worse, even if he could never bring himself to blame her.

"You alright in there, Sugu?" was all he said from outside the door, "Just rest up, Alice and I will take over your guard duties later."

With the night still young and his sister soundly asleep, he decided to spend some time with the blonde knight instead, not that he had anyone else to turn to after the debate with the loner. He found her lying on the soft grass, gaping in fascination and wonder as the stars glittered across the sky. Grinning, he lay down beside her, watching in quiet mirth as she turned a bright shade of red.

"I-It's hard to focus with you staring at me like that, Kirito," she stammered, looking away in embarrassment but making no effort to distance herself.

"Didn't we use to do this as kids, on the meadows of Rulid?" he smiled at her reaction, "RATH may have deleted a lifetime of my memories, but I somehow remember that we did."

"The Administrator messed with my mind too," she breathed, rueful, "But I guess I've come to terms with it. It's sad to lose some of those precious moments, but the night sky here is beautiful, and we're here to enjoy it together - you and me, the two of us."

A long silence ensued as they continued to gaze at the sky, the occasional cloud drifting past the moon. In the absence of light and smog, the firmament was a clear window to the vast, infinite universe, where countless celestial bodies continued to shine, rotate and revolve across lightyears of space, indifferent to the speck of blue dust in a secluded corner of the Milky Way.

"D-Did you use to do this with Stacia?" she asked, unsure if she really wanted to know.

"Yes, Alice, we did, in the Real World and in Aincrad. We were in a floating castle, but the stars were somehow no less real."

"Aww," she pouted, envious, "They were real because your feelings were real."

"They were indeed, all the experiences we had, the emotions we felt, the friends we made and the comrades we lost, they were all real - just like you, Alice," he pinched her cheeks to emphasise his point.

She pinched back, only for him to retaliate with a poke to her side which appeared to be a weak spot on her body. Before he knew it, they were tumbling on the grass, laughing, tickling and teasing each other as they were reminded of the vague memories of their childhood together.

Finally pausing to catch his breath, he found himself on top of her, only for her to pull him to the ground, switching places. She hesitated, her face and lips inches away from his, before deciding to rest her head on his chest instead, her long, blonde hair scattered over his shirt as she listened to his beating heart.

I want to fight by your side, Kirito, but lying here doesn't feel too bad either.

A/N: A closer look at the thoughts and motivations of our two MCs before the action starts in the next chapter.

Character doppelgangers referenced (same VAs as Alice and Kirito):

Saekano: Kasumigaoka Utaha (senpai) and Aki Tomoya (who also collects SAO figurines in canon)

No Game No Life: Shiro (imouto) and Sora

Sakurasou na Pet no Kanojo: Shiina Mashiro (housemate/pet) and Kanda Sorata

No Game No Life Zero: Schwi (ex-Machina) and Riku