Papyrus wasn't particularly liked by most monsters. He knew that much.
He tried to not let it bother him, but how could he? He wanted people to like him, yet no one did. He tried to be as friendly as he could be, making his presence known and whatnot… but they couldn't see him… not in any way that mattered at least.
It had been like this for as long as he could remember. He was the larger, louder, more intimidating one though Sans always said that he was reliable, commanding, and awe-inspiring.
No one else seemed to think that.
Then there was Sans, the lazy prankster, who just seemed to be able to fit in and make friends like it was second nature. He tried to not let it bother him, but it was just so hard not to when he was reminded of his failure every single time he left his house.
His empty mailbox and the other, overflowing with letters. A mailbox that looked more and more full each time he passed by. So much so, that the metal of the mailbox was deformed and stretched outwards with letters spilling out onto the snow.
Nowadays Sans never brought them in, he just left them there. As if it didn't matter that much, as if making friends was effortless to Sans and it wouldn't matter if he didn't respond.
The only letters Papyrus got were coupons for Mettaton's newest products.
It was hard to not be a bit bitter. He loved his brother for always supporting him, but he also hated the fact that his brother was the only one supporting him.
It shouldn't matter that Sans was the only one that believed in him, but it was hard to not resent the fact that he only had Sans.
But he kept a smile on his face, he didn't want to be a bother.
Then there were the Royal Guards. The protectors of the Underground. Undyne was part of the Royal Guard, the captain in fact! And everyone loved her. All the kids cheered when they saw her, eyes lighting up with adoration and glee. She was tall! She was loud! She was intimidating! Yet… Everyone loved her?
What did she have that he didn't?
...Undyne was part of the Royal Guard!
—
Papyrus sighed, the stone doors continued to stand there stoically. Barring him from the many humans that were surely beyond, his ticket to joining the Royal Guards was a mere door away, yet so far away.
Alas, it was time to go home. He could've stayed out and watched the admittedly garish door for hours on end if he wanted to, but he had to go home and make sure Sans hadn't decided to pass out on his bed, couch, floor, or on the roof of all places.
Even if a human came out, they would surely be befuddled by the numerous puzzles along the way and despair at the brilliance of the Great Papyrus and his equally brilliant puzzles. Then while they were racking their minds to find a solution... he would spring out of a pile of snow! Going 'NYEH!' To the shock and dismay of the confused human. They would be captured and imprisoned in the coolest tool shed in Snowdin, His tool shed! And he would capture them and… and… and… something would happen! And he would be popular!
The day had started like any other day. Sans was out doing whatever he did at his four sentry stations and Papyrus was inspecting his newest dish using his MTT Brand BlowtorchTM wary of any paler portions that would need to be torched to perfection to get just the right color and crunch.
Then Sans popped up, saying 'hey bro don't mind me, i have to check something' and disappeared in the blink of an eye.
…
Sans was as he always was, incredibly irresponsible. Leaving his station unattended and unskeletoned. Abandoning the honor of keeping a watch out for dastardly humans! With no other skeletons around who would skeleton the stat—
Of Course!
It was at this moment that his boundless generosity shone brightest. As a respectable soon-to-be Royal Guard he couldn't leave the stations un-skeletoned. In a completely unselfish spur-of-the-moment decision, he decided to stand guard outside the Ruins!
And that's exactly what he did! Standing stoically in the snow. Watching a door for hours on end! Which wasn't boring at all! Well, it was, but he was willing to stand around doing nothing if there was even a sliver of a chance that a human came out from behind those doors!
Yet, today wasn't his day it seemed.
No humans appeared, only a monster, a zombie! He had never seen a zombie before! He hadn't even known that such a monster even existed!
A skeleton with layers! How unique and incredible!
But not a human...
He sighed and gave the door a last glance of grudging respect, an adversary worthy of his respect, to be able to stand up to the Great Papyrus himself. Turning around he started his trek home, snow crunching beneath his battle boots.
It was quite foolish of him to have mistaken her for a human in hindsight, she was nothing like the ferocious, diabolical humans that Undyne and the rest of the Underground had told him about. Quite the opposite in fact.
He didn't have eyes, but even he could see that the zombie girl wasn't evil. Moderately sized eyes, chocolate brown shoulder-length hair, about as light as sans, and in so much awe over his grandeur that she was stumbling over her words. She didn't appear to have any weapons either. Again, nothing like the vicious humans Undyne had told him about.
He would have to do better and not let his excitement get the better of him if he truly wanted to reach the standards of the Royal Guards.
—
Passing by Doggo's checkpoint, he gave the sheepish-looking Doggo a cool nod; Ensuring that it wasn't too enthusiastic, just a single nod and no more.
Patting himself on the back for his perfect demonstration of coolness Papyrus continued onwards—
Someone was lying on the ground, were they hurt? Their most prominent attribute was the admittedly impressive pair of glowing boots.
They turned their head towa— Oh! It was Bea!
She looked miserable. She wasn't frowning, but her mouth drew a straight line across her face. The beaming smile he had seen before was long gone.
"H-Hey Papyrus," she said in a washed-out tone. Like one of Sans' socks.
"Hello!" He replied. Seeing her not smiling felt strange, "You Seem Down, What's The Problem?"
"I don't think you'll be able to help," she said as she flopped about in the snow. Well, that was a bit rude! How was he supposed to help if he didn't know what the problem was?
"I Am A Good Speaker And An Even Better Listener! You Can Tell Me Anything!" He proclaimed to the sad zombie. She eyed him for a bit before opening her mouth.
"I'm hungry. I'm tired. I want to be nice, but it's really hard sometimes when others try to sta—" She paused, "others don't want to be my friend. I don't really see things getting easier either. I just feel like… giving up."
He nodded in an understanding way as she listed out her woes."Ah, I Also Have Some Of Those Problems!" Well, not really, he only had trouble with one of the things she had listed. Friendmaking was not a skill he was proficient in either, but he was a seasoned expert on puzzles… and what were problems if not exceedingly annoying puzzles!
He plopped down in the snow next to her. Awkwardly sitting down next to her, his lanky proportions creating a stark contrast with the forlorn little zombie. Bea was quietly making snow angels as she stared at the rocky ceiling far above.
"What Is The Smallest Part Of Your Problem?" he asked
"What do you mean?" she answered with a confused stare.
"Well, You Look Absolutely Miserable! What Is Making You Sad Right Now." He noted as he watched her eyebrows scrunch up.
"I-I'm cold?" She whispered with a slight shiver.
"REALLY?" He looked at her clothes, a shirt, and jeans. He was a skeleton and didn't feel particularly affected by the cold. But Bea was no skeleton and no one else wore so little around Snowdin. Most monsters had at least some fur if they were living in Snowdin. Or at the very least wore coats, mittens, or scarves.
Bea had none of those.
"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE WARM CLOTHES?" He gestured to her noticeably un-fuzzy outer layer, in both skin and clothing. He had assumed the cold didn't affect her like himself. If she was so vulnerable to the cold... why was she lying in the snow? The last time he checked, the snow was not warm.
"Well, I didn't have time to prepare… and I can't go back to prepare? If you know what I mean" She shrugged.
Papyrus had no idea what she meant. Why wouldn't she be able to go back? Walking backwards for enough time and you would return to the place you started from. A tried and tested theory that had never failed him. She came from somewhere around the door, why couldn't she just go back?
"Well, If You Can't Go Back. The Warmest Place Around Would Be Grillby's. It's A Very Cozy Place, I Assure You. Though I Wouldn't Suggest The Food There. Lot's Of Disgustingly Greasy Burgers And Fries."
That sounds nice! Where is it?" Bea asked with a renewed spark in her eyes. Sitting up a little as she motioned to stand up.
"Oh! It's Just A Short Walk From Here! The First Step Is...
—
Ah, I should probably give up right about now.
"And After The 37th Step, All You Need To Do…"
I had already started to tune Papyrus out. I was screwed. Four more sentry dogs barred my path to the mystical land of fire and fries. Two with battle axes, one with a sword, and another with a spear.
I have an umbrella.
Joy.
This was absolutely absurd. I really, really doubted the possibility that a few kind words would stop guards trained to capture humans. What was I supposed to do? Pet them on the head and go 'Good Boy! Who's the best fluffy flufferson! You are! You are! Mr. Fluffers would never stab anyone! Oh boy oh boy, do I not like getting stabbed. So please don't?' and hope that everything works out? No thank you! Nuh-uh, my limbs were going to stay attached to my torso. I was going to use my still-attached head and not run head-on into danger.
No. I mentally slapped myself, now was not the time for puns.
Maybe I could go back and just hide out in the Ruins? Flowey's 'I'm sure you'll be able to handle everything no problem.' seemed like a bit of an exaggeration now.
Just a bit.
My chances out here were probably as horrible as Flowey suggested my chances with Toriel were. In any case, death by a poisoned pie seemed like a nicer way to go than a stab in the gut.
Even as my internal debate about what the best way to die was going on, Papyrus hadn't stopped giving directions to burger land.
"And After You Get Past The Electric Maze—"
Electric maze.
"And Then There Is The Gauntlet Of Deadly Terror—"
Gauntlet of Deadly Terror. That certainly didn't sound pleasant.
"Do You Want To Try Them? They Are Off Right Now, But I Can Turn Them On—"
"NO! I mean… I wouldn't want to bother you?" I suggested, trying to keep a straight face.
"You Wouldn't Want To Bother Me?! How Considerate Of My Labor And Time! No One Ever Considers How Much Work I Put Into Everything I Do!" Papyrus beamed.
Hmm. Uhh. That was a lot to unpack, but I was going to freeze if I tried to give a horrible impromptu therapy session right now.
"Can you help me get there?" I looked up at him and pleaded.
He froze as if I asked for his firstborn child.
"Me?! You Want Me To Help. ME?!—OF COURSE I WILL HELP!" Papyrus yelled."PLEASE IGNORE MY YELLING! I AM ASKED FOR HELP ALL THE TIME! THIS IS NORMAL! THIS IS FINE!" He was practically vibrating with how fast he was speaking, a mix of confusion and glee evident in his voice, "DO YOU NEED ME TO CARRY YOU?! I AM ASKED FOR HELP ALL THE TIME!" He paused as he quickly got into what I assumed was a heroic pose, straight back with one hand on his hip and the other on his chest, his face was also tilted a bit upwards A pose he had most likely practiced countless times in front of a mirror.
"THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS AN AMAZING SKELETON AND ABLE TO PROVIDE AID WHENEVER THE SITUATION CALLS FOR IT," Papyrus yelled as a strange... hopeful gleam appeared in his eyes, a smile stretching from ear to— wait. Papyrus didn't have ears. A smile stretching from imaginary ear to imaginary ear appeared.
Well, this could end badly.
—
Over Here Is The Electric Maze, Made By The Amazing Doctor Alphys!
"Where is it?" I looked over the… empty landscape. All I could see was snow, there was nowhere to hide electrical fences as far as I could see.
"It can not be seen by eye or eye-socket for you see it is… INVISIBLE!"
"Wait, really?" I was surprised, though I felt like I shouldn't be. Magic was real after all.
"Yes! See! One Wrong Step And The Holder Of This Orb Will Get A Hearty ZAP!" He gestured to the regular-looking ground.
He took a step forward.
"Like Thi—NYEHEHEHEHE—As You Can See… It Works!"
—
"Over Here Is The Ball Game. Get The Ball Into The Hole And You Get Gold!"
"You get gold… just like that? Who pays for it?" I asked
"Everyone Of Course!" Papyrus responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Huh?"
"Well, Where Else Would Our Taxes Go?"
—
"Over There to our right Is Dogamy And Dogaressa's Station. They Should Be On Break Right About Now. Would You Like To Visit Them—"
"—The ones with the axes?" I interrupted with half-baked memories of the so-called Dogs-o-Doom that Papyrus had included in his 'simple' step-by-step path to Snowdin.
"Yes!" Papyrus exclaimed.
"...I'm feeling a bit tired… maybe later?"
—
"This Is Perhaps My Most Devious Human Capturing Trap Yet! …Forged From The Fires Of My Heart. Aged Within The Waters Of A Waterfall In Waterfall For Twelve Consecutive Days. Serenaded With The Exploits Of Their Predecessors. Pummeled With Bare Fists Imbued With Chivalry And Honour—"
Those probably didn't meet OSHA standards… or was it the FDA?
Papyrus paused for dramatic effect… "SPAGHETTI!"
Papyrus looked at me as if he had just shown me the universe served on a platter, though I was pretty sure the universe hadn't spontaneously changed into a plate of frozen pasta with marinara sauce and meatballs.
"Is it… poisoned?"
"No! Do You Really Think So Little Of Me?"
Phew.
"I Did Say It Was My Most Devious Trap Yet! It Is Much, Much Worse Than That."
Oh.
"It Is My Home Cooking!" Papyrus declared proudly as he gazed upon his plate of frozen pasta.
That's it?
"I See Your Apprehension, But It Is True. It Was I The Great Papyrus Who Created This Masterpiece. So Incredible That Anyone Who Passes By Is Drawn Like A Moth To A Flame."
I looked it over… in all its frozen glory... was it really that good?
Sadly, This One Was Specially Made For The Human," Papyrus declared with an apologetic tone, as if he was sorry for leading me on, then he grinned, "Fret Not Miss Zombie! I, Master Chef Papyrus… Will Make You All The Pasta You Could Ever Want! Heh Heh Heh Nyeh!
I looked at the skeleton cackling with delight as he looked upon his dastardly trap.
I grinned back.
—
Personal
Research and development of the soul unit have been completed. The stabilizer gel should be able to sustain a soul even without its original container. If the human dies I will be prepared to suggest an option to Asgore and Toriel. For the sake of monsterkind.
Despite the potential uses a soul could offer to our escape from our prison, I will not cause their demise as even I can clearly see the joy the Human has brought to both Asgore and Toriel. To the young prince as well who seems to look up to the Human as some sort of role model or... sibling… Oh.
In retrospect, the reasons they denied my previous requests are quite clear.
Personal ll
The Fallen Human snuck into my lab in the middle of the night. At first, I was quite wary as any sane monster would be. A human strolling into the home of a monster has historically not been the most friendly of encounters.
I picked them up with blue magic of course and spun them around a bit, nine revolutions around the room, a fun experience if I do say so myself. They didn't seem to share the sentiment and started to threaten to quote: "Kick you in the balls so hard your grandchildren would feel it" despite the lacking results of such an attempt on a skeleton. In response, I asked why they didn't knock on the door. After a few quiet seconds of what I assumed was their realization of their lacking intelligence and/or civil behavior they glared at me and said, quote: "Shut up."
As I assumed they had a reason for showing up unannounced and their terrible demonstration of being courteous, I told them to get on with it. Earning myself another needless glare. After the Human finished being annoyed, they said, quote: "You got a plan to free the monsters you sack of bones or will I have to do all the work?" A bit rude, but cooperation is achievable with a shared goal.
—
How should Paps dialogue be structured?
I Am Not Yelling. I AM YELLING.
I am not yelling. I AM YELLING.
I AM ALWAYS YELLING. LIFE IS A ROLLER COASTER OF PAIN AND SUFFERING. AHHHHHHH! YOUR EYES WILL NOT ESCAPE THE WRATH OF CAPITAL LETTERS.
Literally just respond with a number.
—
Checklist
-Thank Coram Deo for being cool (eh, I'm too shy to do that)
-Go back to previous chapters to have more interaction between Toriel and Bea, too sudden of a departure. Also, the ending of the Doggo scene needs to be messed with.
-More planning